checkmate, big geology!!
Submitted 6 months ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/0c8439f6-f924-4a6c-825d-cc00d3116cce.png
Comments
JoMiran@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
slurpyslop@kbin.social 6 months ago
didnt use enough cement
interolivary@beehaw.org 6 months ago
Definitely! I find that most problems in life can be solved with cement; if it didn’t solve your problem, you just didn’t use enough of it.
sigmaklimgrindset@sopuli.xyz 6 months ago
Where is this from?? Is this AI?
xthexder@l.sw0.com 6 months ago
I believe that’s Mt St Helens erupting. Real footage from 1980 (though this gif is sped up).
JoMiran@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
Mt. St. Helen’s eruption, 1980. I remember this form when I was a kid. I couldn’t wrap my head around a mountain exploding then, and I still can’t.
supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 6 months ago
Where is this from?? Is this AI?
At this point in Earth’s timeline (1980) AI had not yet gained control of Earth’s volcanoes through a projection network of 80s music into the asthenosphere.
Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 6 months ago
This requires a lot of concrete. A more economical solution would be to just move the volcano elsewhere. Plus then you can sell all of the new real estate where the volcano once stood!
dmalteseknight@programming.dev 6 months ago
Given the state of the world, those volcanoes are probably already owned by foreign investors to use as land banks.
SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Meanwhile Ethiopians are dodging lava from 3 simultaneous volcanoes erupting.
huquad@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
You’re missing the bigger picture. Move the volcano to the ocean. Then bit by bit you get some land that you can sell later when you want to retire. Kind of like the plot to that super man movie.
someguy3@lemmy.ca 6 months ago
Now we have lava and a cement projectile!
disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 6 months ago
It’s a shame we can’t grow a large enough potato.
holycrap@lemm.ee 6 months ago
Not with that attitude
Rolando@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Hold on a sec… what if just aim the volcano at our enemies?
the_post_of_tom_joad@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
Putting a gun barrel on the top of our volcanoes and just randomly waving it around at other countries lol i love it
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 6 months ago
Works okay in Dwarf Fortress.
Zerush@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
affiliate@lemmy.world 6 months ago
unfortunately this would only work on tanks that shoot lava
MonkeMischief@lemmy.today 6 months ago
“Tank division here! We’ve fired everything we’ve got at the lava!..Now what?”
mozz@mbin.grits.dev 6 months ago
I like how the diagram contains an illustration of one of the flaws in the plan
nondescripthandle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
Wanna know my pet peve? I just know whoever honestly asked that question did zero research at all about it but instead of asking if anyone has ever done it they ask why no on ever has, even though I just know they didn’t so much as google it once.
Blackmist@feddit.uk 6 months ago
It’s the same people who post “what time does big Tesco shut?” on Facebook.
Chadus_Maximus@lemm.ee 6 months ago
What time does Yellowstone erupt tho?
Nobody@lemmy.world 6 months ago
If you put concrete over the volcano, how are you going to throw virgins in as a sacrifice to the volcano god? Just asking for trouble here.
letsgo@lemm.ee 6 months ago
Just leave a virgin-shaped hole in the middle of the concrete block. It won’t change the efficacy of the concrete due to the magma wavelength being so much greater than the hole diameter (the mesh screen on a microwave principal).
BobbyNevada@discuss.tchncs.de 6 months ago
This hole was meant for me!
RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 6 months ago
Just put up some “no eruption” signs.
ladicius@lemmy.world 6 months ago
That’d be about as ridiculous as the proposal that is being dismissed into oblivion in this thread but at least economically and technically feasible.
Three or four signs should suffice.
ivanafterall@kbin.social 6 months ago
The sign won't do much good without force of law. We need legislation outlawing these eruptions.
RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 6 months ago
That goes without saying. We need to regulate volcanic burp strength, ejaculation mass and toxic fumes. Pyroclastic flows as well.
joel1974@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Put a really big wooden spoon over the mouth of the volcano
Obi@sopuli.xyz 6 months ago
Smart to go for wooden, because then the handle won’t get hot!
Hedup@lemm.ee 6 months ago
Also fun fact - you can make a gun ineffective and safe just by welding shut its barel.
Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website 6 months ago
Ineffective, definitely.
Safe for the target, also maybe. Just depends on whether the exploding action and barrel throw shrapnel down range, or if you had a shitty weld. Guy holding it won’t have a good day, but could survive. Something something Kentucky ballistics.
Idk man, this plan is sounding pretty credible.
Wait, wrong community…
urfavlaura@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
yeah a pretty credible way to defend yourself against your target
philpo@feddit.de 6 months ago
Read somewhere in an book that sometimes soldiers/aides tried to hurt/kill their officers my minimally reducing their barrel width mechanically when cleaning their pistols for them. Hard to detect and can fuck someone up good.
But while I can see how that would work in theory I don’t see how this could be done without someone noticing it and with the tools at their disposal.
the_joeba@lemmy.world 6 months ago
You can just plug it with your finger, unless you’re going to tell me that cartoons are lying.
Holzkohlen@feddit.de 6 months ago
Just pump out the magma til it’s empty and use it to heat homes. Win win
NeatNit@discuss.tchncs.de 6 months ago
I’m absolutely sure this wouldn’t work but I need to know why it wouldn’t work
ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 6 months ago
Simple. What are you going to pump it with? If you have something you can contain magma in to pump it around, why not just build everything out of that and not worry about the magma anymore?
archon@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
For a small scale demonstration, OOP should try chugging a bottle of laxatives, insert a buttplug, and see how it goes.
Taleya@aussie.zone 6 months ago
I was gonna ref the coke and mentos challenge but your suggestion has a much higher hilarity factor
ZMoney@lemmy.world 6 months ago
This is literally what happens when a volcano erupts. Magma solidifes at the top and creates a plug, which builds pressure until it explodes.
Prethoryn@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Dude, you are going to break this person’s heart. Keep this knowledge to yourself.
Anamnesis@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Bobby, if these kids could understand volcanic geology, they’d be very upset right now.
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
cement: mostly not rocks and mortar mix or whatever the fuck concrete: mostly rocks, mortar mix, and significantly stronger than cement. lava: literally actually just fucking molten rock also lava: buried thousands of feet deeper below millions, possibly billions of pounds of more rock concrete: weights about the same
shitposting aside this would just spray incredibly small chunks of solidified lava everywhere, for miles.
EvacuateSoul@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Cement is the chemical that cements. Mix it with sand and you get mortar, add aggregate and you get concrete. Concrete is not only made with cement, if you swap it for bitumen, you get asphalt.
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
there we go. This is someone that cements.
psud@aussie.zone 6 months ago
It’s like expecting the pipe of a pipe bomb to contain the explosion
Somethingcheezie@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Build a bigger pipe. Concrete on the out side of the mountains. Lots of it
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
i mean, it does contain it, so uh.
It just won’t contain it forever.
beebarfbadger@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Okay, but what if you push it down with both your hands? Lava couldn’t get out then. Checkmate.
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
damn, you got me there.
MotoAsh@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Oh I get it! If you stack rock on the hot rock, you can stop the hot rock from moving the rock with more rock!
… Unironically, this DOES work … sorta’. Though it’d be dumb to do by man, because a ‘rock plug’ is exactly what forms at the top of many volcanos after the magma cools. It’s why many volcanos have flank eruptions where magma pushes through some side crack, or build and build until the rock plug pops catastrophically.
Of course some volcanos don’t have the right mix to form rock plugs, and any non-dormant volcano can pop them, but the point is it does have an effect that can delay and redirect eruptions.
If humanity doesn’t kill itself off soon (bad news on that front), I wouldn’t be surprised if one day we’re building megastructures around volcanos specifically to manage them instead of being subject to them.
fossilesque@mander.xyz 6 months ago
Haha, that’s pretty cool. Is there anything written about this?
MotoAsh@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Absolutely TONS of info, though I’m not a geologist, nor have I studied much, so I sadly do not know of any solid references I could simply point at. I’ve just picked up a few details over the years watching random geology videos on YouTube.
GeologyHub makes frequent short videos on current activity, and he always comments on the mechanisms at play, and even makes and explains his educated guesses on what will happen. A plug forming comes up quite often when eruptions slow, even in eruptions that are destined to continue erupting.
maculata@aussie.zone 6 months ago
This is a sad and unfunny attempt to distract the damage done to good people on both sides of a volcano.
The real solution is to present the map of potential impact, and then draw on it with a Sharpie to change the outcome.
frezik@midwest.social 6 months ago
Brilliant! Sign this $1B invoice and I’ll setup a team to start on it.
Zacryon@lemmy.wtf 6 months ago
Did she ever pop a pimple? Volcanoes build up an insane amount of pressure.
pineapplelover@lemm.ee 6 months ago
If we put enough corn kernels it would fill up the volcano with popcorn and it will just shoot popcorn all over the tri state area 🧠
owenfromcanada@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Volcano erupting? Just tell it to stop. It legally can’t erupt without your permission.
booty@hexbear.net 6 months ago
congratulations: you have made a new volcano in a location much more difficult to predict
Fedizen@lemmy.world 6 months ago
why not like pour water on the volcano, my dude
set_secret@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Hmmmm. Looks like making there worlds biggest canon has zero downsides imho.
dragnucs@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
If pressure builds up we won’t riaj anything because the cemenbt would just be propoulksed in the outter space and not hurt anyone.
tektite@slrpnk.net 6 months ago
When Kilauea was making news for erupting, I showed my (now ex) partner a photo of the lava flow over the road with hazard barriers to keep people away.
Her response was to ask why they didn’t just divert the flow away from where people are.
RunawayFixer@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Why has noone ever experimented with placing a very large spaceship in the mouth of an active volcano? And when erupting, the space ship would fly to space without needing any fuel. No resources wasted on multiple stage rockets just to carry up fuel a few km, all that’s needed is an enormous spaceship in the shape of a cement plug.
TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 6 months ago
Duc(k/t) tape is cheaper
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 6 months ago
Big badda boom
BilboBargains@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Prevent harmful eruptions with one simple trick. Frees up more time for your other hobbies, like making pipe bombs.
supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 6 months ago
Big volcanoes look like this
Image
(Mount Rainier, Washington)
The BIGGEST volcanoes look like this
Image
Or this
Image
Notice how they don’t have that nice big pretty volcano cone shape? It just looks like some drunk geologists scribbled on a map and drew circles around a low lying area with a lake or two in it and called it a “volcano” or a “volcanic zone”.
The reason though is that the BIGGEST and most destructive volcanic eruptions tend to happen with lava/magma that doesn’t flow very well and thus like you getting a stuffed nose, shit gets blocked up. Like many of us, these volcanos don’t solve the problem and go take a decongestant or blow their nose, they just sits there sniveling and stewing, failing to release the pressure that keeps building and building and building.
These eruptions are called felsic reactions (the opposite of mafic, goopy eruptions you have seen footage of from Hawaii). An immense amount of gas is released by magma as it becomes exposed to the surface as the gas is no longer kept in the magma at immense pressures. The magma can’t flow and “pass the gas” so to speak so a plug forms and what you get is a terrifyingly big pressure cooker that just builds and builds like that person on the plane next to you that just keeps sniffing and sniffing and never blowing their nose.
When it finally explodes because the built up pressure overcomes the plug the explosion is so catastrophic it doesn’t leave a clean volcano shape. What you are left with is an uneven low topography dotted with lakes that marks the site of an incomprehensibly large explosion, hence the topography of Yellowstone and the Taupo Volcanic Zone.
Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world 6 months ago
So you are saying we need more concrete?
the_post_of_tom_joad@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
Paving over all of Yellowstone is the only right answer.
NounsAndWords@lemmy.world 6 months ago
No no no, we need to dig down to the magma to release the pressure!
Silic0n_Alph4@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Time to invest in concrete companies. The demand is going to be HUGE!
pete_the_cat@lemmy.world 6 months ago
IIRC when Mount Saint Helens erupted in the 80s it blew the top half of the volcano off.
the_post_of_tom_joad@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
Yeah and slightly off topic wasn’t the pic of Helens blowing its top taken by a man who knew in advance the explosion would kill him and protected his film? Am i thinking of the right story?
supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 6 months ago
So much awesome power in that eruption (with non-awesome human and nature/animal consequences).
mountsthelens.com/history-1.html
This article is a good play-by-play of how the eruption physically progressed, I particularly like this illustration.
Image
jballs@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
So you’re saying we need to cover Wyoming in cement. Gotcha.
Seriously though, cool info!
supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 6 months ago
I am sure if you sold it to Wyoming voters as a way to hurt trans people they would happily vote for it and drown themselves in a sea of concrete.
FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee 6 months ago
Made me whip out my geology notes I took a few semesters ago, thanks for the fun explanation
supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 6 months ago
Hell yeah!
Zacryon@lemmy.wtf 6 months ago
Thank you, kind geology enthusiast.
Really barely comprehensible how immense those volcanic activities are.
On a side note, you’ve listed insane unit after insane unit of death and destruction. And then there is this sentence:
That was a cute turn and I laughed. :D
Bombastic@sopuli.xyz 6 months ago
Lies spread by Big Volcano
Wake up sheeple
interolivary@beehaw.org 6 months ago
Ohhh, I had no idea there were different kinds of volcanoes but it does make sense in hindsight.
Well, I guess this might have been covered in primary or secondary education at some point but it’s been about 3000 years since my last geography class
supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 6 months ago
There is a wonderful diverse world of volcanic eruptions! One thing you might not have thought about is how glaciers often form at the top of large cone volcanoes and the way the lava erupting interacts with a large volume of ice can shape the eruption significantly. One of the biggest results are lahars, like muddy, liquidy avalanches but even faster and deadlier.
One of the thing that links all volcanic eruptions and is a good orientation point for comparing between different eruptions and volcanoes is that all magma pretty much comes up from the mantle to the near surface starting at the same chemical composition. If the magma feeds into large underground chambers (batholiths) and is allowed to cool slowly then certain minerals will begin to form and precipitate out like snow that layers up on the bottom of the chamber. What minerals these are depends on how long, how hot, how much pressure, but you can vaguely think of it as a process of distillation where magma progresses from the original “mafic” composition to a “felsic” one as the high temperature mafic minerals crystallize leaving behind the felsic magma mixture.
This is a graph of Viscosity, the more Viscous the Magma the less ability it has to flow like a liquid (and thus the more likely a plug is likely to form inside a volcano). Image
Rinox@feddit.it 6 months ago
Except Vesuvius, which looks like a volcano, but in 79CE erupted violently sending lave, magma and molten rocks several kilometers away, exactly like the stuffy nose you described. It completely destroyed Pompeii and Herculaneum, burying them for thousands of years.
Image
Still nothing when compared to the destruction that the “Campi Flegrei” brought 37’000 years ago, completely burying a huge section of the Campanian coastline.
Image
supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 6 months ago
Super cool!!
Aain I love how it looks like a drunk geologist made a scribble on a map and said before passing out “that Campi Flegrei, that’s a BIG one right there!” and you are just left looking at the map being like… what… are you sure that just looks like you randomly circled a huge part of the landscape…?
Nindelofocho@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Thank you that was super informative. Is there anything that can be done to mitigate an impending eruption? Ive always heard that if one of the big super volcanoes goes it could be quite catastrophic for the entire world. Surely theres been some research into like pressure relief holes or something…antacid tabs?
supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 6 months ago
I am sure there are lots of geologists who have thought of it, it makes sense right?
The problem is that nobody gives a shit about listening to geologists unless they are talking about where to find oil. Even if a geoengineering project of this scale and magnitude (with such catastrophic consequences if it goes wrong) where possible with near current geological science and hardware this degree of interest and investment of society is only ever committed to visions techbros provide and I don’t think a single techbro has ever taken a geology class and actually remotely paid attention.
It was geologists in the 1970s who first pointed out the obvious connection between human released CO2 emissions and global warming. Nobody gave a shit :)