Every moment I spend with you is better than the next.
Give me some good ones
Submitted 3 weeks ago by ickplant@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/53cc062d-6014-4399-8c49-3849a29bf941.jpeg
Comments
nirodhaavidya@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
nailingjello@piefed.zip 3 weeks ago
Bravo, that one took the most thought to figure out it was backhanded.
v3r4@lemmy.org 3 weeks ago
Really got me till the third thought xd
Diddlydee@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
Shakespeare had a banger.
“I was going to challenge you to a battle of wits but I see you are unarmed.”
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
“I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
A former co-worker got me with this one many years ago. I laughed out loud. I’ve never forgotten it.
CentipedeFarrier@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
Got in a literal fistfight in middle school using that first one. Pretty sure they didn’t understand it, and lashed out from ignorance.
drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
A duel with fists is still a duel
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
You’re really at the top of the bell curve!
runner_g@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Your intelligence is at least on the top 95% of people.
Jankatarch@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
This took actually long to kick LMAO
QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
It sounds like you’re calling them intelligent when you’re really saying they’re nothing special.
luciferofastora@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
Most people like to feel like they’re better than most. Mediocrity is an insult to them.
Blessed are the simpletons that never realise or just don’t give a fuck.
Digit@lemmy.wtf 2 weeks ago
Yes
FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
You represent the 5th percentile really well!
borokov@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
You are hard to underestimate.
Objection@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
Colbert at Bush’s correspondence dinner:
The greatest thing about about this man is that he’s steady, you know where he stands. He believes the same thing on Wednesday that he did on Monday… no matter what happened on Tuesday.
dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
A burn so severe, so long-lasting, that he no longer has to pay to heat his home.
Romer@reddthat.com 3 weeks ago
You are a testament to the quality of the educational system.
nailingjello@piefed.zip 3 weeks ago
Not directly related, but I’ve always likes the comeback
I’ve been called worse by better people
Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
Almost every British insult is like this.
- I admire your courage in wearing that!
- Your personality is unique.
- I’m impressed by your unconventional approach to social intercourse.
- Your hair is magnificent, does it grow everywhere like that?
- You have such a tremendous, characterful appearance. Ever thought about a career in radio?
- You’re very special.
ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Best one is to respond to something they say with “Oh that’s quite interesting” in the flatest tone possible, then move the conversation on to a different topic or exit.
Works particularly well on Americans because in American English “quite” is an amplifier modifier but their brain will be confused by the flat (not sarcastic) tone.
HurricaneLiz@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Those are cold 😂
Birch@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
You cured my impostor syndrome, thank you.
SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world 3 weeks ago
This one’s not so brainy, but considering the character it was addressed to it was enough - that being one of my favorite lines from the show Firefly: “Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.”
treesquid@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Your ratio of words to significance is extremely high
klay1@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Among everybody here, you have the most potential to learn something.
drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I’ve been told that a few times…
klay1@lemmy.world 1 week ago
good luck out there my friend
RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 3 weeks ago
These kinds of insults just make people sound like redditors.
SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world 3 weeks ago
What are the odds that a significant portion of Lemmy/Piefed users weren’t at one time exactly that? I figure that number’s gotta be pretty low.
RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 3 weeks ago
Yeah, but you can be a redditor without being a redditor (derogatory).
thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
I am probably one of few lemmings who have never had a reddit account
Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
I wouldn’t come here if it weren’t for self satisfied know it all’s balanced by insecure smarty-pants’.
With a sprinkling of whatever grammar-Nazi wants to correct my comments.
I generally try to hang out with people smarter/more experienced than I in the hopes some of it rubs off on me.
But, I’m also a pretentious twat, so there’s also that.
SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
My the rest of your day be as nice as you are.
QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
i like “have the day you voted for!”
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
You can’t be underestimated
TheDoozer@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
“My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.”
-Malcom Reynolds, CAPT.
Big_Boss_77@lemmynsfw.com 2 weeks ago
I call her Viera…
rumetal@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I like how you live your true self even when it’s not appropriate.
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I’m confused, should I keep stripping, or…
Opisek@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Did I tell you to stop?
nailingjello@piefed.zip 3 weeks ago
Unironically I think this is the reason why I like one of my friends.
bastion@feddit.nl 3 weeks ago
yeah, seriously a great trait. …in some people.
QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
autism simulator
vaionko@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
PixelPinecone@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
This made me laugh. Thank you
vaionko@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
Good to hear my cyanide & happiness obsession bring happiness for someone
billwashere@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I see you are not hindered by the restrictions of logic.
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Many of these rely on big words, or are actually pretty obviously insults even if you don’t understand.
The real gems are the ones that read like simple english compliments, unless you spend actual effort looking for the insult.
MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
Bless your heart
Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
During my short tenure in the American South I thought women of all ages were in to me because they’d often say, ‘Bless your heart!’ and call me ‘Honey’.
Turns out I should have kept my head down. Don’t be fooled by Southern Hospitality.
Sprinks@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Well aren’t you a smart cookie!
Imhotep@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Both answers to @PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca seem to imply there’s a hidden insult in their comment, but I can’t find it. I’m the dumb cookie and I don’t like that
shalafi@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Gotta use a positive tone and smile:
“You’re no better than you ought to be!”
zebidiah@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Wisdom has been chasing you, but you are faster!!
db2@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Look up Shakespeare’s insults. They’re literally classic.
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
I bite my thumb at you, knave!
Cattail@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
What you lack in evidence or convincing argument, you make up with conviction.
drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
That’s the trick. End with the part that sounds nice
daannii@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
A snarky one I heard from a woman to another.
“It’s amazing how you can pull off THAT outfit”
Implying poor taste in fashion. I do think delivery is important here.
I don’t have a lot of petty female friends but I’ve certainly encountered them and they are masters of the craft of two faced insults. Especially involving taste and habits.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
My dim brother threw something similar at that me (he always wears whatever plaid is in fashion). I will admit my fashion is loud, but damn if I don’t look good. I cheat a little. I have a tailor who will take my cheap button downs and tailor them for 10 bucks so i always look sharp as fuck.
daannii@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
“I love how you are so confident with your body to eat that”.
No fat-shamming like girl fat-shamming.
I’ve on occasion realized like days later that I was being insulted cause my little monkey brain was just thinking.
"This cake is good. I don’t know what that has to do with my body confidence ".
Honestly I used to joke that negging doesn’t work on me. Not cause I’m so smart I see through it, but that I don’t realize some guy is trying to insult me until like the next day. Or sometimes never.
This one guy at a bar after telling him about my graphic novel collection
Him: “you arent that unique you know?”
Me: “yeah I know, Ive met people with similar interests online. There is a whole subreddit on the locke and key series, very popular”.
Him: states at me blankly as then i proceed to tell him more about the series he was obviously only half assed pretending to be interested in.
His loss. The locke and key series are fabulous.
FiniteBanjo@feddit.online 3 weeks ago
Don’t feel too down, it’s not like this project won’t be the same without you.
squaresinger@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I don’t have one in English, but I have some in German for those who understand.
My Granddad had a female coworker that was higher in rank than him. He would always greet her with “Meine Allerwerteste”. It’s a word play because “Meine Werteste” is equivalent to a very formal version of “my dear”. “Aller” is a superlative form, so basically “My very dearest”. But “Mein Allerwertester” (so the male form of what he used) means “my ass”.
The other one is to use terminology like “Er versucht immer sein Bestes zu geben” (“He always tries to give his best”). In Austria, you are legally allowed to ask for a work testimony from your employer when you are looking for a new job. There is some legislation that prohibits negative speech in these work testimonies so that your employer cannot make you look bad in front of your potential new employer (which makes the whole concept pretty useless, but it is what it is). So to get around that, employers adopted a kind of “secret” code where e.g. “tries to” means “fails to”. So you can use the same kind of terminology to deliver something that sounds like a compliment, but for everyone in the know (which is most people by now) it’s clear that you deeply offended the person you are talking about.
pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
You were so cute when I first met you.
NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Whoa, we’re not negging here
bastion@feddit.nl 3 weeks ago
bless your heart.
officermike@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
wisdom has been chasing you, but you have always been faster
pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Was that actually in the show? I don’t remember that one.
tias@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
Don’t think so. It’s a Nigerian expression.
Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 2 weeks ago
I swear I remember pausing it to go “did he really just say that?!” But rewatching the pictured scene in S2E19 he’s speaking with Aang who would not be a worthy recipient of such a burn, and he doesn’t say such a thing to Zuko in that episode
Digit@lemmy.wtf 2 weeks ago
Faster than wisdom. Ha! Gotta remember that.