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Give me some good ones

⁨896⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨ickplant@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/53cc062d-6014-4399-8c49-3849a29bf941.jpeg

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Comments

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  • vaionko@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    Image

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  • klay1@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Among everybody here, you have the most potential to learn something.

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  • GladiusB@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I fucked your cousin

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    • Bgugi@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      😀😀😀…😠

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  • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    You can’t be underestimated

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  • nirodhaavidya@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Every moment I spend with you is better than the next.

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    • nailingjello@piefed.zip ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Bravo, that one took the most thought to figure out it was backhanded.

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    • v3r4@lemmy.org ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Really got me till the third thought xd

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  • squaresinger@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I don’t have one in English, but I have some in German for those who understand.

    My Granddad had a female coworker that was higher in rank than him. He would always greet her with “Meine Allerwerteste”. It’s a word play because “Meine Werteste” is equivalent to a very formal version of “my dear”. “Aller” is a superlative form, so basically “My very dearest”. But “Mein Allerwertester” (so the male form of what he used) means “my ass”.

    The other one is to use terminology like “Er versucht immer sein Bestes zu geben” (“He always tries to give his best”). In Austria, you are legally allowed to ask for a work testimony from your employer when you are looking for a new job. There is some legislation that prohibits negative speech in these work testimonies so that your employer cannot make you look bad in front of your potential new employer (which makes the whole concept pretty useless, but it is what it is). So to get around that, employers adopted a kind of “secret” code where e.g. “tries to” means “fails to”. So you can use the same kind of terminology to deliver something that sounds like a compliment, but for everyone in the know (which is most people by now) it’s clear that you deeply offended the person you are talking about.

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  • officermike@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    wisdom has been chasing you, but you have always been faster

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    • pelespirit@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Was that actually in the show? I don’t remember that one.

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      • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I swear I remember pausing it to go “did he really just say that?!” But rewatching the pictured scene in S2E19 he’s speaking with Aang who would not be a worthy recipient of such a burn, and he doesn’t say such a thing to Zuko in that episode

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      • tias@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Don’t think so. It’s a Nigerian expression.

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    • Digit@lemmy.wtf ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Faster than wisdom. Ha! Gotta remember that.

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  • Objection@lemmy.ml ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Colbert at Bush’s correspondence dinner:

    The greatest thing about about this man is that he’s steady, you know where he stands. He believes the same thing on Wednesday that he did on Monday… no matter what happened on Tuesday.

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    • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      A burn so severe, so long-lasting, that he no longer has to pay to heat his home.

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  • Birch@sh.itjust.works ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    You cured my impostor syndrome, thank you.

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  • Diddlydee@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Shakespeare had a banger.

    “I was going to challenge you to a battle of wits but I see you are unarmed.”

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    • DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      “I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”

      A former co-worker got me with this one many years ago. I laughed out loud. I’ve never forgotten it.

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    • CentipedeFarrier@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Got in a literal fistfight in middle school using that first one. Pretty sure they didn’t understand it, and lashed out from ignorance.

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      • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Did you win?

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  • Redfox8@mander.xyz ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    You’re so vain, I bet you think this meme is about you.

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  • Cattail@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    What you lack in evidence or convincing argument, you make up with conviction.

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  • zebidiah@lemmy.ca ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Wisdom has been chasing you, but you are faster!!

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  • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    You’re really at the top of the bell curve!

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    • runner_g@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Your intelligence is at least on the top 95% of people.

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      • Jankatarch@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        This took actually long to kick LMAO

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    • QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      so average? is that an insult

      Image

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      • Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        It sounds like you’re calling them intelligent when you’re really saying they’re nothing special.

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      • SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        For about half the people, yea.

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      • luciferofastora@feddit.org ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Most people like to feel like they’re better than most. Mediocrity is an insult to them.

        Blessed are the simpletons that never realise or just don’t give a fuck.

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      • Digit@lemmy.wtf ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Yes

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    • FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      You represent the 5th percentile really well!

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  • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Many of these rely on big words, or are actually pretty obviously insults even if you don’t understand.

    The real gems are the ones that read like simple english compliments, unless you spend actual effort looking for the insult.

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    • MacNCheezus@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      Bless your heart

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    • Digit@lemmy.wtf ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Hey!

      That one’s about me!

      ;D

      (took a thought an a half.)

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      • Imhotep@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I don’t get it…

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    • Sprinks@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Well aren’t you a smart cookie!

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      • Imhotep@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Both answers to @PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca seem to imply there’s a hidden insult in their comment, but I can’t find it. I’m the dumb cookie and I don’t like that

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  • Strawberry@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I can’t imagine a better day than one spent after your company.

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  • crapwittyname@feddit.uk ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

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  • Romer@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    You are a testament to the quality of the educational system.

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  • borokov@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    You are hard to underestimate.

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  • treesquid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Your ratio of words to significance is extremely high

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  • Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Almost every British insult is like this.

    • I admire your courage in wearing that!
    • Your personality is unique.
    • I’m impressed by your unconventional approach to social intercourse.
    • Your hair is magnificent, does it grow everywhere like that?
    • You have such a tremendous, characterful appearance. Ever thought about a career in radio?
    • You’re very special.
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    • ThePyroPython@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Best one is to respond to something they say with “Oh that’s quite interesting” in the flatest tone possible, then move the conversation on to a different topic or exit.

      Works particularly well on Americans because in American English “quite” is an amplifier modifier but their brain will be confused by the flat (not sarcastic) tone.

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    • HurricaneLiz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Those are cold 😂

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  • vga@sopuli.xyz ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    lemmy.ml might be a good instance for you.

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  • nailingjello@piefed.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Not directly related, but I’ve always likes the comeback

    I’ve been called worse by better people

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  • TheDoozer@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    “My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.”

    -Malcom Reynolds, CAPT.

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    • Big_Boss_77@lemmynsfw.com ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I call her Viera…

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  • SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    This one’s not so brainy, but considering the character it was addressed to it was enough - that being one of my favorite lines from the show Firefly: “Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.”

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  • Snazz@lemmy.world ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I must have used up all my luck before meeting you

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  • RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    These kinds of insults just make people sound like redditors.

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    • SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      What are the odds that a significant portion of Lemmy/Piefed users weren’t at one time exactly that? I figure that number’s gotta be pretty low.

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      • thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I am probably one of few lemmings who have never had a reddit account

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      • RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Yeah, but you can be a redditor without being a redditor (derogatory).

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    • bastion@feddit.nl ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Savage!

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      • RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        You can say that again.

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    • bastion@feddit.nl ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Savage!

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      • RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        You can say that again.

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    • bastion@feddit.nl ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      savage!

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      • RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        you can say that again.

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  • billwashere@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I see you are not hindered by the restrictions of logic.

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  • SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    My the rest of your day be as nice as you are.

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    • QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      i like “have the day you voted for!”

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  • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Just happy in I did!

    You give me credit, and I’ll give all the shit!

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