Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk
- Comment on How do you sleep at night? Please respond with a number 4 hours ago:
Where would you like it to go? This is a safe space.
- Comment on How do you sleep at night? Please respond with a number 22 hours ago:
Where’s the flying helmet and celery option?
- Comment on word 22 hours ago:
‘a’
Beat that for efficiency!
- Comment on Trump wants the NFL to change its name so that soccer is the only sport called football: ‘We have to come up with another name for the NFL stuff’ 2 days ago:
National Bingo Bongo League? NBBL? It has a ring to it.
- Comment on Let the awkward silence begin... 2 days ago:
A full English with a pint of Guinness will set you straight for the day.
- Comment on Patients clogging up A&E with hiccups, sore throats and niggles 4 days ago:
The doctor who saw me at A&E was pretty rude about 111 and said they pretty much just send everyone his way regardless of what’s wrong with them.
- Comment on It's the Lord's problem now. 4 days ago:
It’s beyond the environment. It’s not in an environment. It’s been towed beyond the environment.
- Comment on Patients clogging up A&E with hiccups, sore throats and niggles 5 days ago:
111 doesn’t help. I got an insect bite a while ago and had an allergic reaction to it so I and rang 111. After working their way through their ‘is this person actually dying’ script they told me to go to A&E. I felt like a time-waster, but went along because that’s what I’d been told to do. But, realistically, I could probably have waited untill the following day and gone to see my GP.
- Comment on fawlty towers? 5 days ago:
This is Toad The Wet Sprocket, of course!
"Rex Stardust, lead electric triangle with Toad The Wet Sprocket, has had to have an elbow removed following their recent successful worldwide tour of Finland. Flamboyant, ambidextrous Rex apparently fell off the back of a motorcycle. “Fell off the back of a motorcyclist, most likely,” quipped ace drummer Jumbo McClooney on hearing of the accident. Plans are already afoot for a major tour of Iceland.
"Divorced after only eight minutes, popular television singing star Charisma changed her mind on the way out of the registry office, when she realised she’d married one of the Donkeys by mistake. The evening before, in LA’s glittering night spot The Abbatoir, she’d proposed to drummer Reg Abbott of Blind Drunk, after a whirlwind romance and a knee-trembler. But when the hangover lifted, it was Keith Sly of the Donkeys who was on her arm in the registry office. Keith, who was too ill to notice, remained unsteady during the short ceremony and, when asked to exchange vows, began to recite names and addresses of people who also used the stuff. Charisma spotted the error as Keith was being carried into the wedding ambulance, and became emotionally upset. However, the mistake was soon cleared up, and she stayed long enough to consummate their divorce.
“Dead Monkeys are to split up again, according to their manager Lefty Goldblatt. They’ve been in the business now ten years, nine as other groups. Originally the Dead Salmon, they became, for a while, Trout, then Fried Trout, then Poached Trout In A White Wine Sauce, and finally, Herring. Splitting up for nearly a month, they reformed as Red Herring, which became Dead Herring for a while, and then Dead Loss, which reflected the current state of the group. Splitting up again to get their heads together, they reformed a fortnight later as Heads Together, a tight little name which lasted them through a difficult period when their drummer was suspected of suffering from death. It turned out to be only a rumour, and they became Dead Together, then Dead Gear, which led to Dead Donkeys, Lead Donkeys, and the inevitable splitup. After nearly ten days, they reformed again as Sole Meunière, then Dead Sole, Rock Cod, Turbot, Haddock, White Bait, the Plaices, Fish, Bream, Mackerel, Salmon, Poached Salmon, Poached Salmon in a White Wine Sauce, Salmon Meunière, and Helen Shapiro. This last name, their favourite, had to be dropped following an injunction, and they split up again. When they reformed after a record-breaking two days, they ditched the fishy references and became Dead Monkeys, a name which they stuck with for the rest of their careers. Now, a fortnight later, they’ve finally split up.”
- Comment on UK digital ID plan gets a price tag at last – £1.8B 1 week ago:
Fuck off, I’m not paying £1.8B for a digital ID that I don’t even want!
What’s wrong with my Blockbuster membership card?
- Comment on happy buy nothing day to those who celebrate 1 week ago:
Oh crap, I bought some bin bags. I don’t think they were on sale though.
- Comment on Take a guess 🤣 1 week ago:
Peedow in a meedow. Obv.
- Comment on SipsTea 2 weeks ago:
Threaten to change the WiFi password until he accepts your dominance.
- Comment on Thought of this while reading about history of polar region exploration 2 weeks ago:
I don’t know, but I want one!!!
- Comment on Thought of this while reading about history of polar region exploration 2 weeks ago:
I’m so impressionable. Now I want a circus sandwich!
- Comment on Peace 3 weeks ago:
“Fuck all y’all. One at a time or all together, cunts, it’s all the same to me. I’m gonna fuck up your whole shit!” - M. Fucking Gandhi, bitches!
- Comment on Peace 3 weeks ago:
- Mr Bean
- Comment on Sounded really nice UNTIL you get the FULL story 3 weeks ago:
True. Toyota is a decent make.
- Comment on I hate it when people use pictures showing the condiments only on top of a hot dog. 4 weeks ago:
What is wrong with you?
- Comment on I'm saying that when you're ready you won't need to dodge Bond James Bond's bullets 4 weeks ago:
Made me think of this:
- Comment on Neither an empire, nor chicken 4 weeks ago:
Makes you think, makes you think hard.
- Comment on Where the fuck am I? 4 weeks ago:
Lostrich.
- Comment on Does anyone know what's inside this building? 4 weeks ago:
Murderous escape room.
- Comment on Epic Rizz fr 4 weeks ago:
I see your dick pic and raise. A dick and pussy pic:
- Comment on What's your answer? And in the picture which news story is being reported? 5 weeks ago:
5 October 1974: Guildford pub bombings: IRA bombs exploded in two pubs frequented by off-duty British military personnel. Four soldiers and a civilian were killed and 44 injured.
- Comment on And what car did you learn in? 5 weeks ago:
OG Mini. So, yes, had a manual clutch. Now, 40-something years later I’m driving an automatic for the first time because they don’t make the car I wanted at the spec. I wanted in a manual.
- Comment on It's very thick and lustrous. 5 weeks ago:
I’ve heard the end of the ponytail has a sharp blade concealed in it and he knows some wicked kung fu moves with it.
- Comment on You're so predictable 5 weeks ago:
Fuck you, I’m not predicatable, I’m reliable.
- Comment on You're so predictable 5 weeks ago:
No you don’t.
- Comment on This man is suffering 1 month ago:
ITT: drifts being thrown around all willy-nilly!
