Hossenfeffer

@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨We broke up. I miss him. And now this carrot is laughing at me⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago⁩:

  Not if you don’t make eye contact.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Not even half a year left ⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago⁩:

  I genuinely knew a kid at university who did this. He also had four piles for clothes (because why hang shit up, right?). There was:

  • clean
  • almost as good as clean (worn once or twice)
  • good enough (worn up to six or seven times).
  • dirty (basically once it got ‘crunchy’).
• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Not even half a year left ⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago⁩:

  I have a dishwasher, why do I need a clothes washer as well?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Not even half a year left ⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  Sweet baby Cheezus, the fucking noobs here, man.

  Right way around.
  Inside out.
  Back to front.
  Inside out and back to front.

  That’s just one pair, nimrod.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Decided to dig a big hole⁩ ⁨⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  You numpty, you’ve dropped your banana down the hole. We’ll never know how big it is now!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Four arrested after photo of Trump and Jeffrey Epstein projected onto Windsor Castle⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  Trump’s here for two days, I think. I imagine all four will be released without further charge on the third day.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Doctor who left patient during operation to have sex with nurse allowed to practise⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  Doesn’t sound like they need any practise.

• Everytime I use frozen spinach in a recipefeddit.uk ↗
  Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩ | ⁨8⁩ ⁨comments⁩
• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The Stop Trump coalition published this video⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  My time has come! Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuule Britanniaaaaaaaaaa! Britannia rules the waaaaaaaves, Britons never, never, never, will be slaaaaaaaaaves!

  Unless, of course, it’s to US tech-bro billionaires, Russian oligarchs, Eton hedge-fund fuckbois, Australian media deathlords, or a range of other vastly wealthy skidmarks.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The Stop Trump coalition published this video⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  Maybe you miss their point, perhaps because they didn’t use a /s.

  In the mind of the racist dingleberries there are white immigrants (including but not limited to Celts, Romans, Normans, Saxons, Vikings) who are ‘real Britons’ and then there are brown immigrants who are clearly not ‘real Britons’, on account of how they don’t look like us but do like spicy food.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Don't spend your life in front of a live camera⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Splitters!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨We need more signs like this posted everywhere⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah, but how many times have you run into that streetpost?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨grocery⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Ruh Roh!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Now it's stuck in my head⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  For the young ones…

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨If the UK government proposed to increase tax by 1% and make trains free would you be in favour?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Yup. I’m cool with paying more tax for better services.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨BBC under fresh pressure over extent of Reform UK coverage⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Exactly like him.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Who plays like that x_x⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I still think all you inverted Y axis people are monsters.

  “O fuck it! I’m a monster! I admit it!”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨BBC under fresh pressure over extent of Reform UK coverage⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  My wife and I had an argument about this the other day. She thinks Farage doesn’t want to be PM because too much work, etc. Personally I think he would utterly fucking love to be PM so he could (in his own mind) be held as an equal of Churchill, Thatcher, and any other far higher achieving politician. He craves validity and this would give him all he could ever wish for.

  I don’t, for a moment, think he’d put the hours in and do any work. He’s spent his entire political life doing sweet fuck all (as a statement) and I doubt he’d turn around and change.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨A call to action⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  “To whom the concern is about to come crashing down on like a dinosaur-killing asteroid,”

  Too much?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨DEI, more like DIED⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  How many fathers was he suggesting each home should have?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Former MasterChef presenter Gregg Wallace launches legal action against BBC⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  How dare you tell people that I flashed my nob at a bunch of women without their consent without my consent!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨University Mergers - not the best sign!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  the proposed name of London and South East University Group

  So inspiring.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨McDank⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  We’re very humble round these parts. We have Chicken Cottage.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨walter⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Ed Balls

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨McDank⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I’ll bet their off-menu items are either the absolute best you’ll ever eat or will see you needing an immediate stomach pump.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The correct way⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  You have to house a fighting-age male immigrant in your shed.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨ngl im kinda here just waitin for it 🤣⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Lost my crypto to a Nazi clown

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Name this minivan⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Looks like a Bertram to me.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How to poop outdoors in a way that won’t harm the environment and other hikers⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  The answer is a kilt. Prove me wrong.

  Edit to add: the fact I have to choose ‘English’ and cannot choose ‘Scottish’ makes me want to stab some fucker in the face with a tattie scone.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Big small doesn't want you to know that⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  The fact is, this is about establishing what we do most of best and finding fewer ways of doing more of it less.