My brother did this to me once. Not because I was trying to fuck by touching his food, he did it just to fuck with me.
Hey Tungsten5, watch this
Punches the fuck out of my macdons burger, flattening it
Deserved? Poll inside
Submitted 8 months ago by TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone to [deleted]
https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/pictrs/image/334af10b-adee-4660-830c-1d130993df01.webp
Comments
tungsten5@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
ConstantPain@lemmy.world 8 months ago
That’s a copypasta reference of another post from the guy’s perspective.
From his perspective, she is just a weird coworker who likes to touch his food, and he gets tired of telling her off.
TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 months ago
liar
Zuriz@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
In the description sh.itjust.works/post/42168198
mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Deathray5@lemmynsfw.com 8 months ago
Fake: well obviously
Gay: almost certainly written by a guy
uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 months ago
This sounds like the kind of flirting I’d expect after seeing '80s and '90s teen angst movies. In retrospect screenwriters just don’t understand how humans interact, or rather they just don’t care and go for madcap antics instead.
I’m way neurodivergent, and was completely unaware of human interaction, so I was looking at Pretty in Pink and St. Elmo’s Fire (etc. etc.) trying to decipher how all that works.
I became sexually active at 26 after folks from the kink community noticed my nerdy vibe, and they schooled me in some basic human interaction. (Note that I matrix-dodged a barrage of incel-to-fascist pipeline bullets thanks to some amazing strokes of fortune.)
After the fact, in recollection, I realized then that a lot of women in my young adult life were signalling me and I never knew.
I also realized my aunt was totally hitting on me when I was sixteen. That’s all sorts of awkward to reconcile.
uniquethrowagay@feddit.org 8 months ago
That’s exactly my experience, minus the creepy aunt and the kink community. My girlfriend is the exact same and I still don’t know how we managed a first kiss. I wouldn’t miss it for the world now, though.
vivalapivo@lemmy.today 8 months ago
Note that I matrix-dodged a barrage of incel-to-fascist pipeline bullets
Here goes my hero
Bane_Killgrind@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
I’m glad they got strokes too
bathing_in_bismuth@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST
AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 8 months ago
“I became sexually active at 26 after folks from the kink community noticed my nerdy vibe, and they schooled me in some basic human interaction.”
Solidarity fist bump. My own experience was somewhat different, but there is the common ground of learning communication skills on a lag, and learning from a niche community of lovely weirdos
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 8 months ago
you don’t fuck with moms spaghetti.
iAvicenna@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Girl tries flirting by biting lip
<thinking…>
I use arch btw
Vanilla_PuddinFudge@infosec.pub 8 months ago
you ever moderated an online forum, big guy? Yeah, I bet you have.
FrederikNJS@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
Upper lip or lower lip?
Agent641@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Her own, or his?
iAvicenna@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Does the distro depend on it
socsa@piefed.social 8 months ago
Sploosh
MintyAnt@lemmy.world 8 months ago
But do you actually use arch?
iAvicenna@lemmy.world 8 months ago
no :( ubuntu or fedora. I am not worthy leaves in shame
90s_hacker@reddthat.com 8 months ago
How are we so sure bro wasn’t just flirting back?
nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 8 months ago
Because he was smashing the burger, not femanon.
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 8 months ago
flirting? at the workplace? at this time and age?
have you all not heard about the drama that is going to happen these days because of “sexual harassment”?
ikidd@lemmy.world 8 months ago
That’s illegal
DrunkAnRoot@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
[deleted]TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 months ago
ty for your service
merc@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
“Touching his food” can run the gamut between:
Take one of his potato chips and eat it
to
Stick my thumb in his soup
If a friend or family member took one of my potato chips and ate it, I’d probably be fine with it. At worst I’d be a little annoyed. If an acquaintance or cow-orker did that it would be a little more strange, but not the end of the world. But, the other end of the spectrum is much weirder.
Grabbing a potato chip, if done carefully, will mean not touching anything else. Any dirt or germs on the toucher’s hands aren’t going to get spread around the rest of the food, but touching a liquid or something with sauce on it is different. IMO, touching someone’s pasta is definitely on the germ-spreading end of the scale.
TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 months ago
I can’t respond to your other comment bc snooggums is banned from my instance
It’s one of those things that works in movies because it’s something you can get away with if you’re incredibly attractive. There’s a whole stock images category involving girls licking their fingers, mostly in a seductive style. But, in the real world, it’s something you do with your husband or long-term partner, not a random cow-orker.
I think this is what people aren’t understanding. Someone who does this repeatedly surely must have learned that it’s okay/works from a history of doing it, so they’re probably very attractive. I’m pretty confident that most normies would react much more playfully/positively than the responses in the comments here if an incredibly attractive person did this to them
michaelmrose@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Attractiveness is both subjective and situational and people are often terrible at judging their subjective attractiveness to particular others.
There are also lots of reasons not to want to be persued starting with being in a relationship
Also peoples attitude towards germs and hygiene varies wildly.
The greatest sin of this comment is to suppose that because someone does something it makes sense even in their own subjective context. People are both weird and stupid.
WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
I disagree, you don’t scratch your own butthole with your tongue unless you’re a cat.
Numuruzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
It’s not weird to touch other people’s food everyone does it just for fun. Go to your neighbor’s house and touch their food and you can laugh together.
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 8 months ago
ngl, I usually touch my own food, not sure how to eat it otherwise
Zron@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I simply unhinge my jaw and let it slide down my throats.
toynbee@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Well, given your username, I’m no longer sure whether I should allow my guts and food to interact.
I’m also curious whether you made a typo and were too stubborn to correct it, whether it was intentional, or whether I’m imagining the whole thing.
Honestly, I have so few people in my life that finding out one (or more) were a figment of imagination is a genuine phobia of mine. I’ve freaked out my wife by debating that there’s no way I can be certain she’s real. (Though the evidence does support it.)
MehBlah@lemmy.world 8 months ago
More fake crap.
kat_angstrom@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Why would anyone lie on the internet?
MehBlah@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Boobies?
TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 months ago
no this is real
MehBlah@lemmy.world 8 months ago
It just needs to be better lies is all I’m sayin.
grue@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Fake: you said yourself that you made it with photoshop
Gay: “Femanons?” Female 4chan users? I don’t think they exist.
abbadon420@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 8 months ago
Only on Lemmy, is one of the options “I use Arch”.
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 8 months ago
[deleted]TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 months ago
ty for your service
DrDystopia@lemy.lol 8 months ago
Poll: VPN user voting is not allowed.
Ok bye.
TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 months ago
Yeah I thought I disabled that, but apparently not. Silly that that seems to be the default
DrDystopia@lemy.lol 8 months ago
Enter my answer “I deserve to be able to opt out of taking this poll” for me pls.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 8 months ago
A story that practically glows in the dark with “That Happened” particles.
Definitely a real event that really happened and not some sort of weird incel power fantasy. Only thing missing was a bit at the end where everyone clapped.
Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
OP has said they made it in Photoshop, Sherlock.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 8 months ago
This is about this
You don’t need photoshop to make a shitpost on 4chan.
jia_tan@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 months ago
I use Debian fyi
marighost@piefed.social 8 months ago
Instead, he smashes my burger to bits without even looking away from his coffee, just stares at me
Without looking away from his coffee
Just stares at mehow he do that
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 8 months ago
She is his coffee
usernamefactory@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
Is this that feminist riddle again?
themeatbridge@lemmy.world 8 months ago
She was lounging in his coffee cup like it was a hot tub.
TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 months ago
She forgot to mention his lazy eye
realitista@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I didn’t have to go past femanon to know that this was fake.
TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 months ago
The correct response is obviously to demand to lick her finger to get your sauce back
PlaidBaron@lemmy.world 8 months ago
ITT: people taking a shitpost from 4chan seriously.
TrickDacy@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Fuck 4chan
themeatbridge@lemmy.world 8 months ago
You can discuss the events of a story, and the relative morality and social etiquette of the characters in it, even if the whole thing is entirely fiction. Functionally, it makes no difference if it really happened or it didn’t. Sometimes that matters, but here is doesn’t. You don’t know these people, you’ll never meet these people, and there’s no real-world effect of discussing this story (except maybe someone learns not to touch somebody else’s food?).
Fuck it, you could be a bot programmed to complain about people taking shitposts seriously. I could be an AI created to respond to your prompts to try to convince you not to complain about fabricated stories. This entire interaction could be four bots engaged in a learning exercise in a simulated online forum. Or maybe it was all a dream the whole time.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 8 months ago
PlaidBaron@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Now thats a good shitpost comment. You get it.
Gold_E_Lox@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
wow! congratulations! you figured out social media is pretty much useless and entertainment is pointless! this guy is smart because he thinks is a worthless endeavour, and i was really starting to base my whole morality system on this shitpost, thanks for steering me in the right direction! :D
TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 months ago
troyunrau@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
This is not flirting. It is socially maladjusted behaviour. Just because it has worked before doesn’t mean it is a good idea.
Pickup artists do all kinds of stupid shit that works that isn’t socially acceptable either.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Anyone who sticks their hands in my food uninvited is not someone I would like a relationship with.
Respect boundaries.
DmMacniel@feddit.org 8 months ago
Soup@lemmy.world 8 months ago
It wasn’t flirting, but this ADHD positive girl I was crushing on(and was crushing on me) once absentmindedly stuck the tip of her finger in a full glass of water in front of her to ask whose it was and I had to desperately fight falling in love right then and there.
Now, that was an accident born of silly brain vs purposefully fucking with someone’s food so I understand the difference, but I really like my story so…
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 8 months ago
and I had to desperately fight falling in love right then and there
but why?
adhocfungus@midwest.social 8 months ago
I’m going to start doing this now. Total power move.
spankmonkey@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Flirty people in movies.
Real people in relationships.
Weirdos who deserve to have their reheated fast food burger smashed.
garbagebagel@lemmy.world 8 months ago
LOL my partner is a germaphobe and would be very upset if I touched his food. I’ll cook it, sure, but I sure as fuck wouldn’t poke his food with my bare hands randomly at dinner.
merc@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
It’s one of those things that works in movies because it’s something you can get away with if you’re incredibly attractive. There’s a whole stock images category involving girls licking their fingers, mostly in a seductive style. But, in the real world, it’s something you do with your husband or long-term partner, not a random cow-orker.
SweetPomegranate@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I could hear this image.
lime@feddit.nu 8 months ago
i only hear the asmr version
spankmonkey@lemmy.world 8 months ago
“In front of my salad!?”
whimsy@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
Fake and gay
SweetPomegranate@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I’m not sure if the guy was trying to protect his virginity, or if he was genuinely bothered by the damn bitch constantly touching his food. I’d be annoyed too if someone kept sticking their hand in my food every single day.
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 8 months ago
I’d be annoyed too if someone kept sticking their hand in my food every single day.
i’d say it depends on how hot they are, honestly
SweetPomegranate@lemmy.world 8 months ago
You mean how hot is the food right?
petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 months ago
Yeah, I met a girl who was 40 once who stuck her fingers in my soup and that was not hot at all because she didn’t say anything about that being in kelvin which really ruined my too-hot-and-spicy ramen but it ended up working out because I actually wanted just-warm-and-spicy ramen anyway.
MITM0@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Deserved, you don’t mess with people’s food PERIOD