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No brainer

⁨498⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Stamets@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/d2addad2-90ad-4385-8729-fa0b24dd6f2d.png

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  • tomi000@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    3 and 7 are pretty OP if used correctly

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    • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Like Wish.com Nightcrawler. You can hide so fucking well, as long as there are a bunch of empty containers around.

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  • Sam_Bass@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Could definitely use free gravel

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  • orenj@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Can run as fast as albert einstein, but don’t actually take the pill. Use it only when you or a loved one is immobilized by old age or injury. Nothing to lose, even if its a bogus ‘0mph, he’s dead’ pill.

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    • Grass@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I was thinking it would be an excellent choice for my wheelchair bound coworker

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      • ulterno@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        If I were to lose my ability to walk, would I choose:

        • ability to maybe walk, maybe like an old man, maybe not
        • ability to teleport along with my stuff, 7" per thought

        On the other hand, maybe I can only teleport once, for when I take the pill. That might end up being pretty useless for this case.

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  • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    1. Sheer horror. You’ll never be able to eat these again.
    2. This has been brought up before. Gravel isn’t cheap. This is basically infinite money.
    3. If used continuously, you’re basically The Flash.
    4. Just a bad idea unless you can put it inside your existing nose for double the sniff-sensitivity.
    5. Okay, that’s just fun.
    6. Again, used continuously, this is the fountain of youth. You’ll still die of old age though.
    7. Only useful under very specific circumstances. Also, define a “container”.
    8. Unless the Khitan civilization knew things we don’t, this isn’t useful at all.
    9. Fast as he is now or when he was alive?
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    • phx@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I’m thinking that #7 might be useful in certain policing or security positions, depending on the definition of empty (there’s always dust and air).

      Got a bunch of containers that need to be inspected? You can cross the ones you can see through off the list.

      Also useful for winning the cup-and-ball game

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      • dev_null@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        It allows you to remotely see anywhere in the world where a transparent container (like a glass) is.

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    • nialv7@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      8, resurrect a dead language will make some linguist overjoyed

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    • rumba@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Sheer horror. You’ll never be able to eat these again.

      I think they’re just going so cold, water please, drowning…kill me…

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    • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Again, used continuously, this is the fountain of youth. You’ll still die of old age though.

      How would that work? “Age” isn’t some inherent property of atoms.

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      • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        The text just says look 10 hours younger. To me, that means un-doing all the apparent signs of aging: superficial stuff. Less wrinkles, fewer sunspots/freckles, hair is back where it used to be, no more cataracts, etc. Meanwhile, your internal organs, bones, and muscles keep going with the usual aging process.

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    • WolfLink@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      5 is awesome. My house will be full of toasters hooked up as switches for things.

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  • lambdabeta@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I feel like everyone is underestimating 5. It’s any toaster. Make a killer robot that happens to have the ability to make toast and you’ve got a remote control death bot.

    I’d make a whole set of devices that happen to also be toasters. Why not add some heating elements and springs to an elevator, a car, a plane?

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    • stiephelando@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Yeah, you could hook up a sensor to detect the toaster coming on and basically control electronics with your mind.

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    • moakley@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      It’s so obviously this or the gravel.

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    • Tetragrade@leminal.space ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Sorry bud, you can only control it to act in its capacity to make toast.

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  • BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    This free gravel, can I summon it whenever and wherever I want, or do I have to wait for it to be delivered? If it’s the latter, I will take Khitan. Resurrecting a dead language sounds fun.

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  • Saithe@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Depending on how fast you can teleport you could move pretty quickly. Even 12 teleports a second gets you 4.5 mph in any direction. Could be useful depending on the cooldown but for any significant speed you’d need to teleport really quickly. 20 teleports a second is almost 8 mph

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    • zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      It does raise the question on if this could be useful in some sort of hand to hand combat situation. What happens if I my first is 6" away from your face and I teleport 7" forward? I guess the same question applies to walls. If I can just teleport through matter, then it’s usefulness is suddenly quite high.

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      • Saithe@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Only if you don’t value your hand. Perhaps you could teleport a hammer into someone’s face

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  • eronth@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    7 has the mild convenience of quickly eliminating any empty containers from search for whatever you’re missing. But really Free Gravel is the winner here.

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    • Fenrisulfir@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      How do we define empty? Is air empty? If yes then at which gas do we delineate empty vs not empty?

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  • moopet@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Even if we decide that the teleport might not get you through doors, if you could spam it faster than (works out maths…) 10 times per second, they you could hover, or really slowly fly (about 0.8 inches per second horizontally)

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  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Are these one time use? Like you gain the ability to talk to oysters forever? Grow a new nose as many times as you want? Or talk to oysters for 5 minutes and one extra nose?

    1. Become a water quality assessor with instant and accurate data on pollutants, if there are invasive species, whether or not there are pearls present, and any other information oysters can offer about the environment.

    2. Instant paving/gravel business with a huge profit margin compared to competitors.

    3. Depends on the locus of movement. If 7” only, like a quarter step in any direction, kinda useless*. If moving your entire body 7” away from it’s previous location, good for theft I guess if the barrier is less than 7” thick.

    *if you can “spam” the 7” movement rapidfire with no speed limit, you can travel as fast as you can wherever you want in a “stuttering” teleport.

    1. Useful to someone disfigured, lost one to skin cancer or other issue.

    2. Depends on what you limit a toaster to and what constitutes control. If you can control any facet of any device that heats the interior for purposes of heating the contents to a specific temperature, then this is really powerful. Engines “toast” fuel. Kilns “toast” everything from carbon fiber to ceramics to tempering glass. The ability to control the specific heating of any material in an enclosed environment would have wide application.

    3. Spam it.

    4. Catching smugglers? If a container that should be empty isn’t, you can’t see in it.

    5. Get your name in the history books as an expert on the peoples and culture surrounding the language.

    6. If you were a paraplegic this would be life-changing.

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    • nieminen@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      The gravel one is gonna have some stupid loophole, like it’s one pebble a day, but infinite and free.

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      • Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Free gravel appears instantaneously at will, but only in the very center of Ohio

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    • Mac@mander.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
      1. I don’t think Mr. Einstein is able to run very fast, atm…
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  • Bubs12@lemmy.cafe ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Gravel can be turned into sand. Sand can be turned into concrete and glass. So this one scales pretty quickly.

    On the other hand, all I have to do is build a single toaster robot that can build other toaster robots and I’m on my way to toaster robot army.

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    • Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Just overload the toasters of your enemies and burn down their houses

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  • Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Toss up between 3 and 7 for me, though the gravel one could have some niche uses.

    TP can be abused pretty easy if there’s no physical impact on my body for doing it repeatedly.

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  • _AutumnMoon_@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Albert Einstein can probably run faster than me honestly so I’m going with that

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    • synapse1278@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      He’s ded tho.

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  • misteloct@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Toaster control for sure. After selling my robot toasters as a cheap way to communicate with satellites, I’ll command an army of them all over the solar system.

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  • hperrin@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    7 would be really useful for those games where you have to find the ball under the cup. You can instantly tell if you’re being swindled, and always win.

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  • sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Teleport 7 inches only because doing so in quick succession could look really funny

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    • Valmond@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Go slim under 7 inches and teleport through very thin walls.

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      • Psionicsickness@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        That’s not very thin walls though. Average walls are 4.5”. Walls with things like plumbing are usually only 6.5”. Teleporting 7 inches would be hella useful.

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  • bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Running as fast as Albert Einstein would be a considerable improvement.

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    • Typhoon@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Einstein can’t run at all. He died years ago.

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      • bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Hey, it’s all relative.

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  • gray@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    7 is actually useful? I don’t understand the debate

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    • Stamets@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      How is seeing inside of an empty container useful? There’s nothing in it

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      • somerandomperson@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Play “Deal or No Deal”

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      • thebustinater@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Could maybe win some money gambling on cup shuffle?

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      • Evotech@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Cuss then you know which ones has stuff

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    • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Most things people consider “empty” are still full of atmospheric gases, dust, etc.

      You could see inside of a sterile container inside of a vacuum chamber.

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      • DarkDarkHouse@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        That container still has space inside of it.

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  • Gurei@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Is that a clean 7 inches, or would teleporting sideways cross over with some space I previously occupied?

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    • Fenrisulfir@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      There’s no cooldown so you can teleport an infinite distance as long as it’s magic Star Trek teleportation and not The Prestige murder based teleportation

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      • merari42@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Star Trek teleportation might also be a bit murdery. You are disassembled to your molecules, sent over in a high energy beam and reassembled. Also there’s a mild risk to end up in an evil mirror universe.

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  • mimic_dev@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    7 inches is a lot. Almost too much you could say. 5 is enough… Right?

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  • Nariom@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    1. breed oysters > profit
    2. sell gravel
    3. still prob useful if you chain teleport real fast?
    4. why
    5. must be a job somewhere for you
    7. can instantly tell if a container isnt empty, work in customs or something?
    8. doctorate in archeology
    9. albert einstein when? now? yikes, when he was young? depends on your relative age and physical form
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    • BootLoop@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Communication doesn’t mean you can breed them. I can communicate with you and someone else but it doesn’t mean that I can convince you to breed.

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      • Nariom@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        No but you could gain a greater understanding of their needs. You can always learn the job on top of that. Oyster probably don’t need much convincing anyway.

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    • Shapillon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      What if you fed the 4rth pill to an oyster thus making it grow a second nose.

      What is its first nose?

      Bonus points if you have a friend that can talk to them in order to know how they feel about it.

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  • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Control toasters, duh. I’m gonna survive the AI revolution

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  • Boo@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    1. Damn you Blutarch!
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  • nialv7@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    1. And use it to settle the great Newcomb’s paradox.
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    • BlueMagma@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      If you look inside (even using magic ability), it will be predicted and then it will be empty. It will be even harder for you not to look.

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      • Jumpingspiderman@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        If it works like that, you would be in huge demand by the bomb squad and for demilitarizing weapons.

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  • CocaineShrimp@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    #7 Can instantly see inside any empty container

    Everyone that watches Love Island and won’t shut up about it are now transparent

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    • hansolo@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Buddhist monk mediating: I am but an empty vessel.

      You: Bro, you had rice for lunch.

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  • SonOfAntenora@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    The seven inches enderman right there is more useful than you think when you can stack the teleports together

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  • Ironfacebuster@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Considering how my driveway gets completely washed away any time it rains, I’m going with #2 no questions asked.

    Don’t even have to read the rest of them, gravel is expensive!

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  • Etterra@discuss.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I’ll take 7 for sure. 2 or 3 depending on how the gravel is delivered and/or if I can chain teleport.

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    • 9point6@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      The empty part is probably more necessary to define.

      You may only be able to see inside empty containers in a vacuum

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      • rockerface@lemmy.cafe ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Or being able to see everything because matter is mostly made of empty space

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    • gedaliyah@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      “Doctor, please help me! I have a terrible pain in my side.”

      “It’s just gas. Trust me.”

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  • Jumpingspiderman@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    2 and 7 of course

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  • assassinatedbyCIA@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I’d use that power to heal from fatal wounds and reverse terminal illnesses.

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    • explodicle@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      That’ll just give you another 10 hours because the doctor will say you look fine.

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      • assassinatedbyCIA@lemmy.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        There’s nothing about not being able to use the power over and over again either immediately after you use it or after a less than 10 hour delay. Just repeatably spam the power to reverse your age.

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