ivanafterall
@ivanafterall@lemmy.world
- Comment on Choose wisely 4 hours ago:
Starting NFL Fullback
- Comment on Stigma or Glory Hole? 6 hours ago:
Stig-mater
Stigmastabata
- Comment on John Wick Hex will be removed from sale on all platforms beginning July 17th, 2025 6 hours ago:
I’d definitely consider John Dick’s Hex
- Comment on It’s the little things 6 hours ago:
I’m also not qualified, but I do wonder whether releasing all that surface tension inside us would alleviate a lot of anxiety. I think yes.
- Comment on [deleted] 1 day ago:
I just realized maybe you meant the relationship bit. I was in my mid-late 20s at the time. Was very religious, had gotten married very young, we moved to D.C. and I took a big-shot Capitol Hill job. Found out wife was cheating and found myself holding 99.99999% of the bag with two kids. While making ~$35k - $40k and working on fucking Capitol Hill/living in D.C.
Thankfully, the religiosity paid off at that point, as a coworker put out word at the church I attended and a very generous couple (mostly the woman) provided me with months of free full-time, in-home child-care. Really incredible and kind, even though I see them as pretty wacky, probably kinda hateful folks these days. Anyway, that bought me enough time to scramble to look at all my options. I didn’t really have any good ones. But I realized if I could scrape enough together for an au pair, it might be barely sustainable. I went through the process and interviewed various au pairs. Settled on a 23 or 24-year-old schoolteacher with a Master’s degree from Ukraine. An absurdly perfect choice to nanny my kids. As I think about it/type about it, it’s just all so absurd, but yeah.
We exchanged e-mails, did Skype calls. Looking back, they were already way too friendly. Again, I was in my late 20’s, literally actively going through divorce and raising my kids solo. She was in her mid-20s, coming to America for the first time. I mean, come on.
Then we hit a snag. After meticulous preparation, filling out/printing/reviewing every document, she traveled the 2-3 hours to Kyiv and met with the immigration official at the American consulate. Denied. Oh shit. I mean, really, oh shit. I’m on borrowed time now, and suddenly we’re just told straight up, “No. Denied.”
I believe we may have appealed once before I ultimately spoke about it with the member of the House of Representatives for whom I worked and by whom I was admittedly rather beloved, for better or worse. One problem being that the more you appeal/are denied, the less likely you are to get approved in the future. So it was all crumbling.
As an aside, my chosen pet issue at the time was Ukraine (this was maybe ~2014 or 2015?). After some research and e-mails and calls on my part, I eventually arranged/my boss agreed to a call with the ambassador to Ukraine to present my case. I used every power at my disposal (for better or worse) and I guess that worked, because she made it through on her next appeal.
Having gone through that trial together. Her being in her mid-20’s. Me being in my late-20’s and literally actively divorcing while raising my kids. She’s stepping in to help, but in America for the first time. I mean, come on. What a joke. BUT I WAS A SAINT. I WAS A FUCKING SAINT. It was a few weeks(?) before anything actually happened and SHE FUCKING STARTED IT. But also it was never entirely conventional, looking back, as I’m pretty sure we finished a bottle of wine and slow-danced her first night there? The timeline is a little fuzzy.
It’s a rollercoaster of a story that sounds potentially gross, potentially made-up, I don’t know. It’s weird to type it out. But that’s the gist of it.
- Comment on [deleted] 1 day ago:
Sure, I actually posted it in response to another comment below:
I’m originally from the southeastern U.S., so…yeah…grew up pretty ignorant. Full-stop. We weren’t superstitious (unless you count faaar-right religious fundamentalism, young-earth creationism, Jack T. Chick, grown men sprinting laps and hollerin’ “in the spirit,” occasionally maybe waving a gun on stage as a sermon illustration, etc…).
Anyway, from my perspective, the greeting/joke was over. We got in the car. Now I find myself with a little bowl of salt in the car. Can’t exactly put it in the cupholder. It was like a tablespoon or two I poured from the container in my kitchen. It was salt. It came from somewhere down there in the earth, it’s not hurting anything. I dumped it. It didn’t even occur to me that someone could be offended. I would never do it, because why would I, but it’s like if I opened a little paper salt packet from McDonald’s a little too forcefully and it spilled and someone was like, “YOU FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER, HOW DARE YOU, DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE UNLEASHED.”
As an aside, once we were romantically involved a little while later, being the romantic that I sometimes ashamedly am, I one day picked some flowers for her on my very nature-y walk home from work. Tiger lillies. The next day, I came home and the whole house smelled like lillies, the windows were open, it was like a movie scene. Then she came up to me bleary-eyed and swollen-faced and sadly explained that lillies happened to be THE thing she was most-allergic to.
One of these days, I’ll figure out what went wrong in that relationship.
- Comment on Rats. 2 days ago:
If only there were some other way to quickly dispose of all this cocaine…
- Comment on As expected every page in the book is blank 2 days ago:
The one where you do a totally horizontal plank, using only your erection for support/as a kickstand, is really bad for your flooring over the long-term, fyi.
- Comment on [deleted] 2 days ago:
I’m originally from the southeastern U.S., so…yeah…grew up pretty ignorant. Full-stop. We weren’t superstitious (unless you count faaar-right religious fundamentalism, young-earth creationism, Jack T. Chick, grown men sprinting laps and hollerin’ “in the spirit,” occasionally maybe waving a gun on stage as a sermon illustration, etc…).
Anyway, from my perspective, the greeting/joke was over. We got in the car. Now I find myself with a little bowl of salt in the car. Can’t exactly put it in the cupholder. It was like a tablespoon or two I poured from the container in my kitchen. It was salt. It came from somewhere down there in the earth, it’s not hurting anything. I dumped it. It didn’t even occur to me that someone could be offended. I would never do it, because why would I, but it’s like if I opened a little paper salt packet from McDonald’s a little too forcefully and it spilled and someone was like, “YOU FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER, HOW DARE YOU, DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE UNLEASHED.”
As an aside, once we were romantically involved a little while later, being the romantic that I sometimes ashamedly am, I one day picked some flowers for her on my very nature-y walk home from work. Tiger lillies. The next day, I came home and the whole house smelled like lillies, the windows were open, it was like a movie scene. Then she came up to me bleary-eyed and swollen faced and had to explain that lillies happened to be THE thing she was most-allergic to.
One of these days, I’ll figure out what went wrong in that relationship.
- Comment on im frend :( 2 days ago:
Fuck Tolga and his “only following orders” bullshit. Tolga made a choice. We all make a choice.
- Comment on im frend :( 2 days ago:
And they…enhance it? I’m an Oxford comma-loving pedant, that can’t be right?
- Comment on [deleted] 2 days ago:
When my ex first arrived in the U.S. (at the time as my au pair, long story), I greeted her with bread and salt, which is a Ukrainian/Slavic custom when welcoming guests. Just a little joke/nice gesture. I had the salt in a little ramekin. When we got in the car, I opened the driver’s side door, and just dumped it all on the ground. Well, she was very superstitious (black cats, broken mirrors, all the classics) and apparently, spilling salt is considered a bad omen. So I assume knowingly dumping it on the ground isn’t great. Then she screamed, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???” and I think said some things in Ukrainian, etc… I froze, apologized, and learned something new.
- Comment on [deleted] 2 days ago:
Pro-tip: when jokingly greeting your Ukrainian friend with bread and salt, DO NOT dump the salt on the ground when you’re finished. It’s specific enough that it probably won’t come up, but just trust me. She will scream at you.
- Comment on Can you see magic eye pictures? 2 days ago:
Thought this might do it for me, but still no.
- Comment on Missed it by that much! 2 days ago:
- Comment on Missed it by that much! 2 days ago:
I felt only slight disappointment initially, but this just ruined my day. OP you need to figure out how rolling back odometers works STAT.
What the fuck have you done.
- Comment on Are you using Lemmy / others to create noise in your life and to replace talking to people irl? 3 days ago:
- Comment on I wonder if the spice girls still get along or if that "friendship never ends" thing was just a lie. 3 days ago:
I feel scandalized.
- Comment on Missouri AG: Any AI That Doesn’t Praise Donald Trump Might Be “Consumer Fraud” (No, Really) 3 days ago:
I understand what you mean and don’t entirely disagree. If you use it like a calculator with information YOU’VE ALREADY ASSEMBLED. If you rely on it to have all information and/or give an accurate rendering of whatever it’s trained on, you’re probably gonna have a bad time. I’m working on a book that includes, in part, information about the Mormons’ history with slavery. If you ask AI, it will sometimes insist they never had slaves, at all. In fact, it will argue with you until you get legitimately pissed. Ask me how I know.
- Comment on Pretty woman stepping on you 4 days ago:
The universe is trying to tell you to watch The Naked Gun.
- Comment on Pretty woman stepping on you 4 days ago:
- Comment on “Donated” plasma today 4 days ago:
I drive Uber and see this shit and so much more all the time. It’s such a bleak lens into how people are being forced to get by (read: just baaaaaarely). It’s really, really wild out there.
- Comment on Pretty woman stepping on you 4 days ago:
I remember waking up to the sound of my cousin playing S&M over at my aunt’s house when I was 13. It was life-changing:
- Comment on Pretty woman stepping on you 4 days ago:
I’m extremely sexual, but I don’t like others touching any of my skin.
- Comment on Pop it in your calendars 4 days ago:
Well, you can’t deny that whatever are still chill, at least. That’s not nothing.
- Comment on I can fix her 5 days ago:
Woo! I win!
P.S. Sorry about your trauma.
- Comment on I can fix her 5 days ago:
They always come back around when you truly don’t give a fuck, so try to get there ASAP. It’s a win-win, in this context.
- Comment on I can fix her 5 days ago:
Have you tried it?
- Comment on I can fix her 5 days ago:
Challenge accepted.
- Comment on Gelatine 5 days ago:
But worms don’t have tendons. OP, can you please update the meme?
