Bamboodpanda
@Bamboodpanda@lemmy.world
- Comment on The joy of quitting a shit job with an asshole boss 10 hours ago:
What you shared lands really close to home for me. I’m right there with you. My ADHD is the “leave‑your‑keys‑in‑the‑fridge, miss‑the‑turn‑you‑take‑every‑day” flavor, and when you layer in a hefty dose of imposter syndrome, it can feel like the whole world sees “irresponsible” when I’m just wrestling with my own wiring.
Over the years I’ve had to build some pretty extreme guardrails to keep myself on track:
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The 15‑minute rule. I aim to arrive everywhere a quarter hour early. It buys me a buffer for the inevitable “where did I put my badge?” scramble and lets me start calm.
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Alarm orchestras. My phone is a symphony of labeled reminders: “Leave NOW,” “Send daily status,” “Prep tomorrow’s kit.” If it dings, I do the thing right then (no bargaining, no “I’ll remember in five”). Future‑me is not a reliable assistant.
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Immediate action. If a task pops into my head and will take less than two minutes, I do it on the spot. That tiny rule has saved me from a mountain of forgotten follow‑ups.
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Radical transparency. This is my most important rule for myself. I tell my team straight up: “ADHD is my software; here’s how I patch the bugs. If you spot a glitch, flag me.” People are surprisingly supportive when they understand the why so I tell everyone.
None of these tricks erase my problems, but they translate good intentions into results the team can feel. And every time a coworker says, “I know I can count on you,” even when I am too harsh in judging myself.
Your story is a powerful reminder that what looks like disrespect can be a neurological hurdle. I hope anyone reading our thread pauses before labeling someone lazy or careless. Sometimes the most respectful thing we can do for ourselves and for each other is to seek understanding, build systems that work for our brains, and keep rooting for one another’s progress.
Thanks again for sharing. You’re not alone, and the fact that you care this much tells me you’re exactly the kind of teammate people want in their corner.
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- Comment on The joy of quitting a shit job with an asshole boss 11 hours ago:
I want to clarify something I’ve been trying to express in this conversation.
I’m not saying anyone owes loyalty, effort, or integrity to a company that doesn’t respect them. If a workplace is unfair or exploitative, people have every right to disengage or walk away. That’s not just valid, it’s necessary.
But that’s not what I’m talking about.
What I’m talking about is you. Who you choose to be, no matter what kind of environment you’re in. Are you on time? Do you follow through on your word? Are you consistent and accountable. Even when no one’s watching?
This isn’t about your boss. This isn’t about your company. This is about whether you want to be the kind of person who can be trusted, counted on, and respected by yourself.
When you live by values like integrity, honesty, and reliability, not because anyone’s rewarding you, but because they reflect who you are, you gain something real. You grow. You get stronger. You carry that into everything else in your life, your relationships, your work, your reputation, your self-worth.
This isn’t submission. This isn’t compliance. You can absolutely reject broken systems while still choosing to live by your own standards. That’s what I mean by self-respect. That’s where the power is.
So when I told my guy, “I’m disappointed,” it wasn’t about control or discipline. It was about hope. I’ve tried to show him what it looks like to show up, not because someone’s cracking a whip, but because you want to be the kind of person who shows up.
I hold him to that standard because I see what’s possible in him and I believe in what those values can unlock for anyone.
This is not about imposing expectations. It’s an invitation. To rise. To grow. To build something in yourself that no one can take away.
And yes, I believe we need more of that in the world. Not because we’re told to, but because we choose to.
- Comment on The joy of quitting a shit job with an asshole boss 13 hours ago:
You’re 100% right that respect should be a two-way street. I said “should” be. It often is not. Especially when it comes to systems like fair compensation, time, and effort. No argument there. If a company or a boss is disrespecting your time and well-being, that needs to be addressed, period.
What I was trying to explore in my story is a different layer. Something personal and internal. Though respect should be a two way street, it is still a street worth walking alone. That even in imperfect systems, even when others don’t “earn” your respect or see your effort, there’s still a kind of power in choosing to show up with integrity. Not because they deserve it, but because you do.
Choosing to be reliable, communicative, and accountable, even when others aren’t, helps shape who you are. It builds character, trustworthiness, and personal dignity. It teaches you to lead yourself. That’s the kind of respect no one can take from you, even when the outer rewards aren’t there yet.
It’s not about obedience. It’s about owning your path.
It transforms your mind and, in turn, your life. It is a path worth walking.
Thanks again for engaging with the nuance. I really value conversations like this.
- Comment on The joy of quitting a shit job with an asshole boss 14 hours ago:
I hear you, and honestly? You’re not wrong. There are too many places where all the talk about “team” ends up being just a way to squeeze more out of people without giving anything back. That kind of exploitation deserves to be called out, and I’m with you there.
In our case, I do think our company tries to be generous in a lot of ways. But no, my team (and myself) don’t get paid more based on performance. So when I talk about respect, reliability, or rising to a challenge, I’m not saying the system rewards that. I’m saying you do.
What I wanted to share was really about a different kind of return on investment: the kind that lives inside you. Growth. Character. Reputation. Confidence. The way you carry yourself. The way people start to trust you without question. All of that sticks with you, no matter where you go or who signs your paycheck.
Being great doesn’t mean being a doormat or ignoring unfairness. It means choosing a higher standard for yourself, even when others haven’t earned it, but because you are worth that standard. This mindset has helped me build a career I’m proud of, even in imperfect systems.
Thanks for the push back. It helped me realize I needed to say this part more clearly.
- Comment on The joy of quitting a shit job with an asshole boss 15 hours ago:
I’ve spent the last year trying to make it work with one of my guys.
At first, I told him the rest of the team was having trouble connecting with him. He would wander off without telling anyone where he was going or what he was doing, which gave the impression that he wasn’t working. I explained that optics matter, because we’re all in this together. If we can’t count on each other, it makes it harder for everyone. He appreciated that conversation, but things didn’t improve.
He continued to show up late or call in sick, often on days when he knew we’d be busiest. I talked to him again about reliability—how it’s the most basic form of respect. Not just for your workplace, but for yourself. When you say you’re going to do something or be somewhere, it’s vital that your word means something. If you can’t be counted on, how can anyone rely on you?
I didn’t just tell him this. I lived it. I showed him with kindness and consistency how important those basic values are.
Last week was the busiest week our team has ever faced. It was also one of the most critical in terms of proving what we could do together. I prepped the team ahead of time and told them how proud I was to step up to the challenge with them.
On the first of the two most important days, he was late. The first 15 minutes were the most crucial of the entire day, and he missed half of them. I wasn’t angry. I handled it myself. But when he arrived, I told him how stressful that time was for me, and I reminded him again how important these two days were. He said he understood. He said he was sorry.
The next morning, I was 15 minutes into busting my ass alone. I texted him: Where are you? Nothing. Radio silence. No reply that day. Not a single call or message.
The next day, he told me he was sick and had a doctor’s note. The note was timestamped 3:45 p.m., and it said he was cleared to return to work that day.
I just stared at it for a moment. I didn’t get angry. I didn’t yell. I just said, “Okay,” and continued working. We worked in silence for most of the day.
Later, he said casually, “I heard you were upset yesterday morning.”
I replied calmly, “I was. Yes. It was stressful.”
He shrugged and said, “Sorry about that.”
I didn’t respond. I just kept working. Then, just before I left, I turned to him and said this in a calm but measured tone:
“Let me clarify something. Yesterday, I was upset because it was stressful. I’m not upset today. I’m disappointed today. I wanted to be able to say to the rest of the team that I could rely on you when it mattered most. But I can’t say that. I can’t defend you to the team when they feel like you leave them to figure it out on their own, because you left me when I told you I needed you the most. I’m not upset. I’m deeply disappointed.”
He tried to defend himself with the doctor’s note, but I raised my hand to stop him. He waited for me to say something else, but I didn’t. I let the silence speak, then walked out.
I’m sharing this because I saw this meme and it made me feel sad and reflect. I know it may be counter to the fun of the meme, but I thought the point was worth sharing.
Sometimes, jobs are crappy. Sometimes you work for people who don’t care but still expect you to. In those cases, I understand the temptation to stop caring or to burn bridges that don’t seem worth crossing.
But here’s my advice:
Respect—not because others have earned it, but because you are worth giving it to.
Hold yourself to a higher standard, not for them, but for you. Elevate yourself because it’s worth doing. Be better to yourself.
And when others who also respect themselves find you, they’ll recognize that quality in you. That’s when you find people worth teaming up with. That’s how you build something greater, something that’s not just productive, but meaningful and fun.
- Comment on A VPN Company Canceled All Lifetime Subscriptions, Claiming It Didn’t Know About Them 3 weeks ago:
Why would anyone be stupid enough to not honor them? Now, even if they backtrack, their name is mud. It’s so stupid.
- Comment on It's a fun new game 1 month ago:
Huh. For some reason all I see is *******.
- Comment on Split Keyboards Are Superior And The Reason I’m The Writer I Am Today. 2 months ago:
- Comment on ^_^ I just think skibidibi sounds neat :3 2 months ago:
I honestly have no idea what any of this means…
- Comment on Meow 2 months ago:
I love that ear fluff!
- Comment on Not real... *for now* 2 months ago:
I would just stop using whatever the service is. For as long as I can that is. Not long before our new dictatorship might force us to watch ads for crucial services.
- Comment on Meow 3 months ago:
I hated cats. Then a cat decided he lived in my house. He changed my life. Now I have another trash cat living with me and [I love them both so much.
- Comment on WWJD 3 months ago:
This sub exists because right-wing spaces like r/Conservative don’t allow open debate. They heavily moderate discussions to remove opposing viewpoints, creating an echo chamber where only their narrative is reinforced. When conservatives complain that they aren’t represented here, it’s worth asking why—perhaps because in their own spaces, dissenting voices are banned, while here, discussion is actually allowed.
- Comment on Ukraine isn’t invited to its own peace talks. History is full of such examples – and the results are devastating 3 months ago:
Ah, the classic approach: dismiss, insult, deflect, and avoid any actual debate. Instead of engaging with the content, you ridicule the tool I used to refine my response—conveniently ignoring that I did my own research before ever consulting it. You also claim to value context while simultaneously insisting that a single sentence in a decades-old essay should be taken as gospel without any consideration for its broader meaning or intent."
“Your ‘fact-checker anecdote’ is particularly amusing, since it ironically proves my point. Context is precisely what separates informed discussion from cherry-picked outrage. But of course, why wrestle with complexity when you can just claim ‘there’s plenty of evidence’ without citing a single source? That’s not wisdom—it’s just lazy.”
"And yes, something does tell me that none of this will matter to you in the slightest. But at least I have the courtesy of engaging with ideas instead of hiding behind sneering dismissals. Enjoy the illusion of superiority—it’s the only argument you seem interested in making.
- Comment on Ukraine isn’t invited to its own peace talks. History is full of such examples – and the results are devastating 3 months ago:
I took the time to look up the Soros essay, identify the quote to gather context, and craft a thoughtful response. GPTs are a tool—some use them to replace thinking, but the wise use them to enhance it. I stand by every word I wrote.
Your response, on the other hand, dismisses an argument you didn’t even bother to engage with. Instead of refuting my points, you crafted a strawman to wave away the discussion entirely. That speaks volumes—not about AI, but about you.
I didn’t use any AI to write this reply. But something tells me that doesn’t matter to you in the slightest.
- Comment on Ukraine isn’t invited to its own peace talks. History is full of such examples – and the results are devastating 3 months ago:
Your claim that Ukrainians are merely “doing the fighting and dying” under US and NATO direction, citing George Soros’s 1993 essay, is both a misinterpretation and a profound insult to the bravery and autonomy of the Ukrainian people.
In the essay, Soros discussed the potential for integrating Eastern European manpower with NATO’s technical capabilities to enhance collective security. This proposal aimed to create a more balanced and cooperative defense structure in the post-Cold War era, not to relegate Eastern Europeans to the role of expendable forces. Soros emphasized the importance of political and economic collaboration to support emerging democracies, with military considerations being just one facet of a comprehensive strategy.
Since Russia’s unprovoked invasion in February 2022, Ukraine has demonstrated remarkable resilience and independence in defending its sovereignty. The Ukrainian government and armed forces have made strategic decisions, leading successful counteroffensives and reclaiming occupied territories. Their determination has not only defied global expectations but has also galvanized international support.
Your remarks diminish the profound sacrifices made by Ukrainian soldiers and civilians. The resilience of Ukrainians is evident not only on the battlefield but also in their daily lives. Civilians have engaged in acts of defiance, from producing essential military supplies to maintaining cultural institutions under siege. To reduce their struggle to mere pawns in a geopolitical game is an affront to their courage and agency.
It is imperative to approach discussions about such critical matters with a well-informed perspective. Recognizing the agency and bravery of the Ukrainian people is not only a matter of accuracy but also of respect. Mischaracterizations not only distort the truth but also unjustly belittle the experiences of those enduring the hardships of war.
All those who defend a free world should acknowledge the undeniable evidence of Ukraine’s sovereign efforts and the extraordinary bravery of its people. Let us honor their sacrifices by portraying their struggle with the dignity and respect it unequivocally deserves.