There's a noticable influx of trans kids in my job. Are there any topics I should avoid or considerations I should take into account when training them?

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Mastersmacks@reddthat.com⁩ to ⁨nostupidquestions@lemmy.world⁩

I’ve got no problem with them, but these are obviously kids who grew up in a different age than me, and it shows, I know what could seem a joke to me could come off different to them. Especially this being In the trades and the type of jokes we make here. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, we’re all trying to just get through the day after all

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andros_rex@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
I’m trans, and have also worked with trans kids. Sometimes outed myself when it was safe - showing young trans men that yes, you can be a man.

It really comes down to “what name and pronouns would you me to call you by?”

If you want to go above and beyond: “would you like me to correct/step in for you if someone calls you by the wrong names/pronouns?” I feel this is a place where adult advocates can have good impact.

“Does your family know/should I use your legal name when talking to your family?”

See the child as a person who deserves dignity and respect, who is in a vulnerable position and does need unconditional support. Which is true for all children. You don’t have to put up a progress flag or wear a rainbow pin - these can certainly be very good things to do - but at the end of the day, just honor the child.

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captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
Call me whatever you want at this point, but if it comes down to “A [type of person] has shown up at my job, what topics should I avoid?” it’s time to start updating the resume.

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- AgedCheddar@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
  Reactions like this do nothing to further anything. Pointing at a post where someone acknowledges their lack of understanding and ignorance, a post where someone is trying to be more open and accepting, and telling them that they are the problem and should give up is as close minded and bigoted as the person you’re making OP out to be
  
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- hightrix@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
  Someone that lacks empathy?
  
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  - captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works ⁨42⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago
    Things I am likely to say to my team at work:
    
    “I emailed you an STL. Please print two of them, and be ready to print 18 more if the customer approves.”
    
    “Put on your safety glasses.”
    
    “The lathe’s coolant pump is not working, I think it may be the contactor. Take a look at it when you first clock in tomorrow and let me know what parts we need if any; I’m going to need it up and running by Thursday.”
    
    “Safety glasses go on the front of your head, not the top.”
    
    “SomeCo has our steel order ready, take the company truck and pick it up. Make sure to get a copy of the P.O.”
    
    “Put. On. Your safety glasses.”
    
    “How’s it coming on those base plates? Can we get started on the brackets yet or are we still waiting?”
    
    “If you get vitreous humor on my drill press, you’re the one that’s gonna clean it up.”
    
    If you can’t handle being spoken to in this manner, you are not going to last long on my team.
    
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DrivebyHaiku@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Hey, Non-binary trans masc person in trades here.

I can tell you how I perceive different types of co-worker if it helps you want to dial in what it’s like on the other side of the experience. There’s layers to the whole situation and as non-binary folks we understand what we are asking for isn’t automatically going to click and requires people to figure us out.

First up : Most of us end of day aren’t going to rock the boat for anything less than fully agregious behaviour so calls to report other people for being mildly offensive are probably not actually going to go anywhere. Most of us are scared of being labelled “a problem” so we just take the hits when they come. If you are a boss and notice a non-binary person sticking closer to specific people and avoiding others there’s a good chance that they’ve found the people who are safe and avoiding ones who aren’t. A great accommodation that can invisibly help is just to recognize this strata and if a task nessesitates putting people together try and pair along these lines. A lot of co-workers wait until other people aren’t around to let their nastier behaviour shine.

Now to co-worker types. Aside from the full on transphobe or problem persons there’s a range of different stages of cool people.

The “I don’t really get it” Co-worker pays lip service to the polite aspects of using pronouns. They are the type to introduce you to others by misgendering you and then flap their hands and go “Oh no sorry ‘they’”. We know they don’t get it or don’t really care. The misgendering still hurts but they are fairly benign. They make these accidents non maliciously and are afforded grace. If they step in it we basically disregard because they aren’t really worth the effort of getting too comfortable around. We make these accommodations for strangers daily. Annoying but nessisary.

The “in training” co-worker is one whom is encountering their very first trans person. They want you to be their Obi wan and their enthusiasm is a bit of a double edged sword at times. It’s tiring to teach people to dance when they keep stepping on your feet but the job needs doing. Some of us veiw this as our own brand of service to the cause of normalizing ourselves more widely. Some of us just don’t want to be bothered. Either way, just wanting to learn is heaps better than ambivalence. If you fuck up something, don’t make a big deal about it. It’s not that you’re a terrible person and should have known better. Our stuff takes practice and we know it’s not intuitive.

The “A little too up in our shit” co-worker is excited to know the real you but looks at you as a beautiful creature in need of preservation. They might seek to advocate on your behalf or behind your back but the attempt is clumsy and often at odds with a non-binary person’s desire to just get through the workday as a regular human and not make waves. Good enthusiasm sure, we’re probably friends but for the love of God we’re adults and we can sort out our own shit if need be.

The “Understands the Assignment” co-worker is just comfortable to be around. They don’t have to be the most tuned in to all the nuance about our specific needs in ways we require more out of partners, family and friends but they treat our basic requirements as no big deal, maybe they occasionally ask questions to check in if they catch us struggling or reacting but aren’t going to narc to the boss on our behalf. They either avoid all stereotypes associated with sex or in the case of trans mascs/trans femmes they treat us like one of the boys/girls. Gold standard.

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vga@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
Trans people are weird, but so is everyone else. So treat them like every other weird person.

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- NikkiDimes@lemmy.world ⁨21⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago
  Ehhhhhh, I get what you’re trying to say, but also, yikes?
  
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MITM0@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Just be yourself & be open. There’ll always be troublemakers on all sides

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zebidiah@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
You’re not a dick for getting someone’s pronouns wrong… You’re a dick if you intentionally and continuously misgender them on purpose.

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- chiliedogg@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  I still mess up my sister’s spouse. They’re NB, but kept their name, hobbies, etc. To me, they’re the exact same awesome person they’ve always been, so I still screw up and call them by male pronouns.
  
  I 100% support them, but I screw up and it feels bad.
  
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- faintwhenfree@lemmus.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Well, I have had two people tell me very rudely that I’m an asshole because I got their pronoun wrong because they had it at the start of the presentation somewhere. And I also have had dozens more who corrected me a couple of times and then I’d just remember the right pronouns.
  
  Assholes are assholes magrinalized or not.
  
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- thiseggowaffles@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Exactly. Sure it sucks when it happens by accident, but it’s to be expected to some extent. It’s when someone is doing it intentionally to fuck with you that it really gets under your skin. It’s disrespectful.
  
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IndustryStandard@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
If you call somebody by their name, you can never mess up their gender.

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- Madison420@lemmy.world ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Ok Alex, Shelby, Erin. Unless you mean like if you ignore the entire concept and rely solely on their name with no formalities.
  
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  - TheRedSpade@lemmy.world ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    I think they meant to just avoid using pronouns.
    
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captainlezbian@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
As a trans woman who routinely has to deal with “shop talk” my advice is that since theyre young explain the way that it works to them and let them know how to speak up when shit gets uncomfortable.

Cleaning it up and getting professional and polite would theoretically be great, but the fact is that their career will involve this and if everyone has to clean up their language resentment will build and people will just exclude them. Meanwhile everyone should feel comfortable saying “too far” or “hey you’re hitting a sore spot” or even “not cool”.

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- Krudler@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
  This is really truly the best advice.
  
  I am a straight male. But by definition I’m gender fluid. I have endured through my life no end of abuse for this, and it’s nothing close to what my trans partners in the past have experienced.
  
  But in the end, it comes down to having a spine and being able to assert yourself.
  
  Especially in trades, there is no end of ball-breaking and risque dialogue. If you are not able to defend yourself or say okay dude the joking has gone far enough, you are not going to have a happy life and you need to find something else to do to make money.
  
  If we live in the online reality where “ideal” behavior is constantly advocated and expected, we are never going to connect to the truth of life which is that bullshit is everywhere and we have to learn to stand up to it and flow with it.
  
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Witchfire@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Im trans with over 10 years of experience

–

There’s really not a lot to it. Respect their chosen names and pronouns, and don’t ask them random questions about being trans unless they’re open to it. Listen when/if they get close enough to talk about their experiences, and reassure them that this is a safe space. Don’t impose gender norms on them.

Otherwise, we’re just like everyone else.

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- kralk@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  
  Im trans with over 10 years of experience in the industry
  
  The… trans industry? How much does it pay?
  
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  - pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Lol gonna get me a job forcefemming people
    
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  - reptar@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    And in what currency?
    
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  - Witchfire@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Depends on who you ask
    
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some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Good on ya for making an effort and being open to learning. I would buy you a beer if I could.

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- NikkiDimes@lemmy.world ⁨17⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago
  I’d be fine with you buying me a beer in their place.
  
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hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Well, one thing I know is: make sure you don’t out them. If a kid has transphobic parents, you really don’t want to accidentally inform them their kid is trans.

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- Mastersmacks@reddthat.com ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  I mean I just stay out of peoples personal lives as a principal
  
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  - LadyButterfly@lazysoci.al ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Great start. It also goes for work. Even if they’re open about it, just don’t allow comment on it at all at work. People quite often say “so there’s a lad working on X team and he’s trans but you’d never know” or needlessly say “oh yeah Katie, she’s trans”. Shut that down RUTHLESSLY around you unless the trans person says not to
    
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givesomefucks@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Treat them like anyone else by default and make accommodations if you need to and it’s reasonable.

You’re asking with good intentions, but the best answer for any group will always be that. Shit, not even by groups. On a human by human basis just do that, there’s a crazy amount of human variation and it’s not always obvious.

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pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Honestly, just tell them to let you know, in private if they feel it necessary, if you make them uncomfortable. In general, jokes about people being trans/gendernonconforming are ok, as long as it’s not the one “joke” – identifying as an attack helicopter/dragon/ridiculous things. Pretty much just don’t make fun of them for being trans, but it’s fine finding humor about their transition, if it makes sense. It’s generally pretty easy to tell when someone has a problem with you being trans and is going to be a dick to you under the veil of humor, and when someone is joking around with you. Just make sure they know to let you know if you make them uncomfortable, and tey not to be a dick. The fact that you’re asking makes me think pretty much anything you’d consider saying is forgivable at worst.

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- Yermaw@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  I want to live in the timeline where a super-scientist gets sick of the attack helicopter meme and makes “attack helicopter reassignment surgery” possible and available.
  
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  - Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago
    If one of my besties thought they could live their best life as a helicopter I would absolutely support them.
    
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  - andros_rex@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
    There was a short story written along those lines, but folks assumed it was a joke/troll and bullied the person off the internet.
    
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Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I can’t speak for trans people, but i would expect that the best course of action is to be yourself and dont mock anyone. You can rib and have a laugh, but dont open with a whole script of trans jokes. Get to k ow them, like you would with anyone and learn the boundaries naturally. If you think of them as different, you will be on edge the whole time and are more likely to mess up.

If you make any mistakes, just be sure to apologise, and i am sure any of them would understand. Ultimately, as far as i understand it, trans people just want to be accepted and allowed to be them selves and be a part of society. The only way that happens is if we dont treat them differently, whether thans positively or negatively.

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cattywampas@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
First of all, good for you for asking the question. I think many people are afraid to ask these things even if they want to be respectful and inclusive for fear of coming off as backward or ignorant, but I think asking questions in good faith shows that we’re willing to listen and learn.

But most importantly, just treat them with the same respect you’d treat anyone else! Gender identity isn’t really that big of a deal, and after you get to know some trans folks you’ll come to that realization quickly that they’re just regular people!

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Pudutr0n@feddit.cl ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
This is not a comprehensive list, but you should probably avoid talking about your sex life.

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- proper@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  good advice for any workplace
  
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  - meco03211@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    But I’m a hooker
    
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  - Pudutr0n@feddit.cl ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Yes.
    
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- PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  But how can I impress people with my competitive qualities? I had fourteen sex last night, and before that I did four sets of three sex at a time.
  
  I’m even the speedruns any% TAS WR holder at 3.19 seconds.
  
  Do my colleagues not need to know about this???
  
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  - Pudutr0n@feddit.cl ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    You can mention it by asking about office etiquette on Lemmy.
    
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- felbane@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  oh hi mark
  
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Artisian@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
If you wanna go the extra mile, skimming an ally guide for 10 minutes, looking up some terminology and concepts, would reduce awkwardness by a fair bit. I certainly would have avoided a half dozen missteps if I did some reading.

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- Mastersmacks@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  This is super helpful, thank you!
  
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ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
I’m trans. To me the most important thing about jokes in the workplace is when a cis person says something that I can twist into being a deadpan trans joke (of varying riskiness depending on the group). Either the cis person will softlock while trying to determine the ethics of laughing or they’ll go for it and potentially apologize. It’s always a win in my book though

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FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
If avoid any and all controversial topics and just keep things purely professional.

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Libra@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Respect them for who they are, and listen to them if they tell you you’re fucking it up, just like you would with anyone else. It’s almost as if trans people are just people. ;)

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HappyTimeHarry@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Im curious what could come off as a joke to you but would offend a trans person and not other (similarly aged) people.

If your joke might be offensive to anyone, its probably best to save it for outside of the workplace if you share it at all.

Not saying dont make any jokes, just that your jokes shouldn’t be referencing someones gender or appearance or at the expense of someone else in general.

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- stephen01king@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Its impossible to know if your joke might be offensive to others when you live different lifestyles.
  
  It’s like telling people not to serve food that might be prohibited by the religion of one of their dinner guests when they have never interacted with the religion before.
  
  What OP does here is trying to educate himself, which is the right move, in my opinion.
  
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- Septimaeus@infosec.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  I get where you’re coming from, and we’ve all seen bad faith “advice” seeking (sea lioning), but also most of us have interacted with people who are well-meaning yet know they have tons of learned behaviors they’ve never needed to question.
  
  For example, a friend had a boss in a male-dominated industry (construction) who, at the end of a client lunch with several cis men, bid them farewell with “bye ladies.” When they were back in the car she called him out on it “is ‘ladies’ supposed to imply something?” and he immediately admitted “dammit I know. I’m sorry.”
  
  She knew he knew as he said it that it wasn’t the right thing and just hadn’t considered it before, but it took situations like that to make him consider it in advance. And it sounds like he did. She said he began to make eye contact to check his wording in meetings, which she took to indicate it being present in his mind, that he was actually trying.
  
  I’m just saying asking and trying to consider little things in advance is ally behavior and should be encouraged unless it’s obviously in bad faith.
  
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  - HappyTimeHarry@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    I didnt think the poster was in bad faith, i was just genuinely curious as im not really around environments like that these days so i kind of assumed it would be something sexist or creepy.
    
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SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
“I’m not sure I understand, but am willing to have an open mind and listen and understand where you’re coming from. If you’ll have patience to explain to me, I’d be willing to learn with humility and humanity and do my best to be a better person”

There. Was that at hard?

Admit ignorance, commit to being a good person. It’s not that hard.

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- ayyy@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  What’s with the unwarranted condescension?
  
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  - SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    It’s not condescension. That’s quite literally the point. So many people just refuse to have some humility. This is literally the stance you take. You don’t have to be tough, you aren’t showing off to anybody. If that’s really a problem, then you need to reassess how you navigate the world. You genuinely do this to some trans kids, and they’ll love you and be more than willing to help you understand because basically nobody ever cares about them. You’d make their year. But don’t do it just to do it, actually embody this humility. It’ll be weird at first, but you might even make a friend.
    
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- HiTekRedNek@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  
  There. Was that at hard?
  
  It’s apparently easier than you not being a jackass, at least.
  
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  - SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Edited. My intent is not to be a jackass, but to point out that SO many people use any excuse to not just bridge the gap and try to understand other people.
    
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- rbesfe@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  No one talks like this
  
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  - SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Do you mean no one talks like this in your industry or company? You could always be a vanguard and set the tone. Also you don’t have to say exactly that, word for word. My point is to just level with them, admit you don’t really know, and then to listen and try to understand their story a bit. Even the notion in dude-speak or whatever will be heard loud and clear and you’ll make their day, and everybody will be happier for it.
    
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- Allero@lemmy.today ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  I do not agree with an angry mob downvoting you, but I’ll notice this is probably not the context to put this in.
  
  This looks more like a parent figuring out about their kids being trans. In the OP’s context, everyone is on an even ground.
  
  Here, it is mostly important to use their preferred names/pronouns and consult on the terms as necessary.
  
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- thermal_shock@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  No you’re making it sound like they’re going to be a problem right from the start and you’re willing to understand
  
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  - SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Is “they” op or the trans kid?
    
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Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Your job is to train them. They’re people. You’re a person. Just go with that

I think if you love as a person them you’ll be good.

That’s what I do and it’s worked out pretty great!

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shaggyb@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
If you struggle with pronouns, apologize casually when the pronouns come up.

As a fellow old, the kids don’t seem to necessarily get it that my brain is wired pretty hard not to change pronouns, but they do seem to appreciate the effort and the discussion that it’s a challenge rather than just fucking it up with no explanation.

Otherwise, be mindful that they take a lot of shit for parts of themselves that are background attributes for the rest of us. They can get pretty tired of it. A friendly person who regards them as just people may be the best thing they can get from anyone.

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Taleya@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Pick the one that’s been working there longest and ask them these questions. Check in they feel ok with how the workplace is trucking

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southsamurai@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Generally, keep humor work related, and it’ll be fine no matter who it is. Well, there’s always that asshole that thinks you have to be a robot at work, but with that sort, it doesn’t matter anyway.

Beyond that, either stay neutral with pronouns, or use those that a person introduces.

I promise you, just those two things are going to go a long way in establishing respect and camaraderie.

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- sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Humor is the big one. I would start thinking about the jokes that co-workers make, and if everybody would think they’re funny. Not just trans folks, but any kind of joke that has a butt of the joke or a stereotype might be good to start getting away from.
  
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  - southsamurai@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Agreed completely :)
    
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FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Treat them like any other person. Their gender/identity should have absolutely zero impact on the ability to do their job. So you don’t even need to ask this question. If you feel like you’re walking on eggshells and scared of bringing up an offensive topic, then that’s an issue with you, not with them. There’s nothing that you say that should be offending them since it’s absolutely irrelevant to work.

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- JeSuisUnHombre@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  I think some politics is healthy to talk about in certain work situations. Definitely not the red vs blue tribal nonsense, but discussing and understanding material conditions
  
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  - FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    The only politics that should be discussed at work are policies that directly impact the business. For example, company has many conversations and meetings around impacts from Trump’s tariffs. No one gives an opinion on what their politics are. Not a single one. We discuss the impact on ths business and how we can mitigate them. It ends there.
    
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- howrar@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  When someone starts complaining about what bathroom everyone is using, you can’t just ignore it and hope it goes away. It’s your job as their superior to address these issues.
  
  Similarly,
  
  Their gender/identity should have absolutely zero impact on the ability to do their job.
  
  Making this stance clear requires talking about gender identity and politics.
  
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  - FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    I think you’re talking about a completely different situation. All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t talk politics at work. You’re talking about someone creating a disturbance and making people uncomfortable. Obviously the company would want to take care of that. That’s a completely different situation.
    
    I don’t understand your second point about having a conversation about gender identity. What do you mean? I don’t see how that applies to my reply.
    
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Nikls94@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Since there already are a lot of good answers, do it like in Full Metal Jacket “I don’t look down on you if you’re x, y, z or something - you’re all equally worthless”

m.youtube.com/watch?v=tHxf17yJsKs&pp=ygUiZHJpbGwg…

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- MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Full metal jacket is a fantastic movie, but not really an example of inclusivity. A later line goes:
  
  “Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy, and you don’t look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?
  
  Sir, no, sir!
  
  Are you a peter puffer?
  
  Sir, no, sir!
  
  I bet you’re the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I’ll be watching you!”
  
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  - Nikls94@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    m.youtube.com/watch?v=DgpTHwrH7bA&pp=ygUdRnVsbCBt…
    
    I don’t know man, that last line feels like an insult tailored specifically to harass a gay person in the way that they specifically are an asshole.
    
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  - offspec@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Honestly I’m just glad people are calling out selfish lovers ffs
    
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termaxima@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
The thing most people get wrong is mentioning someone’s assigned gender (the one they were supposed to have) instead of the one they actually are. Being reminded constantly of the one thing you absolutely don’t want to be is really disheartening, even when it’s not done on purpose.

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- Randomocity@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  It’s minor but I probably wouldn’t say supposed to have sounds like they are wrong
  
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  - Rentlar@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Your comment highlights one of the difficulties I find with going between treating someone exactly as you would anyone else, while also dealing with particular sensitivities or sensibilities of that person. Even trying to describe how to be less offensive, includes wording that can sound offensive to some, justifiably so based on experience.
    
    But all in all, I think most people will recognize good faith efforts and accept quick apologies and corrections when we make mistakes. We’re not perfect.
    
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  - termaxima@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    I edited it to “presumed to have at birth”.
    
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jawa22@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Just treat them with respect like anyone else. There are 3 topics to avoid in any work place for anyone: religion, politics, and sex life. That’s just a good general rule for all forced mixed company situations.

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