southsamurai
@southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
- Comment on Can it take months to get over being laid off? 10 hours ago:
A lot of the time, we have a lot of our identity kit tied into our work. Sometimes that also means to specific jobs/employers.
Losing that for any reason can be anything from a mild annoyance to fully traumatic. And unexpected job loss not only affects one’s self view and sense of purpose, it’s a threat to stability and survival.
So, yeah, it can take years to move past.
It’s a form of grief, though that isn’t always easy to understand, and how intense that grief is is variable even for one person in specific. But it’s not at all unusual for someone quitting a job, in a planned way, to experience loss emotionally. When the loss is involuntary, that stack, then it being unexpected stacks higher. A long job hunt after adds more to the pile.
With anxiety already part of your existence, that grief is prone to hitting harder as well as deeper.
It looks like your grief has turned into depression as well. That drained, empty feeling is your brain and mind saying it/they have hit a limit to how much they can process.
I’m going to echo the suggestion that some talk therapy would be beneficial. Processing such events in life can be difficult to do alone because it’s so hard to see things culturally clearly from the inside.
Don’t think you’re alone in what you’re experiencing. It’s a very common thing to go through.
- Comment on Mark Zuckerberg Already Knows Your Life. Now He Wants His AI to Run It 12 hours ago:
Yeah, well, I want to kick him in the nuts
- Comment on Who discovered/"invented" fire? 12 hours ago:
My mix tape
- Comment on What do you call your mom (Or moms what do your kids call you) 2 days ago:
Usually, just mama. There’s a few nickname alternates that have piled up over the years, but mama sticks for whatever reason. She usually prefers it as well, so that works.
Strangely, my dad has two. Daddy and papa. I use them interchangeably, my sister sticks with daddy.
My kid calls their mom mommy or mom usually. Mommy when they’re tired for sure though lol.
- Comment on If we humans have a whole range of microbial life living on our skin, do other animals have their own similar micro fauna covering them? 6 days ago:
Aight, not a biologist, just an interested bystander.
But, yeah, everything alive has their microbiome. There’s an assortment of standard ones that are everywhere on earth, but there’s also some regional, and species specific types.
Iirc, sloths have a variety of algae that’s unique to them, or it may be that it’s a variant of a species. Something like that, but the point is that sloths have a biome adapted to them.
Going back to my disclaimer again, I believe that there’s also a fairly species related mixture of bacteria and fungi. Not accurate numbers, but something like 50% yeast, 25%staph, 25%lactobacilii as an example. If that were our mix, a gorilla might be 50/20/30 instead. The different conditions on the skin and fur/hair mean different types of microbes will do better or worse in a given climate with given environmental conditions. Again, totally armchair on this.
But the mixes aren’t static. All those microbes are competing. As conditions shift, so does the prevalence of one or some of them. That’s how yeast infections usually occur. Something happens to change the strength of other microbes and the yeast goes crazy taking over
- Comment on With all the animals that die in the sea, is it possible they get pickled in there? 1 week ago:
Ehhh, the big factor is that a pickling brine is controlled and small.
You don’t start out with an entire ecosystem of bacteria, fungi, scavengers, and the wide ranging temperatures that exist in an ocean.
Secondary to that, you tend to be dealing with cuts of meat when pickling, not entire bodies.
See, part of what causes decomposition are the enzymes released as individual cells die, and those produced by the bacteria already in the body.
When we slaughter an animal, it doesn’t just get thrown in brine whole. If you did, it would rot from the inside, no matter what the outside brine was like.
Instead, the carcass is drained of blood, organs are removed, and the meat will typically be kept very cool during transport and storage. When you put that into the brine, you’re severely limiting what bacteria are present in the first place. The brine will almost always be made with processed water from a tap, or from a known clean source like wells or springs. So, again, you have a very restricted range of bacteria.
The salt then limits them more. So you’ll lack the bacteria that thrive in salty conditions in the ocean, and only those in the air and fresh water even have a chance to eat the meat before salt kills off the ones that won’t ferment or otherwise preserve foods, including meats.
But! Deep sea conditions are very cold, and there has been footage of scavengers down there eating very well preserved carcasses. Some of that meat may well have pickled to some degree, as some of the fermentation bacteria can handle cold.
So, what it amounts to is that pickling isn’t purely done by the action off salt on the food. Brine pickling is essentially sourdough for meats and veggies. You grow bacteria that prevent the food from going bad in a dangerous way, which leaves you with something that will stay edible much longer. That’s kinda over simplified, but I think it’s good enough for this
- Comment on Why does good faith matter ? 1 week ago:
It only matters insofar as time invested.
If someone is just fucking around, trolling, baiting, or deliberately trying to spread some kind of propaganda in the guise of “just talking”, it’s annoying as fuck to spend fifteen minutes writing up a considered and meaningful comment. Sometimes it’s worth it anyway, if only to leave it for anyone coming along later, but it’s still a giant waste of effort that could could have been spent on someone or something genuine.
That doesn’t include someone playing devil’s advocate though. That’s fine, though it’s good manners to say so up front.
The line can be a little blurry at times, obviously. Some folks just don’t engage with others well. But most of the time, it’s fairly obvious within one or two exchanges that someone is fucking with you, or they’re just really bad at engagement and discussion.
- Comment on Should I make my game top down or side scrolling? 1 week ago:
Side scroll for pc, top down for mobile.
That’s how I prefer things
- Comment on What is with the obsession with gender neutral language on relationship topics ? 1 week ago:
You’re asking a pretty specific question, but your title looks like trolling. I’m starting with that because people tend to respond emotionally to the first things they read, and it means you aren’t getting solid answers.
Someone else already explained that reddit policies drove that rule, and that’s as much as anyone really knows.
At least, there was a wave of changes like that one, all around the same time, and the few mods that have said anything about it off of reddit have cited that as their reason mostly.
But there are a few that decided to take it as an opportunity to blunt the edge of gendered language in general. Afaik that sub hasn’t had anyone say that, but you did ask about reddit in general as well.
Expanding beyond that, and I want to emphasize that this is not the same thing as above, it’s tangential and here only for background; there are reasons to reduce gendered language overall. While it isn’t really going to totally change English where nobody uses gendered terms at all, reducing needlessly gendered language when speaking about people rather than men or women is an option that would help those among us that don’t fit gender expectations in one way or another. So (again, this is tangential) if you’re seeing it in other places, chances are that it’s intended to meet that concept.
With that, responding solely to your title, I’m not seeing a trend of obsession with it, even among people that are proponents of degendering language. It’s a pretty niche movement, and even the more dedicated proponents know that it isn’t something that’s going to happen just by applying rules to forums.
- Comment on If you were (falsely) accused of murder, but you have records of your phone at home with youtube videos being played, can you submit those records as a sort of Alibi to exonerate you? 1 week ago:
Depends on how bad the cops want to pin it on you.
If they’re on your ass hard, they’ll ignore exculpatory evidence. Since only YouTube playing isn’t concrete enough to guarantee much of anything about where you were, it’s definitely not going to satisfy them without more.
Even the phone itself being in you home the entire time isn’t definitive proof you were there.
There’s not even a guarantee you could establish reasonable doubt with every record of your phone being available, so you can’t pin your hopes on a jury either.
Hell, you could be on a call from a landline, and that isn’t sure fire proof you were at home. It’s better than a cell call, but there’s ways to fake being at home over landline if someone is determined enough.
It isn’t impossible though. You get the right investigators, they verify that your device was at home, and everything else is consistent with you being there, you could get bumped way down the list for their focus. Mind you, if every other possible suspect is then cleared, they’ll come back to you.
- Comment on I'm not okay. 1 week ago:
I’ve been so happy to see them in our yard this year. Enough so that I’ve stopped clearing brush just in case that’s why they’re here in such numbers. I haven’t seen them like this in a decade or more.
- Comment on Why is the progress pride flag so poorly designed (especially the intersex progress pride flag)? Will it be redesigned? 1 week ago:
I doubt it’ll ever be redesigned.
The reason it’s badly designed as is, is that people wanted specific inclusion into the primary symbol. There’s really no way to change a rainbow; it’s the standard spectrum of visible light being used as a symbol of everyone in their diversity being part of a group.
To be any more inclusive, you have to put things on top of the already inclusive rainbow. A corner piece or an inset is the only way to do that that isn’t horrible looking no matter what it is.
The chevrons from the side are at least visually balanced, though not well chosen colorwise. Then again, the representative colors weren’t chosen with being added to a flag in the first place.
Once you start changing an established symbol rather than just coming up with a new one, design goes out the window. It’s no longer cohesive because it can’t be. It’s like the difference between someone planning a tattoo that covers their arm, and someone getting a few dozen tattoos on their arm. Shoving things together without a plan ahead of time is airways going to be less visually pleasing.
But, visual pleasance isn’t what the flag is for, so maybe it’s more effective than something planned from the beginning. I dunno, but the fact that it isn’t “just” a rainbow does mean you can’t mistake it for someone liking rainbows in general, so that could be a benefit of that change.
I don’t agree that the original rainbow flag has too many colors though. If you don’t have the standard color spectrum there, it isn’t a rainbow to most people’s minds, so it would be worse design. The standard ROYGBV is standard for a pigment rainbow for a good reason.
- Comment on Is it normal that my world views, opinions of myself, and mood changes extremely rapidly (within seconds/minutes) several times per day? 1 week ago:
Well, the degree and severity of what you’re describing isn’t what most people experience, and it seems like it is at an unhealthy degree of frequency and severity.
I would say that anyone experiencing that kind of inner turmoil would benefit from evaluation and treatment. Trying to diagnose someone online is a sucker’s bet even if you’re a qualified professional, and I seriously doubt you’re going to find one of those here on lemmy randomly. But, yeah, if a family member or friend out here in meatspace told me they were experiencing that, I’d be helping them find either a psychiatrist or other mental health provider sooner rather than later.
Most people do experience at least occasional intrusive thoughts, but not to that level. It’s very good that you recognize it’s an inner voice rather than a separate source though. It does tend to mean you’ll respond well to one or more of the various treatment options, which will depend in exactly what the root cause is. Likely, there would be a combination of medications and talk therapy of some variation or another.
And, I suspect that even though most people need to try a few meds before they find the best options, that you will likely get relief quickly once that happens. So you’ll be able to approach other treatments and benefit from them quickly as well.
- Comment on what something can I add to my evening tea to die painlessly? 1 week ago:
Being real, there’s not much in the way of easy to get things that are painless, even if they’re fast. Such options have been legislated away. Others have been limited by additions that make them difficult or impossible to take in quantity.
So you really can’t rely on anything you’re likely to have available without also having the knowledge to change them into a form that removes those barriers. And, if you had that already, you wouldn’t be here asking this.
Now, I’m not giving anyone instructions on how to off themselves. It’s illegal in enough places there’s no way I’m risking that for a total stranger.
What I can say is that the things you’ve listed here either wouldn’t work at all, would be painful, or won’t work the way you want.
You’ll have to do your own research on this kind of thing. Nobody that would give you advice in the open could be trusted to give you good advice. I’m not even talking about someone fucking with you, it’s just that it’s kinda specialized knowledge in terms of knowing what to do to achieve the goal of a fast and painless death that will also not fuck you up if it fails.
Like, there’s plenty of stuff that’s fast, plenty that’s painless (or so fast that the pain isn’t a factor), but damn near everything that’s going to be available to the average Joe is going to have a chance of failure. Most of those will fuck up your brain or body, and you’ll be even worse off than before.
So you have to independently verify shit. Even someone well meaning may not have awareness of possible outcomes. Even someone that’s 100% behind right to death can still be wrong in their knowledge.
- Comment on Celebrate my cake day 1 week ago:
1337 comments?
You are truly uber
- Comment on Button fly's 1 week ago:
A button fly’s what?
- Comment on Are there Designs for Kiddie Pool Water Filters? 2 weeks ago:
I mean, a pond filter and pump will do the job fine. Wouldn’t even need chlorination tbh. If it stays running at a high enough volume, nothing harmful is going to set up shop before you’d need to replace the water to begin with. It isn’t impossible for a nasty to build up, but the risk is really low once you’re turning a small volume of water over fast.
There’s online calculators for water turnover rates. Plug in the volume of your pool + a little extra for the system, shoot for a 4-6 x a day minimum, and afaik, you won’t even have mosquito larvae.
But, being real, you’re going to be losing a ton of water from splashing and evaporation anyway, so filtering is a lot of expense for something that’s likely going to be used maybe a couple hours a day at most. You’ll have to have that pump running 24/7. In a small system like that, you’ll also be doubling the amount of work.
I’d just dump it into the barrel as is once it gets low and dirty, chlorinate that, then filter for particulates as you go, moving it back and forth to the pool however. It’ll cost way less, and do the same job.
- Comment on Google is intentionally throttling YouTube videos, slowing down users with ad blockers 2 weeks ago:
Did you comment in the wrong place?
Your comment is talking about resolution, and the post is about YouTube throttling speeds, not resolution of videos.
I suspect you were trying to respond to a comment instead of making your own top level comment, though I’m not certain.
In any case, if the comment is in the wrong place, now you know. If it isn’t, well, it may help to know that it’s out of place thematically.
- Comment on Dear Kevin 2 weeks ago:
Sure, just tag “and subphylum, subclass, superorder, suborder” to the end, so that it’s ASSSS
And you know everyone wants and ASSSS orgy
- Comment on Why are ghosts never racist? 2 weeks ago:
Well, I’m not going to play the “it depends on the writer” card.
But it kinda does apply, even among people conveying their real life experiences. And, to forestall arguments, it doesn’t matter if it is objectively real or not, assuming they aren’t lying, they’re relating their lived experience. Whether that is a delusion or hallucination is irrelevant to this matter.
See, if you start off with the assumption that ghosts either exist, or are a form of shared delusion, then some things can be taken from that.
First, that anyone seeing a ghost is a minority because seeing them isn’t a common occurrence. Second, that regardless of anything else, the first ghost seen isn’t random. Third, that if a ghost can communicate at all (which is not a part of all reports about ghosts), it has limited time to do so.
With those probabilities in mind, if you see a ghost, chances are that it is there for a reason, that you seeing it is for a reason, and that it has to use its time with you to achieve a very specific goal.
Why would the racist ghosts start off saying “now, I’m racist, but hear me out”?
It’s that simple. Unless a ghost is haunting only a given grouping of people, there’s no benefit to expressing their racism at all. If they are haunting a race, then there’s still no need to outright say it; they’re acting on their racism and don’t care if anyone understands their motivations.
- Comment on Why is there such a negative connotation with the poos of horses, bulls, and bats? 2 weeks ago:
It isn’t just those, but horses and bulls have the biggest poops most people will ever see. So using them as reference for giant piles of unpleasant things makes sense.
Now, batshit? For one, have you ever been near where bats stay? The smell is so fucking intense.
But, bats are also known to flit around in a way that’s erratic when you rarely see their entire flight path. So they have a reputation for being less predictable, or a little crazy. At least that’s my understanding of how bats got referenced for someone being easily distracted, weird, or crazy. You know, “that old lady is a little batty, so don’t be surprised if she forgets to pay you”, or “that dude has bats in his belfry”.
How that got linked too batshit, I’m not certain. Back when I looked it up, the sources we have now didn’t exist., which ima go look the etymology of it up and see if there’s something newer to me. If there is, I’ll come back.
- Comment on Are drink coasters for people who frequently spill their drink or have trouble drinking without dribbling down the cup? 2 weeks ago:
Nah, they’re so your wine bottles can coast on tables.
Seriously, that’s what they started as.
Using them to protect tables came later
- Comment on RIP Thomas 2 weeks ago:
Man, I’m so with you.
We got into it by accident too. I’d been around chickens when I was younger, but never our own, so it’s a totally different experience.
Our little trio is a source of infinite joy and entertainment. Only reason we don’t have more is being at the physical limit of what we can take care of. I’d have a yard full if it were otherwise.
- Comment on What is your age range for dating? 🤔 😮 2 weeks ago:
Hypothetically, I don’t have a limit st the high end, and the low end would be based more on the individual, but no younger than eighteen.
In reality, chances of finding someone in their twenties that would mesh well with for dating is unlikely, so thirty-ish is a more realistic lower age.
Upper end is less restricted for dating, but on a realistic level, I’m not going to enter a relationship with someone that’s into their seventies just because of life span probability after that.
Luckily, I’m happily married, so I don’t have to worry about that shit. But I’ve never cared about ages for dating, since dating is essentially “trying on” someone for a more committed relationship. It makes it worth interacting with people that are less likely to be compatible on a surface level, when going into it with the knowledge that it’s probably going to peter out anyway, so the risks of it having a high price are lower.
Seriously, every relationship has difficulties. You can’t predict what’s going to arise over decades of being together. So limiting options by age ends up being arbitrary. While I never went looking for people far away from my age, anyone old enough and developed enough to understand what a relationship is was the determinant.
Now, on a practical level, once you’re out in the work force, chances are that you’ll be interacting with people from their mid-to-late twenties up to their sixties. So you aren’t going to end up dating outside of that range often. To date someone you have to meet them, and communicate often enough to ask them for time outside of whatever scope you meet them in. So I never really dated outside that range at any point. But I wouldn’t have rejected the possibility if it came up.
I dunno, I just don’t see age gaps as a problem.
- Comment on What do you have to wake up to to be considered a heavy/light/normal sleeper? 2 weeks ago:
I dunno that it’s cut and dried.
Me? I’ll sleep through storms and music and loud cars. But if you even tiptoe into my room, I’m awake and usually already moving by the time you’ve taken a few steps.
However, different people cause different levels of response. My wife and kid can usually get close to the bed, maybe even reach out to touch my leg. My best friend is the same way. My dad, and my best friend’s husband I wake as soon as whatever it is that my brain recognizes is in the room, but I’m not on edge the way I am with anyone else.
My dad is similar about sounds outside the house, he’ll snore through a hurricane, and has. But if you speak his name quietly outside his door, he’s awake and talking to you, ready to move if he needs to.
My wife though? Fuck me, she sleeps hard. I have had to shake her awake more than once.
The kid is more like my dad with their name being called, but they also wake up to any loud noises outside. They will, however, sleep through an entire conversation right outside their door.
I believe the reason is that our brains filter senses all the time, awake or asleep. Everyone filters a little differently. So it makes sense that we’ll all pick up habits of filtering things our brains have learned are low priority, but rouse us for higher priority things. What’s crazy to me is that those filters don’t always make sense.
- Comment on Do you ever feel like your inside thoughts are leaking out? 2 weeks ago:
Kinda like that, only with more garden hoses
- Comment on Do you ever feel like your inside thoughts are leaking out? 2 weeks ago:
Well, in my defense, I think my inner thoughts are horrible.
Like, the one about hamsters. Nobody wants to see that.
- Comment on Do you ever feel like your inside thoughts are leaking out? 2 weeks ago:
Rarely, because I have decent self inhibition, even online.
But yeah, definitely things leak
- Comment on Is it weird I sleep with an old blanket I've had since I was a young girl? 2 weeks ago:
Only reason I don’t sleep with my equivalent is that I’ve already had to fix it five times.
The blanket that was my childhood blanket is so fragile it’s not even possible to mend it.
But the pillow my grandmother made for me, that sucker was made of polyester scraps. Which, for all that’s bad about polyester, the stuff lasts. So, over forty years later, I’ve replaced the filling three times, and resewn it fully twice, plus one partial resew. I tend to replace the filling any time I do a major repair, but there’s been three times I needed to specifically refill it.
Back when she made it, it was filled with that loose polyfill stuff. I’ve swapped between cotton, polyfill, shredded foam, and shredded memory foam.
I don’t sleep with it any more, like I said. But it’s right here beside me.
I had even specified being buried with it, but swapped to wanting cremation, and that’s not going to work with the pillow.
- Comment on What's an absolutely medium quality game? Not great, incredible or terrible or any single ended extreme. Dead medium quality 2 weeks ago:
Well, when it comes to video games, despite being foundational, Mario Bros. At the time, it was mids, but there were a lot less truly great games, and less abysmal ones so it looked better than it was. The series got better, but that first one was kinda meh. It’s all timing jumps, which is fine as far it as it goes, but there were both better and worse options on that console.
Away from video game, Life is about as meh as it gets. No real strategy, no depth. But it’s a good time killer and you can play it with a table full of people drinking and not get bogged down or into arguments because of the game (unlike monopoly lol).