DrivebyHaiku

@DrivebyHaiku@lemmy.ca

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨There's a noticable influx of trans kids in my job. Are there any topics I should avoid or considerations I should take into account when training them?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  Hey, Non-binary trans masc person in trades here.

  I can tell you how I perceive different types of co-worker if it helps you want to dial in what it’s like on the other side of the experience. There’s layers to the whole situation and as non-binary folks we understand what we are asking for isn’t automatically going to click and requires people to figure us out.

  First up : Most of us end of day aren’t going to rock the boat for anything less than fully agregious behaviour so calls to report other people for being mildly offensive are probably not actually going to go anywhere. Most of us are scared of being labelled “a problem” so we just take the hits when they come. If you are a boss and notice a non-binary person sticking closer to specific people and avoiding others there’s a good chance that they’ve found the people who are safe and avoiding ones who aren’t. A great accommodation that can invisibly help is just to recognize this strata and if a task nessesitates putting people together try and pair along these lines. A lot of co-workers wait until other people aren’t around to let their nastier behaviour shine.

  Now to co-worker types. Aside from the full on transphobe or problem persons there’s a range of different stages of cool people.

  The “I don’t really get it” Co-worker pays lip service to the polite aspects of using pronouns. They are the type to introduce you to others by misgendering you and then flap their hands and go “Oh no sorry ‘they’”. We know they don’t get it or don’t really care. The misgendering still hurts but they are fairly benign. They make these accidents non maliciously and are afforded grace. If they step in it we basically disregard because they aren’t really worth the effort of getting too comfortable around. We make these accommodations for strangers daily. Annoying but nessisary.

  The “in training” co-worker is one whom is encountering their very first trans person. They want you to be their Obi wan and their enthusiasm is a bit of a double edged sword at times. It’s tiring to teach people to dance when they keep stepping on your feet but the job needs doing. Some of us veiw this as our own brand of service to the cause of normalizing ourselves more widely. Some of us just don’t want to be bothered. Either way, just wanting to learn is heaps better than ambivalence. If you fuck up something, don’t make a big deal about it. It’s not that you’re a terrible person and should have known better. Our stuff takes practice and we know it’s not intuitive.

  The “A little too up in our shit” co-worker is excited to know the real you but looks at you as a beautiful creature in need of preservation. They might seek to advocate on your behalf or behind your back but the attempt is clumsy and often at odds with a non-binary person’s desire to just get through the workday as a regular human and not make waves. Good enthusiasm sure, we’re probably friends but for the love of God we’re adults and we can sort out our own shit if need be.

  The “Understands the Assignment” co-worker is just comfortable to be around. They don’t have to be the most tuned in to all the nuance about our specific needs in ways we require more out of partners, family and friends but they treat our basic requirements as no big deal, maybe they occasionally ask questions to check in if they catch us struggling or reacting but aren’t going to narc to the boss on our behalf. They either avoid all stereotypes associated with sex or in the case of trans mascs/trans femmes they treat us like one of the boys/girls. Gold standard.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How do children address a non-binary parent?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Very individualized as per need. Non-binary is an umbrella term for a whole bunch of different situations so what feels right is going to be very different for someone who feels like say a mix of masculine and feminine versus someone who has dysphoric reactions to any and all gender markers. It’s going to be different for someone whose identity is more static than say someone who fluidly bounces between extremes.

  If you know someone who is non-binary that’s essentially just the tip of the iceberg of a whole discussion about how they personally interact with their body or the culture of gender. I’ve heard of mixes of Mom/Dad for bigender people, just Mom or Dad for trans masc/femme folk, Completely new words that do not have cultural baggage, or just “my parent”. It’s not a one size fits all situation.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How do children address a non-binary parent?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I’ve heard “Mawpaw” for a bigender person before which sounds kind of delightfully southern.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Trump, in blue, sleeping at Pope Francis' funeral⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  But there are a lot of things that exist that aren’t exactly friendly. People often hinge their belief or disbelief in any divinity singularly on the bible. They consider proof of God existing is based on whether all the claims made in an old book are true.

  Not saying that means anyone should start praying. The God as listed in the Bible given their behaviour does not seem either omniscient, omnipotent or benevolent but those ideals have shaped a lot of the discussion about whether something classifies as a “true” God or not. A lot of thought and debate goes towards squaring that circle. Sometimes the easiest answer is that lies exist. The presense of other gods are noted in the bible. Maybe that one was just a super powered Narcissist.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Trump, in blue, sleeping at Pope Francis' funeral⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Technically that would be a defense if the god in question was actually as powerful as they say they are or that they are nessisarily good. There is always a possibility that Gods exist but are not on the hook to tell the truth and their goals do not align with humans.

  A lying god telling the kids they have magic powers well beyond them and proving it like an uncle playing a dumb trick on the three year olds at a family reunion is a possibility. Maybe God exists and is just kind of an ass?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Dolores Umbridge was a JK Rowling Self Insert all this time.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Maybe writing a masterpiece doesn’t excuse the harm one continues to perpetrate. Also my outrage is not secondhand. I am part of the community she has been campaigning against.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Dolores Umbridge was a JK Rowling Self Insert all this time.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Then you haven’t seen her twitter platform, listened to years of trans advocacy for her to stop cheering on the brigading of bigotry or you just don’t care.

  Ostrich head in the sand, boot in the mouth or apathetic bystander to bigotry. Whatever the cope it’s past time defending her. Enjoy your wizard shit quietly.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I had no idea y cunt was this powerful⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Bit of a funny insult calling someone a bulk cardboard box for shipping (ie Gaylord).

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I had no idea y cunt was this powerful⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  If you look at the history of the word “man” from it’s origin it was originally a gender neutral term. You had to append a modifier (were or wif) on it to specify gender. Over time this eroded and people stopped using “wereman” to mean masculine people and just started using the default phrase that meant everybody but sorta kept “wifman” and changed the pronunciation.

  So if you peel back the history women are indeed 100% man because everyone is a man.

  Also in the category of gender neutral once : “Girl” used to just meant “child” and “boy” meant something along the line of “young ruffian”.