Jesus, help me! - No!

Comments

• mysterytoy@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  “And a hen you saw two pairs of footprints on the beach, my child… that wasn’t you and me, it was just me. Galloping majestically.”

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  • jaybone@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Jesus was carrying the dinosaur, which is why you don’t see the dinosaur footprints, because dinosaurs didn’t exist.

    But they only didn’t exist in order to test our faith.

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    • postmateDumbass@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Jesus spent those misssing years casting bones out of concrete, sailing around the world, and burying them for future archeologists.

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• wischi@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Jesus, take the wheel legs

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  • remotelove@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    That would be his third leg he is holding.

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• Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  AI photos have taken Facebook by storm. So many are very obviously fucked up looking and not real, but the sheer stupidity of the masses shines as strong as ever. I even stumbled into a weird genre of AI-generated pictures of motorcycles built entirely from wood planks, usually with a toddler sitting on one and a caption like “Make this myself!”, and the comments section is absolutely bursting with morons praising how wonderful the craftsmanship is. The only part of these photos that even look life-like is the kid. And yet…

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  • rab@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    I keep seeing this picture with a penguin spotted at the grocery store claiming its northern Canada. Entire comment section in awe

    We don’t even fucking have penguins in this hemisphere

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    • Dvixen@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      There’s a colony of them off the coast of northern BC. It was started about twenty years ago for a study.

      Granted, they are plastic and nailed down, but hey, who cares about details.

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    • xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      HEY! We technically have [one (1)].(en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galapagos_penguin)

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    • Bgugi@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      I mean… Zoos are anything.

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  • Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Damn now I kinda wanna see one of those.

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• KraBa@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Why does he not simply walk on the water?

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  • RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Too heavy with four legs!

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    • TheRedSpade@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      But also four feet. That means he has more surface area to spread the weight across this time around.

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  • MissJinx@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Are you questioning Jesus? demon

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• dumbass@lemy.lol ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Image I got midjourney to make this to see if it could make a realistic photo of the crucifixion, I should start telling Christians that it’s a still taken from the Chronovisor the Vatican has hidden away.

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  • SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Amazing that he has the skin tone of a Scandinavian who has never felt the touch of sunlight in his bones.

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    • Etterra@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      The model is only as knowledgeable as its training data.

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  • pipows@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    This is impressive

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  • prayer@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Those shadows don’t make sense

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    • Spendrill@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      When you’ve got someone saying things like: “I am the light” clearly we’re beyond the particle/waveform level of confusion.

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    • Socsa@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Elbows are too sharp

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  • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Did you choose the 1960’s style color processing, or did midjourney?

    Chronovisor the Vatican has hidden away.

    I never once considered that the Vatican might have actual powerful artifacts and/or SCP-level objects tucked away.

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    • dumbass@lemy.lol ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      I asked it for a colourised photo jounalistic footage, it decided that style. .

      That throne the pope has feels like some sort of SCP.

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  • postmateDumbass@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Needs more dinosaur

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  • Macaroni_ninja@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    The left guy is wearing a bike helmet though

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    • Empricorn@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      The buses weren’t running that day.

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    • postmateDumbass@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Taken from a screenshot of 1970s Jesus Christ Superstar movie.

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  • Flax_vert@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Actually a really good AI picture

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    • Krauerking@lemy.lol ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Which part?

      The ropes going nowhere? The weird perspective? The incredibly elongated forearm? Or the fact that it’s a white Jesus that looks like a carving which isn’t at all accurate.

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• taiyang@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  You see, you can tell it’s fake because Jesus isn’t real (and also doesn’t have a spare pair of sexy lady legs)

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  • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    That’s not a leg 😏

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  • jaybone@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Those could be a guys legs.

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    • tourist@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      we need one of them feet guys to weigh in

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• boatsnhos931@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I imagine the prompt being like show Jesus carrying his two penis legs through floodwaters

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  • thorbot@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Why is “two penis legs” making me laugh so fucking hard

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    • Klear@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      It’s funny because penis.

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• Stretch2m@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  open your mind

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  • kromem@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Open your mind…

    Open your mind…

    Open your mind…

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    • spiderwort@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Most of us use “mind” to refer to intellect. The thing we think with, where all the ideas are.

      But the Buddhists are referring to your attention. Like a flashlight, you direct it at stuff. Sights, sounds, thoughts, etc.

      That’s 2 quite different things. “Open your mind” is a different thing there.

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    • MyFairJulia@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Image

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    • Aggravationstation@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqeD69k-DDQ

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  • xavier666@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    It’s not a toomah!

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• ElectricTrombone@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Maybe the people on your Facebook are also AI/bots. It’s just one big circle of bots posted altered photos and responding to them.

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• MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I’ve seen something similar in YouTube shorts. These AI generated white Jesus avatars with TTS speech talking about how if you love Jesus you have to comment “amen” to be saved.

  It’s fucking weird.

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  • Plopp@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Well that’s one way to feed the algorithm with comments. And apparently it works since you got to see the videos.

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  • Flax_vert@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    ‭Acts 16:25-31 ESV‬ [25] About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them, [26] and suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken. And immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone’s bonds were unfastened. [27] When the jailer woke and saw that the prison doors were open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself, supposing that the prisoners had escaped. [28] But Paul cried with a loud voice, “Do not harm yourself, for we are all here.” [29] And the jailer called for lights and rushed in, and trembling with fear he fell down before Paul and Silas. [30] Then he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” [31] And they said, “Comment ‘Amen’ on my latest TikTok, and you will be saved, you and your household.”

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  • riskable@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    The Warhammer lore where people worship an AI as literal God suddenly seems so realistic!

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  • Kase@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    I used to see one that literally said “Jesus wants you to download [this app].” Creepy af.

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  • SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    I guess having your critical thinking overriden by fear (of going to hell), isn’t… The best.

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• Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  So, I had a quick look at the people commenting on the post, and they all seem to be real people, with a post history etc.

  NPC behaviour, truly.

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• nl4real@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Why were the bus drivers all on the same bus?

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  • EdibleFriend@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    How else are the bus drivers gonna get to bus store.

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• dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  the feed is full of those AI Jesus pictures like this and thousands of comments saying “Amen”.

  I’m worried. Should I be worried?

  2000+ years ago, literature didn’t exist in the way it does today. A book was only writable/readable to those that were literate, whom were in the overwhelming minority. I can appreciate how such an incomprehensible thing, said to contain the very word of god, might be considered practically magic in its own right. Today, all that’s demystified mostly because nearly all of us understand that writing is just a form of technology as small children.

  Now, we have a brand new incomprehensible thing that can churn out religious iconography with the push of a button.

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  • Skullgrid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    propaganda always existed. People have pictures of white & blonde jesus in their homes. Jesus was midde eastern. Didn’t need AI for that.

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• NGC2346@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  JESU

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  • Kase@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

     24
    

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• Spendrill@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  How many Korean bus drivers does it take to escort a six-toed Galilean to… where is Jesus going btw?

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  • floridaman@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    He’s going to JESU 24

    clearly

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    • Spendrill@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Ahhhhhhh, I get it. JESU 1 had problems so he had to go to JESU 2 to heal him. Unfortunately JESU 2 also had problems that were beyond the combined powers of him and JESU Prime which caused JESU 3 to come into existence. So this here is JESU 23, he’s just fixed JESU 22’s shit but he’s a bit unsteady walking on water with the extra limbs so he’s off to see JESU 24.

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  • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Flood water’s risin’. Clearly, they’re headed to Noah’s boat. That and Korean bus-drivers were deemed the only truly selfless and chosen ones for the rapture to come.

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    • Spendrill@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      The beoseu unjeonsa came in ten by ten, hurrah, hurrah!

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• gimpchrist@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Just a picture of typical jesus, helping those who help themselves

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• random_character_a@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Jesus was a hermaphrodite centaur. Amen

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• postmateDumbass@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  To traumatized Jesus evolved away from virgin birth, but his demonstration of his asexual reproduction power was interupted by another flood.

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• saltesc@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Oh, just get back on the bus and drive. It’s so shallow he’s not even bothering to walk on it.

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• MyNamesNotRobert@lemmynsfw.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I liked it when people were posting ai pictures of Jesus stealing ipads and shoplifting and stuff.

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• solomon42069@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  This is what happens when you let your son of God be a Sons of the Forest.

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• ThrowawaySobriquet@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Oh shit! It’s Supply Side Jesus! Look, he’s showing us how to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps!

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• candyman337@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I HATE IT when I have to hold my extra legs so they don’t get wet

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• jettrscga@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  There’s only one bus line that gets you to heaven every time!*

  JESU 24

  *Fuck off if there’s flooding.

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  • Zier@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Jesus' dad decided to do global flood 2.0 and leave his only son there. mwhahahaha

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• LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  six limbs! He’s technically an insect

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  • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Some sort of praying mantis?

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• Socsa@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  OPEN YOUR MINDSSSS

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• Muninn@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  When nobody is there to save you and you need to save yourself.

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• Etterra@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  So are we all ignoring how the hand holding up the leg (not both, just the one). Is growing right out of the same leg it’s allegedly supporting?

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  • RagingRobot@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    That’s why he’s looking at it so intensely with his one eye

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• Hermano@feddit.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Amen

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• jaybone@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  They are getting better with the number of fingers.

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