I pick up the newspaper and everyday there’s a new horrible story about him that’s somehow become trite since all this oaf does is disparage other, loaf about, and take what he can from others to engorge himself. He’s ruining this country in every way, shape, and form but somehow he has millions of cult followers. He’s above any punishment yet forces us to suffer his existence like some sort of sick, kafkaesque joke. This absolute piece of shit has no redeeming qualities and yet we let him keep breathing air. It’s impossible to scroll online without seeing his gross orange face pop up on screen. I swear if I hear him say “I hate Mondays” or “I love lasagna” one more time I am going to lose it. Save us from this Garfieldian agony.