I do all the vacuuming here.
Considering neither me nor the wifey are fertile, I think this is easily debunked and closed, then label as “incel drivel” and thrown into the fire.
Foolproof advice
Submitted 6 months ago by sus@programming.dev to [deleted]
https://programming.dev/pictrs/image/ed8ff874-fc1c-434d-82e3-e08b6caf039d.png
Comments
Geodad@lemmy.world 6 months ago
MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 6 months ago
Username is definitely relevant. :)
I would consider your comment to be far more truthful and accurate than what is pictured in the OP.
Have a good day.
ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
Community Note: This is actually bad advice that will get you stabbed
Malfeasant@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Can confirm, was stabbed.
ToiletFlushShowerScream@lemmy.world 6 months ago
You’re right, and I find it hilarious that this needs to be noted.
Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 6 months ago
In the unlikely event that she reacts poorly she might be on her period. You should ask her to make sure though.
LemmyThinkAboutIt@lemmy.zip 6 months ago
And if the woman happens to overreact to the period question, just politely tell her to calm down.
Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
… not forgetting to add a term of endearement, such as “sweetie”, “honey” or “babe”.
icelimit@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
If she doesn’t, tell her she’s acting crazy.
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
Yeah i always take stock and usually calm down when a guy points that out.
Etterra@discuss.online 6 months ago
Not sure if AI or just incredibly stupid.
entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.org 6 months ago
Pretty sure it’s a joke.
Etterra@discuss.online 6 months ago
We live in a post irony world and I literally can’t tell the difference without knowing the source.
glitch1985@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Why not both?
Etterra@discuss.online 6 months ago
Of course, I forgot answer C. All of the above.
Formfiller@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Damn I guess I’ve never ovulated in my life
itslola@lemmy.world 6 months ago
TIL I ovulate every Sunday 😂😅
iii@mander.xyz 6 months ago
Congrats! 🎉🎉🌻
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
Where the fuck do you keep all the eggs? Do you have a walk in fridge?
madjo@feddit.nl 6 months ago
In europe we store our eggs unrefrigerated
StupidBrotherInLaw@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Every day here and I don’t even have ovaries!
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Possibly like “false pregnancy” in dogs?
dis_honestfamiliar@lemmy.sdf.org 6 months ago
Oh yeah. Zero chance of back fire. Zero. Had sex all my life - once with a women. Trust me.
Noodle07@lemmy.world 6 months ago
once with a women. Trust me.
Stop bragging
MyDogLovesMe@lemmy.world 6 months ago
My wife always, always wanted pasta right before her period. It was always a good warning flag for her/us. So, this thread is a bit believable, …for me.
ethaver@kbin.earth 6 months ago
yeah it seems like one of those things where you'll probably almost definitely see some kind of behavioral change, but what specifically is basically completely up in the air. My chronic suicidal ideation will flare up really bad right before I begin menstruating. Having an IUD means menstruating a lot less but it also makes it less predictable. So I'll be in this deep dark hole for a few days that I would swear up and down is the worst I've ever felt and it's never gonna get any better then one morning I'm taking a piss and my boxers have blood on them and I'm just like "...ooooooh."
mere@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 months ago
hang on, I feel there could be false positives there. Did she ever want pasta when she wasn’t on her period?
toynbee@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I pretty much always want pasta… Maybe I’m always experiencing menses.
shalafi@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Rings true to me. My wife never vacuums and is past menopause.
thebudman420@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I feel sorry for any guy dumb enough to try this. Also my friends mom when i was 13 vacuumed every day and rearranged all furniture and vacuumed behind everything once a week.
StarvingMartist@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
Wow what a cycle that must have sucked
Winter_Oven@piefed.social 6 months ago
Feels like an example of crabs in a bucket
QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
This is for betas. It says so in the upper right corner.
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Suckers gonna suck
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 6 months ago
“No, stop, where are you going? I have it on very good authority that you enjoy this!”
spiffynova@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
The stinkier the cheese, the more the fascination!
madjo@feddit.nl 6 months ago
I keep stealing shoes, and filling it with rue, but all it’s given me are shouting matches
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
My ex gf and i used to steal each other fancy cheeses. It was the most intense love i have ever felt.
icelimit@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
How do you steal each other fancy cheeses? Or steal fancy cheese from each other?
DharmaCurious@startrek.website 6 months ago
My mom and I used to steal fancy cheese for each other. God I miss that woman like you can’t believe. 10/10 mom and person.
Etterra@discuss.online 6 months ago
I tried this with my fiance with a dairy allergy and now I’m single again.
krunklom@lemmy.zip 6 months ago
Bitches love cheddar
Spezi@feddit.org 6 months ago
bitjunkie@lemmy.world 6 months ago
True love right there
hovercat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 months ago
That’s kind of an insane gift for a first date given how expensive cheese is.
DharmaCurious@startrek.website 6 months ago
Would marry that farmer. No questions asked, no long engagement. Straight to the court house, we’re getting hitched.
achance4cheese@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
Fascinating
cypherpunks@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
🖖
also: username checks out
kerrigan778@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 months ago
Yeah but this one unironically works for a lot of women.
Etterra@discuss.online 6 months ago
Works for a lot of men too. I mean not me. I prefer mozzarella.
Sunschein@piefed.social 6 months ago
Idk, this piece of advice legitimately works on my wife.
faythofdragons@slrpnk.net 6 months ago
I like the idea that these are all steps to one process. Like, you gotta steal her shoe and some hair and pins, and the best distraction is with cheese.
Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca 6 months ago
Fun fact, the digestion of milk/cheese creates casomorphins from caesin, one of the most prominent peptides in milk. Casomorphins can activate opioid receptors. Giving a woman a slice of cheese might work in your benefit if she eats the cheese.
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I read that as “a slice of milk” and like. Technically yeah it’s not wrong
BlueLineBae@midwest.social 6 months ago
That show one just reminded me that when we bought our house and had to start renovations on it, the attic had lots of women’s shoes. Just one shoe from a pair and all different shoes. I have so many questions for the previous owner, but unfortunately they are no longer with us.
Etterra@discuss.online 6 months ago
Maybe they robbed a shoe store. On displays they frequently leave one shoe from a pair so that stealing them just nets you a pile of left shoes lol
SolarMonkey@slrpnk.net 6 months ago
If they were all the same size, perhaps amputee?
Or maybe a really specific fetish.
Maybe both.
Quite possibly a question best left unanswered, at least until you no longer live there
Kolanaki@pawb.social 6 months ago
“Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are.”
krunklom@lemmy.zip 6 months ago
The cheese is under my foreskin
SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Yes, that one there officer. He tried to put a Kraft Single in my bra.
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 6 months ago
To be fair, cheese works on most people, whether or not they’re ovulating.
ileftreddit@piefed.social 6 months ago
Lol who wrote this, Ben Shapiro?
db2@lemmy.world 6 months ago
It’s typo progressive for him. He’s the “your wife shouldn’t get wet” type.
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
Dont get her wet, don’t feed her after midnight. Hes very strict about rules for his wife.
Gork@sopuli.xyz 6 months ago
This must be why the site is still in Beta
hexabs@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I’m surprised they fought the urge to stay alpha forever
ValiantDust@feddit.org 6 months ago
Yes, please do that. So we will immediately aware that we should get away as fast as possible.
LookBehindYouNowAndThen@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Sounds condescending. Why not just compliment her ovipositor?
Cruxifux@feddit.nl 6 months ago
This has to be satire.
CheerfulPassionFruit@lemmy.world 6 months ago
The sad thing is that some people will take this advice.
kadaverin0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
Written by Coolguy Sexhaver.
LolaCat@lemmy.ca 6 months ago
Poe’s law
TheBat@lemmy.world 6 months ago
That doesn’t sound right but I don’t know anything about women to dispute it.
omniman@anarchist.nexus 6 months ago
if i fill her in will she respectfully become my gf ?
cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 6 months ago
We all love some good ol’ mansplainimg.
Lemminary@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I have a sudden urge to vacuum, and without ovaries! 😍
RagingRobot@lemmy.world 6 months ago
So you just like to suck then? ;)
SoloCritical@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Vacuuming? Are you ovulating or something?