In the unlikely event that she reacts poorly she might be on her period. You should ask her to make sure though.
Foolproof advice
Submitted 15 hours ago by sus@programming.dev to [deleted]
https://programming.dev/pictrs/image/ed8ff874-fc1c-434d-82e3-e08b6caf039d.png
Comments
Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 4 hours ago
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 hours ago
Yeah i always take stock and usually calm down when a guy points that out.
kadaverin0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 hours ago
Written by Coolguy Sexhaver.
CoryCoolguy@lemmy.myserv.one 11 hours ago
No relation.
Etterra@discuss.online 4 hours ago
Not sure if AI or just incredibly stupid.
entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.org 3 hours ago
Pretty sure it’s a joke.
Etterra@discuss.online 1 hour ago
We live in a post irony world and I literally can’t tell the difference without knowing the source.
glitch1985@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
Why not both?
Etterra@discuss.online 1 hour ago
Of course, I forgot answer C. All of the above.
itslola@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
TIL I ovulate every Sunday 😂😅
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 hours ago
Where the fuck do you keep all the eggs? Do you have a walk in fridge?
StupidBrotherInLaw@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
Every day here and I don’t even have ovaries!
dis_honestfamiliar@lemmy.sdf.org 9 hours ago
Oh yeah. Zero chance of back fire. Zero. Had sex all my life - once with a women. Trust me.
Noodle07@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
once with a women. Trust me.
Stop bragging
Formfiller@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
Damn I guess I’ve never ovulated in my life
TheBat@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
That doesn’t sound right but I don’t know anything about women to dispute it.
Cruxifux@feddit.nl 14 hours ago
This has to be satire.
wander1236@sh.itjust.works 14 hours ago
There’s no way that last sentence especially isn’t satire
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 hours ago
It’s nit. This has worked on me four times.
AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
I thought so too until I went to the website and I still couldn’t tell :/
Cruxifux@feddit.nl 10 hours ago
There’s lots of really fucking stupid people out there so who knows.
Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone 8 hours ago
I am once again asking lemmy users to check what community they're in before commenting
Cruxifux@feddit.nl 8 hours ago
I understand the user is using this as a shitpost but that doesn’t mean the original content was for sure satire. It could also just be written by an idiot.
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 hours ago
You can’t really expect consciousness from straight cis men.
ileftreddit@piefed.social 14 hours ago
Lol who wrote this, Ben Shapiro?
db2@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
It’s typo progressive for him. He’s the “your wife shouldn’t get wet” type.
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 hours ago
Dont get her wet, don’t feed her after midnight. Hes very strict about rules for his wife.
LookBehindYouNowAndThen@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
Sounds condescending. Why not just compliment her ovipositor?
BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 14 hours ago
Madam, my compliments to your ovaries 🎩💪🏼🥚🙇
Denjin@feddit.uk 13 hours ago
My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.
Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
Why, thank you, I’ve just been to the remora. And might I say what a stable dorsal fin you have.
shalafi@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
Rings true to me. My wife never vacuums and is past menopause.
ValiantDust@feddit.org 14 hours ago
Yes, please do that. So we will immediately aware that we should get away as fast as possible.
CheerfulPassionFruit@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
The sad thing is that some people will take this advice.
blarghly@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
What’s sad about learning something new and getting laid?
Denjin@feddit.uk 13 hours ago
Please fertilise my egg, I just vacuumed.
CheerfulPassionFruit@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
I sincerely hope you’re /s ing.
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 9 hours ago
And some woman will have a good laugh and a narrow escape
thebudman420@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
I feel sorry for any guy dumb enough to try this. Also my friends mom when i was 13 vacuumed every day and rearranged all furniture and vacuumed behind everything once a week.
StarvingMartist@sh.itjust.works 11 hours ago
Wow what a cycle that must have sucked
omniman@anarchist.nexus 14 hours ago
if i fill her in will she respectfully become my gf ?
BottleCaptain@feddit.nl 14 hours ago
No, for that you have to fill her up.
omniman@anarchist.nexus 13 hours ago
Fill her up with love 🥺👉👈
QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works 12 hours ago
This is for betas. It says so in the upper right corner.
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
“No, stop, where are you going? I have it on very good authority that you enjoy this!”
Gork@sopuli.xyz 14 hours ago
This must be why the site is still in Beta
hexabs@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
I’m surprised they fought the urge to stay alpha forever
MyDogLovesMe@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
My wife always, always wanted pasta right before her period. It was always a good warning flag for her/us. So, this thread is a bit believable, …for me.
LolaCat@lemmy.ca 14 hours ago
Poe’s law
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
Suckers gonna suck
Winter_Oven@piefed.social 12 hours ago
Feels like an example of crabs in a bucket
spiffynova@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
We all know that won’t work. Try this instead. Image
Kolanaki@pawb.social 13 hours ago
“Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are.”
SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
To be fair, cheese works on most people, whether or not they’re ovulating.
krunklom@lemmy.zip 4 hours ago
The cheese is under my foreskin
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 hours ago
My ex gf and i used to steal each other fancy cheeses. It was the most intense love i have ever felt.
DharmaCurious@startrek.website 3 hours ago
My mom and I used to steal fancy cheese for each other. God I miss that woman like you can’t believe. 10/10 mom and person.
Spezi@feddit.org 7 hours ago
Image
DharmaCurious@startrek.website 2 hours ago
Would marry that farmer. No questions asked, no long engagement. Straight to the court house, we’re getting hitched.
kilgore_trout@feddit.it 2 hours ago
Bro, plastic cheese…
kerrigan778@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 hours ago
Yeah but this one unironically works for a lot of women.
Etterra@discuss.online 4 hours ago
Works for a lot of men too. I mean not me. I prefer mozzarella.
Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca 12 hours ago
Fun fact, the digestion of milk/cheese creates casomorphins from caesin, one of the most prominent peptides in milk. Casomorphins can activate opioid receptors. Giving a woman a slice of cheese might work in your benefit if she eats the cheese.
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
I read that as “a slice of milk” and like. Technically yeah it’s not wrong
Etterra@discuss.online 4 hours ago
I tried this with my fiance with a dairy allergy and now I’m single again.
Sunschein@piefed.social 12 hours ago
Idk, this piece of advice legitimately works on my wife.
BlueLineBae@midwest.social 13 hours ago
That show one just reminded me that when we bought our house and had to start renovations on it, the attic had lots of women’s shoes. Just one shoe from a pair and all different shoes. I have so many questions for the previous owner, but unfortunately they are no longer with us.
Etterra@discuss.online 4 hours ago
Maybe they robbed a shoe store. On displays they frequently leave one shoe from a pair so that stealing them just nets you a pile of left shoes lol
SolarMonkey@slrpnk.net 8 hours ago
If they were all the same size, perhaps amputee?
Or maybe a really specific fetish.
Maybe both.
Quite possibly a question best left unanswered, at least until you no longer live there
achance4cheese@sh.itjust.works 8 hours ago
Fascinating
krunklom@lemmy.zip 4 hours ago
Bitches love cheddar
faythofdragons@slrpnk.net 12 hours ago
I like the idea that these are all steps to one process. Like, you gotta steal her shoe and some hair and pins, and the best distraction is with cheese.