May be kinda specific (and poorly worded), but basically she said that negative feelings come from places where my mental image of the world conflicts with objective reality. This was mostly related to my relationship with my father, as i was looking up to him and seeking his approval, while ignoring the fact that neither he should be a role model or i can be a person whom he would accept. I found this advice applicable to many other situations, but unfortunately i mostly use it after the fact — i get disappointed or angry about something and then i ask myself “Ok, but what i imagined things would be? What else am i wrong about?”
i broke
Submitted 1 year ago by Stamets@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/faedadad-2c8a-4f83-8350-d75cf6a9c5c4.jpeg
Comments
it_is_what_it_is@lemmy.world 1 year ago
BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 1 year ago
This sounds a lot like the Second Noble Truth in Buddhism. “Suffering is caused by desire”, meaning that there is a disconnect between what you wish were so, and what is actually so.
it_is_what_it_is@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I started writing “true, but in my case it wasn’t limited only to desiring something” and stopped mid sentence. I was sad that i couldn’t fit in my family, because i desired to be a part of it. Giving that desire up removed my suffering, so yeah.
I should probably look into Buddhism.
garbagebagel@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Mine explained my emotional dysregulation patterns and helped me identify the triggers and how to address them.
By far, the most useful technique they shared with me was the TIPP skills technique, which helps me come down when I am having strong emotional reactions as a trauma response or from anxiety. Essentially:
- temperature - use cold temp to lower heart rate, warm to raise it
- intense exercise - helps manage overwhelming energy levels
- paced breathing - I’m not big on breathing but it works for some
- paired muscle relaxation - my favourite as it also interrupts thought patterns
Hope you’re able to access help though, obviously it is much better when personalized and you also get the safe space to release your fears and anxieties
Drekaridill@feddit.is 1 year ago
“We’re raising our hourly rates”
Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 year ago
“I’m sorry but I have to respond to an emergency. Please see reception about rescheduling your appointment.”
Phoenix3875@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Try something other than amex cards.
troglodytis@lemmy.world 1 year ago
For everything else, there’s MasterCard
Mallspice@lemm.ee 1 year ago
[deleted]interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 1 year ago
Actually I want every living and potentially living thing in the universe to expire, including spores, viruses, text and LLMs
Tracaine@lemmy.world 1 year ago
[deleted]FeatherConstrictor@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
BPD is becoming increasingly more treatable and less therapists have the opinion that you stated here. It’s just that CBT, the traditionally used approach, is not the most effective solution. It’s DBT that is effective for BPD. As the commenter below you said, mindfulness has been great for them, and that’s a core part of BPD. I don’t have BPD but my diagnosis includes “traits of BPD” on my chart and I thought therapy didn’t work for me until I went to a specifically DBT-focused skills group.
ifeelsick@lemm.ee 1 year ago
its true. as a person with cptsd (bpd) ive mainly had to resort to giving myself the therapy i need through reading, being mindful every moment of the day (i legit have conversations with myself in real time to decide-what i want to say- vs the impact it will have), and psychiatric medication. The real difficult thing is getting the said person with BPD to WANT to change, and i mean with a desperate fervor, otherwise therapy is basically a silly talk session for me where i jab at the therapist to make them say what i want them to say.
humanspiral@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
Your misery cannot possibly be the result a structurally oppressive society, look at how well I’m doing. Now go kick your mom in the vagina and suck dick for therapy fares, and come back next week.
interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 1 year ago
Fiouu!!
puppycat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 year ago
think about all of the shit that makes life suck. think about the things that make you miserable. now imagine ✨pouring your love✨ on those things like a great big waterfall.
…what do you mean that didn’t help? you aren’t cured now?? welp, that’s all we have time for. see you again in two weeks.
Paradachshund@lemmy.today 1 year ago
Life doesn’t happen on your schedule.
peregrin5@lemm.ee 1 year ago
The advice is usually pretty common sense and likely nothing you haven’t heard before. The main benefit is having a safe space you can discuss your anxieties with a professional and having someone who will listen with minimal judgement.
Basically a paid friendship without all the other benefits of friendship.
Honestly I wouldn’t be going if it weren’t fully covered by my husband’s insurance.
Tonuka@feddit.org 1 year ago
Yes, but Cognitive Behavioral Therapy specifically also a lot about working together to implement some small-scale changes. These are based on what you call common sense, but beyond it just being unable to retain your common sense sometimes, it’s really easy to accidentally not act according to common sense sometimes despite possessing it.
Yea
cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Hot take, but I’ve done therapy with like 4-5 different therapists over like 20 years and found it to be of little to no use. What’s been a lot more helpful is just living life with the intent of letting go of past wrongs and making sure that I don’t inflict them on others.
solarvector@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 year ago
I think the point of therapy is to help you effect changes in your behavior (mental and physical). Sounds like you were able to make some changes that help.
BastingChemina@slrpnk.net 1 year ago
“Be on time for your appointment next week”
Here, I hope it will hero
MissJinx@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I’ll tell you my PERSONAL experience. I was on therapy and I learned to 1st Identify your triggers (what makes you feel sad? Is it the news? Is it specific news?! Like politics or violence? What ruins your day/week?). Once you know what makes you angry or sad you can actively avoid reading or looking for it. Block people that keep pushing it on you, remove communities that post about it, maybe even social media as a whole (Lemmy is the only social media I still have and it has been amazing for my menral.health). If you feel stable enough and in control you cam work towards changing it. You can be a volunteer or do some work for it.
Finally, since in my case this wasn’t enough, I went to a psychiatrist and now take an amazing medication. 1 pill a day changed my life radically. I recomend
gedaliyah@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Thoughts are habits. You can’t always change your circumstances, but you can change the way you think about them. The more you practice healthy thought patterns, the better you develop good habits.
cortex7979@lemm.ee 1 year ago
The Dichotomy of Control
youCanCallMeDragon@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Based stoicism
Arnl@lemm.ee 1 year ago
I need to work on this one
dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I got a lot of professional advice and guidance in the moment to kick the door to mindfulness wide open. I wish I could share any one thing specific to help anyone replicate the experience. I honestly think this kind of Gnostic awakening has to be tailored to the individual. Also, I was told I was a quick study at this - so sadly, it may take a long time to get there (months to years even).
One exercise we did that helped a lot was to have a discussion with your younger self, and explore what you would say knowing what you know now. Like with a lot of this stuff, the key is to verbalize - it’s fundamentally different than talking to yourself with your inner monologue. So you’re gonna need a close friend that you can share a LOT of deeply traumatic experiences. Fundamentally, this is what we pay counselors for: privacy, not judging, and helping to take out the trash. Group therapy may help here too - I have yet to try this, so YMMV.
On a more specific note, I used to be obsessed with root-cause-analysis for my own psychological problems. I almost got into an argument with my counselor over it, until he was able to help me see the light. You can absolutely figure out why and even how you got this way, but that information will absolutely not help you if you’re already in a safe space. It can help you break free of someone or a bad situation, but stuff that happened 30 years ago? Not so much. When you get down to it, there’s no “undo” button for trauma, no matter how much you know. Instead, one must look to the present, exercise mindfulness in the moment of anxiety and triggers, and practice walking your headspace back to a more rational place.
miraclerandy@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Your emotions and feelings are your brain and body’s way of communicating with you - listen to them. If you take some time to feel your feelings with a sympathetic lens, you can better understand what’s wrong. While fixing it will be a lot longer of a journey, simply allowing your self to listen will be a good first step.
tourist@lemmy.world 1 year ago
stop smoking marijuana
preussischblau@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
So true, take edibles instead. Think of your lungs people.
BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Plus the high lasts for hours, which is it’s own boon or curse depending on your situation that day
zaphodb2002@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
No
Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 1 year ago
The last advice my therapist ever gave me will hang with me forever: “I you’re not willing to open up to me you won’t get much from these sessions.”
the_q@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Being kind to yourself is apparently pretty important.
Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 1 year ago
They tried to figure out which one of my sensory issues is tied to which one of my traumata. I’m autistic.
cley_faye@lemmy.world 1 year ago
“I think you should come here twice a week to work that out”
I’m not sure how that helps you though.
Broadfern@lemmy.world 1 year ago
“You don’t have to do everything all at once” and “it’s okay to have a meltdown when you get home” helped a lot to be honest
Inucune@lemmy.world 1 year ago
If my employer wants to be ‘like a family,’ then they shouldn’t have an issue with a meltdown on company time.
saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 1 year ago
They told me about a Dark Plagus dude and some tragedy. I spaced out but I’m pretty sure the lesson was to always keep partying.
Mk23simp@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 year ago
He told me that I need to find a new therapist.
garbagebagel@lemmy.world 1 year ago
That’s kind of better than continuing to charge you if he wasn’t vested in your improvement though.
Mk23simp@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 year ago
It’s not that, it’s that I’m moving to a different state and he’s not licensed to see patients in that state. :P
dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 1 year ago
“being aware of, and able to accurately diagnose the type of mental illness you’re dealing with is not the same thing as actually working to fix it”
And
“That’s bullshit. Honestly. That’s bullshit. Just because you can articulately attempt to justify it doesn’t mean it’s justified”
Also
“Sometimes things just suck and you have to deal with that for a long time”
H4rdStyl3z@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 year ago
Find a job as soon as possible so you can make yourself useful and you’ll feel better.
At this point I’m fully convinced therapy is about making you a cog in the machine of capitalism and not about making you feel better and more realized as a person.
pineapplelover@lemm.ee 1 year ago
I mean there’s truth in that though. It doesn’t need to be a cog in the machine, you could work for a non profit or something.
cattywampas@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Having a job and feeling useful is in no way exclusive to capitalism.
H4rdStyl3z@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 year ago
Sure, but reducing a person’s purpose to that (and their issues to a lack of it) is.
OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Mine just said, “You’re right, but thinking about it isn’t helping.”
I countered with, “People not thinking about it is why we’re here.”
They replied with, “Yeah, probably.”
“So what do I do?”
“What can one man do?”
“That’s what I’m paying you for. What can I do?”
“🤷♂️ Maybe stop listening to Democrats.”
Fucking hate Kentucky.
Also, I filed a complaint and didn’t go back; their practice is now closed, but I don’t know if it’s just because they moved to a different location or if they genuinely had to stop practicing. Haven’t really thought about it much.
garbagebagel@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Getting more involved with community movements has helped me in this respect 100x more than my therapist did.
It’s not their fault, there’s not that much they could’ve done for me anyway and they were very much on the same “were fucked this is all hopeless” boat as me.
match@pawb.social 1 year ago
good guy therapist: gives you some good to do in the world by being shitty so you can report them
OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 1 year ago
A different perspective. I like it.
cRazi_man@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Circle of influence vs circle of concern. The answer still lies within you to be able to calibrate your mind to be able to live through a shit situation, and do what you feel able to improve it.
OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Wow, ok, I don’t know what I did to make you attack me with logical philosophies like this but I’m sorry, Christ.
CalipherJones@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Compartmentalize all the horrors of life and it’s great!
OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Sounds super healthy! :-D
Can I give you money now?
JustJack23@slrpnk.net 1 year ago
Exactly the same conversation somehow except the democrats part
OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 1 year ago
It’s almost like the entire thing is some sort of scam to trick us into thinking that feelings of injustice is a sickness or something. Like someone somewhere would rather us just be okay with bad things happening around us to the point where they’d spend a significant amount of effort pushing pharmaceuticals and illicit substances to replace the chemicals we produce naturally when things are going well.
I know that sounds crazy, but that’s just how it seems sometimes. It’s really weird.
I mean, it’s not like they’re keeping track of people who have these disorders or anything.
#LOOKS AT U.S. GOVERNMENT
I mean, why would they do that?
#LOOKS AT ALCATRAZ
I’m sure it’s fine, haha
TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Haven’t really thought about it much
The system works
OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 1 year ago
So does shitting in a hole in the ground.
I don’t know what I mean by this; I just let the universe guide my fingers when I’m on here.
Vinny_93@lemmy.world 1 year ago
He said ‘I’ll see you next week’
Valmond@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Ok. See you next week then.
Sorgan71@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Bro just do it you wont. (I got a therapist from betterhelp)