saltnotsugar

@saltnotsugar@lemm.ee

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Explains crossfit⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  Waterboarded alien: Okay! In 2026, people will greet each other with wiggling arms and say “Rubber!!! Tiiiiiiime!”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Do it, I promise⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  …Hey!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Rawr⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Only 8 factor authentication is secure enough.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨LOVE THEM⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Select a unit and they shout out “MY LORD!” or something.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨7 for me⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Don’t forget the candle in case you have to investigate something.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Everyone loves some good food;⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Filet mignonut.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's very friendly and well behaved.⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Moo is French for woof.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Uber to introduce fixed-route shuttles in major US cities designed for commuters | TechCrunch⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  What we need is some kind of double decker traffic train thing.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Become ungovernable!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Physics says I can’t lift a train with my bare hands. Psh. Can’t tell ME what to do!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How I view others in social media⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Who else is watching this in 2025!?!?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Understanding your target audience when marketing⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I was uhhhh…trying to shampoo myself REALLY well.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨i broke⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  They told me about a Dark Plagus dude and some tragedy. I spaced out but I’m pretty sure the lesson was to always keep partying.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Did you know?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I didn’t get communist vibes from that book at all. The little guy was just trying to get the ring back to Mordor.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Onion be onioning again⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Safety first though!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Rate my setup⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Probably able to carry away more heat than water. I want to say the Soviets tried this with a submarine but the Royal navy kept stealing the sub for breakfast.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨glugluglug⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  What pox have you brought to this accursed land?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Release the fear⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  This is probably what Monet wanted to paint but he chickened out at the last minute every time.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨If it's good enough to keep your house warm, it's good enough to keep your insides warm⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I can never get my hands to itch and I breath too easily. There must be a better way!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Thats a polar bear⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Saxo Seal’s Greatest Hits Vol. 5

  • Seal of Love
  • You Clap I Toot
  • I’d Do It For A Fish
  • Slippery Blues
• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨no way⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s YOUR turn to jerk off into the ice cream!

  “Ugh! I friggin hate Mondays!!!”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Pelicans will literally try to eat anything⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  This is why pelicans are no longer allowed at the all you can eat buffet.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It must tremble⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I definitely make dramatic sound effects when playing with my cat.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Rev up those 3D printers!⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  So let’s do it like they do on the discovery channel!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨pope⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  HELLO. YOU’VE BEEN SELECTED AS…(raspy trucker voice) “Da next Pope”…PRESS 1 TO ACCEPT. PRESS 2 TO SPEAK TO A CARDINAL.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨They have to be stopped⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Step 1: Put it in wrong. Step 2: Put it in…wrong!?
  Step 3: Magically it works.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Philosophy moment⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I think if you sold off your stock before it became public information you’d be in deep poopie doopie.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Perplexity CEO says its browser will track everything users do online to sell 'hyper personalized' ads⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  For the last time I don’t want Jenna Haze shower curtains!!!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Holy shit, pick one already please⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Eat the food Tina! -Napoleon Pakistan maybe

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Geese on the roof⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Goose operative commander here. This is an advanced combat team involving a spotter and a shooter, likely attempting to gain a full loaf of bread.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I always appreciate someone helping me out using their hand⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  There are over five million Americans who won’t get a handjob tonight. Please consider donating.