saltnotsugar

@saltnotsugar@lemm.ee

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨no way⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s YOUR turn to jerk off into the ice cream!

  “Ugh! I friggin hate Mondays!!!”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Pelicans will literally try to eat anything⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  This is why pelicans are no longer allowed at the all you can eat buffet.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It must tremble⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I definitely make dramatic sound effects when playing with my cat.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Rev up those 3D printers!⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  So let’s do it like they do on the discovery channel!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨pope⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  HELLO. YOU’VE BEEN SELECTED AS…(raspy trucker voice) “Da next Pope”…PRESS 1 TO ACCEPT. PRESS 2 TO SPEAK TO A CARDINAL.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨They have to be stopped⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Step 1: Put it in wrong. Step 2: Put it in…wrong!?
  Step 3: Magically it works.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Philosophy moment⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I think if you sold off your stock before it became public information you’d be in deep poopie doopie.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Perplexity CEO says its browser will track everything users do online to sell 'hyper personalized' ads⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  For the last time I don’t want Jenna Haze shower curtains!!!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Holy shit, pick one already please⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Eat the food Tina! -Napoleon Pakistan maybe

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Geese on the roof⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Goose operative commander here. This is an advanced combat team involving a spotter and a shooter, likely attempting to gain a full loaf of bread.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I always appreciate someone helping me out using their hand⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  There are over five million Americans who won’t get a handjob tonight. Please consider donating.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Die Bart! Die!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Could you please sing the entire score of the HMS Pinafore?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  It has some bubba le grand.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Parkour!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I miss watching snail skate videos.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Behold, the latest unnecessary AI innovation⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  75% of the time it satisfies every time.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨My weekend plans⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  We have the slipperiest robot people around. Fuchs. Lube yo bots and yo bros.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨New Harry Potter series based on the "magic" of Weed⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  “Potter! How would I roll a blunt with the stickiest of the icky?” Professor Snape asked smoothly.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's about that time⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Sell it on eBay as extra refined banana jerky.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I do this all the time when both my hands are full and I'm a bit excited in my pants⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Please use boner to press button. This is NOT for dirty fingers. THANK YOU.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨This is not the post you're looking for⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  We can go about our business.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The history channel at 5 am⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  History channel: Could the nazis have turned the pyramids of Giza into unstoppable tanks? Most historians refuse to debate it!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Gimli Giblets⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Totally not for cloning!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Welcome, friend!⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  (Cicada bro screeching)
  Group of hot ladies: Oh wow. Is he single?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Get that Musky Grindset going⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I mean…if someone set up some kind of website like billionaireKOKshow.gov where people get paid vast amounts of billionaire dick money…it would be weird.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Say when⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  There is a land, known as (ethereal Dune soundtrack plays) the Midwest. A land where these breadsticks are gourmet.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Say when⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  The love making scene in Team America, but it’s just a bunch of breadsticks from Olive Garden.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨We are so cooked⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I know it’s likely pesticides, but have we officially ruled out bee assassins?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Caught Slacking⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Alas thy plan has failed, for my lips are as moist as a frog going down a waterslide in the rainforest.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨long⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Please please please let there be a long bacon store.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨ghibli posting⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Has technology reached it’s zenith?