saltnotsugar

@saltnotsugar@lemm.ee

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I do this all the time when both my hands are full and I'm a bit excited in my pants⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  Please use boner to press button. This is NOT for dirty fingers. THANK YOU.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨This is not the post you're looking for⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  We can go about our business.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The history channel at 5 am⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  History channel: Could the nazis have turned the pyramids of Giza into unstoppable tanks? Most historians refuse to debate it!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Gimli Giblets⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Totally not for cloning!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Welcome, friend!⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  (Cicada bro screeching)
  Group of hot ladies: Oh wow. Is he single?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Get that Musky Grindset going⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I mean…if someone set up some kind of website like billionaireKOKshow.gov where people get paid vast amounts of billionaire dick money…it would be weird.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Say when⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  There is a land, known as (ethereal Dune soundtrack plays) the Midwest. A land where these breadsticks are gourmet.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Say when⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  The love making scene in Team America, but it’s just a bunch of breadsticks from Olive Garden.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨We are so cooked⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I know it’s likely pesticides, but have we officially ruled out bee assassins?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Caught Slacking⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Alas thy plan has failed, for my lips are as moist as a frog going down a waterslide in the rainforest.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨long⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Please please please let there be a long bacon store.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨ghibli posting⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Has technology reached it’s zenith?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Big Marijuana don't want you to know...⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Drug cartels HATE him.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Fascinating and efficient new lamp design⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  What happens if you jerk it off?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨art rule⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Their butthole just follows your eyes around the room like a creepy painting.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Aptly named⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I had no idea that

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Watching snow white but its getting weird⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Hier kommt die Sonne

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Flushing⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  The toilet bowl is for loading and unloading ONLY.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Great Advice⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s okay to eat 5 rolls of sushi babe!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Imagine It.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Is this not what our forefathers first dreamed of when they looked up at the stars in wonder?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨House flipped⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Some “tough guy” divided by zero.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Had enough of my boring job. Now free lancing doing sculptures⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  The Virgin Mary witnessing the arrival of the alien armada.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Definitely wasn't late to work making this⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Number 6 always felt like a betrayal when you realized it wasn’t black.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨the pain of knowing you have no girlfriend but THIS door does⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  The “Just the Tip” system.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'm sure dolphins will fuck it up in their own special way.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Looks like the dolphins are- AND THE SNAILS ARE GETTING IN THE RING WITH STEEL CHAIRS!?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How did I get here?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Comrades, do you not yearn for more bananas? Let us screech and scratch!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨So jussi⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Tired of dry ass bread? Try some JussiPussi!!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Someone built a monument dedicated to those less endowed⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Back on 9/11 people kept their dicks limp out of respect.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'm gonna need more red colored crayons⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Just draw a line through the middle and call it East/West Fun-o-land.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨You're*⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  If it would please you, you are a most detestable wench with no lands or titles, and thy garden is that of a common Welshman.