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1994 white Kevin

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Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨ickplant@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/bc58f509-48d7-4b5c-8230-95d7e1ea2bb3.jpeg

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Comments

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  • ArtificialHoldings@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    This is routing from LaGuardia, meaning the “walking” route has you taking a subway. Maybe the walking buddy is a local NYC thing meant for people who want assistance navigating the trains.

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    • thatKamGuy@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I’m hoping (praying) that since this is a shitposting sub, you and I both are just particularly gullible and this is not an actual thing.

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      • ArtificialHoldings@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I thought for sure it was fake until I noticed the map was my neighborhood 😂

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  • Earflap@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Ah yes, the escort service.

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  • RymrgandsDaughter@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    About to rent me one

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  • a9cx34udP4ZZ0@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Why is the walking buddy holding hands? Are they letting you know Kevin is single and ready to mingle?

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  • robocall@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I would like this

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  • xia@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    “Drop off” makes it sound like he’ll carry you.

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  • rumba@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    You know… There’s a lot of women that wouldn’t dare to walk alone at night. That white Kevin has been vetted by Uber and has a paper trail.

    How about not just a white Kevin but an Armed Stacey, or a security guard Michelle.

    of course, it’d probably cost MORE to get someone to walk with you because they’d have to not only drive there and walk but walk back.

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    • stevedice@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Vetted by Uber doesn’t really mean much.

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      • SourGumGum@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Especially because there’s a huge industry for fake accounts so literally anyone can buy an uber ‘employment’.

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  • towelie@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    For $7.50 I’d unironically use a walking buddy at least once

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    • stoicmaverick@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      For safety in numbers, or talk therapy?

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      • stevedice@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Novelty?

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  • kcweller@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I feel awfully called out as a 1994 white Kevin…

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    • grrgyle@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Hahaha white Kev never can catch a break

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    • ramjambamalam@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDcFIP7ImVU

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  • INHALE_VEGETABLES@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Do they bring their own leash or can you use your own?

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    • Korhaka@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Can I use the one with the fuzzy collar?

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  • ERROR_100_000_100@infosec.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I know this is a parody, but:

    In the US, you might soon need a white “walking buddy” when they re-instate Jim Crow laws, because you wouldn’t be allowed to travel without a white man leading the group.

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    • justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I have some friends who have the same problem all their love because they are women.

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      • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Why substitute the word “life” or “lives” with “love?”

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    • nectar45@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      “I will be right there, I am just 3 white guys away from that place”

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    • AlecSadler@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Honestly in some areas of town late at night, I would totally make use of a service like this…

      …but I’d also expect the service be abused by people seeking people to harass.

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  • asudox@lemmy.asudox.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    rent a girlfriend?

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    • muusemuuse@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Dude there’s probably a business in that. People typically just get hookers for that weird situation where a rich powerful man has to go to an event and bring a plus one, and he can’t find a woman who doesn’t hate him so he has to rent one by the hour.

      Make it an app. Fuck it. Lets let the business majors ruin that too.

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      • aeshna_cyanea@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        there have been many attempts but unfortunately the evangelicals control the banks/payment processors so it hasn’t happened

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      • AlligatorBlizzard@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        They usually get escorts, which actually isn’t the same thing as a hooker and not all of them actually do sex work. I have no idea why I know anything about that, but it was something I was just kinda aware of as a young adult.

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  • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    The Excelsior line!

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  • jaybone@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Is uber not profitable?

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    • funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      unlike other comments, I’d argue, like most tech, it was incredibly profitable for anyone except the people funding it.

      Business is not about extracting money from goods and services, it’s about tricking VC funders to give you 50 million dollars a year

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    • theotherbelow@lemmynsfw.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Hilariously unprofitable. They even came up with creative accounting to show how, despite never being profitable they may turn a profit if you don’t count their debts and losses.

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      • barneypiccolo@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Uber’s true business model isn’t in place yet. Eventually, all cars will be self-driving, and they can ditch the drivers. The ultimate objective is to replace personal car ownership with a driving service.

        Once they don’t have to pay drivers, and they have monthly fees coming in from millions of subscribers, they’ll clean up.

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    • ryedaft@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Never had been Earth astronauts gun meme

      No, but fr Uber is a masterclass in creative accounting and strategic acquisitions for further creative accounting.

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    • Blackmist@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Their whole business model is “wait for self driving and then $$$” as they’ll no longer have to pay anybody.

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    • ickplant@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      “In 2023, Uber reported its first annual profit since going public in 2019, with a net income of $1.9 billion. This follows a period of consistent losses for the company.”

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  • thisfro@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Both see the same offer, neither get the money

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  • sommerset@thelemmy.club ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Is this real? I wouldn’t be surprised

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    • ickplant@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Nah, just a meme.

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  • qyron@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I don’t say this much but that is actually a good idea, considering the amount of people that live very lonely and isolated lives. Maybe this can help some people to talk, enjoy another’s company, etc. Maybe. Everything else the effing internet and tech companies tried only managed to push people apart…

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    • Mongostein@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Except that it gives predators an easy way to be alone with drunk women. I wouldn’t trust Uber’s security checks.

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      • dev_null@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        You don’t have to trust the security checks, but they had to submit their personal information and documents to Uber, and would be easy to find if they did anything. That’s much better than an anonymous stranger, and I doubt a predator would go through all that instead of just, you know, remaining an anonymous person on the street.

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      • qyron@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Same risk with a driver, I’d guess.

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    • MasterNerd@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Uber invented escorts

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      • qyron@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Revamped the concept.

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    • 96VXb9ktTjFnRi@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      sure, it’s nice to do something about loneliness. Makes me think of human libraries, where you can borrow a human to have a talk with. But please, let’s do these things voluntarily and not for profit. There’s something nasty about “I’m only willing to speak to you if you pay me”.

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      • qyron@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Isn’t that a japanese thing? With cafes where you go to talk with a person?

        But back to the subject at hand.

        I could see this as a way to get someone’s help to take some groceries home or some large object a single person can’t, as it is too akward to hold alone.

        Or as a personal guide or to have company to go to/through somewhere someone does not feel comfortable.

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  • wabafee@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Did not know Uber entering to pimp industry.

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  • Num10ck@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    apps.apple.com/us/app/…/id6470935291

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  • Snejp@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Is the hand holding optional or?

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    • SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Your preference will be determined through biometrics and you will be billed on a scale determine by your Uber rating.

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    • Klear@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Compulsory.

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  • boonhet@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    For the first time, I saw a car with Uber stickers in my country. Wanted to peel them off, but I also don’t wanna get in a fight over it. Pretty sure it’ll mostly be used by foreigners because the local alternative has several years of advantage and is also a multinational now.

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    • match@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      friend, if i gotta burn down shit while facing forced disappearance to el salvador, you’d better be peeling the corporatists’ stickers off cars to protect your local alternative

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      • boonhet@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Friend, I live at least 7 timezones away from you. I appreciate you burning shit down, but the people who voted the orange fascist into power are your friends and family, not me.

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    • qwerty@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Why?

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  • AntiBullyRanger@ani.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    OP is such a damn troll, lmfao.

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  • lowleveldata@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    so that you can google map together?

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    • Quill7513@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      i assume, if this were real, which it isn’t, the idea would be that everyone on the app has to pass a background check, so if you’re walking through an unfamiliar neighborhood and you’re a class of person who has reason to fear walking alone, you’d have someone there with you to help you be just a little more safe. obviously not as good as an actual trusted friend, but for certain people in certain situations, better than nothing

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      • SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        So they can’t hire anyone in the class of people who’d have reason to fear walking around in certain neighborhoods?

        Women, trans men, and certain minority groups would be discriminated against in their hiring? Or would using this service come with the risk of someone that’s more likely to get you targeted?

        I feel like this wouldn’t work for many reasons.

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      • Death_Equity@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        A lot of people can pass a background check that you wouldn’t want to escort your daughter.

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  • JeSuisUnHombre@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Honestly this is a great joke but also could legitimately be a good service for someone who didn’t feel safe walking alone, or needs help navigating

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    • BussyCat@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Speaking as a person who does not fit the demographic for this service, the big problem I see with it is how you trust that the walking buddy is actually going to be safer than nothing. Uber drivers are somewhat regularly in the news for assaulting women and I know several women that don’t like riding them alone

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    • biscuitswalrus@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      You’re right, this is a great services for predators to register.

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      • SouthEndSunset@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        It’s a great idea. This is the shit side of it.

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    • stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      how can it be this cheap though? sure it doesn’t require gas but it takes longer so the guy would need more pay for the service right?

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      • explodicle@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        If they actually matched up with the routes other people might take, I would do it. I’m always walking around downtown anyways, but I’m a relatively large poor-looking man so I never get hassled.

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      • wunami@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        The business model is to make it cheap initially by subsidizing it with investor capital. So, the gig worker may be paid more than the user is being charged. Then, eventually raise the price once the user base is large enough and dependent enough on it (or the prior alternative is sufficiently put out of business).

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    • KoboldCoterie@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Especially if they’d help carry your bags and whatnot; that could be very helpful for someone who has mobility issues or just has a lot of things they need to bring. Well worth $7.50

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    • Cyclist@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      A lot of university campuses have this. It’s a good idea.

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      • chiliedogg@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        My school had a number you could call and they’d dispatch a golf cart with 2 student workers to take you anywhere on campus for free, 24/7 (minus holidays and breaks when University offices were cosed).

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      • barneypiccolo@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I found out in my senior year, that my campus had been plagued by a serial rapist for several years, going back to before i was a freshman, and the school had covered it up. I only found out about it when i learned that my roommate’s girlfriend had a sorority sister on a full-ride scholarship to keep her quiet about being raped in her freshman year.

        Suddenly, the pressure to use their chaperone service became clear.

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      • exasperation@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        John Mulaney has a joke about how his parents knew Bill Clinton that way, from all going to undergrad together at Georgetown. Apparently all the women loved being escorted by Bill Clinton, and the men were all jealous.

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      • Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        They probably don’t charge money for that service though, and that’s a better idea.

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  • db2@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    It’s at least 5 years old and it seems every single year the news outlets “fact check” it and declare it false.

    Meanwhile we have actual conspiracy theories on official government websites and those same outlets say nothing.

    I hate this timeline.

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    • VitoRobles@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      There’s been jokes that end up becoming reality so yearly fact-checks is appreciated

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