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Guinness wasn't proud of this one.

⁨450⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/0b2947ff-3f87-4179-967d-5c3ca4f0aad8.jpeg

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Comments

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  • redlemace@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I only feel sorry for the Guinness World Record judge

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    • Billy_fuccboi@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I just imagine them being very clinical about it. Just standing there with a clicker in one hand and a timer in the other.

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      • redlemace@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Yet 48hrs before the ‘event’ at Guiness HQ

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      • hOrni@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        You gotta at least wear eye protection.

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      • finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        “Wait a minute, sir, I have to call my boss. Walter, do we count dry orgasms?”

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    • diffaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Imagine the smell 🤢

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      • slothrop@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Pineappley?

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  • new_guy@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    That’s one jerk every 9 minutes.

    I can only imagine the pain in their balls and arm they must’ve felt after a while.

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    • bizarroland@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Their prostate must have looked like a dehydrated pumpkin Image

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      • jade52@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        This pumpkin looks how I feel

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      • phx@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Their dick probably didn’t look much better. Even with lube that’s gonna chaff after awhile and probably took off at least a layer of skin

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  • Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Image

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    • Fedizen@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Professional wankers switch hands every five minutes. It helps to rest each arm each session.

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      • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        That’s a gooner move, resets the clock so you can go longer

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      • UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Feels like a different person

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    • Hupf@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Image

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  • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of women masterbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

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    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      y’all should try to break the record.

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      • GladiusB@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Collectively they may have

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  • gigastasio@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    “…after the previous holder died from his last attempt.”

    He died doing what he loved…

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    • anomnom@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      …Himself

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  • PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Image

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    • robocall@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Image

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      • Fedizen@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Image

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  • FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    don’t they send someone over to watch you break the record

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    • HowAbt2day@futurology.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Not just one but a bunch of nuts cum over.

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  • LurkingLuddite@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Fake. 36 red bulls would literally kill a horse, let alone a human, even if they weighed as much as a horse.

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    • python@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Horses die from the dumbest shit tho

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      • Texas_Hangover@lemmy.radio ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Lol, can’t their stomach’s like literally flip upside down and fuck everything up?

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    • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      The LD50 for caffeine in humans is 150-200mg/kg, so if you weighed only 36kg, that ain’t enough caffeine to kill you.

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      • LurkingLuddite@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Go ahead and test those numbers yourself.bReport back to us how 20 grams of caffeine goes.

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    • redlemace@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Nah … The info is not 100% conclusive but it’s a huge risk to say the least. Still, there is more that does not add up. 36 can’s equals 9 Liters (304 US ounce) of red bull … Try washing down 9 Liters of a super sugary (lightly-) carbonated drink.

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      • stormeuh@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        The sugar could kill you in the long term, but I think here it’s the caffeine you should worry about.

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    • BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      And claiming that the story is fake because “36 red bulls would literally kill a horse” is just plain old hyperbole.

      While I’m not big on equine nephrology, or veteranary physiology in general even, I suppose that it’s reasonable to assume, that not 100% of horses would survive ingesting the caffeine equivalent of 14l of coffee at once. But going from “some horses would die from this” to “this story is definitely fake” is just bad reasoning.

      Sure, it’s reasonable to question the story, but dismissing it because a horse couldn’t do the same? WTF?

      Not every horse, human, or humpback whale would survive consuming 36 red bulls. But it’s not unreasonable to assume that a majority of humans would survive.

      Personally I want to believe the story, if for nothing else than it’s not a story about how the world is going to shit.

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  • hOrni@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    He must have very soft hands, I’m usually chafed after 6.

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    • FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      omg they could split this record into two categories - with lube/lotion or without.

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      • swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Uncircumcised guys get a huge boost in the “without” category

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  • mossberg590@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

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    • robocall@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      haha pump

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  • CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I can’t find the news article, so this might be fake. But I did find this.

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  • Azrael@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I’m pretty sure 36 cans of Red Bull would kill you. Humans can’t handle that much caffeine.

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    • Simulation6@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Can’t find the Death by Caffeine site (or they changed it) any more, but this one says 5 Red Bulls max per day for a 175lb person.

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      • Azrael@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        That seems right. The lethal dose of caffeine is 100mg per kilogram of bodyweight.

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  • Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Image

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    • mEEGal@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I know a challenging fap when I see one

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  • possumparty@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Implying he would use lotion instead of lube. Fucking amateurs. If you’re a frequent wanker and you haven’t graduated to real fuckin lube then you’re a bit of a joke.

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  • zexyqag@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    How do they measure an orgasm?

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    • tomi000@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Multiple judges must be present and observing closely. They are experts in distinguishing moans

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  • HexesofVexes@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    2 short of true headline greatness.

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  • MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I bet he didn’t even use Margaret Thatcher’s Boner Smasher.

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    • bear@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      fasc-light

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  • NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    He could have easily hit 80 if he was drinking C4.

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  • WanderWisley@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    In west Philadelphia born and raised…

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  • daggermoon@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I’d be afraid my dick would explode

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  • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Did not know you could die doing that…

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    • OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You can certainly come to a sudden conclusion.

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  • FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Are they taking his word for it or did somebody watch to verify?

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  • VibeSurgeon@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The arch-gooner

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  • diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Imagine the friction burns

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