I got onboard the bidet train during the Covid lockdown. Simple to add on at my apartment. It was my #1 request when I moved to my GF’s house. We replaced the whole toilet with the upgrades.
Clean butt
Submitted 1 year ago by cm0002@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/8202d4f9-4538-4464-b597-020fd9221bc2.jpeg
Comments
MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 11 months ago
spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 months ago
It took one of my partners having surgery before they agreed to let me install a bidet. Never have I been so happy to strut around and say “I told you so” once they both tried it and realized bidets are awesome.
MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Once you go bidet, you’ll have a happy day.
GladiusB@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Yup. Same. Feels way better. It’s just like taking a shower after every dump.
MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Yay, bidet!
Doctor_Satan@lemm.ee 11 months ago
“Hey, if some caked-up mud pie got on your face, would you just wipe it off with a dry piece of tissue and call it a day? No! You’d wash it. So why is your butthole any different?” - Detective Allen Gamble, ‘The Other Guys’
uniquethrowagay@feddit.org 11 months ago
My butthole is very different from my face and I hope that is true for everyone else as well
Shardikprime@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Lip skin is the same as butthole skin
Be kind
Bidet and wipe
StJohnMcCrae@slrpnk.net 11 months ago
Different enough that you don’t mind having shit smeared all around it?
frezik@midwest.social 11 months ago
I like the bidet’s we have at home, but I don’t get the ones that are separate from the toilet. Saw this type when visiting San Juan, PR once. Their plumbing system can’t handle toilet paper very well, so it’s all bidets with a stack of washed towels.
Not only do they take up extra space in the bathroom, but are you supposed to waddle over to this thing with a dingleberry hanging out?
The one argument I’ve heard in their favor is from people with vaginas who don’t like the idea of the built-in sprayer catching bits of poop that’ll get in their cootch.
Scrollone@feddit.it 11 months ago
[deleted]some_dude@lemm.ee 11 months ago
A world with people? With vaginas?
ArtemisimetrA@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Not all vagina-havers are women is the point you seem to be missing.
7toed@midwest.social 11 months ago
Reading this on a toilet without a bidet :(
Please send your prayers
TheRealLinga@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Thought and prayers 🙏
Norgoroth@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I love spraying flecks of poo all over the handle so the next guy touches my poo flecks, very euro sanitary
null@slrpnk.net 11 months ago
How would you even manage to do that?
Norgoroth@lemmy.world 11 months ago
When you spray your asshole with a high pressure stream of water it sends flecks of poo into the air
7toed@midwest.social 11 months ago
Ew its a bidet, not an enema dude
ikidd@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Not with that attitude, it isn’t.
psx_crab@lemmy.zip 11 months ago
Skill issue.
B4kst33n@lemmy.world 11 months ago
So, maybe I’m missing something here, but bidets don’t seem all that great? Everyone on the internet is always proclaiming life changing experiences with these things. However, when I recently used them they don’t seem to do very much. My butthole is still poopy and when I wipe to dry my ass the toilet paper tears.
VitoRobles@lemmy.today 11 months ago
I was like you a few years ago.
The crappy ones feel like that.
Then I sat on a fancy one that sang me a lullaby and gave me positive encouragement as I pooped. My god, my entire butthole is so fresh.
I now understand.
StJohnMcCrae@slrpnk.net 11 months ago
Operator error.
Shardikprime@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Clearly needs more hydro pressure
swampdownloader@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
Some are better than others in both power and nozzle angle/placement. Sometimes you have to shimmy to get the angle just right if the power is low. It should result in a wipe in which no fecal matter remains, only wetness, if executed properly.
fishy@lemmy.today 11 months ago
Exactly. There’s a learning curve but once you’ve got it, you dread wipe only bathrooms. Installed a bidet on one of my toilets six months ago and now that’s the only toilet anybody in the house poops in unless it’s already occupied.
bluewing@lemm.ee 11 months ago
You need to use the power washer setting. Takes the paint right off the wall…
LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
Low water pressure maybe? Mines a real cheap one and I’ve never had issues with not being clean after. I do usually get stronger toilet paper, but I only use a roll or two a month. I wouldn’t say it’s life changing, but I do prefer it. Also has saved me a lot on tp
Piemanding@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Yes and also mine takes 30+ seconds to properly clean so make sure you take your time.
Elkot@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Had my first experience of a bidet in Japan but not just that, the toilet seat was heated too, that was my first dump after landing
bluewing@lemm.ee 11 months ago
That’s what I love about mine. Automatic lid raise and lower as you walk in, heated ring and water, (both adjustable temp), air dry, (again heated), and charcoal filtered air filtration to minimize the stench from that drive through burrito.
It’s the posh life. Very nearly the equal to having your own chamberlain.
leftover@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Humm, I see you enjoy Toto. The king of home Bidets!
Teppichbrand@feddit.org 11 months ago
This is from a German shop but I’m sure you’ll find this everywhere. It’s dirt cheap and or family uses it daily for years.
lewdian69@lemmy.world 11 months ago
If it’s tapped directly into the ice cold water line that sounds terrible. Gotta save up and spring for ceramic instant water heating.
Teppichbrand@feddit.org 11 months ago
Nah, it’s great, seriously. Saves me a cup of coffee in the morning. :)
Doctor_Satan@lemm.ee 11 months ago
This is the kind I have, and I will never not have one again.
And009@lemmynsfw.com 11 months ago
Plastic doesn’t rust, sometimes it’s better.
CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Well you could hire a maid, and they pour toilet bowl cleaner onto it. Even after you told them not to. Now the plastic is eaten away, and you have to replace it.
kameecoding@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I think this is better than whats mounted into the toilet, because well sooner or later you get one of those days when shit flies everywhere and then enjoy cleaning the nozzle, meanwhile these things are usually just attached to the side of the toilet pr to the wall and no danger of it getting shit on barring extreme circumstances
spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 months ago
Lol, maybe in a shit (pun intended) bidet. Mine is mounted under the toilet seat and self cleans before and after spraying. Also, I can have it set to hit my butthole instead of trying to plains aim and spraying water and shit where it doesn’t need to be.
Plus, mine has heated water, so I don’t feel like I’m gonna get frostbite on my butthole in the dead of winter.
LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
Even the cheap ones have a self clean setting. It just sprays water down the nozzle, and is between on and off. Turn it to that for a second and then off. Never had an issue. When I clean the toilet I use the same brush to glance over it, but really it stays clean on its own
random_character_a@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Bidet causes vampirism?
MajesticElevator@lemmy.zip 11 months ago
Anyone got bidets to recommend (full toilets or kit to install on top of current toilets)?
LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
I’ve had this for a year and no issues. Takes 5 mins to install and anyone can do it. $35 after tax. I think I got it for 27 or something last year. If you don’t like it after a while, your not out much. But Ive saved more than $35 in toilet paper since I’ve got it
Burghler@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
I got a Brondell bidet from Costco for like $80. It’s just the seat and it’s pretty fancy slick with how it self cleans and hides/reveals itself while having no electricity going on. Just have to make sure that if you want hot water you’ll have to connect it to the sink waterline. I didn’t do that and the cold wasn’t a problem after a few uses getting comfortable.
Worst case just return it if you don’t like it.
macaw_dean_settle@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I got my Brondell bidet from Amazon and it cost $20.
WraithGear@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I got an $80 one from Home Depot. And it was the second best purchase i have made. It really didn’t have to be expensive… but i did try to buy one on Amazon… and it was designed to fail, so i recommend just going to get one at a store
13igTyme@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Can also wash your ass in the shower.
null@slrpnk.net 11 months ago
You shower after every shit?
rmuk@feddit.uk 11 months ago
Yeah, but some people shit thrice daily.
iamdisappoint@reddthat.com 11 months ago
Heck yeah!
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
smol_beans@lemmy.world 11 months ago
If I got shit on my arm I would wash it with soap, there’s no soap in a bidet so I don’t get this argument
suodrazah@lemmy.world 11 months ago
By that logic, why wash it off at all? Why do anything?
xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
But with a bidet, you do have an option with soap since it can be rinsed (which I believe is the norm in my poor ass country, be it bidet or good ol’ dipper). I don’t normally wipe soap with a tissue.
Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
I don’t know about you but I don’t wipe my anus on my face or use it to pick up food. No judgement though.
SuperSaiyanSwag@lemmy.zip 11 months ago
But I sit on my couch and bed, where I sometimes lay. I know there is a layer of clothing, but sweat is a thing.
some_dude@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Do you ever have someone’s face near your junk?
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Me either, but I would still prefer it to be clean.
besmtt@lemmy.world 11 months ago
🤌
60d@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
An actual shit post lol
pacology@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Why are you using a French dude in the pictures when everyone knows they don’t use bidets?
papalonian@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I was literally getting my ass sprayed when I opened this meme.
some_dude@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Check out this dude/dudette, having sex while on the internet!
MyDogLovesMe@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I’ve brought bidets awesomeness in groups before.
It is immediately apparent who is “in the club” and who is not.
Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Soon. Soon.
theunknownmuncher@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Clean butt club!
shalafi@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Installed one for my wife when she moved it, never used it. At this point I’ve forgotten it’s even there. Talk about old habits dying hard.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Not pictured: the wet spot on the back of their pants.
Seriously, how do bidet enjoyers dry their asses?
shalafi@lemmy.world 1 year ago
My wife blots with a bit of TP and tosses it in the trash can. Guessing plumbing is more sensitive where she’s from.
nimble@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 year ago
Sit for a minute or two to air dry and then use a towel or few pieces of toilet paper to touch up any wet spot. Still much less toilet paper than if you didn’t use a Bidet.
Also some Bidets have actual blowers lol.
WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
Why is my ass always itching?
Because you don’t wash it, you dumbass.
kruhmaster@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
fuck yeah
Kolonel_Kahlua@lemmy.world 1 year ago
raod_guitar@feddit.org 1 year ago
I’m using one of those hand squeezer bidets and yes, it’s great. Ever wiped your ass until it was sore? That’s because some little shit pebbles refuse to get out. With a bidet you can shoot those motherfuckers directly out of your rectum.
pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
My friend has one of those Japanese ones. It also has a warmed toilet seat. When I came out, I said that seat is amazing and they said people never come out of there. I proposed that they were napping on the seat. Why do seat warmers feel so good? The thing is, I could never figure out how to make the actual bidet part work. I suspect the people who took a long time were also trying to test it out, but didn’t know how. Or maybe they did and enjoyed it?
Omgboom@lemmy.zip 1 year ago
Bidets are amazing. If you don’t have one you should go buy one, they start fairly low priced
rustyfish@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Yes.
Tattorack@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Bottle of water. Wash with hand.
Teppichbrand@feddit.org 11 months ago
Punch a hole in the neck of a small water bottle using a (hot) needle or a cork screw. Fill the bottle with water, close the lit and spray your ass by holding the bottle upside down and squeezing it. I used this 1$ Ghetto-Bidet for years!
zarathustrad@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Nice for emergencies, but an actual bidet is like $10-20 and install takes less than 5min (10 if you count watching a YouTube on how to do it.)