I got onboard the bidet train during the Covid lockdown. Simple to add on at my apartment. It was my #1 request when I moved to my GF’s house. We replaced the whole toilet with the upgrades.
Clean butt
Submitted 1 day ago by cm0002@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/8202d4f9-4538-4464-b597-020fd9221bc2.jpeg
Comments
MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
GladiusB@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
Yup. Same. Feels way better. It’s just like taking a shower after every dump.
MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
Yay, bidet!
Doctor_Satan@lemm.ee 12 hours ago
“Hey, if some caked-up mud pie got on your face, would you just wipe it off with a dry piece of tissue and call it a day? No! You’d wash it. So why is your butthole any different?” - Detective Allen Gamble, ‘The Other Guys’
uniquethrowagay@feddit.org 7 hours ago
My butthole is very different from my face and I hope that is true for everyone else as well
Shardikprime@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
Lip skin is the same as butthole skin
Be kind
Bidet and wipe
StJohnMcCrae@slrpnk.net 7 hours ago
Different enough that you don’t mind having shit smeared all around it?
Omgboom@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
Bidets are amazing. If you don’t have one you should go buy one, they start fairly low priced
garbagebagel@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
Paid $50 for mine like 7 years ago. Is it fancy? Heck no. Does it clean my butt real good? Heck yes.
When I can afford a fancy heated, air drying bidet that will be my goalpost of success.
SuperSaiyanSwag@lemmy.zip 3 hours ago
I honestly got used to the regular temp one. So much so that when I moved and the new house came with the fancier bidet, I just ended up using regular water every time.
Botzo@lemmy.world 21 hours ago
I started with a $30 cheapo 10 years ago and it was life changing. Last year I got a stupid expensive one. Like, has a night light, auto flush (because I got the matching toilet), auto lid, heated seat, heated water, deodorizer, wireless remote, etc. (Toto S7A)
Just so you’re prepared, the air dry doesn’t fully replace the pat dry entirely unless you’re gonna sit there for a good long time.
That said, I have no regrets.
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 22 hours ago
smol_beans@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
If I got shit on my arm I would wash it with soap, there’s no soap in a bidet so I don’t get this argument
Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 13 hours ago
I don’t know about you but I don’t wipe my anus on my face or use it to pick up food. No judgement though.
SuperSaiyanSwag@lemmy.zip 3 hours ago
But I sit on my couch and bed, where I sometimes lay. I know there is a layer of clothing, but sweat is a thing.
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 10 hours ago
Me either, but I would still prefer it to be clean.
some_dude@lemm.ee 5 hours ago
Do you ever have someone’s face near your junk?
besmtt@lemmy.world 19 hours ago
🤌
B4kst33n@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
So, maybe I’m missing something here, but bidets don’t seem all that great? Everyone on the internet is always proclaiming life changing experiences with these things. However, when I recently used them they don’t seem to do very much. My butthole is still poopy and when I wipe to dry my ass the toilet paper tears.
VitoRobles@lemmy.today 1 hour ago
I was like you a few years ago.
The crappy ones feel like that.
Then I sat on a fancy one that sang me a lullaby and gave me positive encouragement as I pooped. My god, my entire butthole is so fresh.
I now understand.
StJohnMcCrae@slrpnk.net 7 hours ago
Operator error.
Shardikprime@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
Clearly needs more hydro pressure
swampdownloader@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 hours ago
Some are better than others in both power and nozzle angle/placement. Sometimes you have to shimmy to get the angle just right if the power is low. It should result in a wipe in which no fecal matter remains, only wetness, if executed properly.
fishy@lemmy.today 9 hours ago
Exactly. There’s a learning curve but once you’ve got it, you dread wipe only bathrooms. Installed a bidet on one of my toilets six months ago and now that’s the only toilet anybody in the house poops in unless it’s already occupied.
bluewing@lemm.ee 12 hours ago
You need to use the power washer setting. Takes the paint right off the wall…
LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 hours ago
Low water pressure maybe? Mines a real cheap one and I’ve never had issues with not being clean after. I do usually get stronger toilet paper, but I only use a roll or two a month. I wouldn’t say it’s life changing, but I do prefer it. Also has saved me a lot on tp
Piemanding@sh.itjust.works 12 hours ago
Yes and also mine takes 30+ seconds to properly clean so make sure you take your time.
7toed@midwest.social 12 hours ago
Reading this on a toilet without a bidet :(
Please send your prayers
TheRealLinga@sh.itjust.works 11 hours ago
Thought and prayers 🙏
frezik@midwest.social 12 hours ago
I like the bidet’s we have at home, but I don’t get the ones that are separate from the toilet. Saw this type when visiting San Juan, PR once. Their plumbing system can’t handle toilet paper very well, so it’s all bidets with a stack of washed towels.
Not only do they take up extra space in the bathroom, but are you supposed to waddle over to this thing with a dingleberry hanging out?
The one argument I’ve heard in their favor is from people with vaginas who don’t like the idea of the built-in sprayer catching bits of poop that’ll get in their cootch.
Scrollone@feddit.it 10 hours ago
“people with vaginas”, what a world we’re living in
some_dude@lemm.ee 5 hours ago
A world with people? With vaginas?
ArtemisimetrA@lemm.ee 5 hours ago
Not all vagina-havers are women is the point you seem to be missing.
WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Why is my ass always itching?
Because you don’t wash it, you dumbass.
60d@lemmy.ca 23 hours ago
An actual shit post lol
Elkot@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
Had my first experience of a bidet in Japan but not just that, the toilet seat was heated too, that was my first dump after landing
bluewing@lemm.ee 12 hours ago
That’s what I love about mine. Automatic lid raise and lower as you walk in, heated ring and water, (both adjustable temp), air dry, (again heated), and charcoal filtered air filtration to minimize the stench from that drive through burrito.
It’s the posh life. Very nearly the equal to having your own chamberlain.
leftover@lemm.ee 10 hours ago
Humm, I see you enjoy Toto. The king of home Bidets!
Teppichbrand@feddit.org 18 hours ago
This is from a German shop but I’m sure you’ll find this everywhere. It’s dirt cheap and or family uses it daily for years.
lewdian69@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
If it’s tapped directly into the ice cold water line that sounds terrible. Gotta save up and spring for ceramic instant water heating.
kameecoding@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
I think this is better than whats mounted into the toilet, because well sooner or later you get one of those days when shit flies everywhere and then enjoy cleaning the nozzle, meanwhile these things are usually just attached to the side of the toilet pr to the wall and no danger of it getting shit on barring extreme circumstances
LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 hours ago
Even the cheap ones have a self clean setting. It just sprays water down the nozzle, and is between on and off. Turn it to that for a second and then off. Never had an issue. When I clean the toilet I use the same brush to glance over it, but really it stays clean on its own
And009@lemmynsfw.com 16 hours ago
Plastic doesn’t rust, sometimes it’s better.
CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 15 hours ago
Well you could hire a maid, and they pour toilet bowl cleaner onto it. Even after you told them not to. Now the plastic is eaten away, and you have to replace it.
Doctor_Satan@lemm.ee 12 hours ago
This is the kind I have, and I will never not have one again.
doug@lemmy.today 1 day ago
Bidet with a quiet-close toilet seat 🧑🍳💋
Botzo@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
Auto lid, auto flush checking in.
Yes, I’m spoiled.
Mobiuthuselah@lemm.ee 21 hours ago
Wiping like a pleb when you travel and slamming the seat.
MyDogLovesMe@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I’ve brought bidets awesomeness in groups before.
It is immediately apparent who is “in the club” and who is not.
pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
My friend has one of those Japanese ones. It also has a warmed toilet seat. When I came out, I said that seat is amazing and they said people never come out of there. I proposed that they were napping on the seat. Why do seat warmers feel so good? The thing is, I could never figure out how to make the actual bidet part work. I suspect the people who took a long time were also trying to test it out, but didn’t know how. Or maybe they did and enjoyed it?
9point6@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Japanese toilets are so far beyond what we’re doing anywhere else in the world it’s not even funny
Wtaf have our toilet scientists been doing for the last century in the western world?
RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 19 hours ago
Trying to get people to sit the right way on the toliet.
DJDarren@sopuli.xyz 1 day ago
It’s as easy as using two shells.
get_the_reference_@midwest.social 7 hours ago
Thanks a lot you shit-brained, fuck-faced, ball breaking, duck fucking pain in the ass.
Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 1 day ago
What’s the third one for
pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
I remember it being a meme, but I couldn’t remember which one. For the uninformed like me: knowyourmeme.com/memes/three-seashells
QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works 21 hours ago
Mom, dad, I’m gay. Also that heated toilet seat is amazing.
Norgoroth@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
I love spraying flecks of poo all over the handle so the next guy touches my poo flecks, very euro sanitary
7toed@midwest.social 12 hours ago
Ew its a bidet, not an enema dude
psx_crab@lemmy.zip 13 hours ago
Skill issue.
null@slrpnk.net 11 hours ago
How would you even manage to do that?
Norgoroth@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
When you spray your asshole with a high pressure stream of water it sends flecks of poo into the air
recently_Coco@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
Me
pacology@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
Why are you using a French dude in the pictures when everyone knows they don’t use bidets?
Kolonel_Kahlua@lemmy.world 1 day ago
get_the_reference_@midwest.social 7 hours ago
I went to paper high school, then baby wipes college. Let me know when you get your PhD from bidet university, then we’ll talk.
Kolonel_Kahlua@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
This. This one right here. I upvoted.
Mobiuthuselah@lemm.ee 21 hours ago
Stop kidding yourself
Kolonel_Kahlua@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
Missed opportunity on “Stop skidding yourself”.
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 23 hours ago
Amateur hour.
raod_guitar@feddit.org 1 day ago
I’m using one of those hand squeezer bidets and yes, it’s great. Ever wiped your ass until it was sore? That’s because some little shit pebbles refuse to get out. With a bidet you can shoot those motherfuckers directly out of your rectum.
DJDarren@sopuli.xyz 1 day ago
We’ve got one of those ones that attaches to a regular toilet, and I gotta say that it’s fucking wonderful.
However. The water pressure in our house can be kinda weird. Mostly it’s normal, but sometimes it’s like a jet washer for a few seconds. And those few seconds after you’ve first opened the bidet are like getting reamed out by a Karcher.
wanderwisley@lemm.ee 1 day ago
Remember you don’t have to clean your whole ass. You just have to clean your ass’s hole.
papalonian@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I was literally getting my ass sprayed when I opened this meme.
theunknownmuncher@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Clean butt club!
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Not pictured: the wet spot on the back of their pants.
Seriously, how do bidet enjoyers dry their asses?
benignintervention@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Am
random_character_a@lemmy.world 19 hours ago
Bidet causes vampirism?
MajesticElevator@lemmy.zip 19 hours ago
Anyone got bidets to recommend (full toilets or kit to install on top of current toilets)?
Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Soon. Soon.
iamdisappoint@reddthat.com 20 hours ago
Heck yeah!
Tattorack@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
Bottle of water. Wash with hand.