Clean butt
Submitted 2 months ago by cm0002@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/8202d4f9-4538-4464-b597-020fd9221bc2.jpeg
Comments
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
besmtt@lemmy.world 1 month ago
🤌
Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 1 month ago
I don’t know about you but I don’t wipe my anus on my face or use it to pick up food. No judgement though.
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Me either, but I would still prefer it to be clean.
SuperSaiyanSwag@lemmy.zip 1 month ago
But I sit on my couch and bed, where I sometimes lay. I know there is a layer of clothing, but sweat is a thing.
some_dude@lemm.ee 1 month ago
Do you ever have someone’s face near your junk?
smol_beans@lemmy.world 1 month ago
If I got shit on my arm I would wash it with soap, there’s no soap in a bidet so I don’t get this argument
suodrazah@lemmy.world 1 month ago
By that logic, why wash it off at all? Why do anything?
xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
But with a bidet, you do have an option with soap since it can be rinsed (which I believe is the norm in my poor ass country, be it bidet or good ol’ dipper). I don’t normally wipe soap with a tissue.
WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Why is my ass always itching?
Because you don’t wash it, you dumbass.
MisterFrog@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Do people not wash daily? This seems like a general hygiene issue, and not that closely correlated with bidet use.
Source: I have never used a bidet, and my butt does not itch, ya know, because I wash daily?
doug@lemmy.today 2 months ago
Bidet with a quiet-close toilet seat 🧑🍳💋
Mobiuthuselah@lemm.ee 1 month ago
Wiping like a pleb when you travel and slamming the seat.
Botzo@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Auto lid, auto flush checking in.
Yes, I’m spoiled.
Doctor_Satan@lemm.ee 1 month ago
“Hey, if some caked-up mud pie got on your face, would you just wipe it off with a dry piece of tissue and call it a day? No! You’d wash it. So why is your butthole any different?” - Detective Allen Gamble, ‘The Other Guys’
uniquethrowagay@feddit.org 1 month ago
My butthole is very different from my face and I hope that is true for everyone else as well
StJohnMcCrae@slrpnk.net 1 month ago
Different enough that you don’t mind having shit smeared all around it?
Shardikprime@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Lip skin is the same as butthole skin
Be kind
Bidet and wipe
60d@lemmy.ca 1 month ago
An actual shit post lol
MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I got onboard the bidet train during the Covid lockdown. Simple to add on at my apartment. It was my #1 request when I moved to my GF’s house. We replaced the whole toilet with the upgrades.
GladiusB@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Yup. Same. Feels way better. It’s just like taking a shower after every dump.
MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Yay, bidet!
spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 month ago
It took one of my partners having surgery before they agreed to let me install a bidet. Never have I been so happy to strut around and say “I told you so” once they both tried it and realized bidets are awesome.
MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Once you go bidet, you’ll have a happy day.
7toed@midwest.social 1 month ago
Reading this on a toilet without a bidet :(
Please send your prayers
TheRealLinga@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Thought and prayers 🙏
B4kst33n@lemmy.world 1 month ago
So, maybe I’m missing something here, but bidets don’t seem all that great? Everyone on the internet is always proclaiming life changing experiences with these things. However, when I recently used them they don’t seem to do very much. My butthole is still poopy and when I wipe to dry my ass the toilet paper tears.
StJohnMcCrae@slrpnk.net 1 month ago
Operator error.
Shardikprime@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Clearly needs more hydro pressure
swampdownloader@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 month ago
Some are better than others in both power and nozzle angle/placement. Sometimes you have to shimmy to get the angle just right if the power is low. It should result in a wipe in which no fecal matter remains, only wetness, if executed properly.
fishy@lemmy.today 1 month ago
Exactly. There’s a learning curve but once you’ve got it, you dread wipe only bathrooms. Installed a bidet on one of my toilets six months ago and now that’s the only toilet anybody in the house poops in unless it’s already occupied.
bluewing@lemm.ee 1 month ago
You need to use the power washer setting. Takes the paint right off the wall…
LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 month ago
Low water pressure maybe? Mines a real cheap one and I’ve never had issues with not being clean after. I do usually get stronger toilet paper, but I only use a roll or two a month. I wouldn’t say it’s life changing, but I do prefer it. Also has saved me a lot on tp
Piemanding@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Yes and also mine takes 30+ seconds to properly clean so make sure you take your time.
VitoRobles@lemmy.today 1 month ago
I was like you a few years ago.
The crappy ones feel like that.
Then I sat on a fancy one that sang me a lullaby and gave me positive encouragement as I pooped. My god, my entire butthole is so fresh.
I now understand.
Elkot@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Had my first experience of a bidet in Japan but not just that, the toilet seat was heated too, that was my first dump after landing
bluewing@lemm.ee 1 month ago
That’s what I love about mine. Automatic lid raise and lower as you walk in, heated ring and water, (both adjustable temp), air dry, (again heated), and charcoal filtered air filtration to minimize the stench from that drive through burrito.
It’s the posh life. Very nearly the equal to having your own chamberlain.
leftover@lemm.ee 1 month ago
Humm, I see you enjoy Toto. The king of home Bidets!
Teppichbrand@feddit.org 1 month ago
This is from a German shop but I’m sure you’ll find this everywhere. It’s dirt cheap and or family uses it daily for years.
kameecoding@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I think this is better than whats mounted into the toilet, because well sooner or later you get one of those days when shit flies everywhere and then enjoy cleaning the nozzle, meanwhile these things are usually just attached to the side of the toilet pr to the wall and no danger of it getting shit on barring extreme circumstances
LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 month ago
Even the cheap ones have a self clean setting. It just sprays water down the nozzle, and is between on and off. Turn it to that for a second and then off. Never had an issue. When I clean the toilet I use the same brush to glance over it, but really it stays clean on its own
spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 month ago
Lol, maybe in a shit (pun intended) bidet. Mine is mounted under the toilet seat and self cleans before and after spraying. Also, I can have it set to hit my butthole instead of trying to plains aim and spraying water and shit where it doesn’t need to be.
Plus, mine has heated water, so I don’t feel like I’m gonna get frostbite on my butthole in the dead of winter.
lewdian69@lemmy.world 1 month ago
If it’s tapped directly into the ice cold water line that sounds terrible. Gotta save up and spring for ceramic instant water heating.
Teppichbrand@feddit.org 1 month ago
Nah, it’s great, seriously. Saves me a cup of coffee in the morning. :)
And009@lemmynsfw.com 1 month ago
Plastic doesn’t rust, sometimes it’s better.
CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Well you could hire a maid, and they pour toilet bowl cleaner onto it. Even after you told them not to. Now the plastic is eaten away, and you have to replace it.
Doctor_Satan@lemm.ee 1 month ago
This is the kind I have, and I will never not have one again.
frezik@midwest.social 1 month ago
I like the bidet’s we have at home, but I don’t get the ones that are separate from the toilet. Saw this type when visiting San Juan, PR once. Their plumbing system can’t handle toilet paper very well, so it’s all bidets with a stack of washed towels.
Not only do they take up extra space in the bathroom, but are you supposed to waddle over to this thing with a dingleberry hanging out?
The one argument I’ve heard in their favor is from people with vaginas who don’t like the idea of the built-in sprayer catching bits of poop that’ll get in their cootch.
Scrollone@feddit.it 1 month ago
[deleted]ArtemisimetrA@lemm.ee 1 month ago
Not all vagina-havers are women is the point you seem to be missing.
some_dude@lemm.ee 1 month ago
A world with people? With vaginas?
pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
My friend has one of those Japanese ones. It also has a warmed toilet seat. When I came out, I said that seat is amazing and they said people never come out of there. I proposed that they were napping on the seat. Why do seat warmers feel so good? The thing is, I could never figure out how to make the actual bidet part work. I suspect the people who took a long time were also trying to test it out, but didn’t know how. Or maybe they did and enjoyed it?
9point6@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Japanese toilets are so far beyond what we’re doing anywhere else in the world it’s not even funny
Wtaf have our toilet scientists been doing for the last century in the western world?
RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Trying to get people to sit the right way on the toliet.
DJDarren@sopuli.xyz 1 month ago
It’s as easy as using two shells.
Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 1 month ago
What’s the third one for
pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
I remember it being a meme, but I couldn’t remember which one. For the uninformed like me: knowyourmeme.com/memes/three-seashells
get_the_reference_@midwest.social 1 month ago
Thanks a lot you shit-brained, fuck-faced, ball breaking, duck fucking pain in the ass.
QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Mom, dad, I’m gay. Also that heated toilet seat is amazing.
MyDogLovesMe@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I’ve brought bidets awesomeness in groups before.
It is immediately apparent who is “in the club” and who is not.
recently_Coco@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
Me
Tattorack@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Bottle of water. Wash with hand.
Teppichbrand@feddit.org 1 month ago
Punch a hole in the neck of a small water bottle using a (hot) needle or a cork screw. Fill the bottle with water, close the lit and spray your ass by holding the bottle upside down and squeezing it. I used this 1$ Ghetto-Bidet for years!
zarathustrad@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Nice for emergencies, but an actual bidet is like $10-20 and install takes less than 5min (10 if you count watching a YouTube on how to do it.)
Kolonel_Kahlua@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Mobiuthuselah@lemm.ee 1 month ago
Stop kidding yourself
Kolonel_Kahlua@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Missed opportunity on “Stop skidding yourself”.
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Amateur hour.
get_the_reference_@midwest.social 1 month ago
I went to paper high school, then baby wipes college. Let me know when you get your PhD from bidet university, then we’ll talk.
Kolonel_Kahlua@lemmy.world 1 month ago
This. This one right here. I upvoted.
raod_guitar@feddit.org 1 month ago
I’m using one of those hand squeezer bidets and yes, it’s great. Ever wiped your ass until it was sore? That’s because some little shit pebbles refuse to get out. With a bidet you can shoot those motherfuckers directly out of your rectum.
DJDarren@sopuli.xyz 1 month ago
We’ve got one of those ones that attaches to a regular toilet, and I gotta say that it’s fucking wonderful.
However. The water pressure in our house can be kinda weird. Mostly it’s normal, but sometimes it’s like a jet washer for a few seconds. And those few seconds after you’ve first opened the bidet are like getting reamed out by a Karcher.
wanderwisley@lemm.ee 2 months ago
Remember you don’t have to clean your whole ass. You just have to clean your ass’s hole.
voodooattack@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I wash my bum with liquid soap and it feels my ass smells like strawberries all day. Hell yeah bidets
whyalone@lemm.ee 1 month ago
I read Biden 😢
pacology@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Why are you using a French dude in the pictures when everyone knows they don’t use bidets?
papalonian@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I was literally getting my ass sprayed when I opened this meme.
theunknownmuncher@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Clean butt club!
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Not pictured: the wet spot on the back of their pants.
Seriously, how do bidet enjoyers dry their asses?
benignintervention@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Am
Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Soon. Soon.
kruhmaster@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
fuck yeah
alquicksilver@lemmy.world 2 months ago
How appropriate to have posted it here. Are you cleaning up the hole place?
Norgoroth@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I love spraying flecks of poo all over the handle so the next guy touches my poo flecks, very euro sanitary
random_character_a@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Bidet causes vampirism?
Omgboom@lemmy.zip 1 month ago
Bidets are amazing. If you don’t have one you should go buy one, they start fairly low priced
garbagebagel@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Paid $50 for mine like 7 years ago. Is it fancy? Heck no. Does it clean my butt real good? Heck yes.
When I can afford a fancy heated, air drying bidet that will be my goalpost of success.
Botzo@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I started with a $30 cheapo 10 years ago and it was life changing. Last year I got a stupid expensive one. Like, has a night light, auto flush (because I got the matching toilet), auto lid, heated seat, heated water, deodorizer, wireless remote, etc. (Toto S7A)
Just so you’re prepared, the air dry doesn’t fully replace the pat dry entirely unless you’re gonna sit there for a good long time.
That said, I have no regrets.
SuperSaiyanSwag@lemmy.zip 1 month ago
I honestly got used to the regular temp one. So much so that when I moved and the new house came with the fancier bidet, I just ended up using regular water every time.
spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 month ago
You can find a decent one with heated seat/water/fan for not much more than that. I spent a bit over 100$ for mine, and I love it. We had to RMA it within 6 months because the heater died, but it’s been rocking for like 1.5 years since then without issue.
Worth every penny. Especially in the middle of winter.