The last time I left sperm packets on the ground I was branded a “pervert” and a “freak” and told to leave the restaurant immediately before they called the police.
Centipedes Don't Fuck
Submitted 4 weeks ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/884eb4b7-5563-46f8-9879-67696e672d62.jpeg
Comments
brap@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Anticorp@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Have you tried growing 98 more legs first?
criticon@lemmy.ca 4 weeks ago
Or at least 28 more
DasSkelett@discuss.tchncs.de 4 weeks ago
97
tegs_terry@feddit.uk 4 weeks ago
I think they always have an odd number of pairs, so 96 or 100.
Zip2@feddit.uk 4 weeks ago
You need to dress it up as geocaching.
fireweed@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Sooo are centipedes like fruit flies and not engage in any real form of sexual selection, or is the female going around judging the fuck out of every jizz pile she encounters?
“Mmm-mm, look at that poor viscosity; a low-quality male clearly produced this. This one on the other hand: deep color, firm texture, nice and sticky… clearly produced by a male with the superior genes I want to pass along to my offspring.”
flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks ago
I’m upset no ones chimed in with a really technical breakdown and linked some studies
Xenny@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Centipedes are all perfect beings and need no selection
NormalPerson@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Or just slip in it like a banana peel and boom pregnant
i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 4 weeks ago
The DoorDash approach to sexual reproduction. Fantastic.
Sabata11792@ani.social 4 weeks ago
Oh boy, the jar arrived!
Poots@mander.xyz 4 weeks ago
And a complementary turkey baster, too!
jenny_ball@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
have you seen a centipede? completely unfuckable
absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 4 weeks ago
…unless you are a leg man…
occhionaut@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Now im imagining a centipede sticking out fifty pantyhosed legs from around the corner while catcalling its mark.
jabathekek@sopuli.xyz 4 weeks ago
Woah there buddy, please don’t fetish shame.
EarthShipTechIntern@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
So THAT’S how Vance & his wife have kids: he leaves her some fresh sperm in the couch
Hadriscus@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
damn, the lore thickens
voldage@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
I was ready for lizard people but bug people is where I draw the line.
nilclass@discuss.tchncs.de 4 weeks ago
Does this mean jd vance is a centipede?
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks ago
He is also a human.
swab148@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
A human centipede, some might say
Squirrelanna@lemmynsfw.com 4 weeks ago
Debatable
EarthShipTechIntern@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
Evidence? Proof?
Pretty sure he signed on for the Putin-pede (his head attached to trump’s rump, trump’s face in Putin’s ass)
Squirrelanna@lemmynsfw.com 4 weeks ago
Good for him that his wife found the packets in the couch.
EarthShipTechIntern@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
Just wrote that. Should have read comments first. Like minds & all.
Apytele@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks ago
Octopi do something similar but at least they meet up, the dude will just hand her his dick tentacle for later. Octopi being octopi I would assume it grows back.
dumbass@leminal.space 4 weeks ago
Huh, guess I’m a centipede then.
Disk@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks ago
what do you mean by this WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THIS
ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
I’m assuming he’s male, but no females are collecting his packets.
MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks ago
Relationship goals.
Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
So we’re just walking around and stepping on centipede cum?
dutchkimble@lemy.lol 4 weeks ago
Unless the centipede female are very efficient
TastyWheat@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
I’m pretty sure this is how the junkies in my town reproduce.
Orbituary@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
I’ve heard that this is how incels reproduce.
Scrawny@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
Don’t pick up crusty socks
HawlSera@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
That’s…
That’s amazing
TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com 4 weeks ago
its a skeet world
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
The logistics of those legs…
lil_tank@hexbear.net 4 weeks ago
Centipedes 🤝 Sperm donors
portuga@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
I’m new to this. How can I delete this thread? It’s bringing me nightmares. K thx by
Infamousblt@hexbear.net 4 weeks ago
I mean have you seen a centipede? I wouldn’t want to hang out either
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 weeks ago
thank god, i hated those fuckers enough already, if i had known they’d been capable of fucking i think i’d probably be done for by now.
Anticorp@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
This is the world librulz want!
Collatz_problem@hexbear.net 4 weeks ago
Male fish just cum all over the eggs laid by female fish.
xwolpertinger@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Epitoky/Shizogamy is where it’s really at
we_avoid_temptation@lemmy.zip 4 weeks ago
Ok now I’m curious about what the fuck the two centipedes I found in my basement that I thought were fucking were actually doing. They sure looked like they were fucking.
rustyfish@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
They were wrestling. Go back to bed.
lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 weeks ago
wrestling 😏
flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 4 weeks ago
Maybe they were those queer centipedes that fuck in person. Degenerates
oce@jlai.lu 4 weeks ago
They do it just for fun! Gross.
Pringles@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
Don’t humanize centipedes! That leads to strange and disturbing things…
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 4 weeks ago
too late
Image
Too late
Image
Too Late
Image
TOO LATE
centipede morphmoe
PunchingWood@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Image
NABDad@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Someone has already centipedized humans. This is the next step.
the_post_of_tom_joad@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks ago
I’M DOING MY PART!
AngryishHumanoid@reddthat.com 4 weeks ago
Just gonna take a quick stroll over to rule34.xxx and see what there is to see…
zqwzzle@lemmy.ca 4 weeks ago
And three movies that never should have been made.
gueybana@hexbear.net 4 weeks ago
Gonna put put my dick in a pede
numberfour002@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
A disappointingly large proportion of the general population appears to be unable to tell the difference between centipedes and millipedes. Is it possible that the “centipedes” you saw were actually millipedes? If so, they may have been “fucking”, or at least the millipede equivalent of it.
Additionally, it appears that this “fact” is actually wrong (big surprise, huh?). Many species of centipede do have courtship strategies that involve males and females meeting up. The sexes may even employ various forms of physical touch as part of the process. So, it’s certainly possible that the critters you saw where centipedes courting each other.
we_avoid_temptation@lemmy.zip 4 weeks ago
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centipede#/media/File%3AM…
Assuming this is actually representative of the difference, it was definitely a pair of centipedes.
I’m not surprised in the least that at a minimum it’s more complicated than the meme suggests, and now I’ve learned far more about centipedes than I ever wanted to. Thanks!
jenny_ball@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
millepedes are gross. centipedes are scary
holycrap@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
Centipedes see other Centipedes as food, which is why they reproduce this way.
Source: made it up, but it seems logical. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
7bicycles@hexbear.net 4 weeks ago
maybe they’re just the cuddly-type except for the distancing-fucking
GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 4 weeks ago
They could have been fighting. Maybe there was a lack of available food or fluid.