i_stole_ur_taco
@i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca
- Comment on Be happy if you woke up today and your throat didn’t hurt. 3 weeks ago:
Also:
A bite on the inside of your cheek
Canker sore on your tongue
Broken baby toe
Broken off splinter in your finger
Sunburn
- Comment on unwatchable!! 2 months ago:
If you eat a fang and it gouges into your skin and injects venom, did you eat it or did you get bitten?
- Comment on USA to be renamed to XXX 2 months ago:
Yeah but he’ll change every base unit to x, so now we measure acceleration in x/x^2 and volume is measured in x^3 and the highway speed limit is 80x/(x/60).
- Comment on Facial Recognition 2 months ago:
I took photos at a friend’s wedding and most of the photos of his new wife had her wearing a lace veil.
I dumped all the photos into Picasso (precursor to Google Photos) and it did its background facial ID on everything. Then it suggested more photos that might also be tagged as her.
The extra photos were all just tables with tablecloths on them. It thought she was a tablecloth.
- Comment on Toot toot 2 months ago:
I had a manager once who had 3 small kids and he rarely caught himself when he excused himself from a meeting to “go potty”.
- Comment on Centipedes Don't Fuck 2 months ago:
The DoorDash approach to sexual reproduction. Fantastic.
- Comment on Water Cycle 3 months ago:
I do that and eventually wake up and go the toilet and spend 2 minutes afraid to go in case I’m still dreaming and about to piss the bed.
- Comment on Average Amazon user intelligence 3 months ago:
Fakespot is great at catching these. It’ll give a really low score to products whose reviews don’t appear to have anything to do with the listing.
- Comment on Dutch toilets 3 months ago:
You have to do the ‘ol’ push ‘n flush and hope you got the timing down.
Turns out your shit sitting exposed on a dry shelf smells exponentially worse than when it drops into water. Anyone still using these toilets in the 21st century is a psychopath.
- Comment on 🥬grocery shopping🥬 4 months ago:
My sprouts to your sprouts.
- Comment on What's the craziest or funniest Wikipedia outline you've seen? 4 months ago:
It’s in order of how impactful it is on the whole as a whole, I imagine.
- Comment on I don't know about those shorts, either. 4 months ago:
Maybe it’s for the really really big three percenters?
- Comment on damnit, again 5 months ago:
nudibranchs
Never thought I’d be able to use that bit of pedantry.
- Comment on Describe an episode in the worst possible way 5 months ago:
Child actors in an elevator.
- Comment on high energy 6 months ago:
- Using 4 fucking tacks to pin up a sheet of paper. Or 2. Or 1. Never 3.
- Comment on Lawyer 6 months ago:
Poor Tom Lawyer from Lawyersville wanted to be a composer but his dad was a lawyer and told him he didn’t have a career choice.
- Comment on Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk have a baby 7 months ago:
To be fair, that’s a pretty accurate way to describe my career, too.
- Comment on Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk have a baby 7 months ago:
They named her Alexis, a combination of their first names.
As heartwarming as this story was, this line confuses me.
- Comment on Taylor Swift has won the Superbowl! 9 months ago:
“If we look over there, we’re going to see some FOOTBALL!”
- Comment on Taylor Swift has won the Superbowl! 9 months ago:
11 times during the game on the CBS feed, then a bunch of cuts after the trophy.
We were counting as part of our drinking game.
- Comment on Reification 9 months ago:
A clown show is a type of circus, I guess.
- Comment on Savage Keiko 10 months ago:
But he estimated the job would take 3 hours so everyone was happy.
Right?
- Comment on Legal shit posting 10 months ago:
Also pretty convenient to fill up before you head out for a day of fun flingin’.
- Comment on If you begin Star Trek: Voyager episode Spirit Folk at exactly 11:49:35 on New Year's Eve, Ensign Harry Kim will kiss a cow as the clock strikes midnight 10 months ago:
I’m happy to contribute to this project.
- Comment on Sign now! 10 months ago:
It’s odd how something as apparently exciting and delightful as gambling happens in giant buildings where not a single person is ever smiling.
- Comment on What happens now? 11 months ago:
They’re going to start removing quality items from your cloud save games!
- Comment on A magical place indeed 11 months ago:
Any more than 3 slats holding up a mattress is a frivolous luxury, I say.
- Comment on Who didn't play with one? 1 year ago:
I remember being 13 years old in the doctor’s waiting room feeling awkward for wanting to play with it as I thumbed through a boring, 11 year old Reader’s Digest.
- Comment on “I live, I love, I slay, and I am content.” 1 year ago:
Now this is the kind of shitposting that gets me out of bed in the morning!
- Comment on When People Watch You Attempt to Fix Their PC 1 year ago:
Would it help if we deleted some communications? I have a lot of them.
Oh, since we’re in here, let me tell you about all these captain’s logs we’re about to delete so you have some extra context about my shore leave from 25 years ago.
Why is this maintenance taking so long? It seems like all we’ve done is look at old logs…