The story doesn’t make sense. He only ever does two, three would be ridiculous.
Toot toot
Submitted 4 weeks ago by sjmarf@sh.itjust.works to [deleted]
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/040e25c9-3763-4fe5-bc6c-17e2705688e3.jpeg
Comments
NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz 4 weeks ago
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 4 weeks ago
I’m gonna start a rumor that there’s a different boss in a different division that does four.
RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Still better than the boss that drops an SBD, and then whispers ^“toot” in your ear.
tetris11@lemmy.ml 4 weeks ago
Legend has it that the higher up you go, the deeper it gets. The penthouse doesn’t even have an office in it, just a single solitary toilet perpetually occupied by a mysterious being known only to higher ups as The One Who Knocks
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks ago
I read this in Captain Holt’s voice
AeonFelis@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
lobut@lemmy.ca 4 weeks ago
RDJ really has some big boots to fill.
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks ago
RDJ really has some big
bootstoots to fill.Ftfy
GluWu@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
While at your desk make direct and sustained eye contact in silence. Once you know you have him gently say “poop poop” then violently shit yourself. Everything is about shitting, except shitting. Shitting is about power.
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
this whole thread, I’m crying
tetris11@lemmy.ml 4 weeks ago
I’m not sure you’d win. This is a man with decades of Pavlovian training, who can literally fart on command given the right keyword. It’s a pretty wild gamble to assume that “poop poop” is not in this repertoire.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
The moment you hear that third Saiyan “POOOOP” and realize you’ve miscalculated.
sfxrlz@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Are you sure it’s not the other way around? Maybe he just says toot toot to be sure it’s not a turd arriving…
buddascrayon@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
I’m pretty sure the oncoming fart triggers the “toot toot”, not the phrase triggering a fart. However you may be correct about the pavlovian aspect.
Glitterbomb@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Heres what you do - go to the bank today, get $50 in pennies…
AsudoxDev@programming.dev 4 weeks ago
Dominance is the key
Neon@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Everything is about shitting -> Power is about shitting
Power is about shitting -> shitting is about power
Repeat
salvaria@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 weeks ago
Wasn’t someone saying “toot toot” and farting a part of Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide? Lol
iamericandre@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Memory unlocked
cm0002@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Confirmed, OOPs boss is Timmy Toot Toot as an adult lmfao
ReynT1me@lemmy.one 4 weeks ago
That show holds up so well I swear to god
Vespair@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
And just like that my suspension of disbelief in this story is shattered. I hope you’re happy.
AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
I had a female employee come to me to complain years ago. She had had a disagreement with an older male employee (thankfully not mine) some weeks prior, and since then, every time he walked by her cube, he’d pause at her doorway, fart, and then keep walking without saying anything.
She at least was aware of how absolutely ridiculous it was, but legitimately didn’t think it was something she should have to deal with. One of the stranger management issues.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 4 weeks ago
Pretty textbook workplace harassment but I’m not sure how you’d prove it. Tape him with a clearly displayed fart face? Be sure to label one of stills with a red circle and a line saying “fart face”
AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
She wasn’t interested in suing, she just wanted him to stop farting in her doorway. I didn’t know the guy, so I started by talking to his manager, who talked to the guy. Sounds like he initially tried to deny it, but in a way that made it clear he was doing it on purpose. His boss was pretty clear that it wouldn’t be tolerated and it never happened again.
Some people are so weird and petty.
Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks ago
I don’t know which one was right or wrong, but my god… that’s legendary level, hilarious passive aggression.
mryessir@lemmy.sdf.org 4 weeks ago
He may have felt comfortable around her . . .
Agent641@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
We dont talk about the mythical fourth toot.
tetris11@lemmy.ml 4 weeks ago
Japan is still recovering from the last two
ikidd@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
There’s blood in that one.
chiliedogg@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Record the farts. Sample the audio. Create music.
cammoblammo@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
The copyright issues could be interesting.
Agent641@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Theres a band called the Toot Toot Toots:
korazail@lemmy.myserv.one 4 weeks ago
It does indeed. Thanks for sharing this, and I’m now a fan. Sadly, they seem to have split up after rebranding as ‘Twin Beasts’. I found the album for this on bandcamp: thetoottoottoots.bandcamp.com/album/outlaws ; and the rest of the album is great too after sampling a few tracks.
That lead vocalist is mostly incomprehensible, but his voice is awesome.
Kroma@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
??? Profit
caboose2006@lemmy.ca 4 weeks ago
I literally laughed so hard I cried.
coaxil@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
I laughed so hard I legit farted.
Jano@sopuli.xyz 4 weeks ago
I didn’t laugh, but I shat myself to compensate.
tetris11@lemmy.ml 4 weeks ago
I chuckled softly and did a mild burp.
NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Dude, if my boss did this, I would never recover. I think I would laugh until I asphyxiated myself.
Eczpurt@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Straight up Beetlejuiced a nasty fart into existence.
Jerkface@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
It was, in fact, showtime.
halvar@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
toot. toot. toot. TOOOOOT
and that’s how the universe got created kids
Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks ago
And on the fourth toot, God evacuated the heaven and the earth.
MeatPilot@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
That’s a shart
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Baby shart do do dodo dodo
Vespair@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
I mean yes, as far as I can tell most of the universe is, in fact, shit.
buddascrayon@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
“he only ever does two, don’t be ridiculous”
This is the most British response to a situation like this you could possibly get.
MattTheProgrammer@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
If he starts doing “chugga chugga” you really need to watch out
nebulaone@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
The correct amount is four chuggas.
MattTheProgrammer@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
I find any variation of 2^n^ chuggas to be acceptable personally
nawordar@lemmy.ml 4 weeks ago
I learned to dab while sneezing back when the meme wasn’t dead yet. I got so used to it, that I do that to this day. At least my palms are clean
BigPotato@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
I learned to sneeze like that long before dabbing was a thing and it wasn’t until someone commented that I just dabbed on them that it connected those dots.
Regardless, I still sneeze in my elbow.
EnderMB@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Haha, I thought I was the only one!
I started doing it to annoy my wife, but now I still do it, and it’s taking considerable concentration to not dab when I sneeze.
lugal@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
I love how the last full paragraph shifts the narrative from tooting in general is strange to normalizing 2 toots, but a 3rd one???
i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 4 weeks ago
I had a manager once who had 3 small kids and he rarely caught himself when he excused himself from a meeting to “go potty”.
Sway_Chameleon@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
I worked for a prof who prides himself on being an absolutely disgusting human being. Everyone has stories about talking with him in his office and then lifting his ass on one side to let rip. To make things worse, he had a fridge in his lab that he filled with booze and the stinkiest cheeses he could find, so his breath and farts were so bad they could make paint peel.
There’s crazy stories about him traveling to an international conference and puking on the guy sitting beside him and shitting his pants on the same flight.
Then on a university sponsored trip (with other viology profs/researchers) to recruit new students and research collaboration, he drank some brown bubbling “wine” that he vought from a street vendor, that everyone else refused to drink, he shat his hotel bed 3 nights in a row and every time the hotel tried to charge him for it he claimed it was just chocolate that he had been eating in bed. They then proceeded to a remote research station up on a mtn and when they arrived he rushed to the bathroom and broke the toilet immediately. They had to spend close to a week there, with no functioning toilet.
Hope your boss never reaches those levels of depravity, lol.
Malfeasant@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
Fight fire with fire.
judooochp@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
This is a shitpost? This boss is my spirit animal.
xia@lemmy.sdf.org 4 weeks ago
Toot-o-meter.
Maggoty@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
If that’s the only issue? Ignore it and carry on. Consider yourself lucky.
zcd@lemmy.ca 4 weeks ago
This is so fake. Are we supposed to believe that the boss can predict when a fart is going to be extra nasty and adding an extra toot when he ALWAYS only does two???
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 weeks ago
move out of the UK
bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
You are officially at war, beans are your friend
NutWrench@lemmy.ml 4 weeks ago
Three toots is enemy action.
DempstersBox@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Test toot!
azalty@jlai.lu 3 weeks ago
Why remove the credit for the OP?
HexesofVexes@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Well, next time I need to fart while lecturing I know what I’m doing…
Jaeger86@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Record that shit, and watch the internet roast him
etchinghillside@reddthat.com 4 weeks ago
You unlock legendary at 4 toots.
eager_eagle@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Only 0.04% of employees have this
callouscomic@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
Is there a strategy guide online for this trophy?
Furbag@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Holy shit, I’m putting this one on my Steam showcase!
MehBlah@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
The forth one is always a shart.
milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
Sally forth!
Assman@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks ago
Maybe for you, rookie
Malfeasant@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
You say that like it’s a bad thing…