MeatPilot
@MeatPilot@lemmy.world
- Comment on Just $99? 1 day ago:
Carpet my hole?
- Submitted 2 days ago to [deleted] | 1 comment
- Comment on Truly. 2 days ago:
Please owner, I seek death. Release me from my torment and… Oh fuck is that the wind? barks uncontrollably
- Comment on Air Friar 2 days ago:
Brewing beer and baseline jumping off building’s as your bros cheer you on. Apparently friar’s where the precursors to frat bros.
- Comment on This is what we used to worry about in the 80s. This and global thermonuclear war. 3 days ago:
The Nelson’s are about to find out…
That their son used an entire bottle of Elmer’s glue and now sleeps face down to keep that mohawk standing up. They’ll spend time understanding his interests because they love him very much.
- Comment on 4th rule 3 days ago:
Gotta lick the wrapper after you slide them off.
- Comment on Lepidoptera 🤙🤙🤙 1 week ago:
Gotta catch um all!
- Comment on It's like a more challenging version of the trolley problem 1 week ago:
The Shrek paradox
- Comment on Softbank plans to cancel out angry customer voices using AI 1 week ago:
🧟 “Hello, how may I help you?”
🤖 “Fudging son of a birch. How about you eat chicken and live a long life!”
🧟 “Thank you, but what is the reason for your call?”
🤖 “I really want to keep my account open! This is the sixth time I have called to keep my account open.”
🧟 “Ok sir, we will keep your account open. Is there anything else?”
🤖 "What? That is not what I want at all. I love serve bank and want to keep my account open. What is wrong with you geniuses!
- Comment on "I don't get it... why isn't our Dyson Sphere producing any energy?" 2 weeks ago:
Why do aliens have Dyson vacuums?
- Comment on Honestly, I couldn't even imagine living in such a country lol 1 month ago:
Agreed that’s what “big spider” wants you to believe. They control the world wide web after all.
- Comment on Why tho 1 month ago:
I’ll price match and make sure I eat loads of asparagus first.
- Comment on palaeoartists are dreamers 1 month ago:
This is a rare situation where I appreciate that the illustrator covered his junk, but I don’t totally feel comfortable with the how they covered his junk.
- Comment on Sad 1 month ago:
Letting her know you drank a bunch of pineapple juice before your date.
- Comment on Medieval Doomsday Weapon 1 month ago:
The folks exposed died a few days after. So it wasn’t instant. Very slow and horrible probably as all their organs and cells died at a molecular level and skin fell off.
So damage over time and can not be healed. Would be accurate.
- Comment on histories mysteries 1 month ago:
I cast fear on Julius Caesar!
Uh oh, Julius Ceasar’s only path is in range of all the members of Senate. So they each member gets one attack of opportunity.
Go ahead and roll 60 decohedrean’s to hit.
Looks like 23 hit!
- Comment on Boston Dynamics introduces a fully electric humanoid robot that “exceeds human performance” 2 months ago:
Your mother makes robots in hell.
- Comment on clearly aliens 2 months ago:
These weren’t built in Egypt at all. They imported them overseas from the Mayans.
- Comment on This is what peak performance looks like 2 months ago:
The keyboard just needs to be 6ft long and have nonsensical shit hanging off it like skulls on ship chains.
Also the keyboard keys would not be enlarged. There would be about one thousand regular size keys on it.
- Comment on Doesn't Happen Often But Always Horrifying 2 months ago:
…then you turn on the lights to see…
- Comment on The reason why we never meet time travelers is because our civilization ends before the technology can come to fruition. 2 months ago:
This is a basic fact overlooked by almost every time travel sci-fi. We wouldn’t just jump into a machine and poof be in the exact same location 1,000 years ago.
It would be more like trying to land a spaceship on a planet light years away, there would have to be calculations for position and gravity. All sorts of crap before you even solve the impossible problem of turning back the clock.
Also we’d first have to figure out how to travel faster than light to even hope to break the riddle of time travel.
As fun as it is to theorize time travel would be impossibly complex and probably devastating to try.
Imagine what an object would do with all those forces behind it suddenly slamming into a object moving much slower, it would be like a time bullet that would tear apart the planet and punch a hole in space. We would likely achieve a black hole and destroy all of earth before we could see what earth looked like 1,000 years ago.
- Comment on happy spring :) 2 months ago:
Throw in a pan with garlic and butter 🤌
- Comment on Huh 3 months ago:
Maybe the article was generated using another LLM?
- Comment on know the difference!! 3 months ago:
New extinction theory Diplodocus, raw dogging all the other dinos and spreading STDs that lead to the death of an entire species.
Don’t be a dinosaur, wrap up your Diplodocus!
- Comment on When it’s Saturday and there’s no new content on lemmy 4 months ago:
- Comment on Mark Zuckerberg explains why so many tech companies are doing layoffs right now 4 months ago:
Why have 2 people do 2 jobs, when you can have 1 frighten employee do 2 jobs or maybe more.
- Comment on PSA: if you’re memeing, you could be working out 4 months ago:
If I do more exercise, I won’t be able to rest my phone on my gut.
- Comment on You may want to wear sunglasses though 4 months ago:
Sometimes you can find instructions for different ways to cook a pizza on the back of the box. For example I checked mine and underneath airfrier instructions there were “nuclear blast”…
Nuclear Blast
Remove pizza from all packaging and shrink wrap. Be sure to remove and discard the cardboard tray.
Place pizza on metal baking tray within a clear path of the blast source. Do not use glass cookware as it might shatter.
About 5 miles out from the blast source. Find a sturdy structure, like a rock deeply embedded into the ground.
Place pizza on the tray and tilt tray to a 45 degree angle on the rock. Angling toward the blast to evenly cook.
Bake for 5secs for 15 kiloton yield atomic bombs or until pizza is golden brown. Grab pizza and run to shelter before the shockwave hits. If the shockwave hits your pizza it will disintegrate.
All atomic bombs cook differently, so be sure to keep an eye on your pizza as it cooks. Pizza is done when the cheese is melted and edges are golden brown.
- Comment on dont question the big orb 5 months ago:
“Stabbed in the Eyes by Solar Rays”
Sounds like a good indie band name.
- Comment on See? You still have a chance! 5 months ago:
Would that classify me as a “kink”?