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School pickup lines are wild

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Submitted ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨paranoid@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/34d43642-4389-4776-99d5-c6b480b7a97c.jpeg

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Comments

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  • ohlaph@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I bet he’d rip his Achilles as well if he tried running more than the length of his micro unit.

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  • NewSocialWhoDis@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    As if he’d ever see a kid walking in front of that thing.

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    • l_isqof@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Hopefully it would be his own, in that case.

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  • Gammelfisch@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Only in the USA, the rest of the 1st World is normal.

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    • MangioneDontMiss@feddit.nl ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      the US is 1st world?

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      • Gammelfisch@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        LOL! +1…It’s a mixed bag.

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      • captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        By definition.

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  • MattTheProgrammer@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    That guy must be a stepdad because no way he’s made any children with his tiny wittle wee wee stick

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    • Dorkyd68@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Unfortunately there is a type of bleach blonde Karen that finds this type of specimen irresistible

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      • GladiusB@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        That’s because they are pathetic enough to see them as possessions and they go along with it because they just don’t want to do shit.

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  • NGC2346@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I’ll play devils advocate here, but in a free society, cant people ride the vehicule they want as long as it’s legal ? Although his truck is ridiculously large, it’s not like the majority of people drive those.

    I just feel like there’s way worse in life than Johns enlarged Dodge Ram.

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    • DNS@discuss.online ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You can ride any vehicle you want, but will also be opened up to criticism in your decision. No need to drive a massive dodge ram thats 5’ lifted. There was a study that shows those type of trucks cannot see pedestrians in front of them, posing a risk to school children and distracted drivers.

      The real issue is Big Auto circumventing laws to make these massive vehicles to avoid paying additional taxes on fuel efficient cars.

      At my kids school, there’s quite a few lifted vehicles with pristine paint jobs, letting others know that they never take their car out on trails let alone use it for what it’s made for. Pathetic pavement princesses.

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    • paranoid@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You’re absolutely correct. What struck me was the juxtaposition of a line of parents picking up their kids and a truck that’s been modified to say “war” (or “raw” if you read it in a mirror)

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      • boonhet@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        I’ll take the war. Nobody should be "raw"ing anyone in a school pick up zone.

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    • orioler25@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Except, John’s enlarged Dodge Ram makes him statistically a greater danger to everyone and their kids. In daily life, John is a more relevant danger to me than pretty much anything else. If John is in the USA, the children at this school are most likely to die of a car collision – with increased fatalities correlated with popularity of trucks like John’s – or a firearms incident, funnily enough also subject to a statistical correlation with light truck ownership. Between 19 and 24, vehicle collisions are the number one cause of death regardless of gender; only beat out by poisonings and suicide as you get older. Again, light trucks are correlated with higher rates of fatalies. If you’re in those age groups and don’t have a substance abuse or mental illness disorder, John is the most likely thing to kill you in your life.

      People like John are apathetic about the casual brutality of such a vehicle, that is in fact the point of the hypermasculinity molded into it. I don’t want him around me, and I don’t want him around my kids. He chose to be dangerous and individual rights doesn’t mean you can threaten others with impunity. That’s why neglect can land you with murder or manslaughter charges.

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      • NGC2346@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        If you’re american, i’d stress about guns and school shootings before Dodge Rams.

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    • AlexLost@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      John’s gotta make up for his small peepee somehow after all.

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  • mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I assume that’s an entirely separate street just for personal pickup? because I don’t see room for a school bus to drive by

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    • paranoid@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      It’s a weird traffic pattern, but it’s essentially a separate street

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  • limelight79@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I’ve inadvertently ridden my bicycle through a couple school zones during drop-off times - and I’m sure pick-up times would be even worse.

    Cycling around cars has an element of risk that we all know and accept. But that risk goes WAY UP in school zones at drop-off time. You’d think drivers would be looking for kids, people, etc. as they drop their precious off IN A SCHOOL ZONE. But, no.

    For example: One started to pull out in front of me - I was in the lane, riding past, and she was pulling out of the school’s driveway. I avoided her with some vigorous braking, then she had the gall to pull up at a light and tell me I should be careful.

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    • Hazmatastic@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      It’s a bunch of stressed, impatient parents who just want to grab their kid and get out, but are apathetic to everyone else trying to do the same. If all these other people weren’t here they could do this so fast, why won’t everyone get out of their way? It’s a highly concentrated dose of the “Im gonna get mine and the rest of you can fuck right off” mentality. And, like most shitty driving behaviors, it feeds into itself. It makes good drivers make bad decisions because, if they don’t, they’re not going anywhere. “No one is letting me in, so if I dont cut someone off, I’m going to be stuck here another 15 minutes” type shit. I dont know why well-built pickup and drop-off areas aren’t required for building schools past 1990, but here we are.

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    • Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      When I leave my home street, (on my bicycle,) I have to make a left hand turn. This means that I don’t proceed through the intersection until it’s safe, and I turn from the middle of the lane. My bike also has blinking turn signals, because people are dumb and don’t understand hand signals for turns. I had one of my neighbors behind me honking and screaming at me because I wasn’t turning fast enough for her liking. I screamed at her that I wasn’t turning until it was safe, and she could eat my ass. Then I got off my bike in the middle of the road and proceeded to dance the running man for 30 seconds before getting back on to attempt my left hand turn again. Fuck cars and the people that drive them.

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      • frostysauce@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Yes, sure. And everyone clapped. And your name: Albert Einstein. And all that.

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  • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Ohh, school pick up lines as in, a line of cars picking up students. Not pick-up lines, like “Hey baby, can you show me where music class is, cause I feel like playing in A minor.”

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    • sol6_vi@lemmy.makearmy.io ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Like the guy in the truck gives a shit about the difference.

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    • ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      “Hey baby, can you show me where music class is, cause I feel like playing in A minor.”

      The Epstein and co pick up line.

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    • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      At my son’s kindergarten all the parents walked to pick up their kids because that’s how the school was, in a small walkable neighborhood. One dad had a fishing t-shirt on that said “Master Baiter.” Kinda similar personality as this RAM/WAR truck guy.

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    • percent@infosec.pub ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Welp, there’s my cursed upvote of the day.

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    • paranoid@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I need an adult

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      • mysticalone@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        i am an adult

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    • sockenklaus@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      That was my initial thought… Nice pickup line btw. Do you have more? :)

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      • percent@infosec.pub ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        These guys right here, officer

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  • greedytacothief@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I… I would not be brave enough to drive around in a “truck” like that. Like mad props for never out growing your edge lord phase.

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    • yuriRO@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I want to see the scene of him getting out of the car like a little man

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    • altphoto@lemmy.today ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      With a couple of pets already paper thin wrapped around the tires.

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  • ZkhqrD5o@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Conductor: Sir, this seat is only for disabled people.

    Me, an intellectual: shows this picture I drive this.

    Conductor: Sorry to have bothered you, sir.

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    • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      If you’re driving, why are you also riding the bus?

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      • ZkhqrD5o@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        What bus has a conductor?

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      • Sculptor9157@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Taps disabled sign

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  • Tetragrade@leminal.space ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    G.I Joe type whip

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  • skisnow@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Lucky I’ve not encountered him, the urge to talk to him like a 5 year old would be too great.

    “What a big truck you have! And it’s so high up! I bet you have to do a big jump to get up there. And look, it says “WAR” on the front, that’s fun! Did you put that on yourself, or did you ask a man do it for you?”

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    • Im_old@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Damn now I want to see a pink one driven by a catgirl and the logo flipped to say “awr”.

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      • moseschrute@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Image

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    • rumba@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I mean, he just turned his Ram logo upside down…

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      • tlmcleod@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        And then flipped and reversed the R afterwards?

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  • TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    How does one like that get a kid? Like, what woman is into a guy like that, and how does it biologically work with insemination when you have a tiny micro penis like that? I bet the kid is from the milkman or something.

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    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      lots of women are into big trucks and expensive cars.

      have you ever dated? IME majority of women want a guy with an expensive car. finding a woman who doesn’t care about that stuff is difficult.

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      • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        lots of women are into big trucks and expensive cars.

        There’s always exceptions to the rule, but the things dudes think attract women and what actually attracts women are so often two entirely different things. Most women have little interest in expensive cars, huge muscles or fancy gadgets, they’re instead interested in a man with decent hygiene who can listen and be financially stable (all things that a lifted pickup with extra-edgy stickers and whatnot communicates the opposite of)

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      • boonhet@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Expensive (in terms of my country, anyway) car got me the worst woman I’ve ever dated (and later married. The things you do for love. For both the gold digger and more importantly, the child the gold digger coaxes you into having). Go back a few comments in my profile if you want details because I shared them with other people who said they’ve suffered under narcissists too, but it cost me well over 100k in under 2 years. Minimum wage in my country is under 900 euros a month to give you some perspective. She did not work a day in the same time frame, but I worked 200+ hours most months.

        Stay true to yourself and keep driving that hybrid. Don’t give in to it. The woman that’s out there for you won’t care about it. But if you drive a nice car or truck, you’ll attract gold diggers that distract you from the actually good things in life. And if my advice sounds misogynous, it’s really not. It’s not exclusively women who are gold diggers of course. I recently read a thread on my country’s subreddit where a woman was in just about the same situation I used to be in, looking for advice. Her husband was an absolute freeloader and wouldn’t even help around the house because she wouldn’t sign over half the house to him. House that she’d bought before their relationship.

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      • TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        You’re not dating the right women man. The ones I date don’t care about that stuff. They care about having shared interests, talking about emotional stuff, building a connection. My previous 3 partners I broke the relationship because they didn’t respect my boundaries, they all want me back. They loved the sex, my previous partner, one who had many before me, told me I could give her the best orgasm ever, by far. The ones before also said I performed beter then they ever had. All because I learned techniques, even though I’m above the Dutch national average size wise. Size does help a lot, but it’s about what you do with it. While my best technique is oral. I try to learn her body, her triggers, and play with that. Edging is really great, plus knowing to find the g spot, and of course the clitoris. But the whole body is covered with sensitive spots, knowing which one to stimulate when is key. Watch some tutorials from Nina Hartley, I learned a lot from it. Also there was a program on state television when I was younger called “neuken doe je zo” (this is how you fuck). I can’t remember the other tutorials but there are more. Just don’t use porn as a reference.

        All my previous partners don’t care about cars, expensive presents, etc. They care about my brain and how I treat them: with care and respect. I can be vulnerable and don’t mind taking about hard things so they all still come to me when they are feeling down because even though we broke up I’m still there for them during hard times. And they are there for me too.

        If anyone only cares about money and fame, they are just using you and not the right partner.

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      • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        have you ever dated? IME majority of women want a guy with an expensive car.

        America has an epidemic of gold digging whores.

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    • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I hear scientists have made it so two xy people can make a baby now and mpreg is gonna be real.

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      • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Keep trying, fellas!

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    • YeahIgotskills2@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
      [deleted]
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      • TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        There’s nothing wrong with having a small penis. There are great ways to compensate, by learning other skills in the bedroom to pleasure your partners. Buying a massive truck isn’t the right way to pleasure a partner, it’s only to show how sad and insecure you are like your other testosterone junky micropenis Chad friends with their mega trucks.

        So when you say you have a small car, I’d say you’re doing just fine.

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  • Credibly_Human@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Kids who never grew up, but in a bad way

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    • hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      That car is also very likely to make a kid never grow up in yet another way.

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      • boonhet@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Also a very bad way, possibly the worst way.

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      • balance8873@lemmy.myserv.one ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Could also kill a shorter adult, I bet they don’t have visibility on anyone under 5’6"

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  • waitaminute@midwest.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I feel like I saw this truck on long island. Same truck?

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    • paranoid@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I’m close enough that it’s possible!

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      • waitaminute@midwest.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        What’s amusing is I wanted to get a photo of it but couldn’t and here it is.

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  • Tracaine@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Why is everyone making fun of some guy’s truck? Further, OP why are you being a creeper and posting pictures of people online without their consent?

    I guarantee no one here knows this man, he might be the nicest dude ever and just happens to like monster trucks or something. What the hell is wrong with you people? How about mind your own business instead of gossiping about someone who is (probably) just a random dad waiting to pick up his kid and go home to make dinner. Fucking weirdos.

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    • slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Picking up a child in the child killer 3000 that says WAR on it. Yeah, probably a really nice guy

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    • Ifera@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Because Lemmy is a most of the time a kind, left leaning socialist utopia, unless it is about cars, and men. And if it is about both, boy oh boy. And if you added AI, you’d get a trifecta of negativity.

      It is gross to me, seeing so many up voted comments body shaming, some stranger for the car they drive, but the in-group bias is massive.

      I wonder if they would be this gross if it was a woman driving the car.

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    • ieGod@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Truck drivers have such small dick energy. Further, consent is not required to post pictures taken in public.

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    • shalafi@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I roll a 2004 F150 wearing a cowboy hat with an AR-15 in the passenger well. Anyone wants to check my politics is free to have a look at my comments.

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    • titanicx@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Guaranteed this guy is an asshole and he deserves everyone calling him out on his shit ass truck.

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  • Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Some semi-matte olive paint and that mofo could have a Warthog.

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  • UnfortunateShort@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I mean, it does look kind of cool. Can’t go wrong with matte black

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  • BetaBlake@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    His compensator is compensating

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  • Jhogenbaum@leminal.space ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Hey… I’m so glad that guys kid is NOT homeschooled…

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  • zbyte64@awful.systems ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    The truck says “War” on it. This is why voucher schools exists, so that I, as a parent, don’t need to deal with this kind of parent and their kids.

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  • candyman337@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    (obligatory DO NOT ACTUALLY so I don’t get removed)

    Bet if you shot up this jackass’s car he’d be a lot less prepared than he fucking thinks

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  • DioramaOfShit@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I need some new insults to use. Everything i grew up calling these people is not okay to use anymore (fag, retard etc.) The more offensive the better. Thanks for the help.

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  • sirico@feddit.uk ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Scared of the outside world so it needs a scary face, sitting in a nice comfy air-conditioned cab on big pillowy tyre. How is this more manly than a bicycle?

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  • brucethemoose@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    At least it has a decent looking suspension, widened stance and big wheels of a prerunner. If this guy lives out in the desert, he likely has some fantastic fun with it.

    What I don’t particularly like are the lifts that are terrible off road, like feet off the ground to the point where they’re tippy, yet have no travel

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  • panda_abyss@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Is that Snake driving that truck? I see the eye patch.

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  • rImITywR@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    The fact that school pickup lines exist is wild.

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  • DarkCloud@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Boyght from OAN’s shopping channel.

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  • LaserTurboShark69@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Just a little higher and they’ll be able to pass over the children unscathed. Problem solved

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  • Pistcow@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    There’s a guy with 3 DUIs.

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