I’m so feeling this this morning. I asked the 4yo if he wanted cereal or yogurt for breakfast. He screams “I’m not hungry! I want mama!”, runs to his room and slams the door. Two minutes later he comes out and punches me in the dick while I’m making lunches.
Not stealing
Submitted 9 hours ago by ickplant@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/c3055694-5609-481e-9cb9-b4976ce638da.jpeg
Comments
BartyDeCanter@lemmy.sdf.org 7 hours ago
Dozzi92@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
I love hearing other parents have asshole kids, because it reminds me that I’m not alone.
DJDarren@sopuli.xyz 2 hours ago
My kid went through the same phase all kids do of refusing to go to bed.
So one night he’s grabbing on to the baby gate at the top of the stairs like a con in a prison movie, screaming and yelling. I’m at the bottom of the stairs trying to ignore him.
He fixed a stare directly at me, stopped screaming, and shit in his pants.
So yeah, 100% of parents have arsehole kids.
absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 2 hours ago
You are not; but they are not really assholes. They are optimising for some outcome that they want, with inferior tools/mechanisms. Depending on age, their brain runs on emotion most of the time, logic is a distant second place.
In saying all of that…they can seem like assholes in the moment!!!
volvoxvsmarla@sopuli.xyz 4 hours ago
I mean, the dick punch was really unnecessary but I am glad that other families experience… Weirdness, I guess. And exclusion of a parent.
I can’t count how often I read and heard the advice to “just present your kid with two options to choose from”.
My kid, even before she became verbal, always wanted option C when presented with two options.
“Do you want this hat or this cap?” “Neither”
“Do you want this blue pants or these red sweatpants?” “I want… a green… dress” we don’t even have a green dress.
“Shall we go to the zoo today or do you want to go to the playground with Anna?” “I want to go on the trampoline” .
Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 hours ago
The problem with parenting advice is every kid is different. This becomes clear after raised a gaggle of them. Anyone with one child that is giving advice is clueless.
My suggestion is not to give that type of child options. Tell them what’s happening. Then do it. May that not work any better and ignores why you may have started giving them choices.
You didn’t specify an age but typically choices are best for later development. Toddlers are terrorists and one should never negotiate with a terrorist.
bus_factor@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
I present two options. If my kid doesn’t pick one of those two options, either by not responding or by requesting a third thing, I’m picking one of the two options for him. And I’m always picking what he’s least likely to want.
jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
You know, this weirdly makes the whole shit world-state seem much more natural lol
darkreader2636@lemmy.zip 1 hour ago
Well most of times you can differentiate frustration screaming and fear/danger screaming on toddlers
Kolanaki@pawb.social 59 minutes ago
I can’t even differentiate the screams of play time from bwing brutally murdered from the kids I hear playing around my apartment complex…
Karjalan@lemmy.world 13 minutes ago
Same, and I have kids, so I, technically, should be able to differentiate.
Modern_medicine_isnt@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
There is a reason for declining child birth numbers… it has everything to do with more people knowing what they are really getting into.
bunchberry@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
Well if there was public daycare to take the stress off of parents who couldn’t deal with it then it wouldn’t be as big of an issue.
MotoAsh@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
And that everyone’s too damn poor. Babysitter? Not on average wages! No one wants to give up all of their time and money for kids they might not be able to provide for.
Pacattack57@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
There are people giving 100% of their paychecks for childcare and the spouse pays for everything else.
That is a failure of the US and birth rates won’t improve until that changes.
SpoonyBard@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
I don’t know why, but “stealing” is such a funny way of saying that.
theUwUhugger@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
How would you call dissapropriating someones children for recreational or other purposes?
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
It’s funny because children aren’t people. Or something…
boonhet@sopuli.xyz 6 hours ago
It’s just funny to use the word that means a different thing but close
makyo@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
… but if you were to call the cops on me at least it would be a brief yet welcome reprieve from parenting while they come to the inevitable conclusion that he is mine and they don’t want him around either
Modern_medicine_isnt@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
My son(11) will say, “you can’t do that, I’ll call the police and they will arrest you”. I say, great maybe I’ll get some peace and quiet. He doesn’t know I won’t, so it works. Lol.
pyre@lemmy.world 52 minutes ago
I think it’s time. you gotta sacrifice the strategy because 11 is old enough to know acab
ater@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
This very much could have been my husband about a decade ago. The last tantrum my middle child ever threw, with lots of screaming and running and destroying things like a fucking tornado in the middle of a Target. Spouse carried them kicking and screaming out to the car while I finished checking out and by the time I got there they were buckled in their car seat, completely calm and composed, like a switch flipped. (As far as I know) it wasn’t any sort of punishment or shining moment of parenting, the kid just decided, I’m done now.
And they haven’t thrown a fit since.
BastingChemina@slrpnk.net 2 hours ago
How old was your kid at the time ? You are giving us hope, we need to know!
Clanket@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
29 😅
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
I’ve been reading some variation of this joke since the early 80s.
I am confident it can be found somewhere in Shakespeare’s plays and perhaps on clay tablets hidden deep in the Mesopotamian valley.
ComradeMiao@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
My son fought me getting in the high chair in a restaurant yesterday. Wife had to hold him while I held his legs straight to get in. I feel that
MigratingApe@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 hours ago
How TF are they so strong!? I also noticed a difference in physical strength between boys and girls - while expected I did not anticipate it being so much different. I really have to use a muscle on my son sometimes and he’s not even 2 yo.
Bgugi@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
Same for kids and pets… They’re not really strong, it’s just that:
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You’re trying not to hurt them or yourself, they don’t really care. This really levels the playing field.
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You’re trying to accomplish a goal, they’re trying to do anything but that.this gives them a huge advantage.
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agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 6 hours ago
Kinda reminds me of when I was using dating apps, and women would ask how they knew I wasn’t a serial killer. “If I was a serial killer, it would be pretty stupid to leave a bunch of digital records of me being the last person my victim talked to, I’d get caught immediately.”
vga@sopuli.xyz 5 hours ago
Yeah kids. Cannot throw them away, cannot kill’em.
black_flag@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 hours ago
I don’t think the apple falls very far from the tree
rumba@lemmy.zip 7 hours ago
Hard to tell from so little info. You can make a kid act like that by being a shitty parent, but they can also have issues unbidden that stretch you past your breaking point.
In any case, they don’t seem to have a healthy relationship.
Windex007@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
10:1 odds that neither of you currently have a toddler.
Nefara@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
My kid just had a screaming fit with big fat tears rolling down his face because he reached the bottom of the stairs. The other day, he was howling crying because I had a different colored bowl than he did. I have indeed had to carry my kid out of a public space to go calm down. I do my best to be calm and empathetic to him but emotional regulation is something they grow into.
CallMeAnAI@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
Found the childless one who knows better. Always at least one of you.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 1 hour ago
My wife was waiting for me by the exit of Target with my infant son, and a lady rushed up with her cart, a baby in the baby holder, said, “Here, watch him!” and ran in the rest room.
I walked up, and saw my wife with another baby, and said, “We can’t afford two, we’ll have to return one,” and she told me the story. I thought it was hilarious, and couldn’t wait to meet this woman when she came out of the bathroom.
She eventually emerged, and thanked my wife for the help, and I said “You weren’t worried about handing your daughter off to a stranger?” And she replied:
“No, she already had one, I knew she wasn’t about to steal ANOTHER one!”