Nefara
@Nefara@lemmy.world
- Comment on Repair leaky foundation? 1 week ago:
First thing I would look into is how water is getting into those cracks in the first place. Check your gutters and make sure they’re cleaned out and at appropriate angles, and check the downspouts. Water should be draining away from your home, not into it. You might need to put up some sort of awning or tarp, and fix the angles of those pavers/concrete. If there’s water flowing into the foundation then it’s going to be a reoccurring problem.
- Comment on Chicken of the Woods 1 week ago:
We were lucky enough to have a bloom by our house and I cleaned them, cut them and pan fried them with butter. Truly delicious, intense chickeny flavor and great texture. Would actually prefer to eat them over chicken, but they are so hard to cultivate and very unpredictable as to when to find them.
- Comment on A tiny thin knit sweater would be a chunky sweater for a mouse 3 weeks ago:
This reminds me of Althea Chrome, the artist who made all of the knit accessories for Coraline. She uses silk thread to make them in scale.
- Comment on [deleted] 3 weeks ago:
Sounds great, Photuris for supreme dictator!
- Comment on Should you look for a relationship if it feels like a compromise? 3 weeks ago:
It can be a healthy way to have a relationship as long as you’re honest with your partners. Don’t promise them the moon and eternal love. Don’t lie about your intentions. Keep up with STD testing and use protection obviously.
There are people out there looking for friends with benefits and are happy to find a regular partner who respects consent, takes feedback and is a known quantity. There are also aromantic people out there who are happy to have a purely physical relationship. There’s someone for everyone. Finding that kind of relationship might have its challenges but the internet helps with that at least.
- Comment on Not stealing 4 weeks ago:
My kid just had a screaming fit with big fat tears rolling down his face because he reached the bottom of the stairs. The other day, he was howling crying because I had a different colored bowl than he did. I have indeed had to carry my kid out of a public space to go calm down. I do my best to be calm and empathetic to him but emotional regulation is something they grow into.
- Comment on what are the grievances with the "male loneliness epidemic"? 4 weeks ago:
You might not be identifying reasonable feminists then, because the “men are trash” ones are more visible. You’re probably surrounded by feminists and encountering them all the time, but unless you’re asking them their stance about reproductive rights or equality in parental leave or something else in conversation you wouldn’t know it.
- Comment on what books about personal boundaries do you know that don't mention god? 4 weeks ago:
I imagine for OP it was a bit like picking up a salve for a rash in the pharmacy and realizing it says “homeopathic remedy” on the side.
- Comment on what books about personal boundaries do you know that don't mention god? 4 weeks ago:
I just picked up a book called Unfuck Your Boundaries. It’s written by a trauma therapist but the style, if you can’t guess from the title, is very casual and easy to read. I am still reading it, so I can’t give a full review, but it’s approachable and entertaining while covering the fundamentals.
- Comment on what books about personal boundaries do you know that don't mention god? 4 weeks ago:
Faith in others or trust in others has absolutely nothing to do with thinking there’s an invisible, ultra powerful person just chilling somewhere in space just because someone wrote a book about it 2000 years ago.
- Comment on what books about personal boundaries do you know that don't mention god? 4 weeks ago:
Why do you fear Batman?
- Comment on [deleted] 4 weeks ago:
I’ve had this kind of situation in my life, I helped out my mother around the house when I was young and home from school, and I took care of my grandmother when she needed someone in the house. I’m now a stay-at-home mom so I can say I genuinely do get the appeal.
Here are some questions you should ask yourself though, and really consider your answers.
What are your life goals? If you knew you were going to die in a month, what would be the first things that came to mind that you would be sad you didn’t accomplish? Does your current path lead to these things?
What is your plan for when your dad’s current financial situation changes? If he loses his job or business, if he retires, do you have other means of making an independent income or other people in your life you could make similar arrangements with?
Do you have any of your own income, money, or savings tucked away? If something happened between the two of you, do you have options to get out?
What sort of preparation do you have for if something suddenly happened to your dad, like in the event of an accident or heart attack? Are you in his will? On the deed/lease? Do you have a joint bank account? Are you a beneficiary of his life insurance?
Do you want a romantic relationship, partnership, or kids? If so, what steps are you taking to make that happen, and how would that fit in to your current situation?
What sort of social or support network do you have? Do you have friends who would let you stay with them if you needed it? Do you have people in your life you can connect to and who will give you outside perspectives?
Domesticity can be alluring because you’re directly improving the lives of people you love, can make your own schedule, you’re not selling your soul to a corporation etc, but it’s extremely easy for the situation to go bad. There are so many ways people have been trapped, isolated, abused, or suddenly found themselves in changing circumstances that turn a good thing into a personal hell. The day to day of things can make a decade go by before you realize you never took that trip or learned that skill or made that thing.
Don’t just try to make your answers fit your current situation just because change is uncomfortable. If this lifestyle appeals to you there’s nothing wrong with that, just make sure you have your own contingencies. Make plans, make friends, have your own savings.
- Comment on Have you encountered this? 1 month ago:
That would be quite optimistic, but this is something I’ve noticed at multiple restaurants myself. I saw the tip “suggestions” were not accurate so I checked to see what numbers they might have been using and tried the after tax amount etc, but nope the numbers are just inflated artificially. It’s happened with or without alcohol on the tab, with and without sale items, and I don’t ever really get anything “comped” unless it’s a sauce on the side or something. I wouldn’t say it’s a scam, but I did roll my eyes the first time I noticed it.
- Comment on What game sequel ruined a beloved franchise or character for you? 1 month ago:
I don’t think that’s a fair assessment of Guild Wars 2. It was not a true sequel to Guild Wars 1 but it’s a decent game in its own right. I can see that if you’re playing a great city builder game and they announced a sequel, you would be thrown if that sequel was a 4x instead. But in this analogy, it’s a damn good 4x and maybe even the best amongst its contemporaries. Plus the original game is still there in all of its charm and originality, they’ve kept the servers running this long and seem to plan on keeping on doing so until no one is playing.
- Comment on What are the best free mmorpgs for a beginner? 2 months ago:
Yep absolutely seconding this one. Everything is very much a play-as-you-want playground, with many ways to level and a low stress, community based world. Pretty much everything that causes friction against other players in other MMOs (kill stealing, limited resource mining, open world pvp etc) just isn’t in the game or in its own little spot.
I will say that it has a lot of complexity and systems on systems that have built up over time that can be opaque and overwhelming. But again, you have the choice not to engage, and can do perfectly well running your character around maps exploring and picking cabbages and pumpkins and doing whatever you think looks interesting. Just remember to change out your armor and weapons every few levels on your way to 80.
- Comment on Vintage gaming advertising pictures: a gallery 2 months ago:
Kolanaki linked it above. It’s a disgusting crusty gamer den implying the game is so addictive you’ll live in filth. I remember that image being on the first couple of pages of a PC Gamer issue from the late 90s or early 00’s.
- Comment on Vintage gaming advertising pictures: a gallery 2 months ago:
I remember seeing these ads as an impressionable young gamer and getting the idea that Playstations had games that were scary and weird, and Nintendo games and handhelds were for boys. Generally the ads told me “this is not for you”. Because I only ever saw ads for specific PC games and never for PCs themselves, (they were aimed at adults, not in the kind of magazines and comics young me was perusing) even though I was still not the target market it clicked more with me. I think that might be a part of why I’ve only really gotten into PC games over the years. I knew there were games I’d like and games I wouldn’t, and never got the same platform level messaging
I remember seeing an ad for Thief and thought it looked cool, and I remember being super grossed out by that Quake 3 ad, but I never felt unwelcome or out of place playing PC games. The focus on marketing to young males is really obvious in these console ads.
Examples of some PC game ads I remember working for me and led to me getting them:
cdn.mobygames.com/…/18308445-thief-the-dark-proje…
- Comment on Star Wars is an ode to the stupidest use of battle lasers 2 months ago:
A humble farm boy’s parents and village are burned, leading to him leaving his home and finding refuge with a wise old man who has special powers. He tells him he knew his father, that he was a knight and they fought together. He gives him his father’s sword, and teaches him to use his own special powers. They receive a message from a princess in distress, who tells them she’s being held hostage by the evil emperor. They travel to save her with the help of a roguish anti-hero and free the princess. Once freed, they learn of a crucial weakness in the emperor’s fortress, and together they lead a raid to siege it. They succeed with the help of a rag tag bunch of rebels and the princess awards them with medals in her throne room.
That doesn’t sound like a story about how technology, science or knowledge effects people or society to me.
- Comment on Ethical frameworks are detrimental to Scientific Study because Science is by nature unethical. 2 months ago:
Yes, because context matters. Exceptions don’t make the rule, and speaking generally about things is allowed when they are related.
So what is the exception here? You said, and I quote, “science is by nature unethical”. So you’re saying any experimental methodology in any school of science exploring any number of completely benign things is somehow unethical.
This isn’t debate club.
I see you’re new to the internet.
- Comment on Ethical frameworks are detrimental to Scientific Study because Science is by nature unethical. 2 months ago:
Ah yes, everyone knows how famously unethical astronomers are, they should respect the privacy and consent of supernovas. Filthy perverts peeping on those innocent stars!
- Comment on Ethical frameworks are detrimental to Scientific Study because Science is by nature unethical. 2 months ago:
You said “science”, not any specific type or category of study, so if you mean a specific school of science is unethical you should make that distinction.
- Comment on Ethical frameworks are detrimental to Scientific Study because Science is by nature unethical. 2 months ago:
Why do you think that asking questions, making a hypothesis, testing that hypothesis and writing down the results is unethical?
- Comment on How do you think early humans survived without water bottles? Did they just live next to water sources all the time? 2 months ago:
Yes, humans used to live much closer to water sources. On a town level, if you didn’t have a creek or river nearby you just didn’t settle there. Available water was absolutely necessary for domestic animals, cooking, washing, and of course drinking. On a personal level, you would go in the morning to a central well or water source and gather your water you would need for the day. Depending on the household needs it might be multiple trips with heavy, full vessels. You would put the water in to household water vessels, like a basin for cleaning or a ewer for washing or your cook pot. If you were thirsty at home, you would take a dipper (basically a ladle) and take some water from the household supply.
Where did you get the impression we didn’t used to have water bottles? They weren’t made of plastic or metal but humans have carried water with them for probably as long as we’ve used tools. You can carry water in drinking horns, in clay pots, wooden buckets, in dried out animal bladders or leather skeins, and there’s literally a type of gourd called a “bottle gourd” which has been dried out and used as a personal water bottle for milennia across any region that can grow them. Don’t underestimate human ingenuity, we didn’t always have access to the same technology and materials but we have always been able to problem solve. - Comment on [deleted] 3 months ago:
I’ve personally only seen kids on leashes in the context I mentioned above, of a large, crowded event where a few bodies moving in the way of your kid will break line of sight entirely. Outdoor festivals, concerts, fairs, amusement parks etc. I have never seen a kid on a leash at a playground or park or bank or grocery store etc. Toddlers are small and if there’s a lot of bodies around it would be VERY easy to lose sight of them. If my kid ran off and broke my line of sight of him in a crowd I absolutely would have a moment of panic. Again, I’m not going to judge other parents for finding solutions to problems that don’t harm the child.
I got away from my mother at a large event, and left her panicking and organizing other parents to search for me. When they found me she spanked me and yelled at me for running off. It wasn’t the first time and wouldn’t be the last. Obviously hitting me was wrong, but if she had just used a tether it would never have happened.
Something’s lack of representation in media is not exactly a reliable metric of commonality, if it was, gay people sprang into being in the late 90s.
- Comment on [deleted] 3 months ago:
It’s normal enough. I saw a couple of kids on wrist leashes just this weekend at a very crowded outdoor event. The kids were probably about 2 and 3. I have a 3 year old as well, and didn’t have him on a leash because he’s responsive to my voice calling him and has decent (for his age) impulse control. I didn’t judge or have negative impressions of those parents. They were present and just trying to enjoy the event with their kids. It’s HIGHLY kid dependent. When I was a toddler, I was the type to just run off in a crowd and I could have saved my mother a lot of grief and panic if she had a leash for me. It’s just another tool available to parents.
It’s important not to project your feelings as an adult, because you have different assumptions, associations and contexts tied to leashes than a toddler does. Generally, toddlers are taught to have shame or be embarrassed about things, their default sentiment to most things is extremely pragmatic. A toddler on a leash will be focused on the tactile sensation of it on their wrist or body, the effect it has of limiting their movement, and not much else. Think about when you saw those kids on leashes… were they upset about the leash? Were they trying to get out of it? Were they asking their guardians to please take it off? Or were they just kinda being silly kids running around exploring?
- Comment on Hot sauce is for Dad to protect his food from scavenging by lesser beings 4 months ago:
My kid was born with a taste for spicy food. When he was about one he used to try to swig the spicy mayo bottle. When he was two he was doing the “more” gesture for more Sriracha on his burrito meat. He’s three now and regularly eats off his Dad’s plate when he has food that makes my nose run. He will probably be snorting Pepper X by his teens.
- Comment on What is your favorite indie game? 4 months ago:
Banished, you can’t get more Indie than just one guy’s passion project.
I don’t know what it is about that game but it really struck a chord with me and I’ve come back to it over and over. It’s my favorite game to play when I’m sick and can’t do anything. It’s relaxing and peaceful and cozy while also being complex and ruthlessly challenging at the same time, so it’s like spinning plates. Seems easy when you get the hang of it but it can all come crashing down if you make a bad enough mistake. It’s spawned some copy cats, and I’ve tried them, but the original just gets me somehow.
- Comment on What's the point in getting married? 4 months ago:
This exactly. It’s an easily recognizable legal shortcut to a bunch of systems, rules and privileges that apply to the situation of two people wanting to live their lives together. Doesn’t have to cost much, if anything, and doesn’t have to have anything at all to do with religion or rituals. Can be just two people showing up at the town hall if you want it to be.
- Comment on OG Guild Wars sees an all-new Steam concurrency high during its anniversary celebration | Massively Overpowered 4 months ago:
It’s definitely not Guild Wars 1, but it does still have a “low level cap” in the way that it’s extremely easy to get to max level doing a variety of content, then the vast majority of content is done at that level. You probably reach level 80 within completing about 5%-10% of the total available content, so it’s just a number. The way you “advance” your character is through gear and cosmetics, and there’s an account leveling system called masteries you unlock at 80.
- Comment on OG Guild Wars sees an all-new Steam concurrency high during its anniversary celebration | Massively Overpowered 4 months ago:
As a long time fan and proud GWAMM, honestly it doesn’t need the “classic” treatment. It’s still online, and the last major content patches didn’t change anything significant enough to alter the gameplay in a way that would make people “miss the old days”. They added some end game content and some quality of life improvements and some tools that allowed players to more easily solo content, then left well enough alone. It still has a small core of regular players, and has the event schedule going on auto. I suppose they could do some graphical improvements but it’s still a very good game as it is
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