Dating apps and irl just isn’t doing it. Escorts are pricey after awhile and not as satisfying and meaningful. Plus I don’t wanna have to pay women for play every one time hookup. Any suggestions?
Lower your standards and close down some bars.
What's the easiest way to get hookups without seeing escorts?
Submitted 3 weeks ago by LeaveItToGod@lemmy.zip to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
Comments
seathru@lemmy.sdf.org 3 weeks ago
Weirdfish@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
This is the way
nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 2 weeks ago
Honestly, one doesn’t really have to have low standards when taking that approach. Just go to bars that fit one’s vibe and talk to people, and don’t be judgemental on superficial things. Either it’ll click with someone or not.
To be fair, it does help if one finds the majority of people of their preferred gender(s) to have something beautiful about them.
And being a bit of a slut. I can state from personal experience that that helps. Embrace your inner slut (ethically).
blarghly@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Sorry, you’ve pegged the three main ways of finding girls who want to bang quick - online, in bars or clubs, and plunking down some cash. There is no magical place where there are an excess number of sexy, horny women looking to hook up with an average guy - that is a fantasy.
The reality is, simply must beat out your competition.
Online, that means having good (ie, excellent) pictures and paying money to the apps.
IRL, it means having a good personality, being able to hold a conversation and flirt well, and being able to handle a lot of rejection to your face.
In both cases, it means dressing and grooming yourself both well and with a distinctive style, looking healthy and athletic, and playing the numbers game.
Straight up: if you are not at least adequate in all these respects, literally all you have to do is get to work. Asking more questions isn’t as important as straightening out your diet, hitting the gym, hitting the mall, hiring a photographer, and talking to as many people as you possibly can until you are comfortable and confident talking to strangers.
This is, admittedly, an absolute shit ton of work. But it is the way to regularly get girls to want to hook up with you. No shortcuts - just be better.
*One footnote - if you do not live in a major metro area or college town, your success rate will drop dramatically simply due to demographics. Women in general, and especially women who are open to hooking up, tend to congregate to these areas. You aren’t gonna get much poon in a north dakota oil field, brochahco.
qevlarr@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
git gud
ruuster13@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
OP - read a different comment.
LesbiansMadeMeGay@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Well first of all through God all things are possible so jot that down.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I have to put my penis inside God and go through him to stick my penis inside women???
Dude.
You overestimate the size of my penis. It is NOT 4 feet long!
edgemaster72@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Maybe you’re supposed to put your dick in God then puppet God around to fuck the women with God’s dick
moseschrute@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
Shut up Mac
Kneew@lemy.lol 3 weeks ago
**::: spoiler spoiler ¯( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ ) :::
Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 weeks ago
Be gay (or have zero standards, including gender) and get on Grindr.
Spacehooks@reddthat.com 3 weeks ago
dustyData@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Please don’t propagate the myth that all gays are ultra horny and promiscuous all the time. It is not true. Gay men deal with a shit ton of toxic standards as well.
AgentRocket@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
the myth that all gays are ultra horny and promiscuous all the time.
I don’t think any reasonable person believes that, but i’m sure the amount of gay men who are horny, promiscuous and aren’t flooded with offers is a lot higher than the amount of straight women who are horny, promiscuous and not flooded by offers.
Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 weeks ago
IDK about all gays, but the ones on Grindr sure as hell are.
Source: I’m on Grindr.
Apepollo11@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
There was a guy with an awfully similar name to you, asking awfully similar questions.
I’m not trying to out you if you’re actually the same guy trying to get around a ban, but if you are, why pick such a similar name? It’s bordering on suspicious - picking an explicitly religious name then posting about prostitutes.
If this is coincidence, and you’re a completely different guy with a similar name posting about a similar topic within the space of a week, I apologise - and I don’t want to freak you out too much, but you may have a doppelganger.
apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Seeing this account with the same posts gives me bot vibes.
solrize@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
Oh I was going to suggest Mouser and DIgikey for most kinds of electrical stuff, but it sounds like you are after something different.
jj4211@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I mean given the right socket…
daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
Step 1: be attractive. Step 2: be attractive.
If you want quick heterosexual sex woth a woman without paying you’ll need to be attractive, that’s about it.
Now, if you were gay things would be easier.
JadenSmith@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
You also need to be a bit more socially aware.
I’ve had many people tell me I’m attractive, yet at the same time I turned down coffee because it was the evening and I was trying to watch my caffeine intake. During my late school years someone sat next to me as I was eating Lucky Charms with chocolate milk, and said she loves chocolate after sex. My reaction? “Oh, I can only imagine! I quite like the combination with the marshmallows, as they absorb some of the taste. You see…”
Just a couple examples, though honestly it would be nice to have some sort of guidebook on these things. I swear I’ve missed a million and a half opportunities, only to be woken up from my sleep a year later all “MOTHERFUCKER”.surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Step 1: be funny, or witty, or share common interests, or kind, or have good hygiene
Source: am not very attractive, got very laid.
I guess I still do, since I’m married. But the requirements have changed slightly. Now it’s more about listening and helping and being emotionally available.
daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
On bars and tinder?
Without being good locking you go nowhere nowadays. You don’t even get a chance to show how funny, witty, common interests you have, much less to show that you have a good hygiene, for that you need a date first. And you are not getting swiped right if you are not attractive.
That is good for other kind of relationships, meeting people in other places and flirting. That can get you laid, but not the same type of quick casual sex that op is asking for. That’s more of a “start a relationship” kind of deal.
For the kind of date that goes “let’s have a drink to figure that you are not a psychopath that’s going to kill me and then to my place to fuck”, you need to be attractive.
I like to be clear with this. Because there’s tons of very good young men, who are funny, have great hygiene, are witty, are nice. And they have to confront the reality that without being good locking they will have to assume that that kind of sex is most likely out of the table, and they better try to build other kind of relationships instead. i prefer that to gaslighting them into thinking they don’t get laid because they are terrible people on the inside or have terrible hygiene, when this is most likely not true. And when they are seeing truly terrible people getting laid regardless because they are good looking.
My advice is that if you are not good looking you have mostly two options, think about experimenting with gay sex (you might like it) or completely opt out the dating scene (specially dating apps) and just build into making friends and potential love partners. Without really expecting quick casual sex, as that will lead to huge frustrations.
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Ok, assume OP fits both rules. Then what
daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Go on tinder or a music pub, whatever he prefers, and approach people that he finds attractive.
Go with respect and making things clear, to avoid issues. He would need a few tries but surely he would be able to find who finds him attractive and it’s down for some uncompromised sexy time.
dustyData@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
if you were gay things would be easier.
If you don’t have standards, maybe …
Gays looking for a hookup are some of the most superficial and demanding dating pool members. Dudes looking like the Penguin on Batman Returns will demand Adonis or infant looking twinks and nothing else. It’s very hard and very rare to find people actually willing to give a chance to non-hegemonic looking guys.
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
gay porn also pretty much ruined gay peoples expectation. its either twinks, daddies, buff guys, or abs,etc.
SineNomen@lemmynsfw.com 3 weeks ago
Get a kinky hobby and then join your local community. For me it was bondage. Go to meetings, get to know people (emphasis on people). When you pass the vibe check you should get invited to parties. During all this you should be able to get to know enough people who are DTF.
MomoGajo@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Get interested in the world around you in some way and then meet up with others with those same interests.
hisao@ani.social 3 weeks ago
Easier said than done.
MomoGajo@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Yes, but it is a step. It could be as simple as learning more about an animal or even a tv show. Fan spaces can be anywhere. Libraries exist and frequently have free activities for people to attend. I’m not saying it’s easy, but having something to talk about is better than nothing.
frightful_hobgoblin@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
Clubs, streets, bookshops, cafés, etc.
LeaveItToGod@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Dance clubs? All set and same with streets
vane@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Mandatory cartoon instructions
Boomhauer Teaches Bobby How To Pick Up Women
www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7FVmeJXwCYbitjunkie@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I hate that it works, but it definitely does.
LeaveItToGod@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
This was great thank you lmao
Flax_vert@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
Are you the same guy who was struggling on here a while ago?
blargle@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
spoiler
Yes
z3rOR0ne@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
The easiest thing to do is make friends with plenty of people IRL through a shared hobby or interest. Those that are interested in being FWB will make themselves apparent over time. Just be honest and when appropriate, let people know you’re DTF, but not looking for anything more than sex right now.
There aren’t many people not looking for long term monogomous committed relationships. There might even be none in your area depending on your age and other factors. But that’s the best advice I can give on the matter.
overload@sopuli.xyz 3 weeks ago
Join a choir. The ratio of men to women is very favourable and you’re showing a musical/sensitive side that is generally appealing.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Yeah, but I have the singing talent of Yoko Ono
Brkdncr@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Friend of a friend used dating apps to find places to sleep while traveling, and couch surfing apps to find hookups.
Fleur_@aussie.zone 2 weeks ago
Gotta drop your standards
ruuster13@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
You’re in the right place but may have the wrong attitude. Just remember: everyone you deem beneath you forgets about you the second they’re underneath someone else.
HatchetHaro@pawb.social 2 weeks ago
Grindr.
lemming741@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
This question is kinda like asking what’s the easiest way to get rich quick?
- Easy
- Rich
- Quick
Pick 2
ExperimentalGuy@programming.dev 2 weeks ago
Can I get easy quick
INHALE_VEGETABLES@aussie.zone 2 weeks ago
Sup
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
isnt that what tinder is for?
Fingolfinz@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I have heard apps have become more difficult but that’s usually how I ended up finding hook ups. Bars and clubs are usually the other way. I’ve also been in a relationship for the last decade so maybe a lot has changed since I stopped having casual sex
blargh513@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
If you’re not able to go out and get some ass in the next 48 hours from a stranger, then you should probably not be replying with advice. For better or for worse, op is looking for a quick shag. Telling him to go to the library or church to find a gentle and kind lover who will appreciate him for his personality is not what is being asked for.
Son wants to clap some cheeks and wants to know where he can find a population of the sort of women who wants to get they cheeks clapped without a lot of questions.
I don’t know if it is a realistic request, but thats what he asked.
Sergio@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Straight talker! Upper management written all over 'em.
False@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
If it was realistic for op he probably wouldn’t have to ask
Azzu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
This comment was adressed at other people giving advice, not for OP.
kn33@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
You don’t know that
nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 2 weeks ago
I agree and disagree at the same time. Bars/clubs/etc can be good for quick hookups. Social hobbies can lay groundwork for much greater depths of sustained sluttery.