Submitted 9 months ago by PeterPoopshit@lemmy.world to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
I like women. I like the shape and curves of the female body. I like boobs, I like asses, I like pretty vaginas. I also appreciate and am aroused by a nice cock. I’m however not otherwise attracted to the male body. I like femboys as long as they have a feminine-like shape and curves, as many of them do.
WTF is my sexual orientation?
Strictly speaking, that’s simply bisexual. Femboys are boys. That being said, there is no “correct” answer here that anyone else can give you.
The correct label is the one that helps you navigate the world and your own needs the best. If bisexual fits, congrats, that’s it. If it doesn’t, it’s not, and your search continues :)
Its not bisexual, assuming bisexual means in this context a biologically born man who is equally sexually attracted to gay men and straight women, or bi men and bi women.
It also is not pansexual, as there’s clearly /I don’t actually have equal sexual attraction to literally anyone/ going on.
I am actually like this too, have been for a long time.
Now, I do not want to presume to speak for this person, so the rest of this is just me.
Maybe they can chime in and agree or disagree.
Absolutely not attracted to men, of any kind of presentation.
But… I’d love to find a woman who could peg me, or a transwoman. I’d fellatio a transwoman’s unit no problem. But not a gay man, or a bi man.
So… by that, we’ve got what used to be called basically a kinky guy?
And while I am an lgtbq ally (or arguably member), Ive always been comfortable with my own male body, and basically present as a cis male.
So, its some new kind of sexuality there is not really a name for yet.
At least for me, it isn’t femboy, as I have 0 interest in being essentially a feminine cross dresser with very submissive personality traits and cutesy uwu affectations.
I have nothing against femboys, but I personally would not be interested in a romantic or sexual relationship with one.
assuming bisexual means in this context a biologically born man who is equally sexually attracted to gay men and straight women
Bisexual doesn’t mean that… Bisexual means someone who is attracted to two or more genders…
At least for me, it isn’t femboy
The OP explicitly said they’re attracted to femboys, so their experience is different to yours.
The only person who can say whether bisexual is the right label for the OP though is the OP. But if they feel it fits, it fits exactly the experience they’ve described.
I think Hetroflexable is more of a fit for OP
Idk, sexual orientations are just labels we make up to make sense of the world.
"Femmesexual" sounds kind of cool though.
I think the term gynosexual already covers it. But yeah, if it’s pretty, fuck it. Labels are a useful shorthand but not always necessary.
For me "gyno" has connotations of biological sex/female genitalia because of its use in biology and gynacology etc.
So I picked femme because it's more about gender presentation.
But everyone's different. Whatever makes OP happy.
Also finsexual. They’re pretty much synonymous.
I guess you’re some flavor of bisexual as you are attracted to some men (based on the femboy remark) though you’ve got a distinct preference for femininity even in men. If you go scrolling through old Tumblr posts long enough you’ll probably find a term someone coined back in 2013 for your exact orientation… But, like, IDK man don’t overthink it. If anyone asks just say whatever feels right in that moment, straight/bi/pan/whatever.
And remember saying you identify with a particular orientation isn’t some huge commitment. Saying you’re bi (for instance) doesn’t mean you’re attracted to all men, and no reasonable person would expect that. We all have preferences within our orientation.
AITA?
No. You’re figuring it out. It’s okay to not have all the answers
If anyone asks just say whatever feels right in that moment, straight/bi/pan/whatever.
Especially in mixed company, my go-to is “sexual.” Those who don’t know will hear a non-answer to a rude question but your friends will recognize it as candor.
It also sidesteps the tiresome bi/pan distinction.
Right, I’m not atheist but not do I believe in the “god” of abrahamic religions, or the pantheons of others, nor that Buddha literally reincarnated; But I do believe there is some force or meaning behind existence. So I’m just “spiritual.” Sometimes a general label can work
the joy of scrolling through everything feed
Me too. Alllll the way to the bottom of Lemmy we go …
Who cares what label people might put on it?
Just like what you like. It doesn’t need a label.
What you are today is not what you’ll be tomorrow. Let yourself be. You don’t owe explanations to anyone about what you like.
Too much porn is my diagnosis.
Or maybe too little. Science will be necessary.
As if there could be such a thing!
Sexuality is a spectrum that doesn’t have clean boundaries. Some people exist in an area that could be considered “straight,” for example, but there aren’t hard walls blocking straight people from leaving or queer people from entering.
The less you try to define your sexuality and the more you try to be comfortable with liking what you like, the happier you’ll be.
+1 to this for sure. Applies for gender identity too. Speaking just for myself, the longer it’s been since I transitioned the less my actual labeled identity has mattered, to the point that I just say “nonbinary” and move on. It’s what makes a lot of the “what is a woman” rhetoric baffling, given the label and definition matters so little in day to day life.
My bf is pretty much straight, but he describes himself as pansexual and attracted to feminine people. It’s cool to see him engage with the queer community despite being more or less able to “pass” as cishet if he wanted to, and his nebulous labeling was really helpful in settling my nerves as a newly-out trans woman. Less worrying about whether or not I was woman enough, more just hearing him say he likes me and that’s that.
Yep! I feel similar to your bf myself, actually, but I try not to describe myself that way except to people like my partner. I feel that at this point, itd be closer to stolen Valor in my case. I honestly feel it’d put more queer people at odds with me, so I just call myself straight with caveats.
Glad to hear things seem to be going well for you!
Hey I’ve got the same preferences as you. I just go with bisexual and call it a day.
I will second this ^
why would you be an asshole for being attracted to cock?
Right? He could also be a pussy or a mouth!
You get out there and suck a few girl cocks. Only then will you know the truth of your desires. I mean how bad could it be? Personally wouldn’t worry about it. If the dude who’s cock you’re sucking thinks you’re not gay then I would trust him.
Congrats! You’re human.
What incredibly enough hasn’t been brought up yet, is the distinction between gender preference and genital preference. In heteronormativity they’re assumed to be the same, but in reality they’re not. This way of thinking also lends itself to the flexibility you’re describing; note the word “preference”.
You’re bi, my dude. You just said you love vaginas and cock. Case closed.
Yeah, they’re bi and they have a type.
I personally struggled for a long time trying to find the right label for my gender and sexuality. In the end, the right label for both is “just me”. Whatever I’m attracted to is what I’m attracted to. Whatever I feel like on a certain day is what gender I am. Just me doing me things
Your a Wizard, an Ishtar sent by the Valar.
By Manwë and Varda they’re right… though I think there’s a fair argument that Mithrandir is not only sent by the Valar but actually an avatar of Manwë themselves.
I long ago decided that is humans aren’t attracted to “male” or “female”, we’re attracted to “masculinity” or “femininity”. Gender has nothing to do with it.
It’s why, like you, I can be attracted to a feminine looking trans woman, but not a masculine looking one, or a dude.
it’s why homosexuals can be masculine or feminine (bear or boujee), and be attracted to one or three other, or both.
Masculinity and feminity has nothing to do with whether one has a cock or a vagina.
Masculinity and femininity are broad terms that encompass physical and social traits. I don’t think it’s possible to narrow it down quite like you have there.
My own experience of attraction has very little to do with social presentation of masculinity or femininity for example.
I understand your position. I feel the exact same way. I identify much like you, I am attracted to the feminine features not whatever label you have or what have been biologically created between your legs.
When I was younger I just told myself “nah I’m straight”, and somewhere realized that i might be what people called “bi-curious”. But after a while I realized I had no interest in masculinity or “regular” males.
Being able to detach social gender labels from biological genitalia and therefore further deepen my understanding and acceptance of trans and LGBTQ people helped me a lot with accepting myself and my preferences.
As for your question, it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that you know what you like. Who you decide to spend time with or engage in sexual relations with is up to the people involved and no one else. I ultimately decided to still just call myself straight. Is it entirely correct? Maybe not, but it sure is the easiest.
Enjoy life, hook up with a femboy, get pegged or have a one night stand with a 6,8 mega masculine dude. It’s up to you, the thing that matters is that you know what you enjoy.
Life is to short to put labels on dicks and vaginas. Just fuck it instead.
Who needs labels? Probably just warehouse people.
As a former warehouse employee I can attest to the value of labels. They’re what ensure that when you order a 3/8 box wrench you don’t get shipped a pair of white bunny slippers.
Tbh if I ordered a wrench and got bunny slippers I’d be wearing them every day, that sounds like one of the best accidents possible.
Oh yeah, I’ve worked warehouse.
Smh, warehouse people always trying to keep things in boxes
The only thing I’m commenting on is the “AITA”:
If anything then only for asking that question - don’t be mean to yourself like that.
Exactly… I was so confused by the AITA thing. Maybe OP meant to put a different acronym and wrote AITA by mistake?
“all I think about” instead of “am I the asshole”?
Don’t worry about matching a label, just be what’s right for you
I’m very tired and I misread the title to say you like to cook, so I was going to suggest you’re a foodsexual
Straight+
Straight Extra
Bi minus
Bi lite
Or just dont label it. Labels keep us in boxes and boxes cause stress when we inevitably find out we dont fit in the box.
I came up with this idea err metaphor? Thought experiment? Anyway
Think of the shape of a 6 point star. If you are star shaped you will fit perfectly, if you are triangle shaped you will also fit, or if you are diamond shaped or a circle or a hexagon or many many other shapes.
But only a star fits perfectly.
(Heres a crude drawing of it)
You can spend years in the star box thinking its a perfect fit before you realise theres something different, something not quite right and you suddenly see that you were a triangle the whole time.
Just let go of the labels and be you, its alot more spacious outside of the box, and you dont have to be a certain way to fit in.
Seems to me you are attracted to feminine genders. Assuming you are male I’d say your sexual orientation is pretty straight.
what about the feminine cocks ?
Sometimes those are straight, and sometimes they have a nice little curve to them.
Straight guys aren’t into femboys though.
Maybe, maybe not. Just depends TBH.
I have a friend like you. He describes himself as gynesexual. He’s attracted to femininity no matter what the attached bits are.
But, as others have said, the label is really only important to you. Pick something close or make up your own.
I was gonna say a trans-inclusive lesbian / straight man, but this fits way more.
Humans aren’t attracted only to genitalia since that shit is hard to see from afar, evolutionarily it makes sense we’d find secondary sexual characteristics attractive also, overall body shapes, hair, skin etc.
So you don’t like penises per se, you like penises when attached to otherwise people who tick those feminine boxes you care about whether they be trans or just crossdressers.
That’s actually really common I find because almost every single man I dated gave that same take, they all considered themselves straight and were never with a trans woman before me.
I’d say you’re pretty much just straight with a specific penis fetish, even bi people IRL generally date people who are all the way masc and all the way fem.
Not to gatekeep being bi though if that’s what you feel more comfortable with - go for it.
Otherwise just love who you love and move on with it.
You may be finsexual:
https://queerdom.fandom.com/wiki/Finsexual
Basically, finsexuals are attracted to feminine presenting people independent of sex or gender. If I understood you correctly, its the feminine presentation that appeals to you?
From the title I thought it’s being attracted to finances.
The only way to find out is to send me all of your money.
There most likely is a term for that but FIN is Feminine In Nature.
I’d like to speak to the board members that voted for that flag. That is lame-o.
Google maps sexual
I'd also class as demi, so I prefer that one if I were inclined to advertise my sexuality offline.
Sounds like you are very similar to me and a billion or so other people. I don't see much point in creating a label for it. You are what you are and don't worry about it. I had a thing with a trans woman for a while and now I'm happily married with kids. Whatever I am has never had a negative affect on my life because I don't worry about what I am.
You dont habe to be attracted to all genders the same way to be BI. You can have a preference or stronger attraction to certain genders and presentations. If you think that some non-binary people and fem-boys are attractive then ur probably Bi
Today@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I once read a personal ad - “single white female, 8 inch clit”
We have too many labels. You’re a human who knows what you like today. It’s ok if something totally different floats your boat tomorrow.
Talaraine@kbin.social 9 months ago
Totally agree. I'm not sure why everyone focuses so hard on determining how many letters there are in their alphabet. 5 years from now it might be totally diff. It would be so refreshing if people simply said "Here's what floats my boat today"
cabbage@piefed.social 9 months ago
I guess the + in LBGTQHA+ could be replaced with WFYB , for convenience.