assuming bisexual means in this context a biologically born man who is equally sexually attracted to gay men and straight women
Bisexual doesn’t mean that… Bisexual means someone who is attracted to two or more genders…
At least for me, it isn’t femboy
The OP explicitly said they’re attracted to femboys, so their experience is different to yours.
The only person who can say whether bisexual is the right label for the OP though is the OP. But if they feel it fits, it fits exactly the experience they’ve described.
vexikron@lemmy.zip 9 months ago
Hrm, every self professed bi person I’ve ever met described themselves the way I described them as, likewise with every pan person.
Didn’t realize the the definition of bi had changed.
Today I Learned, I guess.
I’d call that polysexual, if it means attraction to 2+ genders, though I get that the term comes from back before gender itself was really widely critically analyzed.
And of course polysexual would be confused with polyamorous.
ickplant@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Bi has never meant “equal attraction.” Have you not heard of the Kinsey Scale? There are multiple levels of bisexuality.
vexikron@lemmy.zip 9 months ago
Ah, yes, I have. I shouldn’t have phrased it as equal attraction, perhaps, ‘willingness to sexually engage with either sex’.
Though isn’t the Kinsey Scale now woefully out of date anyway, as it comes from research in the America of 1948 and 1953, only considering essentially men and women, and hetero and homosexuality, when it is now understood that gender is actually distinct from sex?
ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 months ago
It hasn’t. The bisexual manifesto, going back to 1990 for example, said the following
vexikron@lemmy.zip 9 months ago
Huh, I hadn’t read it. Everyone I know / knew who identified as bi in the 00s or 10s explained it to me as I said, and that does seem to be the general public understanding of the term by anyone Ive talked to in person in the last 5 years or so.
Ive also had self professed pan people explain bisexuality to me as I originally described it as recently as 2 years ago.
ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 months ago
And that is ultimately why everyone gets to pick their own labels irrelevant of discussions like the one we’re having. It’s all subjective and malleable over time!
xmunk@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
Absofuckinglutely, in particular there’s far too much assumption out there that bi people must be poly - it’s a large portion of why I shifted my chosen label to pan… that and because there was briefly a strong anti-trans bisexual movement.
Diotima@kbin.social 9 months ago
Bisexual is defined as attraction to more than one gender, where gender is a component of the attraction. So if you 96% like one gender, 3% another, and 1% yet another, that's bi. If you're 60/40, that's bi too. Bi = multiple genders where gender plays a factor. It has never meant only 50/50.
Pansexual is attraction to people where gender doesn't play a role. Pansexuals' patterns may look like a bisexual's patterns because they date across genders, but the attraction matrix is different.
Finsexual (Gynesexual) is attracted to feminine traits generally. Whether penis or vagina, it is the femininity they like. I can speak to this as this is me. I like feminity, not necessarily women particularly. I use bisexual as shorthand because most people "get" that.
Solid definitions:
https://queerdom.fandom.com/wiki/Bisexual
https://queerdom.fandom.com/wiki/Pansexual
https://queerdom.fandom.com/wiki/Finsexual
degen@midwest.social 9 months ago
200% blahaj
Acamon@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I’ve never met a bi person who insisted that they’re attraction to the genders were equal. Many had preferences (mostly into women, but defintely go with certain guys) and many had phases (more into men today, but was previously crushing hard on that girl). It’s one of the commonly talked about sources of bianxiety, that you can go through a period where you start thinking “am I really bi? Maybe I’m just straight / gay” and then you see someone and remember “no, I’m totally bi”. Bi erasure is such a thing it even effects bi folks! (source am bi, have lots of bi friends)