Submitted 1 year ago by Salamendacious@lemmy.world to technology@lemmy.world
https://gizmodo.com/college-students-dump-dating-apps-bumble-ceo-steps-down-1850995050
‘It’s not you, it’s me’ is the gist of college student qualms with dating apps. Hook-up culture declines while young people search for genuine connection.
I doubt the core of this is any social awakening…the platforms are simply unusable due to the amount of scams, bots, and spam.
Also, paid models simply won’t work in this sector. Attractive people simply don’t need the apps.
attractive people don’t need the apps
There’s more to this; attractive people also use the apps not to actually find partners but for entertainment and validation.
These apps are filled with shit like that meaning earnest users must wade through even more trash
Attractive people simply don’t need the apps.
and funnily enough, attractive people are being “promoted” by the apps. By “promoted” I mean, that people who receive a lot of right-swipes are pushed higher in the stack of appearing to users because if users were seeing not-attractive users, they would ditch the app.
Attractive ppl have their own app it’s called raya.
I like how the title implies that the college students have dumped the app because the CEO has stepped down, as if they only kept using it to not hurt the CEO’s feelings.
Many posts in lemmy have confusing titles.
I wonder if posters like OP brainstorm for 10 min like…
How can I make the title more confusing?
It’s the title on the article.
When I posted an article I got a message saying it would be deleted unless I altered my title to the title of the article on the site. I didn’t care for the article on the site but rather the content. I haven’t posted since so I don’t know if that has changed, but I was kind of turned off from posting do to that.
While this article and post happen to have the same title I have noticed that way too many posts have editorialized titles that aren’t nearly what the article is portraying. Needs to be more rules for these communities that the post title must match the article title.
We should stop calling these titles confusing and call them what they are, plain wrong. This is the title of the original article. People who cannot write grammatically correct titles are writing entire articles.
I took it the exact opposite way. College students aren’t using the app and the CEO was forced out.
Probably never should have tried to make money off hook apps in the first place. When you have a rotten business idea, eventually the house of cards come tumbling down. I’m surprised it took this long.
Investors made bank either way. Same shit with Airbnb. It doesn’t have to be a sustainable business if you can make a shit ton of money in a short amount of time.
So pump n dump has more than one meaning here.
Welcome to capitalism. It may not be the best system…but the oligarchs say it’s the only one we can have (until NeoFeudalism).
Grindr was fine from what I hear. But it had a unique way to succeed. Horny men want horny men right now. It was an evolution of cruising not of dating.
The rest? Yeah I meet people in person for a reason.
Grindr went through a period where it was really shit, but in the last two years or so it has gotten a lot better.
She’s succeeded by Lidiane Jones, a former CEO of Slack, who’s looking for opportunities to use artificial intelligence in dating app algorithms.
Oh great, just what we needed, app sponsored AI bots to lure people into paying premium
app sponsored AI bots to lure people into paying premium
sorry but what do you mean? Can you please explain?
The apps can literally just use AIs to pretend to be real people convincingly to get people to pay for a premium membership to presumably be able to arrange a meetup. After they pay for premium, they’re ghosted, and it’s too late to get their money back.
Among other things
Pretty much what pinkdrunkenelephants said earlier, but more likely just fake profiles that are filled with “interesting” random tidbits. On the off case that they match, some conversation might happen and I’d actually bet on the bot eventually ghosting or coming up with an excuse to leave the person and wishing them luck, which more easily avoids being found out and also has a good chance of keeping the person in the app.
Join blah you have 3 premium messages waiting…
It doesn’t help that these dating apps are all deeply enshittified. The free experience is kind of shitty, and the paid is suspect and expensive.
They could do more to focus on matching by something other than pictures. Shared interests, maybe.
They could do more to deal with bots, scams, and low effort users.
They could stop showing me people that live in Thailand. For some reason tinder likes to show me people that live 8000 miles away. Probably because they’re paying for it, but it makes the app worse for me.
I can’t speak to what college kids are up to these days. I’m old. I’ve never had a lot of luck “just meeting” people in real life, though. I always struggled with figuring out if someone was available and interested. I have several unpleasant memories of asking people out in college that I’d been spending time with, only for them to be like “sorry my boyfriend [you’ve never met and I never mentioned] and I are exclusive”. (Which may have been a lie to let me down gently, I guess.)
Also when you have a deal breaker or two, having that up front is helpful.
I know rejection is scary, but its not reallyna reflection of you rather then a reflection of someones preference. You could be a greek god and still get rejected.
Keep trying, but in the meantime also focus on you. Do what you need to do to love yourself, and then the rest will follow
I appreciate the kind words! I’m personally doing well dating wise. With one exception it’s all been people met through apps though.
Last time I used Bumble, a few years ago, I think about a third of the profiles I looked at weren’t even filled out. Step 1 might be enforcing users to actually fill out a profile.
I got to a point where I just swiped left on anything that wasn’t filled out enough. If you can’t even be bothered to do that then I don’t think you’re going to be a good partner.
I have several unpleasant memories of asking people out in college that I’d been spending time with, only for them to be like
’I gave you four coins worth of attention. Sex now pls’…if I picked up on these vibes id suddenly have a bf too. A big one. A really really big one.
Spending time with people is how you get to know people better. It’s how you make friends. You can start feeling something to some of them and it’s ok to ask them out if that’s the case. There’s nothing in what jjjalljs wrote that says they were spending time with the people for the sole purpose of finding a date.
Well, yes, the “I was nice to you why aren’t you sexing with me?” trope is very bad.
The two I remember specifically were people I legitimately liked. One of them we spent like hours talking after class a couple times. But when I asked her out for dinner she replied she had to help her boyfriend study.
I can see her perspective of just having a friend to hang out with, and then being annoyed when the guy wants to make it more.
But I am legitimately confused how to square what you’re writing about with the advice of “ask people out you know in real life” some people give. That was the advice I was getting back then. Meet people. Be friends. Ask them out.
Now I use apps so I know the other person is in fact available to date, and does date men. Also I’m old and my relationships currently are fine.
The dating apps are just a symptom of the disease, to be completely honest. The hook-up culture isn’t going anywhere, because despite what people say, that’s what continues to happen. Anyone longing for a genuine connection are wasting their time on these apps, especially if you’re guy. People need to work on the impossible standards, on the constant approval-seeking/instant gratification, and set their priorities straight
I’ve found several long term relationships off tinder as a WLW. It seems to work pretty well for me. The system doesn’t seem to be working for guys, and that’s unfortunate. But a lot of the pressure on women to settle for any man has gone away as women have become more self reliant. The whole thing has become far more consensual and less mandatory for survival. That’s going to influence men’s dating success no matter what medium people use to find matches.
My personal experience with these has been even worse than the average, because my demi ass just doesn’t find most of the people on those apps interesting.
After half a year of some activity, I got maybe 2 likes, and 0 matches. Obviously I don’t even know who those people are, because the app doesn’t show me until I pay. Issue is, if I didn’t already swipe on those people, I don’t care who they are anymore.
Ironically, when I checked out the BFF section, I got several pings within a few days
I married a smoke show I met on Bumble.
I gotta be real: you’re all doing it wrong.
It’s a sea of people’s assumed personas. Being genuine actually makes you stand out.
Feel like you’re pressured to be or act a certain way in order to get matches? And then you’re sad that they’re of low quality? While you are actively misrepresenting yourselves? Wtf did you think was going to happen?
If you’re approaching it like you’re trying to get a high score, you aren’t going to be yourself, and you and the people you match with are going to be disappointed. Faithfully represent yourself and what you want. Accept you’ll get even less attention than you already are. Get much fewer but higher quality connections.
Every online dating forum’s advice is incredibly terrible, and people failing to realize that they don’t HAVE to treat the platforms as a Skinner Box are what I think the root causes of the decline of online dating.
Which, isn’t to say the industry doesn’t bear most of the responsibility. If people treating your platform as a Skinner box decimates the value of your platform, maybe you shouldn’t go to such great lengths to make your platform such a box.
I wish dating apps were more tailored towards longer term connections. It’s hard to meet people, but I don’t want to go on tinder to meet people either.
I sometimes think they might be intentionally steering people away from longer term connections because the core model of app development teams nowadays is constantly driving engagement. A long term connection means (hopefully) no more engagement.
That’s almost precisely their business model.
Get users, retain users, turn users into recurring paying customers.
Dating apps don’t exist to find you connections, they exist to keep you hooked. They’ll give you the bare minimum of opportunities necessary to make you think they’re viable, drag it out as long as possible, pressure you to pay for premium, and if they ever developed a matching system that worked well, they’d bury it to stop half their userbase from marrying each other and uninstalling the apps.
This is silly to me for dating apps cuz there are literally always new customers entering the market every single day. It’s not like ppl stopped turning into adults suddenly.
For what it’s worth that’s been my experience on Hinge.
Yeah wtf with this “it’s not you, it’s me.” It’s 100 fucking percent them.
I’ve been on and off dating sites for over a decade. I watched them all turn to complete shit because Tinder got successful with the swipe only b.s and Business Educated People said “oooo, money! Let’s just completely copy that and even remove useful features we once had to keep people stuck on the sites longer!” and they’ve completely failed at, or don’t care to, address the bot/scammer problem.
Fuck, POF turned into fucking TWITCH for christs sake… They have a streaming function now where people specifically state they are not looking for anything they’re just there to stream and take peoples money…
Here’s why your apps are failing. You don’t have proper ratios. When women are outnumbered 2 to 1 that means about 33% of the user base can’t use the app as intended. That’s why you are losing users
2 to 1? Lol! I bet it’s more like 7 to 1.
There’s nothing they can do about that…
Monitoring for scams and bots should be something they can at least try to deal with directly to add some value to the database. Not just rely on users to do it for free.
Ehh. That would matter if it was. 1:1 ratio of people meet and leave the platform but it’s not. One girl can and will date multiple guys from the platform and vice versa.
100% can use the app as intended. 33% just don’t have a 1:1 match to rely on…but if we’re being honest no meeting spot ever has a 1:1 chance even if there are same number of men and women present. That’s how life works.
I remember if people found out you were on a dating website, you were basically totally ostracized. Then people realized, well shit, if I’m going to be ostracized for looking for love online, I might as well do it on the free website (POF). Then dating apps came out and it became trendy and cool because you didn’t have to actually connect with anyone and you could be aloof and detached and have NSA sex with strangers. Now everyone hates dating apps again. Normalize talking to people about real things in public!
I’m not sure if this applies where you are but since covid it is HARD to talk to people irl. I’m chatty and will strike up conversations everywhere I go. Before covid most people engaged. Since they look at me like I’m grow>ng a second head. Dating apps have always worked well for me though. Damn well.
I remember people would lie about how they met because they didn’t want to say they met online. Oh how the times have been-a-changing
Depending on the context, my partner and I don’t like sharing that we met on an app either.
Were people really using dating apps in college that often? It’s pretty easy to meet people when in a hool when you’re around a bunch of 18 to 22 year olds all the time
Yes can confirm maybe 80% or more of single male friends were on dating apps. I found my wide on tinder.
I found my wife on tinder.
I hope you guys are doing okay now. Infidelity is a hard thing to get past.
They were definitely using Tinder when I was in college
Guess it depends on the timeline
When I was in college it hadnt really become a main stream thing - it had just about started by my junior or senior year
I honestly can’t imagine going through college with all the dating apps around though
Have they tried not making a shit app, then actually seems purposely designed to not achieve its stated goals? Just a thought.
How about not locking all the actual useful features behind a paywall. If people actually get dates they will be prepared to pay for more premium features but they actually have to get dates to begin with.
They already do that and it’s sucks, these apps are meant to make you wanna spend money. Shitty business practice
I said it in a different thread.
I think dating apps were an important tool for women to assert control of their dating lives, ten years ago. And I think for the new generation of young women, a total wall between their daily life and dating life, is less necessary.
My two cents.
Why is that wall needed? Can you expand on this more?
You don’t know what I am talking about?
There was a big trend, and it still exists to an extent today, that many woman do not want to be approached at the gym, etc.
I feel men have finally started adapting to how shitty their behavior was, meaning women are relying less on online dating as a way to stop the feeling of daily irl harassment.
So, how should people find mates? Obviously these stupid apps don’t work and the chance encounter system we use in western societies don’t, and neither do the marriage-as-transaction systems societies used centuries ago, or the subjugation of any one gender. So how should we ensure most people who want a mate get one?
First thing to do is to not use neckbeardy scientific language like ‘find a mate’. It makes me think of the way ferengi say ‘Female’. It comes off as very creepy and lecherous.
Go do things you enjoy doing. Find local groups or hobby/card/game shops with events. Get to know people. Become a known person. And be yourself. Pretending to be anything or anyone you aren’t will always backfire in a real relationship.
The big thing is to never go out with the goal of hooking up or finding someone. It adds an extra layer of weirdness if you do meet someone, and a massive extra disappointment every time you don’t. Just be friendly and casual. Things will fall into place.
I assumed they were Australian.
I’ve only ever met people online.
And it’s allowed me to be the depraved slut I am today.
Let the squares go do square things.
I’m not the one who needs help finding a partner. Everyone else does, and despite your emotional language you all have failed so hard at it it has harmed you as a people, so who is the one who needs to re-examine their language use exactly? Not me. I see animals cry and want to help them, and when I speak of animals, I use technical terms. And you all very much are animals.
Your society as a whole needs to have this talk with itself and that’s why I ask. Would a matchmaker program help you? Or will you get offended at being called an animal as if I am not one too and openly say as much, a lot?
I just wanted to comment that this advice will likely minimize your chances of finding someone.
I found things worked out best when I stopped trying to specifically meet someone for the purpose of dating and just started going out and doing stuff I enjoyed with the potential of meeting someone (i.e. not sitting at home playing video games). There was a neighborhood pub I went to when I just wanted to get out of the apt, I was a member of a hiking club that had a cabin, I did stuff solo, etc. Once I stopped trying so hard I actually met more people.
There's a lot to be said about it but anyone with a brain will agree to this, and simply this;
Good.
Don't qualify it. Don't turn it into yet another stale argument that will invariably link some grifter's asinine manifesto. Everyone from every side can agree that this is a good thing. Let it be enough.
how are you supposed to connect with anyone if you don’t have an app that makes no sense
How about a fediverse dating service? 😏
This is the best summary I could come up with:
A decline in interest from dating apps’ core demographic is wreaking havoc across the industry, as Bumble’s CEO and founder Whitney Wolfe Herd steps down a day before the company reports earnings, says the Wall Street Journal Monday.
Tinder’s stock plummeted 15% last week after reporting a decline in paying users.
Wolfe Herd, who also cofounded Tinder, started Bumble to create an app where women could have more control by initiating conversations with men to reduce the unwanted and creepy messages that plague dating apps.
She’s succeeded by Lidiane Jones, a former CEO of Slack, who’s looking for opportunities to use artificial intelligence in dating app algorithms.
The resurgence of organic relationships deals a major blow to Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, and other dating apps that have profited off the boom of hook-up culture.
Though the company says this is not the case, frustrations with dating apps have percolated through user bases and many are opting for meeting partners the old-fashioned way.
The original article contains 382 words, the summary contains 161 words. Saved 58%. I’m a bot and I’m open source!
Dating using internet communication works better without dating Apps.
Apps are difficult since it’s such a lean form of media. Hard to really connect over texts. It’s more fun to meet people through biking groups or camping adventures imo. When I stopped trying to actively seek out love via apps or in general, it also made it easier to date because there was zero stress and zero expectations.
Wait are people using dating apps for dating? I thought they were for promoting Instagram profiles exclusively
Geek_King@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Match Group deserves to collapse. Online dating has never been fun, but since Match Group bought up nearly every dating app, they’ve all become very homogeneous and outrageously more expensive.
Potatos_are_not_friends@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Seriously it’s all just carbon copies of each other.