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What can you tell from this photo alone?

⁨361⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨King@blackneon.net⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://i.redd.it/uix2jdmy0m5g1.jpeg

source

Comments

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  • Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Divorced man, mid-forties, job pays well but not great, tried to get into old interests to stave off depression but collecting action figures didn’t do it and he couldn’t remember how to play the ukulele, which is like the one thing that made him interesting in high school. So, he turned to those early college years when he and his friends, whom he hasn’t talked to in ages, would stay up all night smashing Jägermeister and having heady though naive conversations about the world and how things ought to be. Night after night he sat on his balcony, looking at a world that would be better if only it listened to him, ignoring his broken instrument, smashed in frustration, and occasionally espousing his philosophy 101 understanding of nihilism to his last remaining friend, the Batman, until one late night, after finishing a nice piss, the pain became too great and, in a drunken stupor, he slowly allowed himself to fall over the balcony into the sweet release of death. He left behind only unanswered emails and texts from his worried adult children. A pitiful end to a pitiful life so completely devoid of significance that the character doesn’t even warrant a name.

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    • Fmstrat@lemmy.world ⁨26⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      Also a Star Wars fan. The bottles on the right are the Millinium Falcon.

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    • yermaw@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Jesus Christ

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    • a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      New copy-pasta arrives.

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      • Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I would be honored.

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    • laranis@lemmy.zip ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      This is art, but for the lack of mention of the piss spot on the far right. My guess is that he gave up on all decorum or hope for the future and started pissing almost over the side of the balcony. Then as he leaned over to see his last attempt to create something meaningful splash on the pavement below he looked a bit too far. It was not a planned act of finality, yet in that moment of weightlessness his last, fleeting thought was, “Probably for the best…”

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      • Numuruzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Yes but neither of you mentioned the piss spot on the balcony above. This is not our nameless hero’s piss but the piss of his upstairs neighbor. He came out to his balcony and noticed a miraculous stream, sticking his head out too far to determine the source. His final thought was “What a beautiful day for rain”

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    • modus@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      You ok, bro?

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      • Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Yep. Thanks for checking.

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      • a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Lol, none of us are.

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    • AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I heard that in Kim Katsuragi’s voice

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      • Naz@sh.itjust.works ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        “You seem to be following me”

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    • raoul@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Username doesn’t match…

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      • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Let’s rename him Bard_with_Superior_Deductive_Reasoning_Skills

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    • Omgpwnies@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      That made me think of Jethro Tull - Aqualung

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      • Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        That was dope. Thank you for sharing that!

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    • Rekonok@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I knew this guy :/

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    • DylanMc6@lemmy.ml ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      if only someone stopped him from falling over…

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  • blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Image

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    • JonHammCock@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Image

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    • Kayday@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Batman with a kitbashed symbiote Spider-Man head

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  • RavuAlHemio@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Is that the Millennium Falcon?

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    • SlacksMcTavish@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Oh feck yeah I see it too…

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      • anomnom@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Cockpit is on the wrong side, but I’m not sure I’d be able to tell after a bottle of Jeager either.

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  • TriangleSpecialist@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    That I need to get my shit off my balcony and figure out who’s the asshole taking pictures of my apartment without my consent.

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    • not_me@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      We dont need your consent, its a free country and visible to anybody

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      • TriangleSpecialist@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Found’em

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  • Asweet@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    It’s very clear that we’re looking at the universe where Deadpool is a chair. Not many other people could drink that much hard liquor and survive, and the ukulele and Batman figurine track

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  • zeppo@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    It’s not too cold there

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    • watson@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Not with all that Jägermeister

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      • aeronmelon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        They probably sit out there in shorts.

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  • pilferjinx@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Sadness.

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  • Monument@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Tiny Batman is not taking the divorce well. At first he thought losing the tiny mansion and being forced to downsize from Twayne Manor (Tiny Wayne Manor) out in the burbs to this high-rise apartment would put him closer to the action downtown. A refreshing life change after all that’s happened.
    However, his neighbors yell at each other all day long while he’s trying to sleep, and seem to have even more sensitive hearing than him during the nighttime quiet periods. He can’t rush out the door because every slam or even loud footfalls seems to trigger a call to building management. He’s even gotten calls about his scanner radio being too loud, no matter how softly he plays it.
    Most nights he just sits on the balcony, quietly listening to the scanner and drinking. Anti-suicide netting makes it impossible to just glide down to street level with his bat wings and the elevator takes so long that by the time he gets to the Tiny Bat Mobile, most vics are dead and the perps are long gone. More and more, he just turns the radio off, drinks until he staggers over to his pee spot, and then stumbles over to fall asleep with his back against a stack of bottles - he knows they’ll keep him safe from the memories that are trying to sneak up on him.

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    • baggachipz@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Can’t even see the tiny bat signal from most angles, so he thinks nobody needs him

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  • CaptPretentious@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    • they like jagermeister above all else
    • Their apartment is likely messy, (they’re hoarding bottles instead of taking them to the recycling, implying not a hoarder but lack of motivation)
    • They play music
    • Their last play session didn’t go very good, as the guitar is broken.
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    • King@blackneon.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      That was so deep

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    • anomnom@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      They also had to pee too badly to make it inside.

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  • ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    They don’t have a local recycling programme.

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  • Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I like the lil batman puppet.

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    • glitch1985@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Who do you think drank all of that. Seems to be the only one on the deck from what I can see.

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  • ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    That I have yet to hit rock bottom. Bottoms up, peeps! slams back some Jägermeister

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  • TomMasz@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Liver failure.

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    • Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Liver success! I’m so proud.

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  • happydoors@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    HOW IS NOBODY MENTIONING THE PISS CORNER?!

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    • CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Don’t judge my piss corner.

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  • SeptugenarianSenate@leminal.space ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Drunken uke practice pad, skyrise balcony edition

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  • WereCat@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Somebody replaced Lutris with Bottles?

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  • Railcar8095@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Lots of alcohol+broken guitar = wonderwall

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    • hopesdead@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      You wouldn’t be saying that if you have seen the movie that was named after.

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      • Railcar8095@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        OK, I’ll add it to my backlog, but only because it predates the song do there’s no risk of hearing it again.

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  • dwemthy@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Neighbor hates them

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  • deacon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    What we are looking at here is the aftermath of a jaeger-based transportation ritual, successful by the looks of it.

    Whoever did this, is not with us anymore. He belongs to the Hunt Masters now.

    Also that figurine needs to stay exactly where it is or our traveler will not be able to return fully ensouled. This is old magic we’re looking at.

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  • rbos@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Batman figurine.

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  • wischi@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    That Deadpool is trapped inside that gamer chair?

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  • ekZepp@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Covid lock down.

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  • AnnaFrankfurter@lemmy.ml ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    That musicians get paid in some good alcohol

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  • AmericanEconomicThinkTank@lemmy.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    :(

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  • fum@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Batman shrinks when he drinks

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    • ooterness@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Maybe it’s like Toy Story. Batman figure just found out he’s a toy, drank a bunch of Jäger, and then reverted to the dormant state because someone was looking.

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  • Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    That there is only a mattress a tv and a game console inside.

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  • Fedizen@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Died of alcoholism

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    • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      But there’s no corpse in that photo. We’re only allowed to draw conclusions based on what we see in the photo, not on things we DON’T see 🤔

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      • Fedizen@lemmy.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        If he was alive he’d be in the photo drinking

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  • halvar@lemy.lol ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    That chair wasn’t originally part of the setup but was created by the summoning circle of Jägers on the floor.

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  • jlow@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I’m very sorry for the neighbours.

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  • HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Are those bottles of jaeger in a circle?

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    • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Nah bro, that’s like a 40-hedron

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      • HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Lol.

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    • Madison420@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Yes.

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      • HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Damn didn’t know they made 3 liter bottles of jager.

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