Who got raptured today?

Comments

• SuDmit@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Apparently this person vger.to/piefed.world/post/496315

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• FreddiesLantern@leminal.space ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Leviticus commands us to stone the false prophets.

  These assholes are just out for free weed.

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  • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    All the false prophets are currently unavailable for comment because they’ve been high AF the last couple days.

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• Zoomboingding@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Maybe next time

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• BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I hope it’s a lot of them. Religious psychos are a scourge on humanity. The fewer the better.

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• bigbabybilly@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Skipped over again. Thank god.

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• ICastFist@programming.dev ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I’m at work, so I probably got sent to hell

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• Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Just leave me behind.

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• mathemachristian@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I don’t think I w

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• A_Chilean_Cyborg@feddit.cl ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I had to get out of bed to go to work, does that count?

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• Simulation6@sopuli.xyz ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  The rapture happened and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

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• Tollana1234567@lemmy.today ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  evangelicals obsession with the raptures, when they havnt done any good in society.

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  • niktemadur@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Then every time the rapture doesn’t happen, it’s like these people have an integrated Memory Reset Button, so they don’t have to PUSH and modify their beliefs and superstitions, I mean… god forbid, that would require… (shudder)… making an effort.

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  • UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    They said sorry to their imaginary friend for all the bad things they always do. One heaven please! 🙏

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• PolydoreSmith@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Lemme tell ya, I have never been more raptured!

  Props on the username, OP

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• Nikls94@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I got rap[tur]ed again

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• chuckleslord@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Image

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• Blackmist@feddit.uk ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Me.

  …

  I got better.

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• ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  ✋

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• SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Who up rapturing their it?

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• interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Turns out a lot of them were in Gaza, they left behind more than their clothes however

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• Asidonhopo@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I feel like I had a near-miss

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• FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  It would be good if all the hypocrites who preach about how christlike they are woukd go away

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  • MNByChoice@midwest.social ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    They all are disqualified for praying in public. Shouldn’t have done that.

    Also, presuming to tell God what is what, and vanity.

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• WanderWisley@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Not me I’ve been sinning since the 90’s.

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• cowfodder@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Technically not supposed to happen until the horns sound in Jerusalem, which will happen at sundown. I think we have a little bit longer before we can really mock these morons.

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• ininewcrow@lemmy.ca ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  My favourite theory of the rapture

  It already happened … no one noticed because no one was taken up.

  Image

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  • MNByChoice@midwest.social ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    With a hard cap of 144,000 in Heaven, the rapture happened already.

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  • FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Or so few people were taken up that it just amounted to a few missing person’s cases

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    • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      It’s all the missing prostitutes from around the world, which is either heartwarming or horrifying depending on your level of trust in theoretical God.

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  • Ryktes@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Isn’t the rapture supposed to be like… the first step of the apocalypse? Cause I’m lookin around at the state of things right now and uh…

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    • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      No plagues, no zombies, no demons.

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    • MeatPilot@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Yup, the skull fucking imps will be a part of the first wave of demons. Should get used to wearing helmets now to protect your skull.

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• Stern@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I chose not to and made a few bucks for petwatching

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• gon@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Yes! I did get swiftly kicked out.

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• ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I remember being sucked up a beam of light and two aliens angels welcomed me. Then I woke up in my bed with no memory. Was I raptured?

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  • IndridCold@lemmy.ca ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    How does your anus feel?

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    • ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      A little tender however I had spicy food last night.

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    • ininewcrow@lemmy.ca ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      They felt the power of the Lord inside them

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• frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Can we circle back and reschedule the rapture for next week? Carrie is on vacation and we need her input.

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• Corporal_Punishment@feddit.uk ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Shit, I missed it. I guess I’m stuck here now

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