HR people smiling at you thinking that you are a complete moron

Comments

• Codpiece@feddit.uk ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Sorry, too busy. Why can’t my manager fill you in on my current projects?

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  • grrgyle@slrpnk.net ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Haha I tried that one, because I was legitimately too swamped and management got very upset.

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    • TheBat@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      And then?

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• Magister@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  In my previous company, at about 9PM, about half the company got an invite for a 9AM meeting, and the other half for a 10AM meeting, we saw all the name in our invite of course. Let’s say the evening was hard, to guess which group was staying and which group was fired! I was in the “stay” group, this repeated every quarter and after 3 or 4 quarters it was my turn to be in the fire group, the next quarter they closed the company and fired the remaining employees.

  The HR lady was like the picture.

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  • TheBat@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    She looked like Anne Hathaway?😯

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• AHamSandwich@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Gather round and attend my layoff time tale of woe.

  I worked for this company for four years. They fell on hard times and, in place of layoffs, required employees to temporarily give up a portion of their salary on the condition it would be repaid within 2 years with interest, plus increased bonuses proportional with how much you sacrificed. I voluntarily gave up 20% as the company had never had a layoff in its history (no layoffs was part of their alleged culture) and all the old timers gushed about their massive bonuses after downturns like these.

  I was given my quarterly review in October and I get a perfect score. I work three weeks, then am badly hurt on the job. It requires fairly major surgery, so I’m out for almost two months.

  I literally limp back, probably a little too early. The first day is fine and I’m getting back up to speed. Boss shows appreciation to my dedication as I reasonably could have taken more time to recuperate. I tell her I need to discuss accommodations as I’m still healing. She agrees and sets an appointment for the next morning. Great job HamSandwich, everyone loves you.

  I arrive to the accommodation meeting to find the head of HR and my boss. I figure HR is there to help with accomodations. Nope, I’m being terminated. For performance. Huh. I ask about my stellar review. My boss tells me there were issues. I ask about the issues. She is unable to give me any examples. I ask how I was supposed to know I had performance issues when I had a perfect review three work weeks ago and no one can tell me what I’ve been doing wrong. HR boss bitch pipes in with “Ham, at your seniority level you should just know.” Fuck you, boss bitch. Fuck you.

  As I’m packing up my things, I realize they cut me one day before my yearly stock shares were to be awarded. Security walks me out and tells me I’m one of many senior level employees being terminated. People are being fired for showing up five minutes late. Upper level admins are walking out in protest. It appears this was the strategy: bank on the company’s good reputation to encourage increased voluntary salary cuts, then dump as many high earners as possible if still in a downturn. My boss is a spineless twerp and went along with it. She lies and tells the rest of the department I was terminated for sleeping on the job. Fuck you, boss. Fuck you.

  The company had its first round of layoffs a few months later. Those employees also lost the money they gave up. The company’s reputation is irreparably harmed and I’m currently suing them for lost wages.

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  • bitjunkie@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    If a corporation asks you to take one for the team, don’t. “The team” will never take one for you.

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  • daggermoon@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I’m very sorry to hear that. I hope you win your lawsuit. Fuck those goddamn bastards.

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  • turmoil@feddit.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Name and shame! That sounds like a horrid experience.

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    • trolololol@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Ah yes, shaming shameless corp always works

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• Passerby6497@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Brb, backing up my script folder and deleting anything I haven’t already shared with the team

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• Mickey7@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  In outside sales so everyone is working remote. I get an email around 7PM that we are going to have a meeting tomorrow (on line of course) at 3PM. I had heard that a big layoff was coming. But why a call at 3PM instead of first thing in the morning if I was going to get laid off. Later that evening I get calls from friends about the 10AM meeting. I told them I never got a message about it, but I did about a 3PM meeting.

  What they did was all the people they were laying off were on the 10AM meeting. It was half the total sales force. at the 3PM meeting for the survivors, they explained to us what was going on.

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  • Big_Boss_77@lemmynsfw.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    This just happened a month or so ago at my place of employment… except there were no invites. No meetings. It went more like

    9am: Hey, where did my chat with so and so go? Friggin teams…

    11am: Now the other one is missing? Wtf?

    1pm: Outside TM: Hey… dumb question, but do you have as many people on your team as you did yesterday?

    Email Invite for 1:30PM has entered the chat

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• xav@programming.dev ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  This sent a bad chill along my spine. PTSD.

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• grrgyle@slrpnk.net ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  That smile. That damned smile.

  I think this is their mask.

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  • Mickey7@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Do they get special training on how to lie with a straight face?

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    • grrgyle@slrpnk.net ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I know a couple hr people personally, and they speak in a kind of coded manner at work. Some of them will legitimately try to help you out, but of course the nature of their profession means they can never be a true ally. Not for long, anyway.

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    • SinAdjetivos@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It’s a prerequisite to get the job in the first place.

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• JoMiran@lemmy.ml ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Where the fuck do y’all work that your HR “rep” looks like Anne Hathaway? Every company I worked for had a lady that looked like she retired after thirty years of proctoring detentions at a public highschool.

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  • zaphod@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I literally worked for a company where one of the two people in HR paid for her studies with modelling, the kind where you mostly keep your clothes on. Also I’m pretty sure my boss only hired her because he wanted to fuck her.

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  • lobut@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    “Why do you keep winding up speaking to HR?” 👀

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  • GladiusB@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Everyone in HR at my current company is hot. It almost seems like a prerequisite.

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    • ICastFist@programming.dev ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It probably reduces the chance of male workers telling them to fuck off. Or the higher ups hire those so they can sexually harass them

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    • TheBat@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Did you get lucky with any of them? 😏

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  • mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    young company with a low budget for HR

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  • kadaverin0@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Without fail, every single job I’ve had with an HR department its always been run by a butch lesbian whose dating someone in one of the bullpens or accounting. It’s one of those strange coincidences that stop being surprised by after the 3rd time.

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• rozodru@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I remember years and years ago when I still a regular employee I got into work one morning to find I no longer had access to any git repos. nothing. Well already knew the reason right then and there. I usually got in before everyone else so by the time people were coming into the office I was packing my stuff up to leave. People were all “where are you going?” I said “well I either got fired or laid off so I’m leaving, I’m not sitting through a bullshit meeting telling me why I was laid off”

  wiped the laptop, wiped my externals, walked out, went and sat in a coffee shop to revise my resume. I got a call like an hour later asking me where I was and why I didn’t attend the meeting I was apparently schedule for. I replied with “you laid me off” few minutes later they email me back saying they’ll just send my ROE and last paycheque in the mail and then proceeded to explain why I and a few other devs were laid off. I didn’t bother reading the rest of it.

  Then I decided to become a freelancer and never looked back. best decision I made.

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  • Mickey7@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Great story on how you handled it. And totally agree with you on the IT guy. What a douche that he just couldn’t give you a heads up.

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    • rozodru@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      the insulting thing out of it is I paid for his beers! he KNEW I was getting laid off and didn’t say “hey…maybe I should be paying for these” nope, gladly accepted my money. He tried to contact me after the fact and I just blocked him.

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  • Jankatarch@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    To give benefit of the doubt maybe IT guy was told HR already let you know? Still sucks overall good choice in freelancing.

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    • rozodru@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      no. I was talking about projects I was working on with him. he knew, he let me talk about them and said nothing.

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    • whats_all_this_then@programming.dev ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      If IT guy thought they new, why not bring it up, offer consolation, maybe buy a few rounds…you know, human with empathy stuff?

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• Lembot_0004@discuss.online ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I look at this smile and think “There is no HR in Ba Sing Se”

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• Ileftreddit@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  HR lady once spit a whole ass pack of lies about my work performance, and had cut off my email access so I couldn’t prove her wrong, which would have been trivially easy. Realized before I spoke up that if the HR director is lying this bad, there’s no reason to even try to “prove” I’m right, just a really toxic company.

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• ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I got an invite for a meeting the next morning. I was like “they wouldn’t be that stupid, right?”. Well, they were. I had time to prepare something funny but I was disarmed by their stupidity.

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• burgerchurgarr@lemmus.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Lmao for me my computer just randomly restarted and asked for a security pin while I was busy working on something. I learned through our WhatsApp group that we got laid off lol.

  Call with HR was when I already knew and nothing like this, I tried to get them to let me keep my $7k MacBook, no chance, literally everything was non negotiable so the call was absolutely pointless.

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  • shalafi@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You should have kept the Mac, seriously. I often had no response trying to get laptops back from employees and was asking HR if we couldn’t get a form for new hires to sign regarding company equipment returns. Can’t remember the reasoning but HR told me the company is basically powerless to force the issue. In any case, the legal costs of suing you would quickly stack higher than $7K.

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    • yetAnotherUser@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Can’t they just file a police report suggesting you stole it? It’s the government’s job then and since the police barely have to investigate anything they are sure to actually do something. That’s a quick way to get a search warrant filed.

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    • burgerchurgarr@lemmus.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yeah but they would hold back the severance pay until they received the laptop, they have done this before lol

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  • modus@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Never bought a Mac before, but what the hell are the specs in a $7k Macbook? I didn’t think they went over $3k.

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    • Tja@programming.dev ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      The big ones start at 3k.

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    • bitjunkie@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I’ve never priced one that high, but I’d suspect 16" screen and multi-TB nvme are the main culprits.

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    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Probably equivalent to about a $2k PC.

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  • Mio@feddit.nu ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    It would be nice to get some time in advance as notice. Like Trump get 4 years as he can’t be fired for some unknown reason even though he has and is still doing illegal things(tarifs without kongress approval etc.)…

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    • burgerchurgarr@lemmus.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Apparently being a child fucker isn’t a reason to get fired either

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  • IndustryStandard@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Solder another SSD in that bad boy

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• sexybenfranklin@ttrpg.network ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I got laid off about five and a half years ago, at the start of Covid. The meeting was with my manager and his boss (who I was also friendly with). I got a meeting invite and asked if we could push it back an hour so I could drive my wife to work, they said sure. I told my wife on the drive that I was getting laid off. Sure enough, I was. They paid me five weeks severance and gave me resources to file for unemployment. It was due to Covid causing a huge drop in money coming in, which was understandable. Honestly, I didn’t like my job, I had already hired a company to rewrite my resumé. So it worked out. At least my boss and his boss had the spine to do it personally. I’ll always give them credit for that.

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  • VitoRobles@lemmy.today ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Man, I was on that manager side, having to lay people off because of some bad decisions from upper management.

    I usually do everything I can, like give them recommendations letters, try to give them as much money as possible that they’re owed… Literally bend over backwards.

    Everyone takes that news differently. One guy cursed me out, kicked some shit and stormed out. And I just got up and cleaned it all up because brother, I get it.

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  • chiliedogg@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    When I’ve had to let people go, I’ve always believed it important to do it personally. It’s difficult, but it’s part of the duty of a boss to face the person they’re letting go.

    I’ve been accused of being cold when doing it, but that’s because I don’t feel like I have the right to show the emotional impact on me when it’s someone else’s life being wrecked.

    I’ve also violated company policy several times and given glowing reviews of former staff instead of simply confirming they worked at the company.

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  • chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Interestingly for me, the bosses I got along with always got fired first. Both companies I got laid off from had several rounds of layoffs, and in both cases my boss was round 4, and I was round 5 several months later.

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• lemmyknow@lemmy.today ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I had a meeting with plenty of important people tagged in, yet somehow I didn’t think much, if anything, of it. Like it’s just a meeting. Which it was. A meeting to inform me I was to be let go of the company. The possibility of that only occurred to me, I think, when prompted to think about it, on another meeting I had right before that one. That’s right, two meetings back to back. Yet I was clueless…

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• Mio@feddit.nu ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Just deline the invite and you are safe ;)

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  • lightnsfw@reddthat.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Had a 3rd shift guy I was trying to fire get 3 extra shifts out of us by just not showing up to the meeting and not answering his phone. HR wouldn’t let me just shut his account off until the 3rd one. That dude was a real POS for other reasons but I can’t knock him for taking advantage of bureaucratic nonsense.

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• veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Ready to be laid off, i can feel it coming considering the economy feels like its on stilts and my company scrapping the bottom of the barrel for projects to work on.

  I don’t own anything and don’t have anybody.

  Prepared for my NEET life.

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  • kiagam@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    If you don’t have anybody, it will be hard to be a neet. They are usually maintained by someone else (mostly parents)

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  • diffaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Hope you will find a new job soon, It really sucks to find a job in these times 😞

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  • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Hmm, do we work at the same place? I can set you up with my old camping gear…

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• ddplf@szmer.info ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I don’t get it, why does she need these projects for?

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  • PotatoesFall@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    When you get fired they need to re-assign your work to others so they want to know what you’re working on.

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  • BakedCatboy@lemmy.ml ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    To onboard your replacement after you get fired at 4pm.

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    • WanderingThoughts@europe.pub ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      The two or three juniors they’ll eventually have to hire to do the job

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  • ikidd@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    To do the needful.

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  • NecroParagon@midwest.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I’m guessing this is about perceived performance issues, potential or realized. But I’m not sure at all. I’ve never dealt with something like this. Only a few places I’ve worked have even had a proper HR department.

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  • july@leminal.space ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    ^

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• PlasmaTrout@lemmy.wtf ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Well at least its suspect enough to prepare :). I once came in at 9am and we had random people funneling everyone into a conference room with HR people to tell us our department would no longer be needed.

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  • kameecoding@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    This is why Europe is awesome, if they do that here they owe you like 3-6 months of salary.

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    • Taleya@aussie.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Not just Europe, Aussie here. I got the ol’ covid chuck and between lack of notice, untaken leave and long service leave (had been there over 8 years) it cost them $58,000

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    • Luccus@feddit.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Damn Europoors hating their (HR departments’) freedoms.

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    • 0x0@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      3-6 months of salary.

      …per year worked, depending on the country, but it’s more close to 2-3 months.

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• lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  That’s why I decline meetings without an agenda. No agenda = lack of preparation = waste of time = not a meeting.

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• Gerudo@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  It has to be a Friday too.

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• Mickey7@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  The only good thing about getting laid off is 1) you can at least collect unemployment 2) It’s easier to get another job because you weren’t simply fired

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• Jumpingspiderman@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  MegaBux Inc. bought our small ag-biotech firm in 2018. I had developed a high throughput product screening system for natural products against a bunch of animal diseases. The program worked and we identified a bunch of candidates (I also developed the list of things to screen) for botanical/natural solutions to animal diseases. I should have guessed that I was on the chopping block when after finding out some of the things we screened actually worked, I got replaced as PI on the project by someone else much younger. A couple months into 2020 all the folks at the R&D center (including me) got laid off. They did pay severance to us- and mine took me out to October of that year due to my longevity with the firm that was purchased. A couple months after that, a bunch of the junior staff (who were well trained in my methods) got hired back. I was almost 69 at the time, so it was probably time to retire anyway. I was very lucky. This is so familiar! At least I made my stack and can live comfortably on my SS and pensions.

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• occultist8128@infosec.pub ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Accurate

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• 0x0@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Being sarcastic got me fired. Twice.

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• MNByChoice@midwest.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  It is always tempting to try to justify one’s position and get out of being laid-off/fired.

  The decision has been made by those that “know your position”, or your manager is being let go next.

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• MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Oh. I heard this bluff from Pat Geisinger himself, in person.

  I was employed by VMware many moons ago when Pat took the helm. He decided to start by cutting an entire department from my location, sight unseen.

  We then changed all the furniture because they had two floors of the building and wanted to cut back since they just lost half a floor of people.

  We go home, work from home for a while, then return. Then Pat comes by for a site visit.

  He stood there with the gall to say that the team that was cut was a different business unit, and that was a business decision regarding that business unit (it was the front line team, which was then relocated to “low cost centers”)… Blah blah blah… This is a different department, a different business unit, blah blah, what happened to them is isolated, and doesn’t mean anything regarding your employment… Blah blah …

  I didn’t buy it for a second. But I was too stressed out to do anything at the time.

  The layoffs started less than six months later. I was part of the first round.

  Fuck you Pat.

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• gmtom@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  She looks like a whitewashed Victoria Newman from the boys.

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• whotookkarl@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  stooge /stoo͞j/

  noun

  1. The partner in a comedy team who feeds lines to the other comedian; a straight man. –> 2. One who allows oneself to be used for another’s profit or advantage; a puppet.
  2. A stool pigeon.

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• interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Finally no longer having to work
  It’s really been the absolute worst thing in life after “being a kid” and “going to school”

  I know the setup is that if you don’t job hard enough
  then something even worse is coming up
  living in the streets, which is illegal
  then living in the man made hell
  called prison, which is just another kind of school

  But this time, by seeing it coming,
  turns out there’s a way to opt out of the bad bits !

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