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‘If I switch it off, my girlfriend might think I’m cheating’: inside the rise of couples location sharing

⁨652⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨return2ozma@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨technology@lemmy.world⁩

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/jul/24/inside-the-rise-of-couple-location-sharing

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Comments

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  • besselj@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Safety concerns aside, you should trust your partner enough to not need to track them

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    • timewarp@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      If a partner demand they have it on to prove they’re not cheating, then they should be looking for a different partner.

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      • HaveMeOnYourPodcast@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        The partner demanding that is projecting like a Barco DP2K-32B.

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      • Ebber@lemmings.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I’ve already solved that by not finding a partner 😎👎

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    • Psythik@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Exactly. My girlfriend will disappear for an entire day and not come home until 10pm. I usually have no idea where she is or what she’s doing (mainly because I forget due to having ADHD), but I don’t worry about it because I know she’ll never cheat. How can a person even be with someone who they don’t trust? Without trust, there is no relationship IMO.

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      • hornedfiend@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        that doesn’t always work out the way you’re expecting though, but I agree, trust should be opt-out.

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      • greybeard@feddit.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        There is the case of the worriers. People who, when not given positive confirmation otherwise, assume the worst. I'm not talking cheating, but like accidents. "He's 5 minutes late, maybe he got in a car accident and died!" It's not healthy, but it is common and isn't a trust issue.

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    • 0x0@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Relationships based on trust?!
      Surely you jest!

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    • happydoors@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      For me, knowing my spouse’s location is just convenient for knowing ETA without bothering her. It’s not really about trust at all

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      • HalifaxJones@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Same. We both follow each other and neither of us care. We mostly have it enabled for the “just in case” scenario that anything happens to one of us. We can make sure that we know of our last known location.

        I’ve also had her use it one time I was away from home in NYC. And I was too drunk to figure out which subway to take to get back to my hotel. So she walked me through step by step while on the phone with me. It fucking rocked.

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      • moistclump@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Exactly my thought. It’s nothing to do with jealousy and just kind of convenient if you need to meet up or are seeing if they’re on their way home and can get dinner started or whatever.

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      • Zachariah@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I figure if my phone manufacturer and cell providers are tracking me all day, why not also my closest friends and family.

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    • Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      There should also be enough trust for either side to never use it except for emergencies.

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  • MunkysUnkEnz0@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    If you can’t trust your spouse without location, tracking, find another spouse.

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    • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      No they need therapy not another spouse. They shouldn’t have a spouse at all until they’ve fixed their own insecurities.

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  • detren@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    My girlfriend and I share our locations mainly for convenience and safety. It’s nice to know that she’s 3 tram stops away from home so I can start cooking dinner for example. She’s also terrible at responding to texts and calls though lol

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    • Evotech@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yeah I know many who just use it as a practical tool in the day to day.

      Even know friend groups who use it between themselves (they all live close together)

      SnapMap is also very popular, obv less accurate but nice to see who is in town

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    • slaacaa@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Same with my wife. I even have it set up for my mother, so I know she’s safe. I don’t understand what the big deal is, as you say it’s a safety and convenience feature, it doesn’t mean you spend the day looking at the app to see where the other person is.

      It’s not something I would do in a casual or new relationship, but if I’m with somebody for years, I value safety over privacy.

      And for the people who think this would prevent or bust cheating: lol. They can just turn it off and complain of bad reception, or leave their phone in their car, while they “shop at the mall”. Or just get a second phone.

      Regarding tech privacy: it’s not like other apps on your phone are not already tracking, I doubt anybody has their GPS constantly turned off. They already know your location, this one feature doesn’t make a difference.

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      • Count042@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        For one, it wrecks your battery life.

        Secondly, everyone I know my age keeps GPS off unless using a mapping program.

        Finally regarding app privacy, people do care about that which is why grapheneos and other privacy focused OS’s exist.

        The fact that you don’t care about privacy and want the government and corporations to have every sext you’ve ever received or sent doesn’t mean that others don’t care as well.

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    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      She could text you, no? It seems like getting her to be better at that is better than opening the can of worms involved with location sharing. For example, here’s some bad stuff that could happen:

      • phone sells that data to advertisers
      • gov’t gets that info and you trigger an alarm (maybe you went hiking a little too close to a sensitive area)
      • data breach happens and now crooks know when you’re not home
      • SO’s creepy friend sees your location and is secretly stalking you

      Etc. Those probably aren’t super likely, but being able to avoid it all entirely with a little better communication sounds a lot better.

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      • Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Yes, clearly the solution is to make her change her behavior. Needing your SO to change themselves is definitely a sign of a healthy relationship.

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  • LillyPip@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Of all the dystopian things, this is probably the most dystopian thing I’ve read lately.

    This is horrible.

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    • Blisterexe@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      People my age have their whole friend groups on location sharing apps like that, it’s awful.

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      • Senseless@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Wtf? Is this the outcome of growing up with helicopter parents or were are those trust issues coming from?

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      • MunkysUnkEnz0@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Witch your age group. Do you mind giving examples where it’s been helpful and maybe examples when it’s not been so helpful?

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      • Empricorn@feddit.nl ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Why, though?

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      • twikz@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Some friends of mine have literally hundreds of friends with their Snapchat location sharing on

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    • PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Most people my age that I know have location tracking shared with SO’s. It’s considered a step in the relationship.

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      • RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Grim

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      • Cethin@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        It’s be a step out of the relationship with me.

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  • Grizzlyboy@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Isn’t it strange that “trusting” someone now, means letting them constantly spy on you?

    I talked to some late teens about it some months ago. They see it as an “I give you permission to see my every move” kind of thing, as in they have nothing to hide. And they do it pretty early on in relationships, as a show of commitment.

    I got my SO to turn off location tracking on Snapchat because I got a message from a family member about his location. She had screenshotted his location from the snap map, searched the address, found the person living there, searched him up, found out he’s also gay, and wondered if I knew he was out with another man?! FYI we attended a dinner party at the guys home.

    That’s the level of insane some people get. Constant surveillance, mixed with insecurities and stories of cheating, and you’ve got a shitty ass cocktail.

    Me having location shared with my partner of 20 years is one thing. But sharing it with anyone else? Fuck no.

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    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I wouldn’t even share my location with my SO of 10+ years. Why? They don’t need it, and there’s tons of potential negative things with that (phone manufacturer sells it, gov’t takes it w/ backdoor deals, breach reveals it, etc).

      I don’t want my SO’s location information, and they shouldn’t want mine. If I’m doing some high risk activity, like doing a long hike alone, sure, but it’s going off immediately after.

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  • PattyMcB@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    If you sacrifice freedom for security, then you deserve neither.

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    • socialsecurity@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Patriot act, Snowden, Cambridge Analytica

      we already done sacrificed freedom. This is the FO stage

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  • grue@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The main reason my wife and I don’t have location sharing set up isn’t because of trust or lack thereof between each other, but because I don’t trust proprietary/commercial location-sharing services.

    I’ve been meaning to set up a self-hosted system (mainly because it seems like Home Assistant could do some neat automations with that info), but haven’t gotten around to it yet.

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    • Manalith@midwest.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      One of my gf’s friends went through a pretty nasty breakup, moved and whatnot and most of her friend group were trying to make sure that the ex and his friends didn’t have their location anymore and I’m just sitting here like “its wild that you have to go through that” well a couple weeks later 3 of her tires were stabbed with a screw driver or something, and while there’s no concrete evidence that they learned where she moved, I’m still over here trying to get them all to be more conscious about online privacy and location sharing, but nothing works…

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    • Munkisquisher@lemmy.nz ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yeah we use it with home assistant, and Bluetooth beacons to turn on the garden lights when we get home, and turn on interior lights if neither of us are marked as home. Also turn on the electric blanket if we are out and heading towards home after 9pm. Also the person detection camera only alerts us if we aren’t home.

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      • deafboy@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Also turn on the electric blanket if we are out and heading towards home after 9pm

        Make sure it defaults to OFF after power loss. My colleague had a close call when the smart plug with the infra panel plugged in decided to turn on after the power outage.

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      • CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Would you mind sharing your automation yaml for the garden lights? I’d love to do more with Bluetooth beacons but don’t know enough about how they work to do anything with them.

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    • Kr4u7@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      When you get back to that project: I used this project here. Mainly for myself tho.

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    • cole@lemdro.id ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You don’t need anything other than home assistant though, right? the companion apps already just do that

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      • grue@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Well, I need a reverse proxy or VPN or something so that the phones can connect to my Home Assistant server from outside the LAN. That’s the main thing I haven’t gotten done yet.

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    • Count042@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Hauk

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  • chronicledmonocle@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    My wife and I have had our location shared with each other for years, but it’s not a “Are they cheating?” thing. I have been married for 14 years and never wonder if my wife is cheating on me. It’s just incredibly useful for seeing how far away one of us is from home to do things like plan dinner prep times, know where to look for a lost phone, etc. If you can’t trust your SO, there is something wrong that you need to address and micro-managing where they are is toxic.

    Call me old fashioned, but I put it in the same bucket as a prenup: If you’re always prepping your heart and mind for a split, you’ll always have one foot out the door. Not everyone will agree with me, but that’s how I feel and it’s why I don’t have one. Find yourself someone who is ride or die, if you are looking for a lifetime partner. Don’t settle for someone you can’t trust with your life.

    That said, not everyone is looking for monogamy for the rest of their life, either, and that’s OK, too.

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    • WhyJiffie@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Call me old fashioned, but I put it in the same bucket as a prenup

      I don’t agree. Prenups are passive, they don’t do anything until not needed. all the while this is a major breach of privacy, for both parties, and also of trust.

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      • lucidinferno@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Legally and practically, prenups are anything but passive. They’re proactive tools. They’re usually dormant, but they’re ready to be called into action.

        Marriage is different things to different people. Some have every intention to make it work, no matter what. To them, a prenup is an anti-“burn the ship”. It’s a statement.

        Also, tools like “find my” are not major breaches of privacy if both parties jointly agree to use them. For me and my family, it’s the ultimate expression of trust. I’m never somewhere I shouldn’t be, and I like my family knowing where I am, for a multitude of reasons.

        There are two types of people who a tracker wouldn’t be effective for: those who are in an inappropriate location, and those who are constantly questioning why someone is in an innocent place, regardless of where it may be. However, at that point, the issue isn’t the trackers; it’s the people.

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      • LilB0kChoy@midwest.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        the while this is a major breach of privacy, for both parties, and also of trust.

        How? My situation is similar to the person you’re replying to and I’m curious how two consenting adults sharing their location with each other is “ la major breach of privacy, for both parties, and also of trust”.

        Maybe if one party is unwilling or has no say/control in location sharing but specifically in the scenario at hand I don’t see it.

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      • erin@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        My wife and I share our location. We both trust each other implicitly and neither of us consider it a breach of privacy, but rather a willing sharing of information. I think if this is demanded of someone unilaterally, it would be both a breach of privacy and trust, but it's just so damn convenient for our lives and makes us both feel safer. If I'm out late in the city to see a friend, my wife can easily see that I'm safe making it to my car and driving home. If my wife is working late and forgets to text, I can easily check and know she's still in the building. As two gay women, it was a no-brainer for us. I would never demand that of someone. It seems like a lot of people in the comments see sharing location as an intrinsically harmful or negative action, whereas it's far more context and consent dependent for me. Hell, I even share my location with a friend for a few hours if I'm doing something sketchy.

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    • expr@programming.dev ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      This is like, the opposite of old-fashioned. Calling your wife when you’re on the way home is old-fashioned.

      This article is the first time I’m actually hearing about this idea because it never even occurred to me as something people would actually want to do. I frankly don’t see the point of this nonsense. I would much rather talk to my wife on the phone and communicate with her about plans. It’s much more human and normal, and facilitates good communication habits. It takes 2 minutes to give my wife a call and, you know what, I get to talk to my wife! We don’t need technology invading absolutely every aspect of our lives. We don’t need to be constantly plugged in and attached to our phones at the hip.

      It also has other downsides, like making it hard to surprise your partner, constant battery drain from the constant location chatter, etc. In fact, it seems like all downside with no actual benefit (setting aside the trust stuff, because it’s pretty irrelevant either way).

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      • chronicledmonocle@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I get where you’re coming from, but I loathe talking on the phone. I love talking to my wife, but we do that when sitting down for coffee and breakfast in the morning.

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      • Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        We don’t need technology invading absolutely every aspect of our lives.

        Calling each other is technology. It’s simply a technology you’ve normalized

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    • trk@aussie.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      My wife and I have had our location shared with each other for years, but it’s not a “Are they cheating?” thing. I have been married for 14 years and never wonder if my wife is cheating on me. It’s just incredibly useful for seeing how far away one of us is from home to do things like plan dinner prep times, know where to look for a lost phone, etc. If you can’t trust your SO, there is something wrong that you need to address and micro-managing where they are is toxic.

      My wife and I are the same. Shared location means rather than a message saying “are you on your way home?” you can just check where they’re at. If I’m out on a late night callout she can see where I am instead of worrying or constantly pinging for updates. Meeting somewhere? Live updates keeps everyone in sync, and let’s you know if you’ve got time to do something on the way or if they’re already waiting or whatever.

      People must be in some super unhappy relationships if they see location sharing as nefarious.

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  • the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    If your partner cant trust you not to cheat then work on your relasionship or end it. Dont do this shit.

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    • innermachine@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      My wife always has my location. I regularly go out for hours on my motorcycle and I’ll tell her I’m going for a hour ride and get lost in the woods for 3. Years ago I had to call her to pick me up after a truck decided to go left in front of me and shattered my arm into 4 pieces. Caller her from the hospital bed high as fuck on morphine. She has my location so if I stop responding for hours she can make sure I didn’t wind up in a medical center LOL.

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      • the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        That is entirely different than suspecting you of cheating every moment she doesn’t have eyes on you.

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      • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Sure, then maybe enable it before those rides and disable afterward, and send her a text when you’d like her to keep an eye on it.

        Keeping it on all the time has tons of potential privacy-related problems since phones a aren’t perfect.

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    • uhmbah@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      This. If your partner is jealous, you’re not the problem. If they can’t work through it with you, walk.

      People with trust issues are exhausting. Make sure they’re worth it without losing yourself.

      Signed, Experienced

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      • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        My SO gets super jealous/anxious, probably because of all the horror stories in the news. Having access to my location would only make that worse, because then every time I drop a coworker off at home or something and forget to tell my SO, they’ll get super suspicious.

        I’d much rather work off trust than need to explain every little deviation from my normal schedule just to avoid some anxiety.

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  • MellowYellow13@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    If you have to use these things in a relationship, then you already have a problem.

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    • Mangoholic@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      This is the correct take.

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  • shortwavesurfer@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    If this was demanded of me, I would end the relationship immediately. That’s absolutely not worth it.

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    • SlartyBartFast@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      And what if you broke your leg and were lying in a ditch while chipmunks were eating your spleen, eh? How would anyone ever find you huh? Bet the egg is really on your face now!

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      • shortwavesurfer@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Well then that’s just too bad for me, isn’t it?

        Obviously I have my phone on me so I could just dial 911. If your phone breaks when whatever occurs to you, then your spouse or whatever isn’t going to be able to track your location and you’re not going to be able to call 911 either. So either way you’re fucked.

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      • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        i’d get those chipmunks some cheese.

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    • brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yep. This is one of those hard lines for me. And I feel like it’s a red flag for anyone who demands it from a partner.

      I trust my partner and they trust me. I actively encourage them to do things without me, because I want them to be an independent person. I want them to have friends that I don’t hang out with.

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      • panicnow@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I comment in a different part of this thread how my spouse and just share everything, but I complete get what you are saying.

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  • Fenrisulfir@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I can’t believe the number of people in here with paranoia and shitty relationships that can’t communicate with their “partner”

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    • tarknassus@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      My wife only asked me to ‘follow’ her with location sharing because there was a creepy dude in the area who was approaching women. Otherwise we trust each other enough and actually communicate about the things we do. Plus we don’t cheat on each other - there’s enough stress in life without adding to it lol.

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      • yeahiknow3@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Fun fact, location sharing is literally a form of communication. Super convenient.

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    • Usernume@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      RIGHT??? Jesus Christ people… Get somr therapy

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  • jjjalljs@ttrpg.network ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I don’t want to share my location nor have anyone else’s shared with me.

    Friends and partners can text “I’ll be there in 5”

    My friend shares her location with her mother. Her mother then nags her with like “Are you seeing someone new? You’re spending a lot of time in north brooklyn now.” Like, who needs that, or even the temptation of that?

    A tech solution is not going to fix a social/mental problem like fear of cheating.

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    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Hell, my wife generally knows where I’m going when I go out but only because I want to tell her and usually invite her. I’d hate for her to be able to ask why I’m at a restaurant instead of the bar I said I was going to, even if I’ll tell her about it when I get home

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      • Evil_Incarnate@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        My partner and I share locations. We check sometimes how far away from home they are when walking the dog, or coming from work. Also handy when one of us “loses” their phone and the other can see it’s at home/in the car/at work. But we have trust, and don’t need to check where the other is spending time.

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  • pyre@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    if you believe the only reason your partner isn’t cheating is that you’d find out via location share; what the fuck is the point?

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    • piecat@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      There’s always gps spoofing via debug mode too

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  • Auth@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    “safety is certainly a big part of the appeal for many users – so I allow the app to alert him each time I reach my front door.” I’m finding that people are irrationally paranoid these days. They see random acts of violence in the news and think it might happen to them but its so statistically unlikely given these are already unlikely events and these people usually middle class people living in nice areas.

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  • naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Vile.

    I trust my wife, and she trusts me. We trust each other not to ask for stupid brain-poisoning shit that humans weren’t meant to have access to that could one day blow up horribly.

    I don’t have her passwords, she doesn’t have mine. Our phones are locked. I could technically see what she’s doing online I suppose via traffic snooping in the router logs but the day I feel the urge to do something like that is the day I kill myself for having abandoned basic moral principles.

    We’re apes, we have brains built for avoiding snakes in tall grass and finding water and berries. You poison yourself with surveillance, you feed your worst and most destructive impulses. Practice keeping secrets, practice being okay with not knowing. Trust isn’t surveillance, trust is knowing that if something fucking mattered you’d be told.

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  • ikidd@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Jesus fuck, what did people do with their spouses and kids before phones? Trust them?

    Sounds unlikely.

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  • FishFace@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    If you just see this and, like 20 others, blindly say “you should trust your partner” then you haven’t thought about it at all. If you trust your partner completely, then you trust them to use your location information responsibly, right? So trust does not have any bearing on whether to use it or not.

    The issue for me is that we should try to avoid normalising behaviour which enables coercive control in relationships, even if it is practical. That means that even if you trust your partner not to spy on your every move and use the information against you, you shouldn’t enable it because it makes it harder for everyone who can’t trust their partner to that extent to justify not using it.

    On a more practical level, controlling behaviour doesn’t always manifest straight away. What’s safe now may not be safe in two years, and if it does start ramping up later, it may be much, much harder to back out of agreements made today which end up impacting your safety.

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  • sugarfoot00@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    After 30 years of marriage, my wife floated the idea of turning this on. I looked at her like she had two heads.

    Why would anyone be willfully surveilled? You know its not just your partner that has access to that data when you have location services enabled.

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  • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    This is a huge no from me. My SO doesn’t need my location, and sharing it has a lot of potential downsides, like:

    • phone manufacturer selling it to advertisers
    • gov’t getting it and I accidentally trust trigger some alarm
    • data getting exposed in a breach
    • apps without location access getting it through some means

    There’s a lot of potential downside and the upside is… my SO knows when I’m almost home?

    Yeah, no. Maybe I’ll share if I’m doing something risky like hiking alone, but that’s never staying on constantly.

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  • Dreaming_Novaling@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Starting this by saying: Using tracking apps to see what someone’s doing 24/7 or worrying about them cheating is insane and is a solid NO, full stop.

    But I do understand why people use tracking apps, and I wish we had good FOSS alternatives. A tracking/location sharing app where the trackee can turn it on/off anytime they want (after using a password/biometrics, to prevent others from messing with it), so loved ones can be sure you made it to your destination.

    I don’t want people stalking their kids, judging their friends for the places they go, surveiling if someone’s a cheater, or worst of all, having their data be sold by the shitty companies that run these services.

    I’ve read stories that have scared me and made me wish I could do something like that when I’m out late. I had to (unfortunately) use Live360 during a field trip in another country cause the teachers needed to keep track of us. I understand safety-wise that these apps are vital

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  • RecursiveParadox@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Man I took my kids off location sharing when they got their first phones at 12. Shit is creepy.

    Just communicate!

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  • Fondots@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    My wife and I work different schedules. on the rare day off that were both home, she’s often out of the house when I wake up. She’s not great at replying to texts. I never know when she’s going to be home, and usually have no clue what she’s out doing or where.

    But I know who she’s doing while she’s gone- no one. Because I trust my wife. I know who she is as a person, I know what our relationship is like.

    I have no particular desire to know her location at all times. I’m sure if I asked, she’d share it with me, and I’d do the same for her. I might occasionally do that when I’m off hiking or something in case there’s an emergency, but half the time I wouldn’t have a signal anyway.

    We are two humans with our own lives. Those lives are very intertwined, but we’re both allowed to go off and have our own adventures, occasionally some secrets, and we don’t need to know where each other is 24/7

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  • moseschrute@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Me and my partner share locations. Never once have we done this. It’s purely a logistical thing. 10x faster to check someone’s location when you’re supposed to meet them instead of testing them “wya”.

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  • EnsignWashout@startrek.website ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    My partner and I used to use location sharing pretty much 100% of the time. We just felt better knowing we could find each other.

    But today, we do not, because the trust is shattered.

    Google just cannot be trusted with our locations.

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  • rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Immature crap like this makes me very grateful to be a grownup married to a grownup.

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  • Demdaru@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    So we have two camps.

    1. It’s a tool to be used and it’s a good thing to exists and I have it enabled forever

    2. Keep a gun pointed at it at all occasions and even if you use it, do so with heavy restrictions

    I trust my partner and my partner trusts me but the idea of stalking her via app is mindboggling and, honestly, disgusting to me. Like a dog on a leash, always observed, always controlled. That\s some pathologic shit going on. Trust your partner dammit. Ya all have issues.

    On the other hand though being violently agaisnt it cuz “oh my god privacy” is also funny. The recipent is your partner. Setting it up for some specific use case shouldn’t be a bother. It can be extremely usefull for example for grabbing shit in a mall - if you are not interested in going to the same shop, enable it, split, get what you need, join back, disable it.

    What I am getting at is - it’s a tool, but an invasive and overly controlling one. Use it how you wish but do not perceive having it on constantly as normal. It literally sounds disgusting.

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  • FuckFascism@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    That’s creepy af

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  • TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Routinely seen this cause drama between people with poor communication.

    Nosy friend with it? Get ready for I’m coming by or what are you doing there texts.

    know some people who use it to pick up drunk friends just in case. For emergencies. Do they use it like her? Noooooooopeeeee

    Most people lack the maturity for this. It skeeves me the fuck out.

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  • PixelatedSaturn@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I don’t know, it’s a pointless thing that I just forgot to turn off at some point. I couldn’t care less if she knows where I am and sometimes I do what her to know, like when I go hiking alone.

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