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‘If I switch it off, my girlfriend might think I’m cheating’: inside the rise of couples location sharing

⁨544⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨return2ozma@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨technology@lemmy.world⁩

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/jul/24/inside-the-rise-of-couple-location-sharing

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Comments

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  • pyre@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    if you believe the only reason your partner isn’t cheating is that you’d find out via location share; what the fuck is the point?

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  • Demdaru@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    So we have two camps.

    1. It’s a tool to be used and it’s a good thing to exists and I have it enabled forever

    2. Keep a gun pointed at it at all occasions and even if you use it, do so with heavy restrictions

    I trust my partner and my partner trusts me but the idea of stalking her via app is mindboggling and, honestly, disgusting to me. Like a dog on a leash, always observed, always controlled. That\s some pathologic shit going on. Trust your partner dammit. Ya all have issues.

    On the other hand though being violently agaisnt it cuz “oh my god privacy” is also funny. The recipent is your partner. Setting it up for some specific use case shouldn’t be a bother. It can be extremely usefull for example for grabbing shit in a mall - if you are not interested in going to the same shop, enable it, split, get what you need, join back, disable it.

    What I am getting at is - it’s a tool, but an invasive and overly controlling one. Use it how you wish but do not perceive having it on constantly as normal. It literally sounds disgusting.

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    • stevedice@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      My wife and I have our location shared with each other 24/7. Furthermore, my sister also has mine and my wife has her sister’s. It has nothing to do with trust and everything to do with safety. Perhaps the real lack of trust is not assuming your partner will use your location to control you.

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    • IsoKiero@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      The recipent is your partner.

      And provider of whatever service you use to share your location. Being a bit paranoid about your privacy in this day and age is not just fearmongering and tinfoil-hats.

      It can be extremely usefull for example for grabbing shit in a mall

      Or communicate in advance that it’ll take 30 minutes for you to find your shit and then meet up at a cafe, by car, at lobby or whatever. Live location doesn’t add anything to that, assuming it even works reliably enough inside buildings.

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  • MellowYellow13@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    If you have to use these things in a relationship, then you already have a problem.

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    • Mangoholic@lemmy.ml ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      This is the correct take.

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  • sturmblast@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Sounds like trust issues

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  • besselj@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Safety concerns aside, you should trust your partner enough to not need to track them

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    • timewarp@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      If a partner demand they have it on to prove they’re not cheating, then they should be looking for a different partner.

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      • HaveMeOnYourPodcast@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        The partner demanding that is projecting like a Barco DP2K-32B.

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    • Psythik@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Exactly. My girlfriend will disappear for an entire day and not come home until 10pm. I usually have no idea where she is or what she’s doing (mainly because I forget due to having ADHD), but I don’t worry about it because I know she’ll never cheat. How can a person even be with someone who they don’t trust? Without trust, there is no relationship IMO.

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      • hornedfiend@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        that doesn’t always work out the way you’re expecting though, but I agree, trust should be opt-out.

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      • greybeard@feddit.online ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        There is the case of the worriers. People who, when not given positive confirmation otherwise, assume the worst. I'm not talking cheating, but like accidents. "He's 5 minutes late, maybe he got in a car accident and died!" It's not healthy, but it is common and isn't a trust issue.

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    • happydoors@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      For me, knowing my spouse’s location is just convenient for knowing ETA without bothering her. It’s not really about trust at all

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      • HalifaxJones@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Same. We both follow each other and neither of us care. We mostly have it enabled for the “just in case” scenario that anything happens to one of us. We can make sure that we know of our last known location.

        I’ve also had her use it one time I was away from home in NYC. And I was too drunk to figure out which subway to take to get back to my hotel. So she walked me through step by step while on the phone with me. It fucking rocked.

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      • moistclump@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Exactly my thought. It’s nothing to do with jealousy and just kind of convenient if you need to meet up or are seeing if they’re on their way home and can get dinner started or whatever.

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    • 0x0@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Relationships based on trust?!
      Surely you jest!

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    • Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      There should also be enough trust for either side to never use it except for emergencies.

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  • EnsignWashout@startrek.website ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    My partner and I used to use location sharing pretty much 100% of the time. We just felt better knowing we could find each other.

    But today, we do not, because the trust is shattered.

    Google just cannot be trusted with our locations.

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    • Routhinator@startrek.website ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Home Assistant

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      • Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        (And hoping the location sharing doesnt leak to other applications).

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      • suodrazah@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Seconded.

        And having each other’s location is really helpful. I’m nervous if my partner doesn’t know where I am.

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    • markko@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      There are options that don’t use Google et al.

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      • bystander@lemmy.ca ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        So you have suggestions?

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    • Liberal_Ghost@lemmy.zip ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      You are still sharing it with google if you have an android phone lol

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    • Joeffect@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      they still have it… if your using an android phone at least… and your cell provider…

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      • Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Same for any other phone manufacturer. I won’t trust Apple any more than I do with Google.

        The only ones I’d actually trust to keep it somewhat private and probably LineageOS and GrapheneOS (no experience with gOS)

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  • smiletolerantly@awful.systems ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    When we need to know each others location, we share it via element / matrix. Our own server, so no third party.

    Happens maybe four times a year.

    (Also, do you just always have location services enabled?? IMO it’s a battery drain, I pretty much only enable it for this and while I need to navigate)

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    • Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Nobody to answer to (and share my location).
      Despite being somewhat aware of the privacy concerns of having location services always enabled, the potential of having access to finding my phone based on the service to find it (Apples and Googles feature) is more important (to me).
      Same reason I have cellular always enabled.

      Main reason I keep location services enabled is for geo-tagged photos.
      At first I always kept it disabled because of privacy trust issues (e.g. sharing a picture might not always strip the geotags) but since going on a vacation in sri lanka and being able to trace back a picture to a location it became a very useful feature.

      Example from my vacation in Sri Lanka:
      Image

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  • Fenrisulfir@lemmy.ca ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I can’t believe the number of people in here with paranoia and shitty relationships that can’t communicate with their “partner”

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    • tarknassus@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      My wife only asked me to ‘follow’ her with location sharing because there was a creepy dude in the area who was approaching women. Otherwise we trust each other enough and actually communicate about the things we do. Plus we don’t cheat on each other - there’s enough stress in life without adding to it lol.

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      • yeahiknow3@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Fun fact, location sharing is literally a form of communication. Super convenient.

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    • Usernume@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      RIGHT??? Jesus Christ people… Get somr therapy

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  • kepix@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    today the guardian almost wrote something about a real concern that totally happened with sane people

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  • jjjalljs@ttrpg.network ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I don’t want to share my location nor have anyone else’s shared with me.

    Friends and partners can text “I’ll be there in 5”

    My friend shares her location with her mother. Her mother then nags her with like “Are you seeing someone new? You’re spending a lot of time in north brooklyn now.” Like, who needs that, or even the temptation of that?

    A tech solution is not going to fix a social/mental problem like fear of cheating.

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    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Hell, my wife generally knows where I’m going when I go out but only because I want to tell her and usually invite her. I’d hate for her to be able to ask why I’m at a restaurant instead of the bar I said I was going to, even if I’ll tell her about it when I get home

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      • Evil_Incarnate@sopuli.xyz ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        My partner and I share locations. We check sometimes how far away from home they are when walking the dog, or coming from work. Also handy when one of us “loses” their phone and the other can see it’s at home/in the car/at work. But we have trust, and don’t need to check where the other is spending time.

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  • MunkysUnkEnz0@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    If you can’t trust your spouse without location, tracking, find another spouse.

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    • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      No they need therapy not another spouse. They shouldn’t have a spouse at all until they’ve fixed their own insecurities.

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  • detren@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    My girlfriend and I share our locations mainly for convenience and safety. It’s nice to know that she’s 3 tram stops away from home so I can start cooking dinner for example. She’s also terrible at responding to texts and calls though lol

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    • Evotech@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Yeah I know many who just use it as a practical tool in the day to day.

      Even know friend groups who use it between themselves (they all live close together)

      SnapMap is also very popular, obv less accurate but nice to see who is in town

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    • slaacaa@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Same with my wife. I even have it set up for my mother, so I know she’s safe. I don’t understand what the big deal is, as you say it’s a safety and convenience feature, it doesn’t mean you spend the day looking at the app to see where the other person is.

      It’s not something I would do in a casual or new relationship, but if I’m with somebody for years, I value safety over privacy.

      And for the people who think this would prevent or bust cheating: lol. They can just turn it off and complain of bad reception, or leave their phone in their car, while they “shop at the mall”. Or just get a second phone.

      Regarding tech privacy: it’s not like other apps on your phone are not already tracking, I doubt anybody has their GPS constantly turned off. They already know your location, this one feature doesn’t make a difference.

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      • Count042@lemmy.ml ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        For one, it wrecks your battery life.

        Secondly, everyone I know my age keeps GPS off unless using a mapping program.

        Finally regarding app privacy, people do care about that which is why grapheneos and other privacy focused OS’s exist.

        The fact that you don’t care about privacy and want the government and corporations to have every sext you’ve ever received or sent doesn’t mean that others don’t care as well.

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    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      She could text you, no? It seems like getting her to be better at that is better than opening the can of worms involved with location sharing. For example, here’s some bad stuff that could happen:

      • phone sells that data to advertisers
      • gov’t gets that info and you trigger an alarm (maybe you went hiking a little too close to a sensitive area)
      • data breach happens and now crooks know when you’re not home
      • SO’s creepy friend sees your location and is secretly stalking you

      Etc. Those probably aren’t super likely, but being able to avoid it all entirely with a little better communication sounds a lot better.

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      • Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Yes, clearly the solution is to make her change her behavior. Needing your SO to change themselves is definitely a sign of a healthy relationship.

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  • moseschrute@lemmy.ml ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Me and my partner share locations. Never once have we done this. It’s purely a logistical thing. 10x faster to check someone’s location when you’re supposed to meet them instead of testing them “wya”.

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    • beastlykings@sh.itjust.works ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Same. For this to be a problem, you must first have other problems.

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      • ChexMax@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        How old are you guys, if you don’t mind me asking? It seems that generally younger people don’t see this as an innate violation of privacy, where older people feel quite surveilled and even like they’re being viewed as untrustworthy for someone to ask this of them.

        I’ve never cheated on my spouse (not even close), I’ve never felt any inclination to lie about my whereabouts. I can see the safety aspect of this, logically. I would feel offended if my spouse asked me to be a dot on his phone, as if he was asking to own me. We share a home, a child, a bank account, a car, but we don’t share location. I don’t even keep my location activated for my own use unless I’m actively navigating somewhere new.

        We’ve got plenty of “normal” problems, but none of them lead me to want his location. I simply trust him enough. It feels to me like if you need your partners location on tap, you must first have other problems

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      • turtlesareneat@discuss.online ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        One of the ways I knew my marriage was over, he disabled location services and left them off for months and then years. I followed when I started fucking other people.

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    • limelight79@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Yeah, exactly. So great to be able to say, oh, she’s about 15 minutes away, so I’ll start making dinner. Much easier and safer than texting while driving, too.

      We originally set it up so she could make sure I wasn’t laying in a ditch somewhere from a cycling crash.

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    • Harrk@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Same. I don’t even recall setting it up until I stumbled on it one day and could track my wife. I pulled a few pranks until I revealed my hand but we’ve never turned it off. There’s nothing malicious about it and we’re both happy to keep it on.

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  • naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Vile.

    I trust my wife, and she trusts me. We trust each other not to ask for stupid brain-poisoning shit that humans weren’t meant to have access to that could one day blow up horribly.

    I don’t have her passwords, she doesn’t have mine. Our phones are locked. I could technically see what she’s doing online I suppose via traffic snooping in the router logs but the day I feel the urge to do something like that is the day I kill myself for having abandoned basic moral principles.

    We’re apes, we have brains built for avoiding snakes in tall grass and finding water and berries. You poison yourself with surveillance, you feed your worst and most destructive impulses. Practice keeping secrets, practice being okay with not knowing. Trust isn’t surveillance, trust is knowing that if something fucking mattered you’d be told.

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    • douglasg14b@lemmy.world ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      It’s only vile when you project insecurities or bad intent…

      We both know each other’s passwords for everything. We use a shared database for it. We both know each other’s phone, unlock codes and often through laziness will just use each other’s phones for shit. We shared the same bank accounts, we don’t have separate money. We shared the same vehicles…etc

      We also both have each other’s location. What do we use this for? Essentially nothing except when one of us is traveling, or someone is feeling neurotic/worried. The peace of mind knowing that your significant other didn’t just die in a car crash part way to their destination and are still making progress is significant.

      We don’t hide things from each other. We are completely transparent, and you know what this has helped build? Trust. Know what it has torn down? Insecurities.

      Would recommend.

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      • bluesheep@sh.itjust.works ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        The peace of mind knowing that your significant other didn’t just die in a car crash part way to their destination and are still making progress is significant.

        Bless you but the moment I start being afraid of my partner dying everytime they leave the house will be the moment I’m getting back in touch with my psychologist.

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      • naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Therapy would be better for you than a panopticon.

        What if your partner wants to run away from you? Do you not trust that they would have a good reason?

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      • YerLam@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        You were so untrusting you had to go to those lengths to make it so there is no way to lie to each other and you say that’s a good thing?

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      • panicnow@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I’m in the same place as you with my spouse, but we didn’t start with not trusting each other. I just never worry about my spouse knowing things about me—I cannot imagine what I wouldn’t tell her anyway.

        My spouse has (multiple) physical journals lying around the house. I would never read them—she doesn’t worry about hiding them.

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      • psivchaz@reddthat.com ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I’m exactly the same. I get that it’s not for everyone. I understand that, and respect it. But I hate people framing this as you having a trust issue.

        It’s the opposite of a trust issue. I trust my wife to be responsible with my bank accounts. I trust my wife to see my location because I also trust my wife to only bother checking if she has a reasonable reason to do so, and to not be a weird paranoid freak if I’m somewhere she doesn’t expect. I trust my wife with the password to all my online accounts because it’s easier to just share a Bitwarden than it is to segregate everything, and I completely trust her to not invade my privacy.

        The thing is, our lives are online. If I get hit by a bus or something, I don’t want her to have to deal with my death while ALSO figuring out how to convince banks and insurance companies and whatnot to let her in. Much easier to just share my Bitwarden with her.

        I’m not in some panopticon, worrying “Oh no, what will my wife think about me being within 500 yards of an ex’s house” or whatever because I totally trust her to trust me. It’s just not an issue.

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    • HoopyFrood@lemmy.zip ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I don’t have her passwords, she doesn’t have mine.

      Having the means for each spouse to get the others passwords can be pretty essential when dealing with critical emergencies and death. It’s good to have some way for someone you trust to get your online accounts when you pass away so that everything can be concluded and canceled and sentimental content preservation and all that.

      For my relationship the means to gain access to my password manager are available in the case of an emergency. Maybe shove the credentials in a bank security box and put access to it into your will if you don’t feel you can trust your partner with the knowledge while you are alive.

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      • naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Obviously we have wills lmao

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    • yeahiknow3@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Uhhh, I trust her which is precisely why she has my passwords. Are you guys teenagers or something?

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      • MellowYellow13@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Why would you want to give third parties access to your locations?

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      • naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Yes we’re teenagers. We’ve been married 15 years, ceremony was when we were three.

        Privacy is important, have you never kept a diary? Do you film therapy sessions lest your partner not know what you discussed? Shit with the door open? You don’t need justification for wanting privacy, you need privacy so when you have a good reason for it nothing looks different.

        What if there’s an emergency?

        What if there is? Get help, that’s an insane fear to live with. If I am unconscious there’s nothing to do anyway, the hospital or whatever will find her details in my purse and call. What the fuck am I going to do, sit there watching the dot on the map and calling 000 if it stops moving? You are a lunatic, we have society to take care of us while we’re out and about and emergency beacons if you’re like camping beyond the black stump or sailing the Pacific.

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  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    If my partner could check my location at any time, how would I keep bday and anniversary gifts secret? The places where I go to buy things for her are not places I would normally go. She only has to randomly check one time when I’m at an unusual location for her to ask why and then I have to lie. Not worth it.

    We use temporary sharing (can limit to one hour) when meeting somewhere. Beyond that, it’s a potential liability.

    Example: she once got upset that I wanted to go to the mail room (apt building) alone and didn’t want her to go with me. She wanted to know what I was hiding. Turned out to be her bday gift and it was just in the commercial packaging with a shipping label. I let her go get it and she’s never been suspicious of my motives since (this was at the very start of our relationship and we hadn’t established the level of trust that we have now).

    Anyway, again, the one-hour sharing is all we need.

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  • FuckFascism@lemmy.world ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    That’s creepy af

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  • shortwavesurfer@lemmy.zip ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    If this was demanded of me, I would end the relationship immediately. That’s absolutely not worth it.

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    • SlartyBartFast@sh.itjust.works ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      And what if you broke your leg and were lying in a ditch while chipmunks were eating your spleen, eh? How would anyone ever find you huh? Bet the egg is really on your face now!

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      • shortwavesurfer@lemmy.zip ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Well then that’s just too bad for me, isn’t it?

        Obviously I have my phone on me so I could just dial 911. If your phone breaks when whatever occurs to you, then your spouse or whatever isn’t going to be able to track your location and you’re not going to be able to call 911 either. So either way you’re fucked.

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      • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        i’d get those chipmunks some cheese.

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    • brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Yep. This is one of those hard lines for me. And I feel like it’s a red flag for anyone who demands it from a partner.

      I trust my partner and they trust me. I actively encourage them to do things without me, because I want them to be an independent person. I want them to have friends that I don’t hang out with.

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      • panicnow@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I comment in a different part of this thread how my spouse and just share everything, but I complete get what you are saying.

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  • Grizzlyboy@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Isn’t it strange that “trusting” someone now, means letting them constantly spy on you?

    I talked to some late teens about it some months ago. They see it as an “I give you permission to see my every move” kind of thing, as in they have nothing to hide. And they do it pretty early on in relationships, as a show of commitment.

    I got my SO to turn off location tracking on Snapchat because I got a message from a family member about his location. She had screenshotted his location from the snap map, searched the address, found the person living there, searched him up, found out he’s also gay, and wondered if I knew he was out with another man?! FYI we attended a dinner party at the guys home.

    That’s the level of insane some people get. Constant surveillance, mixed with insecurities and stories of cheating, and you’ve got a shitty ass cocktail.

    Me having location shared with my partner of 20 years is one thing. But sharing it with anyone else? Fuck no.

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    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I wouldn’t even share my location with my SO of 10+ years. Why? They don’t need it, and there’s tons of potential negative things with that (phone manufacturer sells it, gov’t takes it w/ backdoor deals, breach reveals it, etc).

      I don’t want my SO’s location information, and they shouldn’t want mine. If I’m doing some high risk activity, like doing a long hike alone, sure, but it’s going off immediately after.

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  • LillyPip@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Of all the dystopian things, this is probably the most dystopian thing I’ve read lately.

    This is horrible.

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    • Blisterexe@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      People my age have their whole friend groups on location sharing apps like that, it’s awful.

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      • Senseless@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Wtf? Is this the outcome of growing up with helicopter parents or were are those trust issues coming from?

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      • MunkysUnkEnz0@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Witch your age group. Do you mind giving examples where it’s been helpful and maybe examples when it’s not been so helpful?

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      • Empricorn@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Why, though?

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    • PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Most people my age that I know have location tracking shared with SO’s. It’s considered a step in the relationship.

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      • RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Grim

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      • Cethin@lemmy.zip ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        It’s be a step out of the relationship with me.

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  • ikidd@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Jesus fuck, what did people do with their spouses and kids before phones? Trust them?

    Sounds unlikely.

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  • sugarfoot00@lemmy.ca ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    After 30 years of marriage, my wife floated the idea of turning this on. I looked at her like she had two heads.

    Why would anyone be willfully surveilled? You know its not just your partner that has access to that data when you have location services enabled.

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  • the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    If your partner cant trust you not to cheat then work on your relasionship or end it. Dont do this shit.

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  • TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Routinely seen this cause drama between people with poor communication.

    Nosy friend with it? Get ready for I’m coming by or what are you doing there texts.

    know some people who use it to pick up drunk friends just in case. For emergencies. Do they use it like her? Noooooooopeeeee

    Most people lack the maturity for this. It skeeves me the fuck out.

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  • Dreaming_Novaling@lemmy.zip ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Starting this by saying: Using tracking apps to see what someone’s doing 24/7 or worrying about them cheating is insane and is a solid NO, full stop.

    But I do understand why people use tracking apps, and I wish we had good FOSS alternatives. A tracking/location sharing app where the trackee can turn it on/off anytime they want (after using a password/biometrics, to prevent others from messing with it), so loved ones can be sure you made it to your destination.

    I don’t want people stalking their kids, judging their friends for the places they go, surveiling if someone’s a cheater, or worst of all, having their data be sold by the shitty companies that run these services.

    I’ve read stories that have scared me and made me wish I could do something like that when I’m out late. I had to (unfortunately) use Live360 during a field trip in another country cause the teachers needed to keep track of us. I understand safety-wise that these apps are vital

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  • chronicledmonocle@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    My wife and I have had our location shared with each other for years, but it’s not a “Are they cheating?” thing. I have been married for 14 years and never wonder if my wife is cheating on me. It’s just incredibly useful for seeing how far away one of us is from home to do things like plan dinner prep times, know where to look for a lost phone, etc. If you can’t trust your SO, there is something wrong that you need to address and micro-managing where they are is toxic.

    Call me old fashioned, but I put it in the same bucket as a prenup: If you’re always prepping your heart and mind for a split, you’ll always have one foot out the door. Not everyone will agree with me, but that’s how I feel and it’s why I don’t have one. Find yourself someone who is ride or die, if you are looking for a lifetime partner. Don’t settle for someone you can’t trust with your life.

    That said, not everyone is looking for monogamy for the rest of their life, either, and that’s OK, too.

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  • diptchip@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    You’ll never be able to stop someone that wants to cheat. Best you can do is be funner and sexier than anyone your partner might be around. Never understood why that’s so hard for some people.

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  • FishFace@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    If you just see this and, like 20 others, blindly say “you should trust your partner” then you haven’t thought about it at all. If you trust your partner completely, then you trust them to use your location information responsibly, right? So trust does not have any bearing on whether to use it or not.

    The issue for me is that we should try to avoid normalising behaviour which enables coercive control in relationships, even if it is practical. That means that even if you trust your partner not to spy on your every move and use the information against you, you shouldn’t enable it because it makes it harder for everyone who can’t trust their partner to that extent to justify not using it.

    On a more practical level, controlling behaviour doesn’t always manifest straight away. What’s safe now may not be safe in two years, and if it does start ramping up later, it may be much, much harder to back out of agreements made today which end up impacting your safety.

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  • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    This is a huge no from me. My SO doesn’t need my location, and sharing it has a lot of potential downsides, like:

    • phone manufacturer selling it to advertisers
    • gov’t getting it and I accidentally trust trigger some alarm
    • data getting exposed in a breach
    • apps without location access getting it through some means

    There’s a lot of potential downside and the upside is… my SO knows when I’m almost home?

    Yeah, no. Maybe I’ll share if I’m doing something risky like hiking alone, but that’s never staying on constantly.

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  • grue@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    The main reason my wife and I don’t have location sharing set up isn’t because of trust or lack thereof between each other, but because I don’t trust proprietary/commercial location-sharing services.

    I’ve been meaning to set up a self-hosted system (mainly because it seems like Home Assistant could do some neat automations with that info), but haven’t gotten around to it yet.

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  • ConstantPain@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    People don’t have the emotional maturity to deal with this tool.

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