did he have a volleyball with him.
We really don't want to talk about our problems
Submitted 8 months ago by Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to [deleted]
https://slrpnk.net/pictrs/image/568c71d2-a901-4843-8e13-f1e63f724af6.jpeg
Comments
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 8 months ago
TheFrirish@jlai.lu 8 months ago
Yes I would I hate therapy
noodlesreborn@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I hate how I understand this.
MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
29 days “lost” at sea, is therapy for all of the external bullshit we deal with every fucking day.
By “we” I mean people in society, not just men. Everyone struggles with making their way in “this world” we built for ourselves. We made it to be this horrible.
Mamdani_Da_Savior@lemmy.world 8 months ago
When I was deployed it was nice, I didn’t have bullshit to worry about. I did my job, I ate, I took shits, and I slept.
doug@lemmy.today 8 months ago
I watch some trash reality TV and always find it kind of funny how contestants spend a long amount of time internalizing the stress of the situation the show they agreed to be on is putting on them.
Half of Love Island is “Why did you kiss them?” “Why did you go on a date with that person?” “Why did you break up with me?” Guys it’s a SHOW. The SHOW is making you go through these completely unnatural circumstances!
And then I think about real life and it’s like “why don’t I have energy? why am I so depressed? why can’t I be more productive?” …guys it’s CAPITALISM/SOCIETY. SOCIETY is making you go through these completely unnatural circumstances!
MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
None of us did.
I didn’t get a say in whether or not to be born. I’m just here now and I have to deal with all of this shit.
ikidd@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I read this as more “not having to experience the daily news for a month and being horrified”.
Matriks404@lemmy.world 8 months ago
If I had everything to survive, a way to go back and couple of books - sign me up.
Bieren@lemmy.world 8 months ago
29 days without having to work all day long, deal with chores and family and whatever. And then sleep a couple of hours to do it again. This has nothing to deal with this person going to therapy.
Snowies@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
The environment we created for ourselves takes advantage of our evolution and uses our biology against us.
Food is drowned in sugar to get us addicted. Social media is designed to keep us angry and upset. Entertainment is a recycled polished turd, designed to take no risks and challenge nothing and leave us with shallow amusement.
We are losing our empathy for the other and our curiosity for the unknown.
We have made a world of numbing poison for ourselves. A 29 day separation sounds like the most powerful “therapy” we could have tbh.
Zink@programming.dev 8 months ago
Damn, that is well said. This sentence in particular:
We are losing our respect for the profound, our empathy for the other, and our curiosity for the unknown.
is the kind of thing that sounds like an empty platitude when your mind/life is in a bad state, but after a few years of progress and healing I read that line and wish I could adequately express the years of reflection and learning that can be distilled down to such a short statement.
Snowies@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
Thanks stranger.
I think a lot about daily life and the systems we’ve built and the way people treat each other and think about existence, and how we’ve changed and over time… or haven’t.
We’re advancing faster than we’re evolving.
I think that’s causing problems :/
aceshigh@lemmy.world 8 months ago
the unexamined life is not worth living
DominatorX1@thelemmy.club 8 months ago
That’s snappy. You should put it on a coffee mug.
londos@lemmy.world 8 months ago
selfdefense420@lemmy.world 8 months ago
i was a camp host for a summer and it was possibly the best summer of my life. no power, no water, no internet, minimal contact with people, cleaning toilets, and spending half of my day in a kayak.
theonetruedroid@lemmy.world 8 months ago
That sounds like a great way to spend a summer. I wouldn’t mind running water but I’d probably learn to appreciate it after not having it for a few months.
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 8 months ago
“lost at sea”
mf land right over there
???
Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
Theraphy, when it works, only solves internal causes of one’s pain.
29 days away from present day society, will for a while suspend the external causes of one’s pain.
(Which is why the former usually doesn’t fully solve everything: the external shit, which often is what created much of the internal shit, is still there and pushing you)
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 8 months ago
I’m considering hard getting “lost” forever.
MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
I felt this comment.
Thanks, I hate it.
ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Weak men can’t admit to their faults nor face their shortcomings, lackings and fears. Entire sections of the internet have been devoted to allowing men to avoid reality and remain immature…
biggerbogboy@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
I hate this ‘weak men’ bullshit, sure some fit the popular definition, but do you know their pasts? Their trauma? The reason they fit such a description? I’d say it’s pretty damn difficult to know these about anyone you never actually talk to.
Also, sometimes escapism works in favour of people and gets them to put their lives back together, although it can also cause negative changes as well, although it’s not guaranteed. It’s not a maturity or immaturity thing, it’s just an act.
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
You have to be kidding, men don’t have trauma. If they do they’re weak.
Wait…
ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I understand, and I honestly wasn’t trying to hurt anyone nor make light of their trauma. What I said was simply descriptive. And there’s a difference between losing yourself in media sometimes, perhaps to cleanse your head, and the pro MTGOW/incel narratives and communities that pollute online spaces, which is what I was referring to.
Grass@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
therapy might get covered but costs money somewhere along the way. it might also lose you a job for ‘unrelated’ reasons.
you presumably get paid while lost at sea if you are part of the crew
Gorilladrums@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Therapy has become the new buzzword to prescribe to any individualistic issue because most people don’t know what it is or who its for, they just think it’s a silver bullet solution to everything because everybody else says so… but it’s not.
Therapy is great for specific people with specific disorders, it’s there to help provide these people with solutions and treatments to improve their conditions. It’s not meant to be a replacement for a social circle or to fix the problems in your life.
Not to mention that therapy is either expensive or hard to access or the therapist you do get to see are usually not that great. It is very hard and very rare to find a good therapist that’s affordable and nearby. Even then, a therapist can only do so much. They’re trained to work through common disorders using several established methods, but not much beyond that. Therapists can help you overcome your anxiety, but they can’t help you find meaningful relationships.
This is doubly true for men, because a lot of men are facing issues related to finding purpose and meaning in life, and that’s something that’s beyond the scope of therapy. Maybe these issues could be resolved as a result of treating a disorder, but that’s not always the case. The point is that therapy is not a magical solution, and it’s not going to solve huge societal problems like men turning their backs on society.
selfdefense420@lemmy.world 8 months ago
therapy also teaches a lot of sociopathic traits.
my SIL went through therapy recently (after getting into a weird polygamous relationship which allowed her the $$ to do so). she and my wife had lived through a pretty traumatic upbringing after their wonderful father died and left them to deal with a BPD mother who blew through the family money and left them to practically fend for themselves while being batshit crazy.
all the therapist taught her was to be selfish. she practically cut off contact with both her sister and mother and just got really good at doing what was best for herself and herself only. since then, her mother has become disabled and now my wife is having to deal with it all alone while the sister lives a very lavish life on a farm.
fuck therapy and fuck modern life in general. no wonder we’re all becoming assholes.
NotANumber@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
If the mother is so bad and abusive then why is your wife helping her? I think the sister did the right thing here. The state has mechanisms to take care of the elderly for good reasons.
NotANumber@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
You say men are turning their backs on society. I would argue it’s the other way round. Modern society has lots of problems unfortunately, and can be quite hostile especially to men.
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
This is, of course, the fault of women.
Gorilladrums@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I don’t think these two things are mutually exclusive
selfdefense420@lemmy.world 8 months ago
men built society. whatever problems are inherent in it were practically designed by men. as a matter of fact, the further we go, the more we slip away from the feminine qualities of our humanity (our more egalitarian hunter-gatherer roots). and as it begins to collapse around us, you incels are gonna cry about how it’s unfair? fuck you. put your big boy pants on and deal with it. or better yet, retreat completely from it and let the people with honest consciences rebuild it.
god, i fucking hate incels.
Flickerby@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
Shameless plug for /c/reprieve@lemmy.zip for male identifying people to talk about these and all other issues with other men without any judgement or dumbass alpha male bullshit.
Wazowski@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Eh. Therapy is overrated. Tried it a bunch of times and it’s not nearly effective for me as just… thinking.
grueling_spool@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
Quit crying. You’ll be fine. Don’t be such a crybaby. Man up. Put on your big boy pants. Boys don’t cry. Boo hoo, gonna cry about it? Gonna cry like a little girl? Be a man. Face your problems like a man. Crying doesn’t help anything. Take it like a man. Don’t be a baby. You’re acting like a girl. Grow a pair. Suck it up and move on.
Why will men do literally anything besides talk about their feelings?
0x0@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
boonhet@sopuli.xyz 8 months ago
To be fair it’s also men doing this to other men mostly. Women participate in toxic masculinity too, but really, men give each other a lot of shit with very little support.
HalfSalesman@lemmy.world 8 months ago
In my experience, when a man complains about their ‘men’ problems to anyone online they’re given the treatment grueling_spool is describing by both men and women.
But in more “insulated” face to face conversations its pretty varied/mixed. I suspect this is mostly an “all to all” online conversation effect. There are people who are absolutely ruthless online towards men complaining about problems men specifically face and they will find complaining men and mock them.
Alaik@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
Without giving away my age (But I do predates smart phones and home internet use), I’ve found men are perfectly fine with venting assuming the setting is right. Small group? Beer? Sure. Something embarrassing happens in the moment? Not so much.
Its everyone but your male friends who will give you shit for showing any emotion but anger.
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
For sure, women usually say they want a man who can show his feelings. It’s just that the second he does cry about anything other than a dead child, she gets the ick and loses all respect for him, in my personal experience. I think they talk a big game but when the chips are down they find out they’re not actually as into it as they thought.
mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
anecdotally, as a guy in my thirties, even my acquaintances (wouldn’t actually consider them friends tbh, since we only hang out at rec game times) are quite supportive. sure there’s the surface level of shit talk, but if you start to get serious, they do too. a few of them surprised me with this.
in my experience nowadays, it’s equally just shitty people of any gender that say suck it up, no real bias one way or another
but that’s of course just my own circles. I tend to just drop out of (or not join in the first place) any circle that has shitty people
dontbelievethis@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
To be fair, who said it wasn’t also men?
hperrin@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
Oh fuck off. Therapy won’t help with… *gestures at everything*
buttnugget@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Agreed. It’s more like “people would rather be lost at sea than live in a modern society”.
pressanykeynow@lemmy.world 8 months ago
To be fair we were breed to be lost at sea/forest/steppe, not live in a modern society. Like that’s our natural place to live and die, not a city.
bender223@lemmy.today 8 months ago
So jelly 😌
Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Therapy just wants to back as a member of society. I don’t like society. It just sees be as a part of the economic machine. A stone and be squeezed for blood.
daggermoon@lemmy.world 8 months ago
therapy costs money
Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Honestly if I had the means and skills to survive that semi-comfortably, I’d be down for making that an annual tradition.
Obi@sopuli.xyz 8 months ago
I think it’s not quite the same if you decided it, and can leave or connect to the internet at any moment.
zipzoopaboop@lemmynsfw.com 8 months ago
Therapy doesn’t help much if you have no power over the root cause
devAlot@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Totally get where you’re coming from. If you’re staring down the barrel of something massive like trauma, abuse, an enitre system that’s completely fucked and seems way bigger than you and the others fighting it are or ever will be, it feels like no matter how much “self care” you do, the external crap stays the same, right?? It’s fucking maddening.
But idk, to me, therapy (actual, good therapy with a non-shitty therapist) isn’t about giving us power over the root cause, not always anyways because like you said, sometimes it’s impossible. Imo, a lot of times it’s about helping people stop handing more power to “it” (whatever it may be) than “it” already has. We don’t get to choose what happens to us sometimes, but we do get to choose how we respond to it, how we carry it, how we let it affect us, how we pass our pain onto others. It can be a super uncomfortable, yet extremely liberating, paradox. Like, okay, I might not be able to slay the dragon here (sorry, nerd here), but I can sure as hell stop feeding it in whatever way way I was (constant unhealthy thought patterns, my own actions or the lack thereof, etc).
Therapy doesn’t fix the world for sure, but it can help us decide which parts of the suffering are necessary, or which parts we might be unconsciously choosing to carry longer than we need to. Idk, that’s where our power really is, imo.
itsprobablyfine@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
It sounds like you’re telling me to stop caring about climate change cause I’d be happier
zipzoopaboop@lemmynsfw.com 8 months ago
Fair, it can teach you tools many people do not have
FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 8 months ago
My therapist is taking two weeks off for their own mental health, been hearing the same woes from everyone and it’s weighing
Daft_ish@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
As someone in n therapy. Sure, yes. Its not great.
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
Depends on the kind of “lost at sea”
In a perfectly functioning oceanworthy boat stocked with food, but the GPS fell overboard and I have no idea where I am so I’m going to sail West as much as I can until I hit land, then sail counter-clockwise around the coast until I find something I can identify or someone I can ask? Sure let’s go.
Ship sank, I’m alone in an inflatable raft with a flare gun and a blinkenlight? Nah you go ahead.
Daft_ish@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
Ill still sign up. Rafty and Flare Gunny sound like great new friends and we would have all sorts of adventures.
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
I can think of two adventures you’ll be going on a lot: Sunburn and wave slosh. Meh.
But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Here’s my thing with therapy. I know the issue, i know what’s wrong with me, and I know what I’m supposed to do to fix it, i just don’t. I can’t see how therapy will help beyond what I’ve got
Daft_ish@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
You can talk about why you dont want to fix it. Maybe there’s something there.
buddascrayon@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I think I’d rather be lost at sea than be anywhere near any portion of our current civilization.
pjwestin@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Then again, have you seen reality?
Agent641@lemmy.world 8 months ago
1.8/10 on IMDB
pressanykeynow@lemmy.world 8 months ago
So even with bots it’s only 1.8…
NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 8 months ago
This is therapy. if I could just drop out of everything for 29 days I’d come back refreshed and Zen as fuck.
bstix@feddit.dk 8 months ago
If I could drop out of everything for 29 days, I wouldn’t come back at all.
LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I’m getting major surgery in two weeks and I’ll be on short term disability for an entire month afterwards. I’m honestly really looking forward to the time off, even if it’ll be full of physical suffering. My burnout outweighs the physical trauma of having nearly all of my reproductive organs removed.
NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 8 months ago
I did the same, back during COVID lockdown. I think my body just started producing endorphins, because I was totally at piece while everybody lost their minds over that. I played The Outer Wilds and accepted that everything must end.
bilb@lemmy.ml 8 months ago
That’s about 1 standard stint in rehab where I’m from
Lucelu2@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
It is sad when you start considering going to rehab just to get 28-30 days away from work to de-stress, get sleep, meditate, do some inner work and work on healthy habits. Because if you are single and not reproducing, you don’t get maternity leave and if you are young or middle aged and relatively healthy, you aren’t getting any orthopedic surgeries that render you temporarily disabled…
evening_push579@feddit.nu 8 months ago
Isn’t that called vacation? Just don’t bring any communications device ;)
piranhaconda@mander.xyz 8 months ago
I don’t know many people that can afford a 29 day vacation (I’m in the US, and yes I’m jealous of what I hear about European benefits)
Distropia@endlesstalk.org 8 months ago
It seems that being a castaway is preferable to dystopia. thedailytism.com/autistic-man-stranded-on-desert-…
buddascrayon@lemmy.world 8 months ago
You do realize that is a comedy site, right?
Distropia@endlesstalk.org 8 months ago
But that’s the only nonpartisan site I could find!
naught101@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Is this about his mental health, or just about his shit working conditions?