Zink
@Zink@programming.dev
- Comment on We wouldn’t need the Epstein files to prove DJT’s guilt if society just trusted women in the first place. 15 hours ago:
This is why we need to be teaching kids about the importance of high quality evidence and how to find it.
Right now we’re on the hunches and bible quotes track.
- Comment on WrestleMania was running wild on you 1 day ago:
If a public figure dies and some people have good things and bad things to say about them, that is just life.
If a public figure dies and a significant and diverse segment of the population want to dance on their grave and fight over who gets to celebrate their death the most, then that sounds like something of historical significance to me.
- Comment on They even got their own island 1 day ago:
re: 2. You’re wrong.
There, checked that box.
It’s pretty convenient for me that you only offered a one-line assertion, so I could reply with a one-line assertion!
This is one of those subjects where you can write an essay in reply or throw out simple phrases that might highlight some profound thing to those who are already on the other side of the issue from you.
And I’m sitting here with my family wanting to play a game with me, been with my wife for 25 years, so let me take a shot at very broadly and generally logic-ing my train of thought to love being a “real” thing and worthwhile:
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I am naturally a recluse computer nerd personality who doesn’t talk to anybody. Yeah I’m married but I have never personally asked a girl out, nor have any ever asked me out. Very lucky to have had her randomly find me on freaking ICQ of all things, and obviously our chats went well enough to meet up.
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I’m married, and it’s a whole social and legal construct, but I’m not talking about any of that stuff here. This is about the effect of relationships on the human psyche.
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Nothing is “real.” I look at the universe through what I think of as a “positive nihilism” lens. Things like meaning, purpose, love, justice, and others are constructs of our conscious minds, not features of the physical world (and yeah technically they kind of are part of the physical world because our brains are, but I think you get my meaning). The upside is that this can be a very freeing feeling. It is OK to figure out what you really care about and pursue that. But the downside is that you can very easily and very significantly limit your own life experiences due to nothing more than your own perceptions.
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Humans are a very social species. Belonging to families and tribes is programmed deep within us, even if we reject it (see my #1) or are ignorant of it and let it drive negative behavior (see political parties, sports teams, racism, etc).
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Lust is not bad. Let’s not be puritans. I don’t lust after everybody I love (eww) but I lust after my wife all the time and it’s awesome fun.
5a. Speaking of #5 there, an important underlying thing to remember is that you have to allow yourself to enjoy life and have fun. And yeah, it sounds like an empty platitude of a saying. “That’s what I’m trying to do every hour of every day” I hear my old self saying. Yeah but there are a lot of self-imposed limitations and assumptions that we don’t even realize we’re putting on ourselves. I mean, I’m a white male USian on Lemmy. I am keenly aware of how fucked up things are all over the place despite my locale not changing at all. Oh and I was raised by angry conservative Catholics. And those things only cover the guilt-based aspects of what you’re supposed to do. I think having a kid helps me keep myself balanced here. It would be evil and irresponsible to ignore the plight of other people, but it would also be pretty wrong and irresponsible to make my 8 year old’s world miserable just because they were born onto the same fucked up planet the rest of us were.
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The goal here is to improve the life experience of myself and those around me. There isn’t some ideal state where we have officially reached “love” status.
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To have the best effect on our psyches, our life experiences need to engage our senses and affect our environment. So I am talking about sharing the same physical space with loved ones and not just texting constantly or being super active on Facebook or whatever site. And I am not being an old luddite that thinks it should be this way (see #1). Digital communication is awesome, but generally the person to person connection is better as you involve more senses. Think of text -> call -> video call -> in-person visit, whether it’s to figure out something for work or to learn about the new baby in the family.
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Love isn’t just an emotion. It usually means having affection for the person, sure, but it is also a level of respect and a level of commitment to that person or people. And it is certainly not always selfless, but it can be. And there are degrees. There are plenty of friends’ children that we love and would do all kinds of stuff for. And we often do, and don’t ask for anything in return. And you might think this sounds like we could let friends take advantage of us. And to that I would say, that is an approach that puts negativity and greed foremost in your mind. What usually happens is that we go into the situation in a positive and generous way, and the psychological benefit that WE get is far greater than whatever time or money we spent.
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Our bodies run on feedback loops! It seems fairly ubiquitous that for so many of our daily actions, our body directs resources to get better at the things we do more of, and worse at the things we do less of. This goes for way more than physical strength. So it might sound stupid, but making the conscious decision “I am going to be better at loving X person, and better at loving and taking care of myself” and start letting that mindset drive your little decisions in one direction rather than the other, it can add up in small ways and start to snowball. So this is where the annoying circular sayings like “to be happy you must choose to be happy” start to make sense once you see it in action.
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So yeah, that has got to be enough typing for now. Loving somebody doesn’t mean they are perfect and that I never have a problem with them. And loving them unconditionally does not mean that I never try to get them to change their ways or improve something. It’s like the old saying “you get out what you put in.”
Disclaimer: If you need medication to keep some issue(s) under control, this advice is not meant as a magical “you can do it buddy” alternative to that. I am still on my medications for depression/anxiety and ADHD. So, loving others well is something I choose to do because it is best for me and those around me. However, it is a WHOLE LOT harder to act like I want to act when I am in pain and half asleep all the time.
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- Comment on Brave browser blocks Windows feature that takes screenshots of everything you do on your PC 3 days ago:
This is my setup, and I never actually use ungoogled chromium.
If I have some kind of issue that I need to work around immediately rather then figure out, I usually just open Firefox and try that.
- Comment on Nintendo can disable your Switch 2 for piracy in the U.S., but not in Europe, as confirmed by its EULA 4 days ago:
I have had this long-term tendency in my gaming platforms where I alternate between PC and console as my primary long-term focus. For example, I remember that 2019 was almost nothing but VR gaming on my PC, but in more recent years I’ve used game pass on xbox to play all kinds of titles that I wouldn’t have otherwise.
My family uses the Xbox pretty regularly still, but I think now that I can use my Linux PC from the couch (without taking over the TV) it has broken me from caring about consoles. Like, I recognize the skill of Nintendo’s developers and I know I’m going to play the mario & kart releases eventually, but I haven’t even considered getting a switch 2. I know a family member has one, so likely my first time playing Mario Kart World will be at thanksgiving, lol.
I am also a fan of emulation. I’d be content if you only ever allowed me to play my NES, SNES, and PSX roms for the rest of my life. But since Nintendo’s business model means putting their beautifully designed games only on restricted/limited hardware, it’s a better way to play some of their newer stuff too.
- Comment on You can drive 74 hours and still be in Germany. The American mind can't comprehend this. 1 week ago:
Yeah, I have a few in my Pennsyltucky town and over the years people have even learned not to stop at the yield signs!
- Comment on You can drive 74 hours and still be in Germany. The American mind can't comprehend this. 1 week ago:
Yeah, you can’t drive like a dangerous asshole on your way to park your full size truck based SUV across two handicap spots if you don’t have a car in the first place!
- Comment on Google Keeps Making Smartphones Worse 1 week ago:
I find myself using desktop Linux more than my mobile device, even on the couch with the family. Monitors on arms that can swing out of the way ftw. No cute advice for keyboards though. We have wireless ones around but I still use my wired Deck Legend on my lap. It’s an old mechanical keyboard that’s built like a tank, with the PCB literally mounted to a sheet of metal that is mounted inside the housing, lol.
It’s almost a shame, because smart phones are still absolutely amazing to me as far as the amount of scientific and technical advancement that can fit in the palm of your hand. But I look forward to the open options various parties are working on.
- Comment on Linux Reaches 5% Desktop Market Share In USA 1 week ago:
Hear, hear!
There is nothing wrong, and in fact there is something good, with FOSS being polished and user friendly out of the box.
Historically that has not been a priority, because FOSS has been by the computer nerds, for the computer nerds. But if that priority shifts to being a bit more “by the computer nerds, for the normies” then that is a good thing as long as the developers don’t prevent the power users from accessing any part of the system they want. Fortunately that completely against the point of the FOSS world.
I first learned Unix in the 90s, I use my Linux desktop more than my phone, I’m an engineer on embedded systems digging through C and C++ code all day, I have terminals open all day, and… I have Linux Mint Cinnamon installed on all my machines and love it. Change My Mind, lol.
- Comment on Linux Reaches 5% Desktop Market Share In USA 1 week ago:
Yeah, even from inside the US it seems more and more iffy to trust our tech giants even as a paying customer. I love reading the stories about groups and governments in Europe adopting Linux/FOSS, but I’m also surprised I don’t see it more.
Everything in the news is so insane that I could see journalists ignoring/missing such mundane events as public sector software choices.
- Comment on Linux Reaches 5% Desktop Market Share In USA 1 week ago:
I made the full work + home switch last year. I don’t know which experience is more improved over Windows: Installing the OS or Updating the OS.
- Comment on Linux Reaches 5% Desktop Market Share In USA 1 week ago:
The funny thing for me is that my job is like 80% webpages in LibreWolf on my Linux machine. But that’s because the company uses M365 and Github.
I use various different programs for different reasons just like anybody, but I bet browser + vscode + terminal covers 95% of my work day.
- Comment on Since we're doing magic eyes now... 1 week ago:
I used to be able to do them at will, and even overlap images an additional time to get a crazy second level of shape.
But now I can’t, thanks to the american health insurance industry. yay!
- Comment on holee shiet 1 week ago:
Yeah it’s a funny joke, but this kind of shit actually works on people to an alarming degree.
I think it’s an extension of dunning-kruger, essentially. These dummies love “knowing” something that all those smug educated people that study it for a living somehow do not know. It’s something I see in my more conservative relatives too, the need to put others down to establish your legitimacy.
Even decades ago I remember hearing in conservative media the revelations that water vapor was a greenhouse gas, or that methane was, or that the sun goes through cycles, or that the earth’s orbit isn’t perfectly circular. Every single time it was discussed with the wonder of that brain exploding in space dude meme. Just flinging that confusion and doubt in all directions, knowing that each piece will probably be the thing that convinces part of the audience.
- Comment on Why Americans Can’t Buy the World’s Best Electric Car 2 weeks ago:
Well don’t forget that Walmart itself is literally government subsidized when the people employed there still need food stamps or other welfare programs.
- Comment on Really?! 2 weeks ago:
I love to hear that it was received as intended!
Though I’ll also add one thing that HAS changed without me having to stop being decent to others or critical of myself (in a healthy way): Whether it’s something at work or at some, I have learned to blunt that urge to get somebody’s approval to do something before I do it. It’s a mix of some earned confidence, and of wanting to own my decisions, all in the context of teaching myself to be decisive and act rather than analyze and discuss with others while never doing anything.
And that last bit isn’t my inevitable turn back into the productivity-obsessed conservative asshole I was raised to be. It is self care after a lifetime of raw dogging ADHD. So the first part about being decisive and trusting my judgment is very true, but the second part about just doing anything is probably even moreso in my case. It includes getting things done that I desperately want to do for my personal life and well being. I have built so much shit this summer with my own two hands that my body has gun as much benefit as my mind.
- Comment on Self starter 2 weeks ago:
making mundane work unbearable.
Finding joy in the quiet time doing the mundane work I CARE about (lots of yard work, construction, and taking care of my animals) is some of the most important meditative-type time that I spend, I have learned.
It makes work more bearable to more enjoyable when I can find a similar mental state, listening to the same music, etc.
- Comment on Really?! 2 weeks ago:
8 years of college here. Three degrees! Also well over 2 decades of industry experience.
And I have good news. In 20 years you will probably still have impostor syndrome because you will probably still be a decent person who is willing to question themselves and isn’t an arrogant jerk. :>
- Comment on Grandma is on her own 2 weeks ago:
I think many people (USians in particular) need to have it described to them this simply.
It’s just assumed in so many situations that somebody’s right to enjoy their legally-acquired property supercedes any concerns about the life or suffering of others living in the same system.
- Comment on Welcome to petty lane 2 weeks ago:
Again, that sounds good on paper. In reality, I turn into an on-ramp and I’m approaching a line of cars going 75 mph. There happens to be a sign that says they should be limiting themselves to 55 mph.
If I merge at 75mph, the state of the roadway is essentially unchanged. If I merge at 55mph, I am introducing a new risk that was not there previously.
- Comment on Welcome to petty lane 2 weeks ago:
That’s easy to agree with in isolation, but many times on the main roads near me the normal flow of traffic in the slow lane can be 20 over. Driving at or below the speed limit would create a significantly more dangerous situation than cruising along at the same speed as the nearest several cars.
Yeah, you’d be operating in a more legal way, and the faster drivers around you should be able to safely deal with it, but that doesn’t mean the risk isn’t there.
- Comment on Welcome to petty lane 2 weeks ago:
This one made me bust out laughing. Such a perfect combination.
The previous one is great too. Both new to me, at least.
- Comment on Welcome to petty lane 2 weeks ago:
I have some great news for you. Look at what took effect yesterday in my state! Using a mobile device, including at a red light, is now a primary offense (you’ll get pulled over for just that).
This just applies to PA, but it’s a pretty big state with a population between Sweden and the Netherlands, so it’s not nothing!
- Comment on Viewers like you 2 weeks ago:
Oh I absolutely do, neurospicy stranger! I have the kind that comes with crushing Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria too.
I’ve tried some non-Ritalin brands of slow release methylphenidate, plus tried some slow release adderall, but right now just taking two immediate-release adderall is doing the trick.
You should SEE the amount of shit I’ve built this summer. I even contribute at work sometimes, lol.
- Comment on Viewers like you 2 weeks ago:
Ah ok, thanks! A while back I tried Jornay, which is also time release methylphenidate. Now I am just on instant release adderall. Slow release didn’t work for that either. It’s like it takes too long in my system.
It’s good so far!
I’m in the US with the typical high deductible health insurance you get from an employer in a professional office job. But I’m also in a unique situation where the treatment for a different condition of mine is so expensive that the drug company pays your deductible. So it’s almost like I have really good insurance that covers everything.
- Comment on Viewers like you 2 weeks ago:
Wow, that matches my experience exactly.
I’m curious if you’re willing to share what the medication is in your case.
- Comment on We really don't want to talk about our problems 3 weeks ago:
Damn, that is well said. This sentence in particular:
We are losing our respect for the profound, our empathy for the other, and our curiosity for the unknown.
is the kind of thing that sounds like an empty platitude when your mind/life is in a bad state, but after a few years of progress and healing I read that line and wish I could adequately express the years of reflection and learning that can be distilled down to such a short statement.
- Comment on We live wasted lives 3 weeks ago:
Yeah I’ve said this a few times, but honestly anybody who can interact with Lemmy is in the upper tiers of the scale compared with the vast majority of humans who have ever lived.
Obviously that does not mean that individuals cannot have terrible luck and circumstances.
- Comment on No! 4 weeks ago:
We have a few dogs. One is a yellow lab. He is absolutely the empty skull of the bunch.
This derpy wood knot dog face reminds me of him so much. If I had this piece of wood I’d learn some new skills and buy some new tools just to perfectly preserve it!
- Comment on It's a tragedeigh 4 weeks ago:
You make some good points, and even though the labels man and straight work for me, I have likewise been focusing more and more on the whole “know thyself and live life the way that really works for you” thing and loving it.
But back to my quip: You make some good points. I can foresee how much my dumb angry conservative relatives would hate it! No labels? No categories? Next you’re going to tell me that humans don’t naturally need strict hierarchy in their society to survive!