🤔
Some children need leashes
People putting a leash on their pets to stop them from running off is being a responsible owner, yet when someone puts a leash on their kids, its being an abusive parent...
Submitted 1 day ago by throwawayacc0430@sh.itjust.works to showerthoughts@lemmy.world
Comments
SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
blarghly@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Some children need choke collars
pedz@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
AFAIK it’s acceptable if the parent is walking or sitting with the child. It’s only abusive if you tie the leash outside while you go run some errands in a store, or if left attached in the backyard.
whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Yeah, that’s why you left them in the car
Bytemeister@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Leashing kids is not normal, or acceptable.
I grew up with 6 siblings, and divorced parents. Never in my life have I, or my siblings, been leashed (by our parents at least).
I’d never even seen a child on a leash until I went to the Georgia Aquarium, where I saw lots of kids on leashes. All the kids had the same kind of parent holding the lead. Some huge bitch with her nose stuck in her phone instead of enjoying the day with her kid that she fucking paid for.
Leashes are not normal, they are a sign of abuse.
“Oh, it’s needed for the kid’s safety”
No, it is not. I’ve been to cliffs, canyons, Yellowstone, caves and big cities in all kinds of venues, and I’ve only seen kids on leashes specifically in child-friendly venues, playgrounds, museums, and zoos, in the Bible-belt areas of the US. It’s not dangerous for kids to be off a leash and have some autonomy. If you are taking them to a place where it’s dangerous for them to act like children…then why the fuck are you taking them there in the first place?!
“My kid has special needs…”
Still doesn’t need a fucking leash. I worked at a daycamp for special needs children, and we never leashed or even restrained a child unless they were doing something dangerous to themselves or others. Even then, there was paperwork for the incident, and the restraint was always temporary. At 16 years old, I was a camp counselor for 4 special needs children at a time. An adult does not need a leash for just one.
There is one thing that leashes give parents, and that is a sense of physical domination of their child. Anything else is just an excuse.
Nefara@lemmy.world 1 day ago
It’s normal enough. I saw a couple of kids on wrist leashes just this weekend at a very crowded outdoor event. The kids were probably about 2 and 3. I have a 3 year old as well, and didn’t have him on a leash because he’s responsive to my voice calling him and has decent (for his age) impulse control. I didn’t judge or have negative impressions of those parents. They were present and just trying to enjoy the event with their kids. It’s HIGHLY kid dependent. When I was a toddler, I was the type to just run off in a crowd and I could have saved my mother a lot of grief and panic if she had a leash for me. It’s just another tool available to parents.
It’s important not to project your feelings as an adult, because you have different assumptions, associations and contexts tied to leashes than a toddler does. Generally, toddlers are taught to have shame or be embarrassed about things, their default sentiment to most things is extremely pragmatic. A toddler on a leash will be focused on the tactile sensation of it on their wrist or body, the effect it has of limiting their movement, and not much else. Think about when you saw those kids on leashes… were they upset about the leash? Were they trying to get out of it? Were they asking their guardians to please take it off? Or were they just kinda being silly kids running around exploring?
ExtantHuman@lemm.ee 1 day ago
Wrong, it’s perfectly normal.
From the sounds of things, you are not a parent trying to comment on things you know nothing about. The leash actually gives toddlers freedom they wouldn’t otherwise have. It lets them walk around, with some constraints, instead of being stuck riding in a stroller all the time. Kids at that age will jet off real quick. You take your eyes off then for a second and they’re gone.
Etterra@discuss.online 1 day ago
Not really. I wish more parents would use kid leashes. They clip onto a harness, not a collar. In fact the old saying about kids being “tied to their mother’s apron strings” is literally this, to keep the little monsters from running off and getting hurt or lost.
Anne@lemmy.world 1 day ago
My daughter and I had ones that were just bracelets with a retractable cord between. She could get up to around four feet from me. We did a lot of hiking since she could walk, and I can’t imagine going through some places without it. She’s so quick and always loved to peer right over cliff sides. No fear!
And009@lemmynsfw.com 19 hours ago
Provide a safe space, let kids run wild. Ideal.
aesthelete@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
I disagree: leash your kids (especially at restaurants).
ExtantHuman@lemm.ee 1 day ago
No it’s not?
They make leashes specifically for toddlers. They’re pretty common.
Freshparsnip@lemm.ee 1 day ago
When an animal is old and dying, you’re expected to euthanize it. When a human is old and dying, you’re expected to keep them alive as long as possible
ohwhatfollyisman@lemmy.world 1 day ago
a pet doesn’t leave behind an estate to inherit. laws are hesitant on human euthanasia because of the scope of misuse by greedy beneficiaries of wills.
meekah@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
Maybe we should rethink ownership as a concept. Is it really necessary? I feel like it causes a lot of trouble without solving much. Why can’t humans just properly work together in a society that shares resources with those in need?
modus@lemmy.world 1 day ago
How else do you plan to support the Healthcare industry?
Nollij@sopuli.xyz 1 day ago
I remember seeing someone make an argument for leashes, and it stuck with me. Forgive me that I don’t remember the source, so this is paraphrasing at best.
First, you must throw out all of your thoughts and mental associations with the leash. You must consider this scenario on its own. It has nothing to do with pets, or anything like that. This is about parenting, and only parenting.
You might see a leash as degrading. And to an adult, or an older child, that would certainly be the case. But these are typically only used on small children who have not yet developed that concept. IOW, the child does not mind the leash, aside from wanting to go where the leash won’t allow.
You might think that the child’s curiosity is being limited. Kids need to run and be free! But if there were no leash, that wouldn’t be the case. Instead of a leash, a hyper-vigilant parent would be enforcing similar boundaries. In fact, most parents would be enforcing stricter boundaries- if you need to make sure Junior doesn’t run away, you might not let them walk anywhere. The simplest form is requiring them to hold your hand, which is like an even shorter leash.
Since they can’t just run away, you can even use a long leash. That allows them to run and explore and jump around, and have significantly greater freedoms, all because the string keeps them near enough. They might still fall and get hurt, but that’s part of growing up. And yes, at a certain point, they will need to learn impulse control to stay nearby without a leash. This doesn’t mean a leash is bad, only that it’s not for every circumstance and needs to be retired at some point.
Now, after all of the above, can you articulate why a leash is always bad? Keeping in mind the child doesn’t mind.
chuymatt@startrek.website 1 day ago
Anyone against this has never been the parent of a rambunctious, suicidal toddler. Those little buggers are fast and deadly curious.
Bubbaonthebeach@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
Yep. I had one who would never stray far and didn’t want to cross the road without my say so until they were about 10. The other as soon as they were able to walk/run would high tail it to the nearest roadway the second your gaze wavered. Trying to convince my MIL that we weren’t abusive but just trying to keep our child alive until they knew better and could be reasoned with, was an ordeal. And holding their hand wasn’t much of an option because they would pull hard enough to dislocate their elbow. They also hated strollers or backpacks so that was not a viable option.
SuperEars@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I read the OP as if they’re highlighting a double standard, rather than positing that OP themselves think they’re bad. “Can you articulate why a leash is always bad” seems improper if I understand OP correctly.
I could be wrong :P
CeeBee_Eh@lemmy.world 1 day ago
This is mostly copied from my reply to another comment:
Parents get tired. In fact, most parents have chronic levels of sleep deprivation which impairs things like concentration, reflexes, ability to pay attention, etc. Then you have parents who might be working multiple jobs, be dealing with health issues that affect sleep, etc. A leash would make that job to keep kids safe much easier.
No leash equals a non-abusive, even though not every situation can allow a parent to keep 100% focus on the child, but using a leash the parent suddenly becomes abusive?
Should a parent not give the kid a helmet when learning to ride a bike then also? Does using a helmet mean the parent is abusive?
I just don’t understand this. I cannot fathom that someone would criticize a thing that objectively and provably make life in the world safer for children. It’s just another tool to help kids get to grow up.
There are countless stories of children just walking away in the 3 to 5 seconds a parent looks away where the child falls off a height, falls into water (not every parent can swim, and not all waters are swimable), gets picked up by a stranger in a crowd, etc. Situations that a leash would 100% have saved the child’s life.
And when these people are confronted on why it’s abusive or “embarrassing for the child”, they don’t have an answer.
They might say something out of left field like “children aren’t dogs!”, to which I say “yes, you’re right. Children aren’t dogs. Very good! Now about the leash, why is it abusive?”
interrobang@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
I used to run into traffic when I was a kid, so my mom put me on a leash.
Still never been hit by a car, so overall I think it was a good call. I don’t feel degraded by it.
CeeBee_Eh@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Good on your mom! And glad you were safe!
trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Counterpoint: children are people
I grew up with my father working night shifts and my mother being tired all the time, I didn’t need a leash.
Children are a lot more capable and resilient if you give them the chance to be, and insulating them from small forms of possible harm doesn’t help their development.
Now I am not saying “let your toddler run around a highway” but if you pick a reasonable place for your child to play there’s no need for a fucking leash 99% of the time.
CeeBee_Eh@lemmy.world 1 day ago
children are people
Very good! I’d give you a sticker, but I don’t know where you live.
insulating them from small forms of possible harm doesn’t help their development.
And a leash doesn’t do that. Being a hover parent does.
if you pick a reasonable place for your child to play there’s no need for a fucking leash 99% of the time.
What? Is that how you people think using a leash works? You think a leash is put on the child in the morning and isn’t taken off until the end of the day? Are you for real with that? Forget it, you don’t get a sticker for saying the dumbest thing I’ve heard today. And I’ve already watched a video about a flat earther.
Initiateofthevoid@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 hours ago
As always, “I grew up just fine” isn’t an argument for… well, anything. Especially because none of us can reasonably assume that’s true - even if we believe that you believe it’s true.
ChexMax@lemmy.world 1 day ago
That’s not a great take.
Children are people, don’t make them wear diapers! They can pee anywhere they want!
Children are people! Don’t limit their screen time! If you just give them plenty of toys, they will be capable of limiting their own screen time!
Children are people! They are resilient! Let them watch R-rated films and have unfettered access to the Internet!
No one is talking about putting a leash on an eight year old. We’re talking about letting a 14 month old get to experience the privilege of walking in a public place rather than being trapped on Mom’s hip or in a stroller.
atomicorange@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I’ve never broken a bone, but I did get a dislocated elbow once when I was quite young, maybe 2 or 3. I was a dumb stubborn kid who threw a tantrum in the middle of a street and my mom had to grab me by the arm and drag me to safety. I fought her so hard I dislocated my elbow. I’m not sure if a leash would have made that situation more manageable, but I wouldn’t have blamed my parents for trying it. Sometimes kids go through a feral animal phase and you just have to deal with it however you can.
CeeBee_Eh@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Yup, that’s called nurse maid’s elbow. It’s incredibly common. It’s almost always caused by a kid trying to yank themselves away. And it happens because at that young the tendons aren’t strong enough to hold that amount of weight/tension.
OTINOKTYAH@feddit.org 1 day ago
Children aren’t pets.
Pets aren’t children
Putting someone to a leash is degrading for humans. I know that there are exceptions, but If you are putting children on a leash, you are mostly seen as a bad parent and probably you are.
CeeBee_Eh@lemmy.world 1 day ago
but If you are putting children on a leash, you are mostly seen as a bad parent and probably you are.
100% you aren’t a parent.
I’ve never put a leash on my kid because I didn’t frequent extremely busy crowds. But leashes are great for kids. It gives them the feeling of self autonomy to explore, while keeping them safe.
Anyone who says they’re bad has never experienced turning your back for 0.68 seconds and then realizing your kid is already gone off somewhere. They are fast.
OTINOKTYAH@feddit.org 1 day ago
Again, it’s humiliating for children. Children are Not animals, and as parent it’s you fucking job to Look after your offspring. A leash will not Help you, when you are on the phone and the children runs into danger.
Also i know that they are fast. I have two of them, one of them running like hell ;)
CeeBee_Eh@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I find it very interesting that you have absolutely equated a leash with a pet and with degradation.
I have a cat, he’s not on a leash. Is he my child now? Or does that just mean he’s *not" my pet?
dogs are on a leash mostly for safety reasons for others.
That’s not entirely true. For example, dogs don’t understand traffic and that running across a street is dangerous (well, most dogs. Some dogs are just very smart). Keeping them on a leash minimizes the chance that it darts across the street because it sees something it wants to get. The owner put the dog on a leash because they understand that doing so will keep the dog safe from injury. The owner recognizes that the dog doesn’t understand the dangers involved.
An infant also doesn’t understand (can’t understand) the dangers. Putting them on a leash protects them from that danger. But it also helps the child develop independence, helps them exercise, helps them learn to walk better, helps their mental development from being able to explore and interact with the world.
Compared to just being carried or stuck in a stroller, which is ultimately boring and doesn’t help at all with the motor skills, and is far less impactful with mental development as they can only observe and not interact with.
RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
Me and my twin were leashed. I didn’t know it, so I guess we weren’t affected by that too much. Just other stuff in childhood. It was difficult for mother to control twins if she took us out alone so leashes it was.
Other people were so shitty to her about it though.
58008@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I was on a leash as a kid in the early '80s 😂 I forgot all about it until I saw this post. It was just when we were out shopping or something, it wasn’t like I was tethered to a post in the back garden. But honestly, a leash on young toddlers just seems like a good idea to me, especially if you have 2 or more kids and you’re all out together. Lots of tragedies could have been avoided if little Willy and his new superpower of self-determined locomotion wasn’t able to suddenly take a sharp 45° turn and sprint headlong into oncoming traffic. Abductions would be a lot harder to pull off, too. Thinking of James Bulger, specifically 😔
I also think it’s way nicer/less “abusive” than placing the kid in a buggy/stroller and wheeling their grumpy asses around like yer bell-ringing fella from Breaking Bad. They have zero freedom in that case, whereas on a leash they can at least walk around a bit and expend some of that crazy fizzy energy.
corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
My uncle used to tell us “fat kids are harder to kidnap” and we didn’t understand the joke even when we’d arrived at the ice cream place.
De_Narm@lemmy.world 1 day ago
That’s actually a common practise in some areas. I saw people doing it in London for example.
docmark@lemmy.world 1 day ago
If I had a kid that fucker would 100% be on a leash in public to an uncomfortable age.
In reality I’d probably just shove an ipad in front of their face and call it a day, like the rest of my peers.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 1 day ago
“Dad…I’m 22…”
“And you’re still not to be trusted!”
makeshiftreaper@lemmy.world 1 day ago
As a former 22 year old, I should have absolutely been on a leash
ohwhatfollyisman@lemmy.world 1 day ago
how many judge judy cases are about problems caused by runaway children? there’s a reason why laws mandate leashes for dogs – their scope for damage is far higher than is that for toddlers.
floo@retrolemmy.com 1 day ago
People like pets. Nobody likes children.
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I like them when they hit age 10-11 or so and their logic circuits start to kick in.
medgremlin@midwest.social 1 day ago
But when they’re really young you can do things like convince them that trees walk and that’s why trees in cities are in those little cages or pens. (They do actually use their roots to pull themselves around a bit, but it takes a very long time for the amount of movement to be noticeable.)
Opinionhaver@feddit.uk 1 day ago
This one guy always hanged at out playground and really did seem to like children. Always had candy on the back of his van as well.
Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 day ago
This made me realize that my parents having me on a leash as a toddler may be why I have a leash kink as an adult. 🤔
judgyweevil@feddit.it 1 day ago
I want to know what psychologists say about this
Migmog@lemm.ee 1 day ago
For kids the leash is supposed to be psychological.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Yeah, but let’s take it one step further. Lets put a muzzle on kids! ESPECIALLY in airports! Have you ever in your life been in an airport, and NOT been sitting in an area with some shitty kid crying and screaming, and being a general piece of shit?
No. The answer is no you haven’t. Unless you’ve never been to an airport. I suppose thats a second option.
Jikiya@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Dog muzzles are not to stop them from barking. They can still make all the noise, a muzzle is to protect people from their sharp teeth.
OTINOKTYAH@feddit.org 1 day ago
Why Not using earplugs?
sxan@midwest.social 1 day ago
I liked the idea until you made it about sound.
I don’t want some random kid biting me. I could get rabies.
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
Been a long time, but back in the 90s, I saw tons of parents with their kids on leashes at amusement parks… It always made me lol at the absurdity, but it was relatively prominent.
Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
I laughed too, until I raised a toddler with ADHD. He wasn’t diagnosed yet, but lord was it obvious he had the markers. Never leashed him, but definitely ran after him a lot, and had to keep a hyperfocused eye on him at all times.
I don’t laugh as hard now, I still giggle, but just not as hard
ExtantHuman@lemm.ee 1 day ago
I was a leash kid in the early 90s. I do not feel dehumanized knowing that was the case, like some of these childless reactionaries in the comments are claiming.
MehBlah@lemmy.world 1 day ago
That depends. If its a choke chain then either group is abusive. One morning I witnessed some asshole who had a steel cable around a two or three year old kids neck as a choke chain. Later I found out the kid was autistic. This was found out after they kid was taken from his parents and was tested.
CatGPT@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Cats prefer new hoomans on leash like dog
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
Adults have leashes tied to them to, you just cant see them.
Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe 1 day ago
Says who?
I’ve seen plenty of small kids on wrist leashes since the 80’s.
Also, there’s a vast difference between a kid and even a dog, when it comes to autonomy - your goal is to slowly develop a kid’s autonomy so they can be independent.
With dogs, you have to do the reverse - condition them so they’ll want to defer their autonomy to you. And with some dogs, even with the best, most capable trainers in the world they’ll still dart after that rabbit or whatever catches their eye.