58008

@58008@lemmy.world

• Getting 'laid off' probably sounds pretty sexy to someone who doesn't know what it actually means
  Submitted ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩ to ⁨showerthoughts@lemmy.world⁩ | ⁨9⁩ ⁨comments⁩
• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨advertisement⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  If you suffer from erectile softness, sliding yourself into an MRI like this will cause the iron-rich blood from your whole body to be drawn into your pennis by the powerful magnet. Then you just tie a tourniquet on it at the base, and you’re good to go.

  Also works in a large centrifuge in which they train fighter pilots, if you don’t have access to a hospital.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Can't Fool Me!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m in my 40s and I still occasionally get a dream where I’m using the toilet, and that in the dream I’m making sure I’m really awake by looking around the room reading labels on things etc. People say you can’t read text in dreams, because it looks mangled and makes no sense. Well, if you believe it makes sense within the logic of the dream - that is, whatever switch in your brain that makes you go from “not sure” to “100% confident” gets flipped - then it matters not what lorem ipsum horseshit is printed in melting calligraphy on the shampoo bottle. My brain yearns for a piss-filled mattress and it will not be dissuaded by my feeble attempts at some sort of dreamworld scientific method.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It’s the little things⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  What if each H~2~O molecule was coated in a hydrophobic substance?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's transportation not cisportation⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I think my bank manager has a kink, keeps texting me about “transaction”??

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What do you call the first person with a new genetic mutation⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Patient 1

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Can reading assholes be considered science?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I can tell by the flavour that a new love interest will come into your life imminently.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The Cause of Grok’s Increasing Antisemitism? Apparently, Two Lines of Code (Update: One of the Lines of Code Was Removed)⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Say what you will about Musk, but you gotta hand it to the man; for someone who has sired so many bastards with so many different women, he has somehow remained the world’s biggest virgin.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Elon Musk’s Grok Is Calling for a New Holocaust | The chatbot is also praising Hitler and attacking users with Jewish-sounding names.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise loving the white race and wanting a secure future for white children makes me a BIGOT.

  /s

• In languages which use complex written characters (such as Chinese's logographs), is there an equivalent to English's "text speak" shorthand?
  Submitted ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ to ⁨nostupidquestions@lemmy.world⁩ | ⁨24⁩ ⁨comments⁩
• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The signatures are still coming and it's already making an impact⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  “Won’t somebody PLEASE think of the children devs!?”

  The last refuge of a dying argument 😴

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨We'd like to welcome our newest Student to Hogwarts, Hun-Gary Mc'Spud.⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Potatrick Tuberman

• Nothing has helped me learn to trust my instincts more than trying to plug in hundreds of USB devices over the years
  Submitted ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ to ⁨showerthoughts@lemmy.world⁩ | ⁨13⁩ ⁨comments⁩
• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨If nudity was more widely accepted, tattoos would be more popular.⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I bet it’d also cause a huge comeback for those rub-on tattoos you used to get with bubblegum.

• If one were so inclined, could you take your plot of land, parcel it up into 1-meter-squared (or smaller) sections, and sell each of those sections to different people/companies?
  Submitted ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ to ⁨nostupidquestions@lemmy.world⁩ | ⁨14⁩ ⁨comments⁩
• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨A cuppa Jill⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  “Council Juice” in N. Ireland.

• Rich people know their cosmetic surgery is obvious and uncanny, but that's the point; it's a way of signalling that you belong in a certain income bracket and that you're part of the 1%
  Submitted ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ to ⁨showerthoughts@lemmy.world⁩ | ⁨28⁩ ⁨comments⁩
• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Don't kink shame Oklahoma City.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  To me it looks more like the transcript of a monkey asking for help because he’s choking.

• Why do fancy cars look fancy and cheap cars don't? Can't you just slap a Lamborghini-style chassis onto a lawnmower engine if you want?
  Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩ to ⁨nostupidquestions@lemmy.world⁩ | ⁨51⁩ ⁨comments⁩
• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What are you all looking forward to at Summer Games Fest?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Same here, either Half-Life 3 or Portal 3 would be the dream (why not both in a fancy new Orange Box?)

  Hell, a non-VR version of Alyx would make me happy! I do have access to a headset, but I get very sick very fast when I use it. Pounding headaches, nausea, it’s really bad 😒

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨"And my dick fucks your wife more than you do. What's your point?"⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Good for you man, that’s a really great watch 😊

  Sad little men like that are most hurt by you not being offended by them. It’s like with internet trolls; non-engagement is the best weapon. It also happens to require the least amount of energy or time. So easy, but so devastating to their ego.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion Remastered - Update 1.1 (Beta)⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Why are they so excruciatingly slow to release patches? This patch doesn’t even cover game-breaking issues, such as the bow’s paralysis perk crashing the game if you trigger the perk twice in a row. There’s a workaround where you edit .ini files to set the chance of paralysis to 0%, but most people aren’t gonna do that.

  I got 100% of the cheevos and logged 110 hours in doing so. The game crashed for me literally hundreds of times (maybe close to 1,000), and I submitted the bug reports for every one of them. I had to quicksave every minute, to avoid losing too much progress. It’s the most unstable piece of software I’ve ever used, game or otherwise.

  The game itself is great, but fuck me… almost 2 months later and they patched maybe 0.2% of the crashes and bugs every player is encountering 😒

• Why is having a lawyer present during police interviews "opt in" rather than "opt out"?
  Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩ to ⁨nostupidquestions@lemmy.world⁩ | ⁨48⁩ ⁨comments⁩
• Consider this barrel thoroughly scrapedlemmy.world ↗
  Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩ | ⁨8⁩ ⁨comments⁩
• Why is it ok to replace -ed at the end of a word with -t in some cases? For example, why are "vexed" and "vext" both acceptable, but "thrilled" and "thrilt" aren't?
  Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩ to ⁨nostupidquestions@lemmy.world⁩ | ⁨22⁩ ⁨comments⁩
• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Discord unveils Discord Orbs, a new in-app currency that users can earn by completing Quests, which reward participants who interact with ads⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  RIP Discord.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I hope i don't get downvoted for this⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Kids. Thank god I’m not attracted to kids. Or animals. Anything else is fair game. Feet attached to a consenting adult are fine. Don’t see the big deal. I like to spit-shine the rusty sheriff’s badge, so why the fuck would I care if someone likes a boring regular appendage like a foot? 🤷‍

  Unless there’s some angle to this non-foot people don’t understand? Like, maybe being turned on by feet is comorbid with an uncontrollable need to blast rope over any uncovered foot you see? Now that would suck.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The New York Times Just Published Some Bizarre Race Science About Asian Women⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I agree with the outrage, but I don’t know that using race science to combat race science is the way to attack this horseshit. Futurism essentially says “the NYT says Asians have small hands, but what the race science actually says is that hand size is yada yada etc. etc.”

  Like, is race science silly or is it not? 🤷‍ If science said that, yes, Asian women have unusually small and “nimble” fingers, it wouldn’t make a bit of difference; the entire concept is stupid and racist, not just the inaccuracy of the hand measurements. Needling over the microdifferences in index finger girth between Asians and Americans (who may well be of Asian descent themselves) is missing the whole-ass point.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨"Betrothal" (getting engaged) is an anagram for "at brothel".⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Bel Throat, a condition of the larynx where the sufferer is unable to speak because of nervousness/anxiety. Often suffered by brides and grooms at the altar.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I was on a leash as a kid in the early '80s 😂 I forgot all about it until I saw this post. It was just when we were out shopping or something, it wasn’t like I was tethered to a post in the back garden. But honestly, a leash on young toddlers just seems like a good idea to me, especially if you have 2 or more kids and you’re all out together. Lots of tragedies could have been avoided if little Willy and his new superpower of self-determined locomotion wasn’t able to suddenly take a sharp 45° turn and sprint headlong into oncoming traffic. Abductions would be a lot harder to pull off, too. Thinking of James Bulger, specifically 😔

  I also think it’s way nicer/less “abusive” than placing the kid in a buggy/stroller and wheeling their grumpy asses around like yer bell-ringing fella from Breaking Bad. They have zero freedom in that case, whereas on a leash they can at least walk around a bit and expend some of that crazy fizzy energy.