Does this forest get smaller over the course of the night like a hunger games arena?
The second matchup of the tournament
Submitted 6 months ago by gmtom@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/60190d43-7796-45e9-8430-b684a01a1249.png
Comments
Allonzee@lemmy.world 6 months ago
FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee 6 months ago
Animal royale
GluWu@lemm.ee 6 months ago
We should do the opposite of Noah’s arc where we put 2 of every animal, including humans, in the Houston Astrodome and have them fight to the death until one emerges.
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
so is this like a storm in a battle royale where once it collapse i win? Except instead of winning, i’m no longer lost?
Blackmist@feddit.uk 6 months ago
Wolf attacks on humans are rare but common enough to have their own Wikipedia page, but there’s no record of wild gorillas killing anyone.
Which means they’re either super chill, or really fucking sneaky about it.
Sylvartas@lemmy.world 6 months ago
IIRC gorillas are indeed pretty chill if you respect their territorial instincts, as opposed to, say, a chimp that might try to kill you more or less on a whim
sparkle@lemm.ee 6 months ago
i find it funny how the animals more related to humans are the more ruthlessly violent ones. apparently bonobos are much more violent than chimps, and orangutans are less violent than gorillas
johannesvanderwhales@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Wolves are also a lot more common, though.
EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Thanks Obama.
Maggoty@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Or they happen in Africa so we don’t usually hear about them.
CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
I like big apes.
frickineh@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Gorilla? I feel like being super submissive and not making eye contact would probably keep it from tearing off my arms to use as drumsticks? I’m not a gorilla expert though, so anyone who knows more can feel free to tell me. Although I guess with a wolf, you could just climb a tree and be ok, depending on how long you have to stay. Either, I guess. I’m pretty convinced that I’ll die trying to pet a wild animal when the moron part of my brain tells me it’s friend-shaped, anyway, so whatever.
FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 6 months ago
You’re not completely wrong, but if safety is your concern then you should really be operating under the assumption that the animal will attack you. In that case you’ve chosen a 200 kg gorilla who can climb over a 40 kg wolf who can’t. Bears are actually the heavier of the three depending on race and gender, and some of them can climb while others cannot.
KISSmyOSFeddit@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Grizzlies can’t climb but if they want to get to you, they’ll just dig out the tree you’re on.
MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 6 months ago
I’m going Wolf personally. I might have a chance with a wolf, gorillas are stupid strong. No thanks.
ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
A single wolf is just a big dog. A gorilla can pick you up and tear you in half.
I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Really missed the opportunity to have the top bracket be “Lions” and “Tigers”
Drewelite@lemmynsfw.com 6 months ago
Lions, Tigers, and Bears, no man!
Starkstruck@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Wolf def the safest option. Most likely to leave you alone.
JackbyDev@programming.dev 6 months ago
We tamed them once, we can do it again!
no_comment@lemmy.world 6 months ago
KeenFlame@feddit.nu 6 months ago
Why would you want it to leave you alone?
Starkstruck@lemmy.world 6 months ago
So it doesn’t feel threatened and try attacking me. I thought that was fairly obvious.
MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 6 months ago
RIP Harambe. 😭
MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
A gorilla with a wolf tied to it’s back, riding a bear.
phorq@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
Isn’t that that survivalist dude that drinks piss? Bear Grilf?
MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
It could be, he’s a master of any environment, and I couldn’t ask for a better companion to be alone with in the woods.
RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
Apparently I’m trapped in Australia, which is the only plausible explanation for that type of abomination
RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 6 months ago
The other side of the bracket is all the cuddly ones.
gmtom@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I considered making the other side of the bracket, but figrured the posts would get annoying fast.
Also wolves and bears are cuddly??
Vespair@lemm.ee 6 months ago
Wolf. Not only do I think my chances are better, I’d also feel less bad about trying to fuck up a wolf if I had to
ItsMeSpez@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Considering there’s basically no chance of fucking up the gorilla, I don’t think you’d have to worry about the ethics of the situation.
Vespair@lemm.ee 6 months ago
I’ll admit “trying” was doing a lot of heavy-lifting in that sentence ;)
FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 6 months ago
Can men participate in the tourney, this time?
Wolf. It’s a singular wolf, so it honestly cannot beat me if it tried. Even if we assume the other two are more docile, all they need to do is try and I would be dead.
Shadowedcross@lemmy.world 6 months ago
You think you can take on a wolf? They aren’t chihuahuas you know.
JackbyDev@programming.dev 6 months ago
I know I can’t take on a gorilla. I might be able to take on a wolf lol.
Bertuccio@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Your chances of beating a wolf are low enough that you’d probably be better off with the quick death the other two would provide.
FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 6 months ago
I’ve dealt with wolves at the wildlife sanctuary before. They’re big stupid smelly dogs. If you can flex your arm real good they won’t be able to tear into you, and if you can put your weight on them you’ve already won.
Definitely don’t recommend it for people with brittle bones, or discord mods, but I’m jacked af bro.
daltotron@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Wolf. It’s a singular wolf, so it honestly cannot beat me if it tried. Even if we assume the other two are more docile, all they need to do is try and I would be dead.
lol at this
AeonFelis@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Definitely wolf. If I get trapped with a gorilla and some shots it to save me, humanity get will get so much negative karma on top of what we are still paying from 2016 and I won’t be able to live with the guilt.
Akasazh@feddit.nl 6 months ago
Even though it’s the most prolific killer of the animal kingdom, the winner of the competition turned out to be the mosquito.
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 6 months ago
My wife would probably pick the man over the mosquito. She hates those things because they always seem to seek her out.
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
wolf, considering they don’t fucking exist anymore (in the US at least, also im sure they still do, just not in significant number)
Also i don’t like gorillas, they can eat shit.
daltotron@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I thought they tried reintroducing wolves to yellowstone, no?
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
probably, no clue. Would be a pretty good environment for them though.
KeenFlame@feddit.nu 6 months ago
They exist
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
to my understanding they do exist, just in significantly less numbers than they used to, leading to the problem with deer populations that we have now, though i could very well be mistaken about that.
gmtom@lemmy.world 6 months ago
wolf, considering they don’t fucking exist anymore (in the US at least
As apposed to the famous North American Gorilla?
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
i know that was also part of why it was funny.
Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 6 months ago
[deleted]JustAnotherRando@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I think you’re confused. The men’s lib community is a progressive, feminist-supporting space focused on giving men an opportunity to discuss matters of vulnerability and struggle. They try to help people struggling with mental issues hard times, and discuss how to counter toxic masculinity type shit.
I’m not involved in the Lemmy community but I used to check out the Reddit one back when I still got on there. The toxic neckbeard shit that’s up in arms about the overblown man v bear shit is the MRA (“men’s rights”) group.tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 6 months ago
Men’s lib and men’s rights are vastly different groups
ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world 6 months ago
wut.
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
I say this as a man, get fucked neckbeards. Go cry to mommy, the only woman that’ll ever love you
i recommend you go read my post history.
Don’t ignore the schizophrenic shit i post, it’ll only piss you off more :)
Flughoernchen@feddit.de 6 months ago
The Tarzan kid part of me wants to say gorilla but the dog person in me would definitely choose the wolf. That’s a tough one.
Thcdenton@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I picked man over bear because man probably won’t eat you. But if gorilla is a choice, that wins. Gorilla is friend as long as you keep your head low and he knows he’s the boss. Also don’t suprise him.
ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world 6 months ago
because man probably won’t eat you.
that’s why I dumped my last boyfriend
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
he ate you? Damn, that’s rough.
Woozythebear@lemmy.world 6 months ago
The bear also isn’t going to rape you and I would say the chances of the bear eating you and the man eating you are the same.
Thcdenton@lemmy.world 6 months ago
You forgot to change accounts before posting again 🐻
GBU_28@lemm.ee 6 months ago
Bear detected
Atin@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Just make sure you have marshmallows
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 6 months ago
cancels surprise birthday party for Koko Jr
Kase@lemmy.world 6 months ago
To be clear, I’m not trying to get into a man v bear debate here. But, like, a man could still kill you, right? Is that better than being eaten? I mean, I guess it’s probably less likely. I’m no expert on bears or random forest men.
daltotron@lemmy.world 6 months ago
But, like, a man could still kill you, right? Is that better than being eaten?
I mean generally being eaten entails entrails leaking out, whereas getting killed could entail any number of things. Neck snap, choked out, slit throat, whatever. I dunno if your average idiot man is gonna be as proficient of a killer as a bear, even if they happen to be a murderer or like, just evil, right, so, I dunno. Kind of a toss up. Me personally, I would rather not have my guts spilled out, ribcage crushed, spine snapped, bones gnawed on while I’m still conscious, slowly lose blood and lose consciousness over the course of 30 minutes to an hour. I mean I guess theoretically a man could do those things too, but I dunno many men that could. Maybe like, the mike tyson of 40 years ago?
I guess the argument I’m making hinges on the idea that humans are generally bad at killing in a physiological sense, and their need to kind of, up themselves in the game means that they tend to get filtered into a bunch of more painless and efficient approaches relative to the kind of uncaring cruelty of nature more generally. But then I dunno, humans also have a capacity for needless cruelty and torture, so I’d also be betting my chances that I don’t get shafted and stuck with like, a super jacked serial killer that can torture me with their bare hands, which there’s probably only like 2 or 3 of in the world. Maybe more if you include government contracted ones.
Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social 6 months ago
Forrest like Gump or Forrest like Nathan Bedford?
udon@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Trick question, Wolf is a male surname.
Seraph@kbin.social 6 months ago
Wolf not wolves? Sure I can use a new pet I guess.
samus12345@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Run, Forrest, run!
WalrusDragonOnABike@lemmy.today 6 months ago
Is there gonna be a loser’s bracket for this tournament?
ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world 6 months ago
what are you doing out here alone, Moon-moon?
lowleveldata@programming.dev 6 months ago
What? But we can keep the fire running if we have 2 people…
Kase@lemmy.world 6 months ago
This takes me back to “gorilla, man, gun,” which was basically the baptist youth camp version of rock, paper, scissors. (It probably exists outside of that context, that’s just where I always played it shrug)
RandomVideos@programming.dev 6 months ago
I would choose wolves because i have experience with dogs which are close enough to wolves
I am inexperienced with gorillas or any other primate
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Wolf 100%. It’s without its pack and I’d have some chance to fight it off. A gorilla would tear me in half.
Willy@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
rabid coyote vs hungry tiger
1995ToyotaCorolla@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I’d pick wolf. They generally leave you alone and don’t want anything to do with you. I don’t know shit about gorillas
RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
Especially since it’s a single wolf. I don’t think I’d choose a pack over the others.
Atin@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Also, wolves are crap at climbing trees.