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PSA

⁨342⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨ObviouslyNotBanana@piefed.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://media.piefed.world/posts/hs/lG/hslGT8V8pVtPeTs.jpeg

source

Comments

Sort:hotnewtop
  • baggins@lemmy.ca ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    What is the charge?! Enjoying a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?

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    • dditty@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      What is the charge?! Eating Boofing a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?

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      • buycurious@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Get your hands off my penis anus!

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    • stupidcasey@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Sir, sir! mastication before masterbation.

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  • barnaclebutt@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Image

    Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me.

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  • FosterMolasses@leminal.space ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    With a pic of the perfect girth of spring rolls lmao

    (Also 69th comment 🤙)

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  • Derpenheim@lemmy.zip ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Fuckin Big Pharma, at it again

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    • Hupf@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Forbidden suppository

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  • Void@lemmings.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    First they came for the spring rolls…

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    • Una@europe.pub ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Actually, they first came for anal beads, chess scandal :3

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      • dditty@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        They also came for frozen potatoes

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      • LillyPip@lemmy.ca ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        You’re saying I should make anal beads from spring rolls?

        Way ahead of you.

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    • ieatpwns@lemmy.world ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Then I came for the spring rolls

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    • Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      And I said “Hey, I was stuffing those up my ass!! Get your own!”

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    • lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      And I stayed silent because I wasn’t a spring roll

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  • hardcoreufo@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Too late, please advise.

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    • WanderWisley@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Image

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  • First_Thunder@lemmy.zip ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Literally 1984

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    • anotherspinelessdem@lemmy.ml ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Yes that’s how many I’ve gotten up there (lifetime, of course. I’m not a freak).

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  • Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Patients are warning doctors to mind their own business

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  • bomberesque@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    What, do you think I’m going to put that in my MOUTH???!!

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  • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Why? Why shouldn’t I put a spring roll up me bum?

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    • gibmiser@lemmy.world ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Image

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      • davidagain@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Funniest meme of the day.

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    • Typhoon@lemmy.ca ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Because it offends everyone else at the Chinese buffet.

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    • simplejack@lemmy.world ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Because it means you have to poop out your mouth.

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      • outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        No i have an eating disorder.

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  • Gork@sopuli.xyz ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    You need spring rolls with flared bases for that.

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    • Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Nah, it’s fine. It’s digestible so you’ll just pass it out the other end if you lose hold of it.

      Image

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  • don@lemmy.ca ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    My spring rolls, my choice.

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    • Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Why so strict? Let loose a little, give the choice to put juicy Asian rolls up you butt to someone else …

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      • don@lemmy.ca ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        💢**MY FUCKING SPRING ROLLS, MY FUCKING CHOICE, GODDAMMIT!**💢

        (Much amgery stomping noises ~fading off into the distance~)

        [DOOR SLAMS VIOLENTLY, KNOCKING SEVERAL DECORATIVE DISHES FROM THEIR DISPLAY STANDS. END OF SCENE.]

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  • Bucky@okaythen.lol ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Are egg rolls still fair game though?

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    • outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Why wouldn’t they be?

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  • 0ops@piefed.zip ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Good to know, I was sitting on the fence about this. Funny enough, the doctor said I shouldn't be boofing fenceposts either, but I'll wait until there's a consensus on that, I think.

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  • FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Where else am I supposed to store them?

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  • Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    What about egg rolls?

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    • burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Well how else are men supposed to get pregnant? Gotta have an egg to get fertilized.

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    • workerONE@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      That’s okay

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      • Texas_Hangover@lemmy.radio ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Frozen? Or no?

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  • SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Image

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  • MudMan@fedia.io ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I mean... I'm trying to be snarky, but I'm finding it hard ot argue that it's bad advice.

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    • Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Other people in the restaurant?

      Me asking the delivery person to “feed” them to me?

      One to many springs in my bum?

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    • scytale@piefed.zip ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Only thing I can think of is a deep fried spring roll can be pretty sharp at the edges and can tear the delicate skin there.

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  • TrueStoryBob@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    You’re not my real dad, DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!

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  • dumbass@leminal.space ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Can’t have any fucking fun anymore, what’s next, I’m not allowed to shove croissants up my anus?

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  • davidagain@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    The only thing you should put in your anus is your elbow.

    No, wait, that’s ears.

    The only thing you should put in your anus is your ear.

    No, no, that’s still not right.

    The only think you should put in your anus is something with a flared base.*

    *If you’re worrying about whether your boyfriend’s penis has a flared base and you can’t find a tape measure, recall that most penises are not readily detachable, and most boyfriends have hips wider than their penis, so you’re in the clear.

    If you’re worried that this advice doesn’t apply simply because you don’t have a boyfriend, there’s an app for that.

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  • TriangleSpecialist@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Health and safety gone mad

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  • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    About 10 years ago, I went out at the beginning of the summer to buy a few fresh pool noodles, and couldn’t find them anywhere. It was that way all summer.

    The next summer, they were everywhere, but now they all had a tag or sticker attached, saying “Do not insert in rectum.”

    So there were no pool noodles for an entire summer, because some guy saw one, and couldn’t resist the compulsion to stick it up his ass.

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    • plyth@feddit.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Worse, he sued and was rewarded some form of compensation because some judge agreed that it is not obvious that pool noodles shouldn’t stuck up an ass.

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      • ryedaft@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Honestly, what right-thinking, red-blooded man doesn’t look at a pool noodle and go “You know what?”

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  • TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Sellouts.

    MAHA says veggies are important.

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  • Una@europe.pub ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Can I put anal beads during chess tournament?

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    • Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Only allowed now if the other end is in your opponent.

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  • HikingVet@lemmy.ca ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    AI or Stupid humans?

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  • salty_chief@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Shit it was at the entrance! Glad I was scrolling Lemmy with Elvis Can’t Help Falling in Love, playing in the background.

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  • Ypsilenna@lemmy.zip ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Awww, puts them back in the fridge

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  • Cruxifux@feddit.nl ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    What if I already did hypothetically what would I do if I had already done that hypothetically can someone help me hypothetically?

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    • Sergio@piefed.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      cylinder.

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  • Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Thanks to the new administration the Fierce Agents of Rectum Tenderisation (formerly Ass Secret Service), an untrained elite force of volunteers, can inspect the depths of your rectum without a warrant or notice.

    They try to be a pain in the ass to keep the country safe!

    (Not to be confused with Butt Patrol Agents)

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