Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me.
PSA
Submitted 14 hours ago by ObviouslyNotBanana@piefed.world to [deleted]
https://media.piefed.world/posts/hs/lG/hslGT8V8pVtPeTs.jpeg
Comments
barnaclebutt@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
FosterMolasses@leminal.space 4 hours ago
With a pic of the perfect girth of spring rolls lmao
(Also 69th comment 🤙)
Derpenheim@lemmy.zip 7 hours ago
Fuckin Big Pharma, at it again
Hupf@feddit.org 2 hours ago
Forbidden suppository
Void@lemmings.world 14 hours ago
First they came for the spring rolls…
Una@europe.pub 13 hours ago
Actually, they first came for anal beads, chess scandal :3
dditty@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 hours ago
They also came for frozen potatoes
LillyPip@lemmy.ca 13 hours ago
You’re saying I should make anal beads from spring rolls?
Way ahead of you.
ieatpwns@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
Then I came for the spring rolls
Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 13 hours ago
And I said “Hey, I was stuffing those up my ass!! Get your own!”
lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 hours ago
And I stayed silent because I wasn’t a spring roll
hardcoreufo@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
Too late, please advise.
WanderWisley@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
First_Thunder@lemmy.zip 14 hours ago
Literally 1984
anotherspinelessdem@lemmy.ml 4 hours ago
Yes that’s how many I’ve gotten up there (lifetime, of course. I’m not a freak).
Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 7 hours ago
Patients are warning doctors to mind their own business
bomberesque@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
What, do you think I’m going to put that in my MOUTH???!!
Kolanaki@pawb.social 14 hours ago
Why? Why shouldn’t I put a spring roll up me bum?
gibmiser@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
davidagain@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Funniest meme of the day.
Typhoon@lemmy.ca 12 hours ago
Because it offends everyone else at the Chinese buffet.
simplejack@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
Because it means you have to poop out your mouth.
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 hours ago
No i have an eating disorder.
Gork@sopuli.xyz 12 hours ago
You need spring rolls with flared bases for that.
Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 hours ago
don@lemmy.ca 14 hours ago
My spring rolls, my choice.
Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 13 hours ago
Why so strict? Let loose a little, give the choice to put juicy Asian rolls up you butt to someone else …
don@lemmy.ca 12 hours ago
💢**MY FUCKING SPRING ROLLS, MY FUCKING CHOICE, GODDAMMIT!**💢
(Much amgery stomping noises ~fading off into the distance~)
[DOOR SLAMS VIOLENTLY, KNOCKING SEVERAL DECORATIVE DISHES FROM THEIR DISPLAY STANDS. END OF SCENE.]
Bucky@okaythen.lol 12 hours ago
Are egg rolls still fair game though?
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 hours ago
Why wouldn’t they be?
0ops@piefed.zip 11 hours ago
Good to know, I was sitting on the fence about this. Funny enough, the doctor said I shouldn't be boofing fenceposts either, but I'll wait until there's a consensus on that, I think.
FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 7 hours ago
Where else am I supposed to store them?
Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 10 hours ago
What about egg rolls?
burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de 3 hours ago
Well how else are men supposed to get pregnant? Gotta have an egg to get fertilized.
SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 hours ago
MudMan@fedia.io 14 hours ago
I mean... I'm trying to be snarky, but I'm finding it hard ot argue that it's bad advice.
Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 13 hours ago
Other people in the restaurant?
Me asking the delivery person to “feed” them to me?
One to many springs in my bum?
scytale@piefed.zip 9 hours ago
Only thing I can think of is a deep fried spring roll can be pretty sharp at the edges and can tear the delicate skin there.
TrueStoryBob@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
You’re not my real dad, DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!
dumbass@leminal.space 7 hours ago
Can’t have any fucking fun anymore, what’s next, I’m not allowed to shove croissants up my anus?
davidagain@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
The only thing you should put in your anus is your elbow.
No, wait, that’s ears.
The only thing you should put in your anus is your ear.
No, no, that’s still not right.
The only think you should put in your anus is something with a flared base.*
*If you’re worrying about whether your boyfriend’s penis has a flared base and you can’t find a tape measure, recall that most penises are not readily detachable, and most boyfriends have hips wider than their penis, so you’re in the clear.
If you’re worried that this advice doesn’t apply simply because you don’t have a boyfriend, there’s an app for that.
TriangleSpecialist@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
Health and safety gone mad
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 8 hours ago
About 10 years ago, I went out at the beginning of the summer to buy a few fresh pool noodles, and couldn’t find them anywhere. It was that way all summer.
The next summer, they were everywhere, but now they all had a tag or sticker attached, saying “Do not insert in rectum.”
So there were no pool noodles for an entire summer, because some guy saw one, and couldn’t resist the compulsion to stick it up his ass.
plyth@feddit.org 4 hours ago
Worse, he sued and was rewarded some form of compensation because some judge agreed that it is not obvious that pool noodles shouldn’t stuck up an ass.
ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 2 hours ago
Honestly, what right-thinking, red-blooded man doesn’t look at a pool noodle and go “You know what?”
TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
Sellouts.
MAHA says veggies are important.
Una@europe.pub 13 hours ago
Can I put anal beads during chess tournament?
Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 13 hours ago
Only allowed now if the other end is in your opponent.
HikingVet@lemmy.ca 14 hours ago
AI or Stupid humans?
salty_chief@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
Shit it was at the entrance! Glad I was scrolling Lemmy with Elvis Can’t Help Falling in Love, playing in the background.
Ypsilenna@lemmy.zip 12 hours ago
Awww, puts them back in the fridge
Cruxifux@feddit.nl 12 hours ago
What if I already did hypothetically what would I do if I had already done that hypothetically can someone help me hypothetically?
Sergio@piefed.social 11 hours ago
cylinder.
Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 14 hours ago
Thanks to the new administration the Fierce Agents of Rectum Tenderisation (formerly Ass Secret Service), an untrained elite force of volunteers, can inspect the depths of your rectum without a warrant or notice.
They try to be a pain in the ass to keep the country safe!
(Not to be confused with Butt Patrol Agents)
baggins@lemmy.ca 14 hours ago
What is the charge?! Enjoying a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?
dditty@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 hours ago
buycurious@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
Get your hands off my
penisanus!stupidcasey@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
Sir, sir! mastication before masterbation.