Buy lifelong supply of wine corks.
A very curious situation indeed
Submitted 3 weeks ago by bergetfew@sopuli.xyz to [deleted]
https://sopuli.xyz/pictrs/image/ca3bcfdd-cf41-4412-93df-a27b9408b96b.webp
Comments
TimeNaan@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
shneancy@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
without a base without a trace
just get yourself a lifetime supply of buttplugs like a responsible aduly
Havald@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
What I can’t see can’t hurt me
I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Rooskie91@discuss.online 3 weeks ago
Get an only fans page and cash in on people’s weird fetishes.
brown567@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Rapidly dig a small hole in the ground and resolve to place a donkey in it. This is now my “ass hole”
Then run away as fast as possible to survive the impending insect plague
gratux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Butt plug
hoch@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
E-stim version doubles as a bug zapper
thespcicifcocean@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
do you really need the threat of butthole bugs to wear a butt plug though?
Derpenheim@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Try not to finish too quickly
WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
People like you are what makes the world a unique and beautiful place.
GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
I think your username is more appropriate here
DeceasedPassenger@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Immediately kill myself as quick as possible. That’s genuinely one of my worst fears is being entered by a bug. I have an obsessive habit of wiping the inside/underneath the lip of the toilet every time I use it just in case there could be a spider. There has never been a spider. Yet I’m compelled to do it every single time.
Cordyceps@sopuli.xyz 3 weeks ago
Lucky you, I just imagine one of those hawaiian centipedes snuggly chilling there and looking for a home
BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
Glue a gecko to my taint?
HowAbt2day@futurology.today 3 weeks ago
What part of the gecko are gonna glue to that dainty taint?
ftbd@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
I’ve seen so many of these, I forgot what the guy actually looks like
Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I remember him looking basically like an IASIP character who might try to turn Mac straight and ruin his marriage in the attempt
Adulated_Aspersion@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Sit back, relax, and enjoy myself.
MrShankles@reddthat.com 3 weeks ago
Open wide
tino@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Fight back. Eat chili.
FQQD@lemmy.ohaa.xyz 3 weeks ago
Open wide
MrShankles@reddthat.com 3 weeks ago
Damn, I just responded to a comment with the exact same thing. Great minds I guess
AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Im always that guy but i would go to some kind of official or something so they csn investigate it because thats some freaky shit. Also to not ruin the whole fucking ecosystem of earth id guess theres a range on it? Thats what i would try to figure out so i can keep em out. Of course if i dont act in time and/or fail to accomplish my mission to keep em out of my ass i would just violently fucking kill myself. Its not worth it to live with fucking bugs in your ass.
OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Well, enough insects out there are venomous/poisonous so you probably wouldn’t survive long anyway.
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Formiphilia is like the worst fetish…🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮
monogram@feddit.nl 3 weeks ago
Buy a dilator
loomy@lemy.lol 3 weeks ago
obv die
shalafi@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Station my chameleon by my booty and prepare to shoot myself in the face.
Imagine every insect that can walk, crawl, or fly bombarding your dwelling. Fuck it, throw arachnids in there as well. They will find a way in, you will be covered head-to-toe in swarming insects of 1,000 varieties.
Depending on where you live, you got a hour, maybe a whole day. But they’ll eventually break the windows and doors. At that time, your ass will belong to them.
In other news, I’m considering a new horror short.
db2@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
A great deal of what we’d call insects outside of the scientific community are so small you can either barely see them or can’t see them at all unaided. The larger bugs would be getting sloppy seconds.
peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Start by switching from boxers to briefs.
kshade@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Die for a good cause to spare Earth from the immediate ecological collapse of all bugs going to one place.
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
Enjoy my last day on earth with a citronella candle up my ass
Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I choked on my coffee when this scrolled on screen.
Soapbox@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
I guess I’m going to live in a beekeeper suit treated with permethrin.
dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
Start an only fans, some freaks out there and I’m finna get rich
Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Take a looong bath.
Insects can’t survive under water
beebarfbadger@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
If I may introduce: your newest nightmare en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_diving_beetle
I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Wear pants.
Yareckt@lemmynsfw.com 3 weeks ago
Maybe I can keep riding trains until most of them have died from exhaustion.
halvar@lemy.lol 3 weeks ago
who needs insects up their assholes i got fucking mosquitoes trying to kill me just here
Gates9@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Feral hogs
SassyRamen@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
First, I save this meme to my phone.
Second, I attempt to legally enter the US.
Third, I have all my rights revoked and get kidnapped by ICE.
Fourth, I wait and watch as the insects all get eaten before they can get to me.
See, being detained by Trump and his lizard people doesn’t have to be all bad.