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Vampires are from Jersey

⁨829⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨bees@sh.itjust.works⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/98edc1ef-b630-4e37-a0f0-d8d40dd84d98.jpeg

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Comments

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  • ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Beach.

    There’s no need to call me names, buddy

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    • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I would watch a sitcom about the most unlucky vampire who still manages to survive somehow.

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      • ThePantser@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        What we do in the shadows

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  • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Off topic, but it paints a grisly picture of humanity that all vampires have higher standards for consent than many humans.

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    • hansolo@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Seriously.

      One vampire Dev pops “by clicking agree, you consent to vampires entering your home.” Into line 57842368 of the Instagram/FB TOS and suddenly it’s a feeding frenzy…

      …How does one seek a script to Black Mirror?

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      • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Dystopian technofeudalist vampire is now one of my favorite new tropes. Thank you.

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      • idiomaddict@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Plus, there’s a (kind of) precedent. All you’d have to do is plan it for April fool’s day.

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    • qarbone@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      A “standard” implies it’s a societal norm they’re participating in, rather than a supernatural compulsion they’re restricted by.

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      • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        That’s a good point. Perhaps they’re instead restricted by a social code of honor and limited empathy. Like they could come in against your will, but most won’t because it’s a shameful violation of vampire ethics, and they would feel bad about it.

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    • kamenlady@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I’m beginning to realise that even stones may have higher standards for consent than humans.

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      • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        For the sake of us all, I hope you’re wrong, but history being what it has been, I’m having trouble coming up with a counterargument.

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    • frog_brawler@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      That’s because vampires are fictional.

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      • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        You’re right, of course, but you should still see the comment about Bryan Johnson elsewhere in this thread, if you haven’t already.

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  • Tattorack@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Except it doesn’t work that way. It’s not about wordplay, but the esoteric power of being explicitly invited.

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    • Stitch0815@feddit.org ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      But it does work that way because vamipres are made up and so are the rules

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      • humorlessrepost@lemmy.world ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Counterpoint: Buffy (the series, not the movie, not the comic) is the only true vampire canon, and everything else is fanfic, and older stuff is from future time travelers writing fanfic.

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  • conditional_soup@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Californians: “idk, he just kept asking and I kept saying, like, the beach? The coast? The seaside? Eventually he just stormed off in a huff, but, yeah, no, super weird guy. I still don’t know what he wanted.”

    Context: as long as I’ve been on the west coast, I’ve literally never heard anyone call it the shore.

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    • frog_brawler@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Lived in FL for 28 years and the last time I heard it called the shore was in Ocean City, MD

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      • SynopsisTantilize@lemm.ee ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Yea we call our side the Eastern Shore.

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    • MrShankles@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Lmao, I was having the same thought. “Shore” wouldn’t have crossed my mind unless I’m talking about Gulf Shores. And that’s a beach town in my mind. Hell, I grew up close enough to Jersey and have lived near the Gulf of Mexico for over 20 years; “shore” just isn’t in my vocab like that

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  • VolumetricShitCompressor@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    How does the lore work? Does the vampire need to hear the right thing or does the person need to mean the right thing?

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    • makyo@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      The whole thing is vampire propaganda to make the general population feel more safe

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      • VolumetricShitCompressor@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Big Blood is playing us for fools

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    • samus12345@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      If I were making the rules, intent would be what mattered.

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      • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Otherwise vampires would be getting invited in because some word means “enter” or whatever in a different language.

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  • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Vampires are from Staten Island and Noo Yawk Citttttaaaaaay.

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    • Maalus@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Tucson Arizonia

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      • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        No they’re just regular human bartenders there.

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      • SynopsisTantilize@lemm.ee ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        No Jackie Daytona is a normal human from Tucson Arizoniia you fool.

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    • name_NULL111653@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      A lot of us in NOLA, too! And Denver for some reason…

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  • klemptor@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Doesn’t matter if you let them in. Nothing stopping them from setting your house on fire and making you come out.

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    • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Vampires stopped existing when a wild hermit man once declared that the entire outside was their home.

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    • Zron@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Ah, the Harry Dresden Assassination technique

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  • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    The beach. Bitch.

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    • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Coast

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      • Iheartcheese@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Coast on inside? Don’t mind if i do!

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  • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I’m pretty sure the magic preventing a vampire from entering without permission would not be overcome so easily.

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    • peteypete420@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Its not magic if its real.

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  • owl@infosec.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    me: coast?
    vampire: Mhm -_- How would you pronouce the first three letters of “yesterday” ^may i come in^

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    • peteypete420@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Well the first letter is pronounced like the word why. The next one, is like the second name of rapper easy e. Now that third letter, thats a real fun pronunciation. How familiar are you with the 18th president of the USA?

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  • ininewcrow@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    If vampires are sticking to a code of ethics and honour to enter your house than this wouldn’t work

    You are answering a question with an answer … not making a verbal contract

    You are making a statement … not giving permission

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    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      haha! yeah!

      like who doesn’t know what a sure is ᵐᵃʸ ᴵ ᶜᵒᵐᵉ ᶦⁿ?

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      • HikingVet@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Are you a cop? Because I don’t answer questions without legal representation…

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  • match@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    “A Beatles song, XXXterday.”

    Yes No

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    • _stranger_@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Three characters you say.

      No!terday

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  • BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    a sphincter says what?

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  • toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    /c/wellthatsucks

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  • ICastFist@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Wet sand

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  • Dozzi92@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I’m from Jersey (New). I go down the shore, and while down the shore I go to the beach. This is how it’s always been and always will be (until the shore comes up to me because we’ve destroyed the environment)!

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    • SynopsisTantilize@lemm.ee ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Maryland here. The shore isn’t the ocean or beach. It’s the shore.

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  • iAvicenna@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    how is the answer to this yes?

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    • stevestevesteve@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Shore can sound like “sure”

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  • Godric@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Sinners was so fucking good

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  • NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Unexpected Bergerac.

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