You’re supposed to use baby talk with them from about 15 years old and until they’re 18, to really piss them off.
Get good.
Submitted 6 months ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/2ca0a0d3-80e0-4148-96b4-c36aab5f0a49.jpeg
Comments
Aceticon@lemmy.world 6 months ago
bitjunkie@lemmy.world 6 months ago
The little shits have almost certainly done something to deserve it
cyborganism@lemmy.ca 6 months ago
This sounds like something from LinkedIn.
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 6 months ago
If someone’s toddler starts talking about how AI is a paradigm shift I’m going to dropkick it
thanks_shakey_snake@lemmy.ca 6 months ago
At least the toddler has an excuse for parroting an idea that has virtually no semantic meaning to them-- That’s what toddlers do. The venture capitalists though…
cyborganism@lemmy.ca 6 months ago
😂😂😂
Agent641@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I have taught my kids to communicate with me solely via email, or via their lawyers.
The secret ingredient is unchecked alcoholism and rampant psychological abuse.
(/s, I don’t even have kids)
wolfpack86@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Denying their existence is totally on-brand
NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I have taught my kids to communicate with me entirely in Morse code via blinking.
It’s perfect as it’s nigh impossible to be interrupted, and back-talk doesn’t matter because they look too stupid to even get upset about.
LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Not sure why this triggered a snarky response unless Ted is just waving a monkey puppet for internet points. Talking normally to your kids isn’t rocket science, and it’s not stereotypical yuppies desperate to get their gifted darlings into AP class. Little kids can handle normal speech just fine, so why use baby talk?
Echinoderm@aussie.zone 6 months ago
It really depends on the kid and the complexity of the message. Young kids are still learning the intricacies of the language and building a vocabulary. Not talking down to them helps build those skills up. But at the end of the day, if the message is not getting across, it’s the fault of the communicator.
Plus it’s an annoying flex to say “see how amazing my kid is? It’s all because of me!” Some kids just pick up language easier, some kids sleep all the way through the night earlier, some kids toilet train easier, etc. Usually it’s better for parents to quietly take the little victory rather than treat it as a reflection of their amazing parenting skills.
wolfpack86@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Exactly there’s a difference between baby talk and using age reasonable vocabulary.
You don’t need to ask a 3 year old why they are being disobedient. But it’s perfectly reasonable to ask why they “aren’t doing what you asked them to do”.
Those are all different from why u no lissen bebe
fosho@lemmy.ca 6 months ago
regardless of a child’s inherent language skills I would argue that it’s a detriment to baby talk to them. surely the earlier they receive regular communication the sooner they are going to learn it.
SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 6 months ago
Can’t expect nerds to have the social intelligence to understand that.
kromem@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Because there’s a ton of research that we adapted to do it for good reasons:
Infants between 6 and 8 months of age displayed a robust and distinct preference for speech with resonances specifying a vocal tract that is similar in size and length to their own. This finding, together with data indicating that this preference is not present in younger infants and appears to increase with age, suggests that nascent knowledge of the motor schema of the vocal tract may play a role in shaping this perceptual bias, lending support to current models of speech development.
Stanford psychologist Michael Frank and collaborators conducted the largest ever experimental study of baby talk and found that infants respond better to baby talk versus normal adult chatter.
TL;DR: Top parents are actually harming their kids’ developmental process by being snobs about it.
LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 6 months ago
You can also just talk normally to your kids without being a snob about anything.
WhatYouNeed@lemmy.world 6 months ago
We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o’clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out. When we got home, out Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!
SOB_Van_Owen@lemm.ee 6 months ago
Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o’clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.
Honytawk@lemmy.zip 6 months ago
I had to roll a boulder to the top of a mountain each day. And at the top, my liver would get eaten by an eagle. Afterwards the boulder would roll down and I had to start my work all over again.
But what do I know, I only see shadows on a cave wall.
Randelung@lemmy.world 6 months ago
You try telling that to the young people today, and they wouldn’t believe you!
MeowZedong@lemmygrad.ml 6 months ago
Wow, you were lucky! I grew up only knowing one type of knife because that’s all my dad could afford. Imagine growing up in a house where the whole family had to share one knife for both bread and poop!
zanyllama52@infosec.pub 6 months ago
According to Alfred Matthew Yankovic:
_There were seventy three of us living in a cardboard box. All I got for Christmas was a lousy bag of rocks. Every night for dinner, we had a big ol' chunk of dirt. If we were really good, we didn't get dessert._
Threeme2189@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
When I was your aaaaaaaage!
Aceticon@lemmy.world 6 months ago
You had a cardboard box?!
Luxury!
When I was young …
CuriousRefugee@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
Oh wow, deep cut. I had that buried somewhere in the
WhatYouNeed@lemmy.world 6 months ago
We were so poor, we use to get grandad around to decorate our Christmas tree by sneezing snot onto it.
“Bit more on this side, grandad!”
Threeme2189@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
Luxury.
Debs@lemmy.zip 6 months ago
Here I am just crying back at my baby
Slovene@feddit.nl 6 months ago
You mean like? m.youtube.com/watch?v=NP7SfpcsVhE
MehBlah@lemmy.world 6 months ago
If you treat your kids like an adult they grow up to be one. We see plenty of example of people who are of legal age acting like children. Now you know why.
TriflingToad@lemmy.world 6 months ago
It definitely works. They’ll grow up way faster. Like they’ll be out of your life 15 YEARS faster!
When my toddler son hit his sister, instead of giving him a ‘talking to’ like the parinting book suggested, I just called the cops. Now he’s in federal prison all on his own! I’m so proud of him. 🥰
Hikermick@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I avoid the baby talk with my nieces and nephews after they get past one year old. My oldest nephew said I’m his favorite because I don’t talk down to him
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 6 months ago
laughs in condescending to children at a level they just don’t comprehend
bluewing@lemm.ee 6 months ago
It’s one thing to use baby talk with an infant, (hence the baby talk moniker), and another to speak that way to a child that is actually learning to form words and construct a sentence.
Use whatever voice you prefer with your pets. Dogs actually enjoy the soft sounds of baby talk. A bit of brilliant manipulation of humans by the dogs.
Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 6 months ago
i’m pretty sure baby talk came about in the first place because it works, it genuinely helps infants develop and as you say pets generally enjoy it, i think the high pitch is easier for them to hear?
bluewing@lemm.ee 6 months ago
I won’t argue with your thought. I’m certainly no accredited expert either, just a dad that, along with my wife, raise 4 daughters and pets - mostly working hunting dogs.
My take is that baby talk is impossible to do in a loud and angry voice. And is always done in a soft and gentle tone. I have noticed that when training dogs, I’m a fan of Spaniels, that if you are speaking in a loud voice and that has angry tones, they will start to separate from you and watch you closely. Because ain’t no one wants to get yelled at. It’s kind of similar to loud sharp barking I suppose. Cats though, are generally arse holes and just don’t care…
When our Daughters were newborns, they started to make just sounds after about a month. So baby talk was was pretty much just making intelligible sounds back at them in a soft and soothing tone. As they started to actually learn and use “real” words, less baby talk and far more normal speech is used by parents I think. But children are also smart enough to know the different between the baby talk when playing peek-a-boo with daddy and then need for normal speech at other times.
I certainly don’t see baby talk to infants and small children as an issue except in rare disfunctional family situations.
JamesStallion@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
Meh, Adam is obnoxious but correct
Ledivin@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Correct but obviously exaggerating. I’d love to hear his not-quite-2-year-old daughter “using” 4-syllable words 🙄
bleistift2@sopuli.xyz 6 months ago
I’m not a wordologist. Do words become harder to say when they’re longer? I mean, alalalalalong has 6 syllables.
Tyfud@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I mean, California, and other states, are 4 syllable words.
LurkyLoo@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Obnoxious, but also NOT correct. As another poster pointed out baby talk does serve a purpose in language development, and is a pretty universal part of child rearing. It’s not some recent cultural phenomenon that’s holding people bad from their full potential (or whatever BS this person is trying to imply). Using big words or skipping the baby talk stage doesn’t lead to more rapid or better development.
fosho@lemmy.ca 6 months ago
that was just, like, their opinion, man
kromem@lemmy.world 6 months ago
taiyang@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Two notes from my actual coursework in education and psych; first, baby talk exists for a reason but it’s the singasong voice that matters most, especially when they’re picking up sounds. The funny thing there is you can say absolutely terrible things in a singasong voice and they will love it and remember it better.
Second, the arse in the example isn’t actually all the way wrong, using vocabulary is important especially in that second and third year. I forget the author but there’s some studies that show preschool vocabulary is directly related to parental education and they found it’s because of the vocab the parents use. We’re taking tens of thousands more words learned. Too bad I can’t remember the author, just that it was four letters (and since leaving academia, my zotero is long gone).
Lorindol@sopuli.xyz 6 months ago
You are correct. I majored in educational psychology and this language development in children has always been a special interest of mine.
Baby talk is like beacon to the baby, it tells them that “This is for YOU, pay attention!”. The baby hears and learns the intonations, patterns and the rhythms of the language. It’s importance cannot be downplayed.
A toddler can learn ~50 new words every day, so using normal speech is naturally important as well. But there is no need to try to overdo it. The mind of a small child is a massively powerful and superfocused “learning machine”, although it isn’t often apparent in their behaviour ;)
Reading to children is especially beneficial to language development. It enriches the vocabulary and introduces common patterns and rhythms of expression. And the pictures in books help to create connections between ideas and words.
The pace of language development is highly individual and forcing it is most likely useless. Children will learn what they can, at their own pace.
Every one of my own children were able to use polynomial sentences and past and future tenses before they were three. We never tried to accelerate their learning in any way, they just picked it up. On the other hand, my friend’s kid did the normal baby talk phase and then remained completely mute until the age of four. One day he just opened up and said to her mom in a clear voice: “Mom, could you give me some milk, I’m thirsty.” And he spoke normally ever since.
One advantage of quick language development is it’s effect on memory. A child that learns complex language skills early is more likely to form lasting memories of their early childhood. It may be that the memories can be stored more effectively and recalled more easily when the child is able to bind the experiences to words that can be used to express them.
This is a very fascinating subject.
Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 6 months ago
Me, a chinese that only use one syllable word for my first 6 years: ._.
tetris11@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
Ma?
filtoid@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
I’d never really thought about until now, but do Chinese (specifically mandarin speaking) 3 year olds use Ma in place of the English speaking equivalent of “why” (repeated ad nauseum until the adult being questioned snaps!)?
Wilzax@lemmy.world 6 months ago
As with most advice regarding early childhood development, your mileage may vary.
NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 6 months ago
I was non-verbal for almost the first five years, so good luck with that mister “parent of the year”.
daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
I don’t do baby talk because I just don’t like it. Not to babies not to animals.
I do find baby talk irritating, but to each their own. As long as they don’t say anything to me for no baby talking I won’t say anything for those who baby talk.
Rekorse@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
I always thought baby talk was just to get the baby to laugh at something silly.
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 6 months ago
I don’t either and I can say from my experience my nieces and nephews thought I was mean when they were little because everyone else did talk to them in baby voice. I even asked their parents if I had done something to scare them or hurt their feelings and they couldn’t think of anything and I was never around without their parents there. They grew out of it but it kind of sucked for a while.
RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Well, I’m 42, and talking outloud exhausts me.
bluewing@lemm.ee 6 months ago
Having been a teacher for a few years, yes talking all day loud enough to be heard over a classroom is very tiring. But I tend to have a voice that is powerful and carries well.
Even though I’m retired, my Wife still asks me to “Use your inside voice please” sometimes.
Etterra@lemmy.world 6 months ago
My cousin does the “no baby talk” things and it has pretty good results. Their kids are sharp, but of course not in a Twittiot way. Just in a “get good grades and communicate coherently” way.
moakley@lemmy.world 6 months ago
My wife and I do the same, and the results have been great. An old friend of mine visited me and met my daughter for the first time when she was two and a half, and she just walks right up to him and says, “Hello. My name is _____. It’s very nice to meet you.”
When my current two-year-old is in a bad mood, we’ll ask him if he’s being a curmudgeon, and he’ll say “No, I’m not being a curmudgeon.” They speak in full sentences because my wife and I speak in full sentences. They use big words because we use big words.
On the other hand my daughter is five now and still thinks it’s pronounced “breafixt” instead of “breakfast”, and we don’t correct her because it’s adorable. So we still have fun with it.
I don’t think any of this means they’re geniuses or are guaranteed success later in life or anything. They’re probably both gifted, but that just means they’re a couple years ahead. A four-year-old who talks like a six-year-old is a great parlor trick, but a twenty-year-old talking like a twenty-two-year-old isn’t going to give them a big leg up. That’s why I like to get all my bragging in now.
dohpaz42@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I baby talked my kids (now it’s Brain Rot). I also talk to them like an adult. I’ve always encouraged them to ask questions when they don’t understand something. My 9-year-old is not shy about stopping mid-conversation and asking what a word or phrase means.
JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I’m in Malaysia. Our politicians and a good segment of our adults encourage this kind of chat, esp during the lockdown, for fear of offending the spouse. They call it the ‘doraemon voice’ and it’s as annoying as it sounds.
barsoap@lemm.ee 6 months ago
Right idea, wrong implementation. Try both making only cat noises.
BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 6 months ago
Damn
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 6 months ago
ted was triggered
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Once they become teenagers, they mostly communicate through grunts and whines regardless.
Tabooki@lemm.ee 6 months ago
Our 2 year old granddaughter carries on full conversations. Your kid is behind. Lol
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
I’m told I was speaking full sentences by my first birthday , so, tell your kid I said “get gud scrub.”
ReplicantBatty@lemmy.one 6 months ago
I speak to my dog in complete sentences which was a mistake because now she knows every synonym for park, walk, treats, and any time we’re referring to her even if we just say ‘her,’ ‘it,’ or ‘the hound.’ She even learned that any time we spell a word it’s related to something she likes and she goes bonkers.
Rentlar@lemmy.ca 6 months ago
“They’re deliberately trying not to look like they’re talking about me!”
“They must be talking about me!”
BlueLineBae@midwest.social 6 months ago
We had a dog once that was super smart and would learn what different words meant very rapidly. I’d say with most dogs I’ve had, you can go most of their life and they’ll maybe learn 2-3 different words for “dinner” and you can use other words if you’re trying not to excite them too much. But this dog I swear near the end of her life we would have to say ridiculous things around her like “Did you put the K9 cereal in the receptacle?” because she had learned just about every other basic way to say “did you feed the dog?”.
ReplicantBatty@lemmy.one 6 months ago
It takes her only 2-3 repetitions to learn a new word, it’s wild. She’s super clever but also the doofiest dog I’ve ever seen, it’s hilarious
Hikermick@lemmy.world 6 months ago
With dogs i think the inflection in your speech is what they pick up on more so than the actual word. Same goes for spelling something out. Next time try singing it
Maggoty@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Not OP, but my dog will pick up on singing it too. ymmv because she’s very smart.