I look like one who would taxidermied those
Badgers
Submitted 1 year ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/1e77854a-cd09-497f-801d-ec687b88a1cc.jpeg
Comments
humblebun@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 1 year ago
JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 1 year ago
JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Reality is that they’ll both kill you. European badgers are just more classy about it.
Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 1 year ago
“oh dear oh dear i’m so sorry about this, i really am.”
dyathinkhesaurus@lemmy.world 1 year ago
That sounds more like a Canadian badger
JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 1 year ago
European badger will poison your tea. American badger will mount your freshly-severed head above his oversize fireplace.
CptOblivius@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Brother in law had a huge wolf dog. The kind that can put it’s paws on your shoulders and look at you face to face. Massive. He got in a tussel with a badger and got tore up, took two weeks to heal. Then took off and came back with a 40 lbs badger in his mouth. Overall a 40 lbs meth badger = 150 lbs wolf dog.
dyathinkhesaurus@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Was it the same badger?
bluewing@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Badger Boogaloo 2 - Payback is a Bitch.
dessimbelackis@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Dog had a bone to pick with that badger
Nounka@lemmy.world 1 year ago
That was a good boy
lolcatnip@reddthat.com 1 year ago
Badgers? We don’t need no stinking badgers!
ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Mushroom mushroom.
FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Honey badgers will fuck up your shit simply because it was there.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 1 year ago
could one say, they don’t give a shit?
Worx@lemmynsfw.com 1 year ago
I’ve witnessed a European badger stand up to a golden retriever much bigger than it barking and growling aggressively in its face and the badger stood its ground. I don’t know if it was too scared to turn away or if it genuinely wanted to fight, but it was brave AF either way. (also I’ve never seen such a clean badger, but tbf most examples I see are dead on the road :/ )
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
Australian badgers are half this size, have no teeth at all, but can project venom 50ft from a gland in their nostril. The venom is completely harmless to humans, however it soaks into the skin and causes a pheromone to be emitted from the lungs such that when you are asleep, it attracts 14 different species of deadly venomous spiders that are attracted to your airway from up to a 4km radius.
Zagorath@aussie.zone 1 year ago
This is all true but it’s missing a key detail. The Australian badger is actually completely unrelated to the European and American badgers (which are mustelids). The Australian badger is a marsupial most closely related to the Tasmanian devil.
Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 1 year ago
I’m pretty sure you made this up, so i believe it completely.
CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 year ago
I don’t want to know if this is true or not. Nobody look it up.
Neon@lemmy.world 1 year ago
You had me in the first half
Etterra@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Those are the ones related to drop bears, right? I mean they’ve gotta be.
Im_old@lemmy.world 1 year ago
That’s worse. So much worse. “I won’t kill you but you’ll wish I did”
doingthestuff@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Dammit is this how we got the Lion & Wardrobe and such?
Zoboomafoo@slrpnk.net 1 year ago
90% of the time Euro badgers do that
10% of the time they scream “Eulalia!” and tear you limb from limb
dessimbelackis@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Or split your skull with a halberd
CommissarVulpin@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Is there a Redwall community? I’m tempted to make one but I have no idea how
Zoboomafoo@slrpnk.net 1 year ago
Not that I know of, go for it (idk how to make one either)
Daikusa@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Redwallposting
sploosh@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I just wat a seat at the table for one of their feasts.
Z_Poster365@hexbear.net 1 year ago
European badgers would defend their mountain fortress from a weasel warlord
SpikesOtherDog@ani.social 1 year ago
Ugh. Searats again? Didn’t we just send them packing one book ago?
xorollo@leminal.space 1 year ago
honey badger don’t care
DacoTaco@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I love this meme, and nearly commented it myself to the top comment, but i learned an american badger != a honey badger :(
xorollo@leminal.space 1 year ago
Lol, dang. TIL. I almost googled it, but I’m happier learning it vicariously through you. Takes some of the brunt of the blow.
danekrae@lemmy.world 1 year ago
When I was a child, I was told that people used to put things like twigs in their boots, so the European badger would let go, when they heard the “leg break”.
Though I doubted it even then.
witty_username@feddit.nl 1 year ago
But the American badger turns out to just want to drink a beer and talk about sports whereas the European badger, after having sat you down for some tea and buttered crumpets, reveals itself to be a racist eugenicist
Etterra@lemmy.world 1 year ago
No dude, you’re thinking of the other kind of British. I’m pretty sure their badgers are related to the homosapiens poulus aggressor, more commonly known as “football hooligans” to the locals.
Whorehoarder@lemmynsfw.com 1 year ago
Racisto? Europians? What an absolutely outrageous accusation. Badgers on
UlyssesT@hexbear.net 1 year ago
Don’t ask the le posh civil gentlesir Euro badger about their opinion of Romani people. frothingfash
Adkml@hexbear.net 1 year ago
“It’s not racist because it’s true, they really should be exterminated.”
lord_ryvan@ttrpg.network 1 year ago
TBH, “reveals itself by shivving you anyway” is probably closer to the truth with Brittons and their tea.
dyathinkhesaurus@lemmy.world 1 year ago
American badger is a wolverine? Genuine question.
ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
dyathinkhesaurus@lemmy.world 1 year ago
😲
ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Ah, a family sized meth weasel.
Canopyflyer@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Wisconsinite here where the badger is native and the mascot for the University of Wisconsin is the Badger.
This meme is inaccurate.
The American Badger will also remove your kidneys and sell them on the black market as well, to support their meth habit.
Cenzorrll@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I’m in new mexico and saw a badger crossing the road while I was driving to work. It stopped in the middle of the road, turned towards me and waited, like it was deciding whether or not to fuck up the large metal thing coming towards it. Then slowly turned and continued on it’s way when it decided I wasn’t worth it. No fear whatsoever.
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 1 year ago
I had a huge buck do that to me once. It was like 3am and the thing just casually walked out into the road in front of my truck and looked at me like “…what?”
BakerBagel@midwest.social 1 year ago
The badger moniker comes from lead miners that initially settled the Wisconsin territory. They often didn’t even bother building homes at first and just lived in their wildcat lead mines, like a badger.
Canopyflyer@lemmy.world 1 year ago
TIL!
I’ve lived in Wisconsin since 2006 and did not know that.
Thank you!
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 1 year ago
If you think American badgers are bad wait till you meet the crack fox
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 1 year ago
I wonder how a dauchshund would fare against North American badgers 🤔
dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 1 year ago
I have three dachshunds. Two minis, Mary & Maizie, and a full size, Monty.
Mary we often call a little wolverine, because she can be vicious when she plays, making the most horrific noises you’ve ever heard out of any creature, much less someone that looks so absolutely disgustingly cute and adorable.
Her sister, Maizie, is the sweetest, kindest, shyest and nicest creature. Unless she sees a rat. Then it’s terrifying. She makes no sound as she runs at full speed, and snaps it up and shakes at the speed of sound. I don’t think her feet even touch the ground.
Monty is the biggest baby, he just wants to sleep and cuddle, even when he was a puppy. Unless you touch his mama. I am not allowed to hug my own mother, because he stands there and barks and howls and shoves his body between whoever’s touching her and her. Lol.
If anything of them could take a badger it would Maizie, but I don’t think even she could.
Also, this was originally supposed to be much shorter and more on topic, but then I had a chance to describe my dogs, and, y’know, muh babies!
XTL@sopuli.xyz 1 year ago
The Finnish name for dachshund is literally badgerdog (mäyräkoira) btw.
Maggoty@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Our dog is the most kind lovable 70 pound Belgian Shepard you’ll ever meet.
On leash if she sees a coyote, bobcat, or mountain lion she turns into a Hollywood snarl machine. That super deep rumble.
One day a cat chased our cat back to the door. I opened it to get him inside but I unwittingly unleashed a silent tan streak. The only reason the other cat survived was it jumped off the porch and went straight up a tree. Our cat came out to gloat and our dog did the tippy taps right there under the tree.
I have the most lovable furry criminal gang.
dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net 1 year ago
I remember learning that after my dad told me stories about badgers near the Minnesota farm where he grew up killing dogs significantly larger than dachshunds and thinking “how the fuck does that work??”
BakerBagel@midwest.social 1 year ago
It takes a slinky to beat a slinky
Thteven@lemmy.world 1 year ago
It depends on how many dachshunds you’re willing to lose.
skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
Having met dachshunds, and having met American badgers, I’m going to put my bet on “poorly”
A couple hundred years of bred instincts aren’t going to save the walking hotdog from the meth bear
abbadon420@lemm.ee 1 year ago
That’s exactly what badgers do in the stories of Beatrix Potter
turtlepower@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Wait till you hear what they do in Brian Jacques’ Redwall series!
sicarius@lemmy.world 1 year ago
You’ve missed out the Scottish snow badger. Like the regular European badger but about a third larger and completely white to blend into their (now disappearing) snowy highland habitats.
They are the sole reason hard plastic shell ski boots were invented after it was found that snow badgers have no problem biting through the old leather ski boots we used to use.
They hibernate through the summer months and only come out to hunt during the winter so it’s very hard to get a photo of them.