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‘End-to-end encrypted’ smart toilet camera is not actually end-to-end encrypted

⁨354⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨silence7@slrpnk.net⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://techcrunch.com/2025/12/03/end-to-end-encrypted-smart-toilet-camera-is-not-actually-end-to-end-encrypted/

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Comments

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  • Jimbabwe@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Sometimes this timeline is too absurd not to love a little bit

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    • Whostosay@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I pray everyday that someone sneaks up around me and hits my head with a large hammer

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      • yermaw@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Im always watching the lamps just in case.

        Feels like we’ve landed in an episode of Brasseye

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  • ininewcrow@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Anyone who decided to buy a smart toilet with internet access deserves to not have an encrypted connection

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    • TheWinged7@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Its even worse, its a smart attachment for any existing toilet

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    • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Only a matter of time before the Kohler Miracle occurs, a magnificent turd in the shape of the Virgin Mary.

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  • dalekcaan@feddit.nl ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The Dekoda costs $599 plus a mandatory subscription of at least $6.99 per month.

    Imagine paying $600 plus $7 a month for Kohler to look at your shit.

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    • thermal_shock@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Jokes on the intern?

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  • Raptor_007@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    What the fuck are we doing as humanity

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    • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Storing petabytes of shit photos on coal burning servers cooled by drinking water.

      Because a guy in a black turtleneck told us to.

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      • VitoRobles@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Wait, it stores it?

        I thought it forwards my shit pictures to my enemies.

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    • thermal_shock@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Nothing productive, just making $$ off rubes.

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  • ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    No shit.

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  • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Literally a shit post. Well done sir.

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  • tidderuuf@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    What a shitty design.

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  • mp3@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Surprised Pikachu

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  • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    end-to-end

    From my end to anothet person’s end connected by the plumbing system?

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    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      From my end to another person’s end connected by the plumbing system?

      a very complicated human centipede

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  • E_coli42@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    c/StallmanWasRight

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    • db2@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I’d just like to interject for a moment. What you’re refering to as Shitcam, is in fact, GNU/Shitcam, or as I’ve recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Shitcam.

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  • roserose56@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Camera toilet? For shitting with your boyfriend/girlfriend together.

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    • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Co-op or PvP?

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      • Anivia@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        PvE

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      • Siegfried@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        FFA

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      • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        PvP, obviously.

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      • roserose56@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Co-op

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      • BambiDiego@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Competitive Ranked PvP with time-eroding leaderboards

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    • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Image

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  • DocMcStuffin@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Literally using people’s shit to train their shit AI.

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  • JigglySackles@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I will never be surprised by insecure IoT devices.

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    • VitoRobles@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      The S in IoT stands for security

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      • JigglySackles@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Lol perfect, I like that.

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  • biggerbogboy@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Considering there has been a massive wave of smart cameras everywhere in and outside homes in the past and especially recently getting “hacked”, it’s not a stretch that randomly picking cameras to look through could yield a droopy balls and veiny cock jumpscare

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    • Krudler@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      To this very day, with only the slightest amount of technical knowledge, you can log onto people’s existing devices, watch their video feeds, initiate print jobs, etc.

      A ‘haha im hax0r’ amusement from 20+ years ago is still going strong.

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    • Confused_Emus@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      If you’re hacking a toilet camera, you deserve whatever horrors you find.

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  • khepri@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I don’t like to judge idiots too harshly, but if you bought a product marketed as an encrypted toilet camera you deserve whatever happens to you

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    • Drun@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Real gangsters use full fledged Dahua & go2rtc as their toilet camera

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  • QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    That’s because they call it Ass-to-Ass Encryption

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    • Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Poop back and forth forever.

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      • iamdefinitelyoverthirteen@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Blast from the past there.

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  • ToiletFlushShowerScream@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Wait, this technology wasn’t an onion article or a fever dream? WTF Kohler, how much money did you waste on this tech and supporting infrastructure?!

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    • andros_rex@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Adult Swim predicted this ten years ago.

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      • FosterMolasses@leminal.space ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Ahhhh, beat me to it!!

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  • Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    um, couldn’t you just look down at your shit, or take your own picture on your smart phone to compare to other poop images on the web? Like why the fuck would anyone need a toilet camera?

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    • okwhateverdude@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Might drop phone into the shitty toilet! But if the camera is specifically designed for my toilet, can’t drop it in! What an amazing product idea for people like me! Also, I don’t tell you your hobbies are dumb. If you’re curious, I have a graphed some data showing my normal distribution of bristol scale output for the last few years. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to fish the phone out of the toilet to collect that data (don’t worry, it’s waterproof, so it gets rinsed off during the flush).

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  • tkk13909@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Literal shit post

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    • xavier666@lemmy.umucat.day ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Shit shorts, ShitTok?

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  • xorollo@leminal.space ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    What are the ends in this end-to-end? Someone more clever than me can make this into a joke.

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    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Image

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      • xorollo@leminal.space ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I don’t think the public key is going to help that end user recover the message.

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  • davidagain@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    They invented an internet poop camera and people actually buy it?

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  • Apytele@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    If you wanna log your logs the old fashioned way with just a spreadsheet:

    Date / time

    • Small / medium / large
    • Bristol Scale
    • color
    • could also add odor or discomfort if you’re worried about that

    On a second spreadsheet in that workbook, keep a food diary, because that’s gonna provide a LOT of context (and you might discover some ways to be nicer to your tummy.

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  • KarfiolosHus@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    So is it any wonder that people are afraid of technology?

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    • Krudler@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Nobody is afraid of technology.

      Most people buying this stuff are just gadget goofs with way too much disposable income, nothing more.

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  • asudox@lemmy.asudox.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Why does anyone even need a camera in their toilets?

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    • okwhateverdude@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      From a dog’s perspective that lives in an urban area, this makes perfect sense. Humans are fascinated with poop, collected in bags, and stored in the park bins. Why wouldn’t they put cameras in their toilets?

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      • Whostosay@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Alright, I’ll do it.

        Why are we looking at this from a dogs perspective?

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    • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Content creation for an entire Pornhub tab.

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  • huquad@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    End to end to end. That’s 50% more ends so it has to be safer.

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  • richie_golds@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I guess they need to train the AI to better differentiate between gut issues and last night’s borscht.

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  • mechoman444@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    If there’s someone out there that gets off on watching me poop let them. (I’m a 310 pounds 40 year old.)

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  • Hux@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Image

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    • lastunusedusername2@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      “End to end!”

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      • Hux@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Image

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  • REDACTED@infosec.pub ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Toilet…camera? Do I want to know?

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  • Fmstrat@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I love the phrase “data is encrypted at rest.”

    Having worked with a lot of medical data, the rules are simple:

    • Encrypt at rest
    • Rest is when the database is off
    • Never turn off the database
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