[deleted]
Dad: “I’m introducing you to a cute girl and handing you a wade of money to spend the day having fun.”
Me: “This is the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone.”
[deleted]
Submitted 7 months ago by just1earthling@lemmy.world to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
Comments
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Psythik@lemmy.world 7 months ago
What the hell is wrong with this person? Dad did the hardest part, now all they gotta do is show up.
They should be thankful, not upset.
I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Fake shit.
finitebanjo@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I think it’s normal to feel a little embarrassed over parents who don’t respect your autonomy at age 22, but other than that no reason to feel down: life is good if this is your biggest problem.
Sil3nt@thelemmy.club 7 months ago
😂 yes
TheV2@programming.dev 7 months ago
Now that you have posted this on the internet, it’s probably too late to feel embarassed.
HiddenLychee@lemmy.world 7 months ago
These comments are weird AF to me. If I was your age and my dad gave me a “no objections” blind date, I’d fuck off right then. Personally because I never wanted my parents to meddle in my love life, but I would also not talk about it with them.
If you want to go on random dates with women for the sake of it, and you’re okay reinforcing this behavior from your dad, sure do it. Make sure you spend a shit ton of money so he thinks twice next time he gives you a “no objections” obligation.
But if you have no interest in blind dating I don’t see a reason why you should do it.
Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
Agreed, if you want a relationship with somebody you should be the one to seek them out. Not let mommy and daddy setup a date for you.
And i feel you are not the only person whoms parents are a little to nosey. Ive been in 4 relationships and they all ended up not working out. Purely because my parents are a bit of a handful and are just a tad overbearing, aswell as extremely pious.
Life is not an anime/hallmark movie. Your not gonna get text message or phone call from a random stranger thats madly in love with you. Which if that does happen there probably batshit crazy and you should touch them with a 10 foot pole. But i digress, people need to learn how to interact with other people rather if thats a romantic sense or a friendship. In any healthy relationship it requires work, from both partys.
And REMEMBER FELLAS, dont put your steamed hams in crazy 👌👌👌```
sanguinepar@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Completely agree. Dad is totally overstepping here, it’s none of his business whether OP arranges dates or not.
I’d refuse to go on the date out of general principle.
Cocopanda@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I would be worried about a 277 year old just accepting dates from old men for a younger man. This is toxic behavior and she is enabling it.
Diddlydee@feddit.uk 7 months ago
I’d be worried about a 277 year old.
cdf12345@lemmy.zip 7 months ago
Twist: he’s texting his daughter
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Femcel Destroyed By Progressive Loving Father
chocrates@piefed.world 7 months ago
Fucking do it! Worst case you get a little better at dating. I'm 37 and have had 3 girlfriends (and 1 ex wife) in my life and dating is miserable.
Being a companion to someone takes work and the earlier you can practice the better imo.
echodot@feddit.uk 7 months ago
I’d be really interested to know about the logistics of this. Did he arrange this with the girls family or with her directly, both weird, but in different ways.
Although I suppose it can’t be any worse than online dating.
onslaught545@lemmy.zip 7 months ago
Blind dates have been a thing for hundreds of years. It’s not that strange. The dad is just being an ass about it.
dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 months ago
the dad is being denigrating, but don’t you also feel it’s a violation to set up a date without consent or discussion first? The dad seems so toxic in his behavior and it’s not surprising to read he is also controlling and “dominant”.
cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 7 months ago
The thing with online dating is, that you never even reach the stage of actually going on a date.
Sir_Kevin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 months ago
1 That’s a significant age gap at that age. 2 The idea is fine but the execution is shitty.
onslaught545@lemmy.zip 7 months ago
A 5 year gap in your 20s isn’t significant. My wife and I met when we were each one year older than they are.
Fredthefishlord@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 months ago
It’s absolutely significant. Not to the point of being a deal breaker, but it is significant.
kameecoding@lemmy.world 7 months ago
27 to 22 is not significant, get a grip
Brutticus@midwest.social 7 months ago
He’s being kind of a dick, but not unkind. Try it.
elucubra@sopuli.xyz 7 months ago
No
NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 7 months ago
“Isn’t this cringy AF?!”
I’d be careful with that one, we don’t know the context in which this arranged date was set up. Was it between each of their parents, or was it with the 27 year old and OP’s dad? It could be potentially taken as an insult depending on what we don’t know.
Saleh@feddit.org 7 months ago
Man what is it with people these days?
"Hi, nice to meet you. Honestly this is the first time i go on a blind date and i am a little nervous. Anyways, did you arrive well?
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Yes, but still go
Blackmist@feddit.uk 7 months ago
Probably, but a date is date.
Best case, face full of 27 year old muff.
Worst case, harvested organs. But since your dad set it up, he was probably going to take them anyway.
CatDogL0ver@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Probably Indian arranged date. He will need to marry her on third date
Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 months ago
Id find it a bit creepy, last thing i would want in a potential partner, before we’ve even met, is absolutely anything to do with my parents.
Sunsofold@lemmings.world 7 months ago
How much do you trust your father? This could go great or terrible. She could be a friend’s daughter who he genuinely thought would be a catch, or she could be a prostitute he’s trying to use to manipulate you. You’d be in a better place to know.
MuttMutt@lemmy.world 7 months ago
My stepson is likely a 37 yeast old virgin.
Don’t be like my stepson.
Get a haircut, take a shower, go out on a date. When you are with her ask her on another. Take the chance to see where things go. If you don’t before you know it you will be someone’s 40 year old virgin.
pedz@lemmy.ca 7 months ago
Why is it a bad thing?
echodot@feddit.uk 7 months ago
I do imagine though that after a certain point it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Dating after the age of 25 is really awful, a lot of the people that age have already been in a relationship and have baggage. Some of that baggage walks around asking for juice.
MyBrainHurts@lemmy.ca 7 months ago
Honestly, I found dating in my late 20s early 30s to be the best. Everyone’s been in a few relationships, people are starting to get their shit figured out, folks generally have some disposable income etc. Yeah, some folks have baggage but others had baggage from family, high school or whatever else and some have worked through it.
Late 30s onwards, there’s a lot of “I’ve been to 4 weddings this summer, when is it myyyyyyyyy turn!” Or on the 2nd date, “let’s make a baby!”
I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 7 months ago
yeast old virgin.
Ew.
Hobo@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Look some people keep sourdough starter for generations. Just because they don’t necessarily make sourdough for 37 years with it is no reason to shame people for their hobbies. /s
Fun fact there’s an ancient sourdough yeast that is thought to be several thousands of years old. It’s not a virgin though and gets around quite a lot!
josefo@leminal.space 7 months ago
This is the closer humans get to being kicked off the nest to learn to fly lol.
echodot@feddit.uk 7 months ago
If she’s 27 I’m going to assume they are also around that age. I’d already moved out of the house by that point but unless you’re really rich or lucky you’re probably still fairly reliant on your parents. Most people these days aren’t getting their own place until their mid 30s
khannie@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I’m going to assume they are also around that age
Text says they’re 22. It’s not an insubstantial age difference but definitely worth a whirl IMO despite the dad’s condescending tone.
MyBrainHurts@lemmy.ca 7 months ago
It’s a uhhh, metaphor. Not actually about housing but about being forced to learn a new skill (in this case, dating.) The more common expression/metaphor would be “thrown into the deep end.”
P00ptart@lemmy.world 7 months ago
It says right in there that they’re 22.
Dholi@lemmy.ca 7 months ago
That’s a dad right there. I wish I had a dad like that.
Comrade_Squid@lemmy.ml 7 months ago
My dad tried setting me up, I wasn’t even single but I think he was projecting.
JackbyDev@programming.dev 7 months ago
I’d be upset about the tone, he’s speaking a little condescendingly in my opinion, but the reality is that arranged dates have been a thing for a very very long time. It’s not embarrassing.
dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 months ago
how would you feel if your parent arranged a date for you without discussion or consent, and posed it in such a condescending way? The parent is communicating contempt and violating boundaries, nothing about this seems acceptable…
JackbyDev@programming.dev 7 months ago
How would I feel?
I’d be upset about the tone, he’s speaking a little condescendingly in my opinion
Being a bit cheeky lol, but I can expand.
If my parents did this to me I’d be furious, but I also have always had this teenager-like aversion to everything my parents do even into my 30s. Whenever I do anything that reminds me of my parents it sends me into a bit of a spiral. Even when they’re good things my parents do. My parents are nice, good people. Like I’ll notice myself being helpful to people like my dad does and I’ll be angry that I’m being like him (it’s not quite that general, it’s not like general altruism makes me angry lol).
It’s also really difficult for me to know exactly how I’d react in this scenario because I’ve been with my partner for over half of my life now and we got together in high school.
So I’ve never really not had a partner since I was 15 and I already hate everything my parents do for some reason and am cognizant that it’s an unfair reaction.
Another thing I know is that some older folks (gen x and older) tend to communicate differently, especially over texts like SMS, than younger folks (millennial and younger). So I try to account for OP being 22, assume they were 25ish when they had OP so they’re 47ish. People I’ve talked to in that age range tend to seem more cold over text without meaning to. (An example, just replying a 👍 seems rude or sarcastic, but it is somewhat typical from them and they don’t mean anything by it.)
So when I read this, I try to get rid of my innate aversion to my parents, imagine myself feeling desperate and unloved, and try to be very gracious in my interpretation of the text. When I do all those it, at worst, seems like a weird thing to do unprompted. But I have no idea how OP’s father talks to them outside of texts. I don’t know what their relationship is like. I don’t know if this is violating boundaries because I don’t know what sort of boundaries they have. There are even cultures where this sort of thing is more normal and I don’t know if OP belongs to any of those cultures or a culture like what I grew up in where it’s not normal.
echodot@feddit.uk 7 months ago
Just as long as there’s no expectations.
Also I wouldn’t trust my parents to arrange me a date, I’ve met my parents.
Saleh@feddit.org 7 months ago
Well, they managed to find someone. So at least in their time and place they managed to do something right.
HalfSalesman@lemmy.world 7 months ago
No, you shouldn’t be embarrassed.
I mean, it probably wont work out unless your dad has a good eye for matchmaking but it is worth a shot. Plus its like he is suggesting a chance to grow as a person.
Part of me wishes my dad had done this but I know he’d be a terrible matchmaker for me. Though again, at least I probably would have learned from it.
dogs0n@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
“Evolve” is so funny. Sounds like you have a good pop pop.
Also no.
pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 months ago
That’s funny. Sounds like you guys have a good relationship. My dad and I don’t have this dynamic at all
happydoors@lemmy.world 7 months ago
His communication is harsh and demeaning towards you but he seems to be trying to help and care for you. All he knows is the life he has lived, sometimes people have a hard time imagining what you’ve gone through. Do what you want! I wouldn’t be too embarrassed. Parents and loved ones have helped each other out throughout all of time. Like others have said, just be polite and close the relationship if it’s a bad match!
spankmonkey@lemmy.world 7 months ago
harsh and demeaning towards you
Blunt and straightforward is not the same as harsh and demeaning. The father is explaining why he is doing it and how it is addressing the son’s complaints and behaviors.
happydoors@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Telling a 22 year old he can’t object and the sentiment of “fine, I’ll find girls for you” comes across to ME as harsh and demeaning. If my father or a fellow adult texted me like that, I would feel demeaned and that the language was a bit harsh and could be softened. Thanks for your opinion!
JackbyDev@programming.dev 7 months ago
Some older folks tend to speak in a way that comes across as rude in text messages without meaning to. I think it’s a case of that.
kameecoding@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Why be embarrassed? I am 33 and never had a girlfriend, I would welcome someone trying to set me up.
shplane@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I think a lot of people here are missing the point. It’s not whether the child of this guy can go on the date or not. It’s that the father is being an asshole. My mom would do this shit to me all the time. I never went on any of the dates but it was still annoying as hell.
Crackhappy@lemmy.world 7 months ago
You’re gonna be like Captain Hook. Old. Alone. Done for.
shplane@lemmy.world 7 months ago
First of all, this was a long time ago and I’m now happily married. Second of all, it’s okay for people to not couple up.
VinnyDaCat@lemmy.world 7 months ago
It’s not as uncommon as you’d think. People are relying on their parents more than ever, and parents who are willing to help are using this as an opportunity to provide help with strings attached.