“RFK questions guidance on not putting spring rolls up your anus.”
Don't tell me what to do.
Submitted 1 week ago by BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/26abd5ba-7628-4c54-b4a8-92b4cc468c0d.jpeg
Comments
FancyPantsFIRE@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Geodad@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Is that him or the worm talking?
MushuChupacabra@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Maybe the worm likes spring rolls.
Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 week ago
Literally 1984
tourist@lemmy.world 1 week ago
olafurp@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Don’t shove spring rolls up your ass, shove autumn wraps into the digestive system in reverse. :)
5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
The surveillance is a bit anal.
Willy@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
I missed that page.
genevieve@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 week ago
FLARED. BASE.
Machinist@lemmy.world 1 week ago
gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
I have so many questions about the train of thought that led to this… situation.
wanderwisley@lemm.ee 1 week ago
KingJalopy@lemm.ee 1 week ago
What goes up must always come down
barneypiccolo@lemm.ee 1 week ago
Several years back, I went to the store at the beginning of summer to get some foam pool noodles for the pool. I couldn’t find them anywhere, not even Walmart.
The next spring, they were everywhere, but they all included a tag or sticker that read “Not to be inserted rectally.”
So we had to go a summer without pool noodles so the government regulators could protect us against some butt stuff some weirdo tried.
Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 1 week ago
if you can shove a pool noodle up yer arse, I don’t think the government should tell you not too
huppakee@feddit.nl 1 week ago
Thank god I’m not a patient then ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
IhaveCrabs111@lemmy.world 1 week ago
For now
Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 1 week ago
It’s the fried ones that are the problem: crispy = sharp edges = torn bowel = septic shock = dead.
The fresh ones with the squishy exterior should feel much more like a penis going into your ass. Choose the sauce carefully - your entire GI tract has receptors sensitive to spiciness.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 week ago
If you want to push the spicy level but not have a visit from Satan’s eyeball, they make this great barrier ointment called Ilex. Just, uh, you have to be careful not to glue your butt cheeks closed to most folk put some Vaseline on afters. Who knows, maybe they’ve fixed that but i last used it regularly when I wanted to belong to the nuclear taco club but couldn’t get Thursdays off, it’s been a minute.
GooberEar@lemmy.wtf 1 week ago
First they invented great barrier reef, now they make great barrier ointment. My God what horrors and highlights, the hubris of humankind.
musubibreakfast@lemm.ee 1 week ago
Best thing to do is just fry the egg rolls inside your bowels. First you coat your lower intestines with aluminum foil, then you shove in the egg rolls and pour in the hot oil.
Appleseuss@lemmy.world 1 week ago
My body, my choice.
IhaveCrabs111@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Doctor: can you at least wait a few seconds after you take them out of the deep fryer?
Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 1 week ago
Doctors don’t know what you put in your but if you also shove an apple up there beforehand.
GooberEar@lemmy.wtf 1 week ago
First they told us not to eat the yellow snow, now they’re telling us not to stick spring rolls up our poop chutes. It’s like doctors don’t want us to find any joy in our lives.
KingJalopy@lemm.ee 1 week ago
Or give them reasons to earn money while also telling crazy ass stories to their friends and family. Literally.
Senseless@feddit.org 1 week ago
Use summer rolls instead. They’re usually bigger anyway.
kate@lemmy.uhhoh.com 1 week ago
just gonna leave this here walesonline.co.uk/…/doctors-warning-people-not-in…
lowered_lifted@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 week ago
“I can almost recognize my bottom again” is an all time quote
Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Fuckin’ big pharma. I ain’t sticking Pfizer’s goddamn wantons up there, I’m sticking with PF Changs just like my paw-pee and his pee-paw before 'em.
_AutumnMoon_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 week ago
Well, I wasn’t going to before, but now I am wondering what hidden secrets they are keeping from us??
terminhell@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Well DUH! It’s summer idiots.
bampop@lemmy.world 1 week ago
I’m sure you can get frozen spring rolls
Deceptichum@quokk.au 1 week ago
Well excuse me for being a good host during my digital rectal exam.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 week ago
He didn’t complain about the tea kettle at least, that’s just being hospitable
LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
More importantly, is that soy sauce? Y’all eat spring rolls with motherfucking soy sauce? Ewwwwww
JustARegularNerd@aussie.zone 1 week ago
The fuck? First person I’ve met that objects to this. Even the sushi places usually throw in soy sauce for your spring rolls
LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
Wait, sushi places have spring rolls? I thought it was a doner kebab thing, I get them with cream sauce or garlic sauce or something. Definitely not soy sauce yuck.
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
Yeah. You should be lubricating your spring rolls with sweet&sour sauce.
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
“Insert from other end”
D_C@lemm.ee 1 week ago
Instructions unclear. Urethra is now also unclear.
Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Tik Tok challenges are really going to another level.
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
Doctors are giving this patient a new idea he’d never considered before.
rodneyck@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
I have moved on to egg rolls.
BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Well I am on pineapple satay skewers. Get with the now.
rodneyck@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
Challenge accepted!
nectar45@lemmy.zip 1 week ago
Just watch me motherfucker
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 1 week ago
If I insert the spring rolls into my ass, will I shit them out from my mouth?
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
No. Secret third thing. If you find out, do not tell them.
Poach@lemmy.world 1 week ago
I think there is only one way to find out…
Honytawk@feddit.nl 1 week ago
If you put enough up there, sure.
You’d be like one of those PEZ dispensers.
LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world 1 week ago
The new sexually frustrated boomer trend
olafurp@lemmy.world 1 week ago
“Breaking news”
elevenbones@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
Yeah probably the same “doctors” that give vaccines and think covid is real 😳
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 1 week ago
A spring roll a day…
dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 1 week ago
If only there was a better way…
NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 1 week ago
I wasn’t going to, but now you’ve got me thinking about it.
TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Image
aeronmelon@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Chaotic Good Karen.