If only there was a better way…
Don't tell me what to do.
Submitted 10 months ago by BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/26abd5ba-7628-4c54-b4a8-92b4cc468c0d.jpeg
Comments
dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 10 months ago
NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I wasn’t going to, but now you’ve got me thinking about it.
rodneyck@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
I have moved on to egg rolls.
BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Well I am on pineapple satay skewers. Get with the now.
rodneyck@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
Challenge accepted!
nectar45@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Just watch me motherfucker
terminhell@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Well DUH! It’s summer idiots.
bampop@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I’m sure you can get frozen spring rolls
Appleseuss@lemmy.world 10 months ago
My body, my choice.
IhaveCrabs111@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Doctor: can you at least wait a few seconds after you take them out of the deep fryer?
elevenbones@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Yeah probably the same “doctors” that give vaccines and think covid is real 😳
barneypiccolo@lemm.ee 10 months ago
Several years back, I went to the store at the beginning of summer to get some foam pool noodles for the pool. I couldn’t find them anywhere, not even Walmart.
The next spring, they were everywhere, but they all included a tag or sticker that read “Not to be inserted rectally.”
So we had to go a summer without pool noodles so the government regulators could protect us against some butt stuff some weirdo tried.
Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 10 months ago
if you can shove a pool noodle up yer arse, I don’t think the government should tell you not too
lowered_lifted@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
they are going that way anyway, why not have a couple take a shortcut
MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 10 months ago
This is why we can’t have universal healthcare.
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 10 months ago
A spring roll a day…
olafurp@lemmy.world 10 months ago
“Breaking news”
Honytawk@feddit.nl 10 months ago
It’s because those doctors already have anal beads up there.
GooberEar@lemmy.wtf 10 months ago
First they told us not to eat the yellow snow, now they’re telling us not to stick spring rolls up our poop chutes. It’s like doctors don’t want us to find any joy in our lives.
KingJalopy@lemm.ee 10 months ago
Or give them reasons to earn money while also telling crazy ass stories to their friends and family. Literally.
wanderwisley@lemm.ee 10 months ago
KingJalopy@lemm.ee 10 months ago
What goes up must always come down
_AutumnMoon_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
Well, I wasn’t going to before, but now I am wondering what hidden secrets they are keeping from us??
LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
More importantly, is that soy sauce? Y’all eat spring rolls with motherfucking soy sauce? Ewwwwww
JustARegularNerd@aussie.zone 10 months ago
The fuck? First person I’ve met that objects to this. Even the sushi places usually throw in soy sauce for your spring rolls
LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
Wait, sushi places have spring rolls? I thought it was a doner kebab thing, I get them with cream sauce or garlic sauce or something. Definitely not soy sauce yuck.
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
Yeah. You should be lubricating your spring rolls with sweet&sour sauce.
ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Doctors hate this one trick where patients stick spring rolls up their ass.
Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 10 months ago
Doctors don’t know what you put in your but if you also shove an apple up there beforehand.
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 10 months ago
If I insert the spring rolls into my ass, will I shit them out from my mouth?
Honytawk@feddit.nl 10 months ago
If you put enough up there, sure.
You’d be like one of those PEZ dispensers.
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
No. Secret third thing. If you find out, do not tell them.
Poach@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I think there is only one way to find out…
genevieve@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
FLARED. BASE.
Machinist@lemmy.world 10 months ago
gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
I have so many questions about the train of thought that led to this… situation.
5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
I couldn’t find spring rolls on AnyDice.com
Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 10 months ago
It’s the fried ones that are the problem: crispy = sharp edges = torn bowel = septic shock = dead.
The fresh ones with the squishy exterior should feel much more like a penis going into your ass. Choose the sauce carefully - your entire GI tract has receptors sensitive to spiciness.
musubibreakfast@lemm.ee 10 months ago
Best thing to do is just fry the egg rolls inside your bowels. First you coat your lower intestines with aluminum foil, then you shove in the egg rolls and pour in the hot oil.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 10 months ago
If you want to push the spicy level but not have a visit from Satan’s eyeball, they make this great barrier ointment called Ilex. Just, uh, you have to be careful not to glue your butt cheeks closed to most folk put some Vaseline on afters. Who knows, maybe they’ve fixed that but i last used it regularly when I wanted to belong to the nuclear taco club but couldn’t get Thursdays off, it’s been a minute.
GooberEar@lemmy.wtf 10 months ago
First they invented great barrier reef, now they make great barrier ointment. My God what horrors and highlights, the hubris of humankind.
Deceptichum@quokk.au 10 months ago
Well excuse me for being a good host during my digital rectal exam.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 10 months ago
He didn’t complain about the tea kettle at least, that’s just being hospitable
kibiz0r@midwest.social 10 months ago
Well now I’m gonna do it out of spite.
Willy@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
what kind of sauce you gonna put on it?
kibiz0r@midwest.social 10 months ago
Teriya-KY
niktemadur@lemmy.world 10 months ago
…unless you heat them up first, to kill the bacteria; two minutes on HIGH ought to do it.
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
You are a menace.
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
“Insert from other end”
D_C@lemm.ee 10 months ago
Instructions unclear. Urethra is now also unclear.
Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Tik Tok challenges are really going to another level.
hakunawazo@lemmy.world 10 months ago
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