musubibreakfast

@musubibreakfast@lemm.ee

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Google's AI now listens to your English language phone conversations⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  One day you come home, you see all your stuff is in boxes. Then you see a note on the fridge, it says: “Womp womp” You fall to your knees and break down in tears. Through your tears you see another note underneath the fridge. You reach for the note. The note reads: “Womp, womp?” You began to laugh maniacally. You hear footsteps, you stop laughing. Your wife stands behind you. She says: “Kept you on your toes didn’t I?”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Oof⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  We’ll all become peasants who serve a lord and we’ll call it natural living

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The joy of going through pregnancy along with your sister⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  At least he’ll die doing what he loved.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨“This script is fantastic. Let’s get Julia Roberts to play Harriet Tubman.”⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  You’re a real one.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨quick health tip⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Amateur move, I just throw my whole breakfast in my coffee.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Don't try this at home⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  It was the Mexican National Anthem

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Don't try this at home⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Are you ok now?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Fuck you, Genie⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Great, I can solve all these problems with 3 wishes. I wish to be a sentient robot that’s indistinguishable from a normal human being. I wish for a steady supply of spar parts in case any piece of me breaks. And my last wish is that I have the capability to repair, upgrade and enhance myself as I see fit.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Very gently, I’m sure⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  But PVC does melt unlike schrapnel, so there’s no problem if they set your abdomen on fire.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨We'll have plenty of camps to have them sent to by then.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  The leaders will get nice cushy jobs in Israel as consultants.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Genius⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Pull trigger to continue.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨And irritate eyes to drink tears⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m quite certain that it was a moth on the silence of the lambs poster and not a butterfly

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Or a shrimp⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Spudelia, Spudtinca, Spudcy, Spuddaya, Spuddey, Spudtilda. These are all viable names, I suggest you rename your child.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨A person born in 2015 is 20 years old⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s all the nicotine in the breast milk

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Windows Is Adding AI Agents That Can Change Your Settings⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Your desktop was cluttered so Microsoft AI agent formatted your hard drive. Please insert your credit card number to buy a new windows license.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Peak evolution (after crabs)⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I think you might be a kung fu master

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨YKK’s Self-Propelled Zipper: Less Crazy Than It Seems⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Now you just need a gunpowder powered pulley system that whips your massive dong out of your fly after the motorized zipper opens your pants.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨At last we know all his answers⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  You’re my favorite writer. Happy to see you’re still alive!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Find a circle that is going places⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  They still have the McRib in Taiwan

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Find a circle that is going places⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  TIL Grimace is supposed to be a taste bud

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Uncle Sam abruptly turns off funding for CVE program. Yes, that CVE program⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  CPU = Chief Party Unicorn

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The poop psa absolutely no one asked for⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  No, that’s lightly colored blood. Mostly on toilet paper. We’re looking for dark red blood here.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨France to ban students from keeping smartphones in schools⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  No, you’re being facetious. Go sit in the corner.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Trump reportedly suspends Nvidia H20 export ban plan after $1 million dinner with Jensen Huang⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Absolutely not, we’re talking about a man who serves fast food to athletes.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's about that time⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Needless to say, you helpt him junk the computers and then you made banana bread together.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Dont worry about your retirement plan...⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Thank you for your service

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Google Ranking Reddit AI Translated Pages Too Well.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  It was really strange to see some old comments I made in another language translated in English.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What's the community for stuff like this?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Your hair might become thinner but you wouldn’t necessarily go bald. My grandfather had a full head of hair when he passed away at 79. I don’t think his primary sex hormone was estrogen.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Flushing⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  The moment you figure out where your poop is supposed to go, you’ll get a promotion. I guarantee it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨They don't make the parts I'm missing anymore.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  How many parts of you do I need to replace before you become someone else?