musubibreakfast
@musubibreakfast@lemm.ee
- Comment on Might be time to find another job 21 hours ago:
This woman is a nightmare, her name is Susan, and Susan recently started swallowing the supplies and we have to wait for her to poop them out if we want to use them. And as if that wasn’t bad enough she makes us talk her out for a walk whenever we want anything. Yesterday I took Susan for a walk and had to wait ten minutes for her to shit out a stapler.
- Comment on It was all a lie, wasn't it? 1 day ago:
You don’t need any of that nonsense. Real men insulate themselves with their feelings. As for electricity, I make that myself. They don’t call me the love dynamo for no reason.
- Comment on Don't tell me what to do. 2 days ago:
Best thing to do is just fry the egg rolls inside your bowels. First you coat your lower intestines with aluminum foil, then you shove in the egg rolls and pour in the hot oil.
- Comment on Yes, this is what people did back then 4 days ago:
50" inch screen, money green leather sofa
- Comment on surprised_pikachu.jpg 5 days ago:
“Jared Leto is innocent until proven guilty, now excuse Jared Leto, Jared Leto has some teens to sext.”
- Comment on A metaphor for capitalism? 1 week ago:
I’m sure the spider tried
- Comment on Happens to the best of us 1 week ago:
Yes, dad bought it for her after mom killed herself. It’s still in the box.
- Comment on Founder of 23andMe buys back company out of bankruptcy auction 1 week ago:
Calling it here, Costco is going to use the genetic information to create the perfect hot dog.
- Comment on Reddit will help advertisers turn ‘positive’ posts into ads 1 week ago:
When I plowed through that kindergarten I didn’t get as much as a single dent. If that isn’t an endorsement, then I don’t know what is.
- Comment on Hertz, showing the difference between science and engineering 1 week ago:
Here’s a little known fact that is not true, which will bring some nuance to the previous anecdote, Benjamin Franklin ate babies.
- Comment on Half of companies planning to replace customer service with AI are reversing course 2 weeks ago:
Replace all the customer facing employees with chimpanzees with webcams that say in sign language: read what’s on the website. Whenever someone calls in or opens a chat, they’re connected with a chimp. Be sure to also include a guide to ASL on the company website. I guarantee sales will go up
- Comment on "And my dick fucks your wife more than you do. What's your point?" 3 weeks ago:
Or maybe double down: “I live in my car.”
- Comment on "And my dick fucks your wife more than you do. What's your point?" 3 weeks ago:
Then you just give them a hug and tell them everything will be ok.
- Comment on What happened 3 weeks ago:
in the last season Aria kills that ice king guy while wearing Ed Sheeran’s face. She leaps from the trees, catches the king off guard and yells: “Nobody expects to be killed by Ed Sheeran!”
- Comment on What happened 3 weeks ago:
It would’ve been much better if Aria slit his throat moment he tried to reach for an instrument
- Comment on Let my Duolingo streak expire cos I don't want to give them any more AI training for free and this popped up 🙄 3 weeks ago:
Does she actually speak the language she’s learning?
- Comment on In North Korea, your phone secretly takes screenshots every 5 minutes for government surveillance 3 weeks ago:
You’re gonna cook up a crazy theory like that and not even mention big daddy capitalism?
- Comment on A postal worker in Harlem attacked a trans woman. She fought back and fatally stabbed him in self-defense. This is how the NY Post framed it. 3 weeks ago:
Innocent God fearing all American red blooded heterosexual bystanders.
- Comment on A postal worker in Harlem attacked a trans woman. She fought back and fatally stabbed him in self-defense. This is how the NY Post framed it. 3 weeks ago:
Upstanding heterosexual cisgendered male citizen forced to take homeless bum’s life in deadly subway altercation.
- Comment on A postal worker in Harlem attacked a trans woman. She fought back and fatally stabbed him in self-defense. This is how the NY Post framed it. 3 weeks ago:
Violently homosexual man brutalizes innocent bystander in gay rage.
- Comment on I feel attacked 3 weeks ago:
That’s a sub class, if you pick running then you’ll date a younger runner. If you pick Japan then you’ll date a young Japanese person etc.
- Comment on do you think freewill truly exists? 4 weeks ago:
Just two parents to a person named Step.
- Comment on I knew it 4 weeks ago:
I’m starting a convoy for the downstairs bathroom, start packing your provisions.
- Comment on WaaaaAAALLLEEEeee 4 weeks ago:
“Klugerama, we have tried the carrot, it is now time for the stick!”
- Comment on If it ain’t broke… 4 weeks ago:
I do the same bro, I wear 30 pairs of shirts and pants on top of each other and every week I shed a layer. I call it the crustacean method.
- Comment on Rhubarb 4 weeks ago:
I went to an all rabbit university. It was rough.
- Comment on Number neighbors! 4 weeks ago:
If you need to use an /s then you’re not doing it right.
- Comment on Number neighbors! 4 weeks ago:
No, if I believe you’re stupid then that reinforces my myopic world view in which I am the only smart person on the internet.
- Comment on Let's play this game again 4 weeks ago:
Alright, I’ll make it a bit more difficult.
- Comment on Let's play this game again 4 weeks ago:
Their friends and family become trapped in stasis until they complete a campaign, they know you are to blame.