I went in saying that work feels boring and repetitive. Feel stuck in the same job for the rest of my life, even though i hate it.
She said we all feel that way.
i broke
Submitted 1 year ago by Stamets@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/faedadad-2c8a-4f83-8350-d75cf6a9c5c4.jpeg
Comments
MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Stamets@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I would throw a fucking truck at her.
Evotech@lemmy.world 1 year ago
That’ll be 200 bucks please
vga@sopuli.xyz 1 year ago
“Here, take this test”.
Ok.
“Huh. I’ve never seen results like this”
endeavor@sopuli.xyz 1 year ago
Just cheer up.
unit327@lemmy.zip 1 year ago
but doctor, i am pagliachi
OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 1 year ago
Fake it til ya make it
Im_old@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Imposter syndrome reporting for duty
LordWiggle@lemmy.world 1 year ago
They always tell me “sorry, you’re too complex, go somewhere else”
Stamets@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Been there…
RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Schizophrenia isn’t real and you are the way you are because of social anxiety.
NO! THE PHYSIOLOGICAL EVIDENCE MATTER! I DON’T CARE ABOUT SCANS OF THE NEOCORTEX! THESE
10077 CASES THAT WE CHERRY-PICKED FOR THEIR RESULTS ARE ALL THE EVIDENCE I NEED TO MAKE MY CASE!YOU’RE WORSE THEN THE TENURE COMMITEE!
I HOPE ALL YOUR PETS DIE AND YOU KILL YOURSELF!
L3mmyW1nks@lemmy.world 1 year ago
You should seek out a new therapist, that’s bad advice.
RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Hard to believe he was Head of Psychiatry at a major hospital, huh?
OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 1 year ago
Nah, some people need to hear that their issue isn’t real for them to stop victimizing themselves
plyth@feddit.org 1 year ago
It seems like you escape your inner conflicts by being industrious.
Not professional advice but instead of going, you could halt posting for a moment and focus on your breathing. It will assure you that you are safe, and you can let the conflicts become a bit more aware without feeling overwhelmed by the terror. Do this for some time and you create the space to transform your conflicts.
Echolynx@lemmy.zip 1 year ago
I will share and highly recommend this resource: CCI’s Self Help Resources. There are various pages for different types of dilemmas, and most of them take you to self-directed workbooks you can fill out yourself. They’re not only informative, but they also guide you through your thinking about these issues and how to deal with them and grow from them.
Christobootswiththepher@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Wow, awesome resources yo. I had a quick read and they are presented simply. But with such a large body of work! Way to go Western Australia.
Echolynx@lemmy.zip 1 year ago
Right! I never would’ve heard of it if not for a random comment on that other cursed site.
horse@feddit.org 1 year ago
You clearly find it easy to stop doing things that are bad for you (drinking, drugs, eating meat), but you struggle to start doing things that are good for you (exercise, cooking, eating enough/well).
She was right. I still don’t do the bad stuff and started doing the good stuff and now my life is so much better. Ironically it was quitting the last bad thing (weed) which allowed me to start taking care of myself. It’s not enough to not hurt yourself, you have to be good to yourself too.
ssfckdt@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 year ago
Your life is the way it is because you’ve decided that it’s more comfortable to leave that way than to change it.
Srsly years and years of therapy this was the only thing that did anything for me
OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 1 year ago
Amen. I said screw it, saved money and moved to Korea. Happiest 3 years of my life.
LavaPlanet@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Check out some DBT / cbt techniques on YouTube or the like, whatever is easiest to access, find some that resonate with you and make them your own / tweak them so they fit your life / vibe.
I did a DBT course, and while I hated every minute of it, a lot of it is super great and hugely helpful for coping in hard moments and a great recipe for a way of living that’s more calm and balanced. I feel like I hated the DBT course I did because the people presenting it had never even stumbled on a rock in their lives, let alone lived through a hard moment and needed any of this stuff for real, and their privilege read as saccharine condescension.
BUT! I’m never one to throw the baby out with the bath water, I believe you can turn anything to your advantage or upskill or just build knowledge, if you’re industrious enough! You take those muthafking lemons and you make champagne, fk them. Plus they just mostly showed us clips on YouTube, so lol. The DBT course I did felt more like the break room from severance, having to admit how faulty you are and how this new enlightening thing they just told you seconds ago is going to benefit your life, as they announce each section. They didn’t even give you time to process, let alone leave room for if that was something you already knew or already utilized, but, I powered through and just paid lip-service, got my upskill, moved on.
Easier path, just look up DBT on YouTube, find people explaining what you like, give it a go on a regular basis.
NauticalNoodle@lemmy.ml 1 year ago
Maybe a change of scenery will do you some good.
TheThrillOfTime@lemmy.ml 1 year ago
Whatever assumptions you have about the universe and other people are wrong. They all want to connect and love/be loved.
DrunkAnRoot@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
sleep just take a nap an do things when you wake up
MusicSoulEdu@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
If feeling overwhelmed, do the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method.
Find and make note of:
- 5 things you see
- 4 things you touch
- 3 things you hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste/recall tasting
And the idea with this is to stop dwelling on your negative spiral, and to focus on immediate surroundings.
Therapist also said to feel free to mix and match the sense with the number. For example, I don’t have a good sense of smell, so I do 2 things I can taste/remember tasting, and 1 thing I can smell.
piranhaconda@mander.xyz 1 year ago
I was taught this for panic attacks, except it’s hard to remember what to do when in the midst of a panic attack. Then I’d just get a bit distracted trying to remember which sense came next, mission failed successfully?
MusicSoulEdu@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
It is, and that’s okay! My therapist said that even if I could only remember two of the five senses to just switch between the two for all of 5-4-3-2-1 until I calm down! It is the act of this thing, and not necessarily the perfection of executing it!
Jhuskindle@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I have a few but my absolute favorite was when he said " Imagine there’s a woman, maybe she is homeless or on drugs, and she shouts at you as you walk by across the street. She says you look like a cockroach. What would you do? " “Probably laugh” “Exactly, think of your parent as that woman. They have no effect on your life but noise” I’m paraphrasing but I liked the idea of my negative thoughts ingrained by generations of trauma being like a random shouting on the street.
Fleur_@aussie.zone 1 year ago
Just start doing things.
bender223@lemmy.today 1 year ago
Agree. Could be anything. Just do something. We underestimate our mind body connection. It’s probably more likely that we developed complicated thought ability by doing more and more complicated physical activity than the other way around.
Snowclone@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Try and take time to soothe your inner child. Eat a bowl of Mac and cheese, try to go surfing, do dumb shit kids do. You know. Try it. Also learn to love yourself. Fucking good luckg, man that one… like how the fuck could that ever happen.
_____@lemm.ee 1 year ago
I think everyone’s psychology is so different that people out there wonder “how could you not like yourself, it’s you” and meanwhile me I can never see that happening, ever.
ghen@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
Start with one part. Work your way to two eventually.
I like my belly button, it’s satisfyingly deep.
Siegfried@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I’m sorry OP, the hour has ended. Try not you <you know> yourself till next session. Have a nice weekend
Agent641@lemmy.world 1 year ago
You are a hairless ape whos been plucked out of the grassy planes of Africa and put in an artificially lit world where each day contains more hostile stimulation than you would normally process in a month. Your brain isn’t built to handle the information overload that social media, commuting, taxes, work, news, and basic modern life contains. You are right to feel a constant sense of fight or flight at this bizzare and hostile alien world.
Colonel_Panic_@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Reject modernity return to monkey.
Agent641@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Monkey, precisely
Snowclone@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I have been meaning to spend more time outdoors…
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 1 year ago
ddg is my therapist
CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
Your therapist said that?
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Among other things
confusedbytheBasics@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Go live your life. Make some mistakes worth talking about then come back.
Still working on it. Turns out all the stuff I was so scared to do with my life wasn’t so dangerous after all.
rumba@lemmy.zip 1 year ago
My father once said don’t stick your dick in crazy.
It’s one of the more true and less offensive things he told me.
Mossheart@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
“never challenge worse”
Inucune@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I shouldn’t be paranoid about him double billing me/my insurance.
Not all therapists are good ones.
rumba@lemmy.zip 1 year ago
that negative feelings come from places where my mental image of the world conflicts with objective reality.
Used to work in the backend of insurance.
It’s ‘possible’ to double bill for a good reason, but it’s an outlier of a situation.
If you have a shitty insurance company, they’ll stretch money in bad times by only paying places out after multiple requests. They also get trained that if an insurance company drags their feet, the second time they’re billed, they get paid, so they always do it.
Any insurance company worth its salt will catch double billing.
Now, all that said, a LOT of providers double bill and get paid multiple times.
It’s usually assholes all-the-way down.
Pnut@lemm.ee 1 year ago
I can’t heal you. You have to learn how to manage your situation. That I would be glad to help you with.
I know she said it differently but that’s how I remember it. I’ve never been so terrified in my life but she helped me (so far) to get really excited for change.
nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 1 year ago
What issues are you dealing with (if you feel like sharing)? I can speak from my experience being in therapy for AuADHD, anxiety, depression, childhood traumas, and a few other things.
SpicyColdFartChamber@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Any advice on how to do work like other people? I am quick to grab my phone everytime I get even slightly stressed or don’t immediately know the answer to a problem.
And it takes a lot of time for me to do something, it takes other very little (at least compared to me). Any advice on that?
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 1 year ago
I have that problem and it’s still a problem for me but what I’ve found that sort of works is to keep a to do list of all the shit I need to do. Kind of like a bulet journal but less complicated. If someone asks me to do something then instead of immediately jumping on it (unless it’s an emergency) I put it on the list. Then when I am working on something and it stresses me out to the point I am reaching for my phone I move to a different item on the list instead (sometimes). When I finish something or review the list and see a bunch of things crossed off it also gives me a little mood bump. Also keeping my phone in my bag instead of within reach and just listening to podcasts or whatever on my wireless buds helps.
None of this is a perfect solution but it did help a bit. Usually if I can get myself in a groove I can power through several items and make up the time I lost dicking around so having a list ready is handy for that as well.
nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 1 year ago
Any advice on how to do work like other people? I am quick to grab my phone everytime I get even slightly stressed or don’t immediately know the answer to a problem.
Assuming that you have ADHD based on your other comment, I do, actually, from my own struggles with AuADHD. First thing, is a bit of radical acceptance. If you are not neurotypical, especially if ADHD and/or ASD are involved, you’re not and never will be “like other people”. No pill known by medical science, no strategy, and no therapy is going to change that because it has to do with the brain developing differently in physical structural ways than a neurotypical brain and it’s likely genetic or epigenetic.
That doesn’t mean that there’s no hope for functionality. Just that one must approach things differently and “calibrate” strategies to work with, rather than against their brain. Importantly, it also means that most “productivity hacks” and the like are utterly useless because they were developed with a neurotypical brain as the starting point.
When it comes to doom scrolling and the like, when stressed, you’re actually at a good starting point in that you are aware of what is happening and at least somewhat aware of the cause. It might not seem apparent but, emotion is a significant component of ADHD. The biggest thing to know is that if you are fighting against a heightened emotional state that is causing you to be unable to start or continue something, it can be like quicksand. Constantly running into that emotional brick wall isn’t going to help.
So, what do you do? Well, the same thing isn’t necessarily going to work for everyone. Something that I’ve been working on with my therapist is a strategy from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) that is called the “STOP” skill (here’s a link). Essentially, it involves analyzing your state in the moment and mindfully deciding on a path forward.
If, like many with ADHD including myself (this was a fun thing to become aware of well into adulthood), you are not super comfortable with your emotions and/or have alexithymia (trouble identifying, describing, and expressing ones own emotions), it could be useful to find an emotion wheel or feelings wheel. There are many versions out there. The important thing is to find one that makes sense to you - I like the ones that start more general in the center and get more specific in the edges. To use that type to figure out how you are feeling (or evaluate how you were feeling from memory), just start with your finger in the center and work your way outwards to the emotion that most fits. Practicing this when not in a moment of stress can help to make it easier when you need it.
Other things that you can try are: practicing meditation so that it is easier to use when you need it and, if necessary, making your phone inaccessible, if you don’t need it. Overall, the goal is to improve coping strategies available to you in order to make it easier to use ones that serve you and your well-being.
And it takes a lot of time for me to do something, it takes other very little (at least compared to me). Any advice on that?
Again, assuming that you have ADHD here. The first thing that you’ll need to do is identify the causes. I, for example, often have a lot of trouble reading (even though I love it and was at a college level vocabulary in primary school). For me, this is caused entirely by ADHD, resulting in re-reading paragraphs and sometimes individual sentences multiple times before they “stick”. This caused a lot of problems for me when I was a child didn’t receive any treatment for it.
Another common thing for ADHD is getting too granular and getting into analysis paralysis or stuck planning rather than doing. I find that setting limits on myself helps to reduce this. For example, if I need to write a program, I might get stuck evaluating what language to use, what libraries to use, which perform better under a given workload, etc. I need to set limits on how long I can take to research and try to make the scope of the work as small as possible to avoid either getting sick in perpetual planning or perpetual research.
Ultimately, you need to evaluate why you are taking longer to do the tasks, which is likely not just one thing, and start chipping away at the things that are causing the time sink in manageable bites. Don’t try to fix everything at once!
Wisas62@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Maybe this is an event of what happens if I don’t know? I understand that this wouldn’t be something you could cold turkey, but what I’m saying is what if I’m that scenario you start questioning “do I need to know?”. When you’re in a comfortable mind space, think about what you would have done ~15 years ago when there was no access to an unlimited amount of data?
I’m definitely not a therapist so maybe this isn’t helpful at all but worth a shot.
Stapps@lemmy.world 1 year ago
The issue here is that you’re doing everything you can to avoid negative emotions, like picking up your phone to distract yourself at the first sign of anxiety.
Often some of the biggest things which hold us back in life come from avoiding discomfort. The most ‘motivated’ people you know aren’t doing all these things because it’s easy, they do them despite the difficulty and discomfort.
The best thing you can do for yourself is learn how to sit with discomfort and act on what you want to do despite it. It’s not easy, but it’ll change a lot for you.
creamcorn@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Thank you for these
Zenith@lemm.ee 1 year ago
So many of these are so good, too many people don’t realize you can use your body to essentially “hack” your brain
confusedbytheBasics@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Little known fact the brain is in fact part of the body.
whotookkarl@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Jiggle_Physics@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
This has been what I do with mine. Most of it is pretty fucking “well duh” type stuff, however working with people to hold you, and you hold yourself, accountable for making progress in these ways. The part of having someone to hold you to account, this is often where a therapist is the most useful. However, in this situation, this isn’t an option, so you need to reach out to others.
Take your meds. If you need meds, but can not currently access them due to finance issues, there are sources out there that may be able to help. This is not often easy to navigate, but it may be something that saves you.
Try any method you can find, that is from a reputable source, to keep your sleep on a schedule, and get at least 6 hours per night. This is way more important than many wish, but generally everyone knows it is vital to health, including mental health.
Make yourself accountable to someone for daily improvement progress - eg find a friend, family member, online gaming buddy, whatever, that you report to, on a routine basis, to report the regularity of maintaining these routines. This means whatever you need to do to keep your living space clean, and in order, routine exercise, adherence to a healthy diet, maintaining the framework to keep yourself on track, like keeping your phone calendar up date, keeping lists of chores/errands you need to do, working on maintaining a hierarchy of needs (most immediate things to do, and most important), etc. This is the big one though, this person is allowed to criticize you in your failings on this, and you need to take that criticism, and use it as a call to focus on these areas. You may need more than one person willing to help. If you are isolated, there are online groups for these things. No this isn’t a great alternative, but it is better than nothing, and living in despair.
You need to audit your behavior. You need to make a record of the things you do that are mentally taxing, and thus can harm your mental health. Do you spend all day, every day, at work, or stressing about work? You need to find a place you can vent this stress, and look for advice on how to disengage with work enough stop burn out, but still do what is expected. If what is expected is just too much, you need to recognize it, and work on finding a lower stress income. Do you doom scroll? Well look into apps that help you regulate the time you spend online. Also, audit your experience with the platforms you engage with. If you find one is mostly something that adds to your stress, depression, despair, etc. work on just cutting that out completely. Look and your personal relationships, and really try to assess whether or not your relationships are healthy, if not, how can they become healthy? If there is not foreseeable way to make it healthy, go low-contact, pilot no contact. If your daily life has any improvement because you no longer maintain contact, then it is time to drop them.
Social activity. This will depend greatly on how much socializing, and what kinds, you can handle, etc. This one is much more tricky, especially since anxiety, anhedonia, and other negative aspects of your mental health. However, you need to work on getting some sort of in person social contact. It needs to be regular, and I don’t mean like all the time, but that there is a routine set-up for it. Local hobby groups, activities at the local library, publicly held events you may attend, try to work out a specific time period where you, and at least one friend/family member, can spend that time together doing an agreed upon activity.
Do things that allow you to put your thoughts into more of an order than they may currently be. This could be a journal, personal blog, etc. Just something where you can dump your brain, look at what came out, and apply some structure to it.
Spend time outside. Be it with people, or alone, just force yourself to spend time outside, especially in places you can see nature, see green, etc. If you just sit there observing it, it will help to maintain wellness. This is subtle, and takes a while, however it does have a real impact.
There is more, and I can ask my therapist, when I see her this week, for resources for all this, and I can update with what she says, if she is willing, which I do not see why she wouldn’t be.