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Stop touching your stuff!

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Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/9349eb87-3a8d-4c99-91bf-534120c65a14.png

source

Comments

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  • Hupf@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Username checks out.

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  • Professorozone@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    LOL. Must learn to think before I speak/post. So hard.

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  • M0oP0o@mander.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    “Hands full of penis” is a great title.

    Mrs. Jane “Hands full of penis” Smith or Mr. Samuel “Hands full of penis” Finch

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  • simplejack@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Video proof that’s not true

    youtu.be/uKNX5xH4fyU

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  • pulsewidth@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    1000039163

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  • ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Protip: you can climb perfectly well if said dicks are in your ass.

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  • eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I can sure send the guy to heaven though…

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  • slackassassin@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Image

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  • realitista@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    No!?! Watch me!!!

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    • finitebanjo@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      TBH I could easily climb 1 handed if I tried.

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  • Holyginz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Fuck that, I better at least get a damn elevator.

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  • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Fuck you. I’m waiting for the shuttle anyway.

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  • Professorozone@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Touching your penis IS heaven.

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    • Allero@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Aw, thanks :3

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  • modifier@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I was literally touching my penis when my eyes alit on this post.

    My first thought was that this was an incredible coincidence, and worthy of remark, but now I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m subconsciously handling this thing more than I realize.

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  • velummortis@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    What about two penises

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    • Frozengyro@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      What do you think the ladder is made of?

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      • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Penises obviously.

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  • HughJorgens@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Hell, I just slang it over mah shoulder!

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  • Juice@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    You say that, but what about St. Paul who is definitely in heaven and was a pathological gooner

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  • Famko@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I love this image.

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    • ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I like it too

      Image

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  • AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I mean, I only really need one hand to climb.

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  • RBWells@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Maybe not to heaven but you might get close?

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  • diemartin@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Thank god ❤️

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  • TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I hoping to ascend and not to climb. I’ve gotta say, I’m worried that after a while god might not be able to do it. Like he gets me half way up and then I just kind slowly drop down to earth… And hes like all apologizing … “Sorry, it’s been a long day. This has never happened to me before. Maybe we can try again in the morning.” So on and so on.

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  • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Oooohhhh, I get it now, it’s because you can’t climb a leader with a raging boner, or at least it’s unsafe since you break every step.

    But as others have pointed out, a leader made of dicks doesn’t have that problem since they snap back unto place.

    Gods must be a great engineer.

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  • Prime_Minister_Keyes@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    🎶 What’s love but a second hand in motion. 🎶

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  • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    What if I make a penis ladder?

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    • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      If the boners are consistently rigid enough, you might be able to space them out a little to allow for a wider climbing stance, considering the tip-to-tip pressure would be unlikely to generate much added support for your bodyweight.

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      • toynbee@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Hopefully it doesn’t take more than four hours to ascend.

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    • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      What songs lyrics are these fire verses???

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      • Darohan@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Bloodhail by Have A Nice Life?

        “Faces sweaty, arms and legs, what a glorious set of stairs we make” 😉

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      • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        This is gonna drive me insane wondering what tune you sung those words to in your head. 😬

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  • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Plot twist. The ladder is made of penises.

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  • hperrin@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    So stop at every rung to jerk off. I’m not in a hurry.

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  • djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Hey who said I had to have my hands full of my own penis? I don’t need to touch it to masturbate, and I’ve touched plenty of other guy’s penises. Is my “ladder to heaven” just going to be made out of every guy I slept with? Seems a bit sexist.

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  • Mvlad88@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Pennies*

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  • HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    [deleted]
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    • ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Ok I’ll watch you stop

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      • HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
        [deleted]
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  • Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I mean, wouldn’t you have fairly strong grip strength with a lot of “practice?”

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    • bstix@feddit.dk ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death-grip_syndrome

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      • Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I guess someone with that condition could climb the ladder in a hurricane.

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