I hate being on ladders, I’ll stay down here with the penises.
Stop touching your stuff!
Submitted 5 weeks ago by ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/9349eb87-3a8d-4c99-91bf-534120c65a14.png
Comments
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Thanks for assuming it’s a handful
Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 weeks ago
What if I make a penis ladder?
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
If the boners are consistently rigid enough, you might be able to space them out a little to allow for a wider climbing stance, considering the tip-to-tip pressure would be unlikely to generate much added support for your bodyweight.
toynbee@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Hopefully it doesn’t take more than four hours to ascend.
Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 5 weeks ago
What songs lyrics are these fire verses???
Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 weeks ago
This is gonna drive me insane wondering what tune you sung those words to in your head. 😬
Darohan@lemmy.zip 5 weeks ago
Bloodhail by Have A Nice Life?
“Faces sweaty, arms and legs, what a glorious set of stairs we make” 😉
hperrin@lemmy.ca 5 weeks ago
So stop at every rung to jerk off. I’m not in a hurry.
zloubida@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
I know it’s shitposting, but even if we accept the idea that God would be interested by what you do with your own body when you’re alone, isn’t the whole point of the Bible that you don’t have to climb to go to heaven, but accept God’s grace?
ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Some would even argue that the point isn’t to accept god’s grace but to be a good neighbor and take care of your fellow man.
zloubida@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Yes, I agree. I meant the point about heaven 🙂.
ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Some would even argue that the point isn’t to accept god’s grace but to be a good neighbor and take care of your fellow man.
velummortis@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 weeks ago
What about two penises
slackassassin@sh.itjust.works 5 weeks ago
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Wait, I have to climb all the way up there? No thanks. I’ll rather stay down here and spank the monkey.
modifier@lemmy.ca 5 weeks ago
I was literally touching my penis when my eyes alit on this post.
My first thought was that this was an incredible coincidence, and worthy of remark, but now I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m subconsciously handling this thing more than I realize.
Prime_Minister_Keyes@lemm.ee 5 weeks ago
🎶 What’s love but a second hand in motion. 🎶
realitista@lemm.ee 5 weeks ago
No!?! Watch me!!!
finitebanjo@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
TBH I could easily climb 1 handed if I tried.
Holyginz@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Fuck that, I better at least get a damn elevator.
Juice@midwest.social 5 weeks ago
You say that, but what about St. Paul who is definitely in heaven and was a pathological gooner
TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
I hoping to ascend and not to climb. I’ve gotta say, I’m worried that after a while god might not be able to do it. Like he gets me half way up and then I just kind slowly drop down to earth… And hes like all apologizing … “Sorry, it’s been a long day. This has never happened to me before. Maybe we can try again in the morning.” So on and so on.
DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Sex gives you STI STOP SEX NOW
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 5 weeks ago
Oh fuck, for free???
I love Subaru
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Protip: you can climb perfectly well if said dicks are in your ass.
eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 weeks ago
I can sure send the guy to heaven though…
Professorozone@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Touching your penis IS heaven.
Allero@lemmy.today 5 weeks ago
Aw, thanks :3
ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Plot twist. The ladder is made of penises.
djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 weeks ago
Hey who said I had to have my hands full of my own penis? I don’t need to touch it to masturbate, and I’ve touched plenty of other guy’s penises. Is my “ladder to heaven” just going to be made out of every guy I slept with? Seems a bit sexist.
Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
I mean, wouldn’t you have fairly strong grip strength with a lot of “practice?”
bstix@feddit.dk 5 weeks ago
Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
I guess someone with that condition could climb the ladder in a hurricane.
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 5 weeks ago
Unless you’re climbing a penis ladder
Omgboom@lemmy.zip 5 weeks ago
Even if I have a Jacob’s ladder?
PattyMcB@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
No… I like touching myself way too much
Dabundis@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
You will never touch your penis with your hands full of heaven ladder
PattyMcB@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Bold of you to assume I want to go to heaven with all of those “good Christians”
I would consider that an eternal punishment
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 5 weeks ago
I didn’t think we were supposed to climb to heaven. Isn’t that what the tower of Babel was about?
Professorozone@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
LOL. Must learn to think before I speak/post. So hard.
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 5 weeks ago
Fuck you. I’m waiting for the shuttle anyway.
AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
I mean, I only really need one hand to climb.
ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 5 weeks ago
You can hang onto the penis of someone who’s climbing.
joyjoy@lemm.ee 5 weeks ago
You can also buy an auto-jacker and go hands free.
rockSlayer@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
I love living in the future
DickFiasco@lemm.ee 5 weeks ago
Does the auto-jacker go on the penis or the ladder? Honestly sounds like it could work for either one.