RBWells

@RBWells@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨bisexual⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I always figured bi (or pansexual) was the default setting for humans. Most guys at least are flexible, if there is not a woman around any port in a storm, and if you weren’t raised with any conditioning it seems more normal to love individuals, not categories.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨My T-shirt size is L⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m guessing you are a dude. As a woman - I am usually a medium now, which makes logical sense, but sometimes need S or L, even in stuff from the same company. Or something called a 28 or 29, even though no part of me is 29" around. Sizing of clothing for women is wildly inconsistent, and even the size charts don’t help, they lie.

  So I do use those recommendations.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What are your approaches to donating?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Local community radio, monthly.

  A little towards anything I read or listen to, not often but as I can I do.

  Towards disasters if work is doing a fundraiser, we have a charity arm and I know where the money is going as I work in accounting.

  Directly to people, again as I can. This is the biggest $ category probably. If I have cash I will give it, don’t think about trying to sort out who “deserves” it, that’s not something I can or will do. Will pick up an extra meal occasionally if there is a homeless person around. And have given space in my house occasionally, though at least once did not when I really should have, there is an occasion I regret not offering that to someones I know - I think it would have helped them get back on their feet much faster but I was worried for my safety (from my ex not the people who needed).

  I don’t consider myself generous in light of what I have, but still digging out from being poor myself.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why are ghosts never racist?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  They are not corporeal so why would they care what your body looks like? To them it is just some envelope holding you, right? Your soul I don’t think would have race, or sex, those are embodied things, skin tone being the most superficial of all.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What is your age range for dating? 🤔 😮⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  In theory maybe 10 years in either direction (I’m old) but in practice I’ve only had long term relationships with guys within a couple years of my age.

  Lovers between times, for whatever reason I always ended up with younger guys, that seemed to be the people into me, but still never more than 10 years difference.

  When I was your age? One or two years at most. Absolutely not anyone much older or younger, no.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why do some people hate drinking water?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I don’t understand this either, but if you don’t like plain water, there are ways to make it taste different. Squeezed lemon in water is delicious, fizzy water is nice, there’s always Crystal Light, lol.

  I love so many drinks but if I could only have one, iced water is it. It’s the best drink of all and goes with every food.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨what would it take for you to take back a partner who cheated on you ?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  The circumstances.

  If it wasn’t a situation where it was a recurring character trait thing, but one time, unusual circumstances, quickly disclosed, STD tested before we did it again, and if we’d been together a long time first.

  Now, having said that - I don’t think infidelity comes out of nowhere, if it’s not a person who just always will cheat, there are usually problems leading to it. So it’s unlikely to work out. But I might be willing to see if it could.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨*pat pat pat*⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Carlos for scale.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I don’t think you are crazy for not wanting to drive, but don’t think it’s a good idea to quit because of the accident, either. Your dad is right, everyone does get on an accident eventually. I had a very bad one that totalled my car (someone ran a stop sign) and the trauma made me a bad driver for awhile, so watch out for that. But getting back behind the wheel, overcoming your fear and becoming a competent and comfortable driver is a life skill that will help you, even if you decide that you don’t want to have a car. The life skill of getting back in the saddle after a fall (metaphorically speaking) is an even more important life skill. But driving in particular really is helpful - I mostly bike now, but being able to drive well comes in handy at least weekly.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What are some good places/activities where a middle-aged man can new make friends?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  You are in Dallas? The main redeeming quality of Texas is the music. I wholeheartedly agree with this suggestion.

  Also going out to the same places at the same time can pay off, you will make acquaintances and some may become friends. I see a group of old guys at the cafe I go to for coffee, pretty sure they are only friends because they go get breakfast at the Cuban place and ended up talking and sitting together.

  I will say though, almost all my friends I met as adult came from work or from them going out with someone in my family. The medium level friends you are probably looking for. Do you not have work?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why do some people say "I wouldn't want a government to dictate what I eat"? This would mean they'd be against food safety regulations, would it not?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I think it’s more like government can ban what can be sold as food and make advice. They can’t really stop you from drinking bleach or eating the grass in your yard or whatever. They can only prevent you from feeding it to someone else or selling it as food.

  Meat isn’t a food that could be banned in the same way as, say, Red Dye #4 or force-hydrogenated fats or high fructose corn syrup. They could make farmers cull whole herds of cows if mad cow broke out i guess, but there are wild hogs, backyard chickens and goats, it’s just not a controllable food.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why do people care so much that their friend or family member’s partner is attractive and not just loving?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Ah, I see, you want to be the pretty one in the relationship ;)

  Your dad needs to get over it, I can’t imagine saying anything like that to any of my kids.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I would personally be squicked out by that age gap because she’s young enough to be your kid. But I’m not you or her, it’s not my business, right? If your daughter thinks she’ll be good for you, the reverse matchmaking is funny, why not at least meet and see how you feel?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Amazing.⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  They do not do deposit returns here anymore, but even so, most neighborhoods I’ve lived, people come look through the recycling for aluminum cans to scrap. So I would set them on the side in a tote instead, it was always such old people, moving slowly down the road with a rolling cart. This neighborhood is apparently too bougie for that, even though as far as I can tell we still are never more than 2 blocks from at least one homeless person.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨how did you and your partner change after having a baby?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I run pretty hot usually, good sex drive, but nursing absolutely dampened that down to below zero. Plus sex is frightening after birth. Plus having kids hanging on you all the time can certainly make you long for some space with nobody touching you, and a guy asking for sex on top of that can feel like an obligation. Again - I am saying this as someone who literally has sex every day most of the time, and pregnancy made sex feel even better. Nursing killed my sex drive. YES it passes, assuming your kids are healthy, they are easier over time, and eventually even somewhat helpful. Once that babyhood was over, I’d say they were stressful in the way a second job is - it’s just more of everything.

  Overall I would say kids were good for the relationship, we stayed together and happier because of them. My ex was helpful as a dad, wanted kids, as I did. Kids are hands down the best work I’ve done in my life, nothing else comes close. But it is stressful as fuck, yes. Especially at the start.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Obese is just a medical term. BMI is a height to weight ratio so it’s accurate in that way. It does miss as a measure of over-fat vs. overweight, but more often in the other direction (fat people with normal BMI) but it can err in the other direction sometimes, sure.

  The easiest and most accurate way to tell if you are over-fat is waist to height ratio. Your waist circumference should be less than half your height. So if you are 180cm, waist needs to be less than 90cm. This is the only stat that’s been a reliable predictor for health problems from too much fat (because it’s the torso fat that’s more problematic health-wise)

  The other thing to remember is that the risk curve for underweight is steep but for overweight it’s shallow - a couple extra kg has almost no extra health risk.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I grew up with the kids of the original set of Cuban refugees and thought it was because they were the rich people fleeing Castro. So they were already aligned with the right here,they like the idea of being on the upper side of a class divide.

  The newer ones may just be anti -abortion, there are a lot of those “single issue voters” everywhere not just here.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Paneraverse⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Nah, it’s the fates. One to spin, one to measure, one to cut.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Pedestrians Walking on Right or Left?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Walk against the traffic, bike with the traffic.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I am a parent of adults and really just want them to meet their own standards for themselves. My mom was the same. Sure I’d like grandkids, but not to the point I would ask! Their lives are for them to live.

  If you are asking about little kids, it’s because they are exhausting. We went out to get tacos and there was the cutest little boy running around yelling “va! va!”. How delightful for us but I’m sure his mom was tired of it, it was 8pm. I am sure she would be happy if he would just st sit down and eat now.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Not if you already know how to drive, no. My kid who was motivated to use my car learned easily, and I learned it in a day when the rest of the people I was with were too drunk to drive.

  But learning to drive in a new country? And manual at the same time? That seems more difficult. Can you practice here first? Does anyone you know drive stick?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Oh god⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Oh no it’s my dog!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨quick health tip⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I don’t know if you are joking but fresh orange juice, strong cold brew, and fizzy water is really good. I thought it would be awful but it’s delicious.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What was she thinking when she did this?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Mermaid hair! It’s awesome!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Hot sauce is for Dad to protect his food from scavenging by lesser beings⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  At home if I make pizzas I make one for me with anchovy, onion, and hot pepper flakes or pickled spicy jalapenos and that does usually keep everyone off it, and I love it, my ideal pizza. Salty anchovy, sweet onion, punchy peppers, so good!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Hot sauce is for Dad to protect his food from scavenging by lesser beings⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  It was the inverse in my house, oldest daughter and I are chiliheads, ex was not, though he was ok with mildly spicy stuff, not oversensitive. So daughter and I go out for Thai food because if it’s just us we can get it so spicy. We bring some home and warn the dad don’t eat it, it’s spicy . He gets stoned and forgets, eats it and was literally traumatized; would not touch anything spicy for a couple of years.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Is it weird to juggle in the park?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Not at all weird where I live. Very good use of the park.

  If it’s weird where you are, even better. Go for it.

  We had a little used parking lot a couple blocks away from my old house and there was a guy who practiced the tall unicycle there. For 20 years, we would drive past that corner taking kids to/from school & us to/from work and it never failed to delight us when he was there.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨OMG no please don’t call me.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Chat > face to face > video call > call

  But the last two are a near tie. Both suck. Phone calls are the worst by a small margin though.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨A completely useful compulsion I have.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I do also balance the carton. Not always absolute symmetry but don’t want someone to drop them.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨If I snapped you back in time 650 years right this very second, how would you use your current knowledge to succeed?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  1375? Die from malaria, I guess? Be eaten by an alligator? Or oh no, hasten the demise of the Tocobaga with my exotic biology? Either they would kill me or get me sick, or vice versa. Also, fall on my ass when my house disappeared.

  I would follow the river to the bay, I guess, and see if I could find anyone, or anything I might be able to eat.