RBWells
@RBWells@lemmy.world
- Comment on Work from home 18 hours ago:
We went back to the office, I don’t care because my commute is immaterial BUT now I leave my laptop there, I disassembled the workstation at home and packed it away, I will not work at home now. Teams is on my phone because I don’t put the work email on my phone and needed a way to tell my team if I will be unexpectedly delayed. I don’t open it ever though, and now we have a group text might take it off too.
- Comment on [deleted] 3 days ago:
I think populations will crash, either gently through fewer kids, or violently through war and disease. That will likely throw us backwards technologically, maybe not.
Or, who knows, maybe the population will stabilize and we get everything going in the right direction, then an asteroid hits.
- Comment on I will not be taking questions. 4 days ago:
Our Kimchi is working so hard on this and I don’t usually think of her as clever. She knows the knob opens the door so she bats at it, hangs on it.
Neither cat has been messing with the toilet paper lately though.
- Comment on Windows 11 is now automatically enabling OneDrive folder backup without asking permission 4 days ago:
I got a new laptop at work and everything, every file I worked in, was creating a second copy of itself on OneDrive. It was so annoying and took awhile but I found instructions on deleting the duplicates.
It took all the files off my local machine and left the ones on OneDrive.
Aaaargh!
- Comment on How do I read trade paper back comic book collections, but in cohesive narrative? 5 weeks ago:
I look at the issues collected in the graphic novel. Often I’m buying these quite late in the game. Standalone series are the best - it IS difficult to drop into such an established universe as Marvel or DC. I haven’t run out of reading material yet, if you want suggestions.
Sometimes there is a reboot, I read Moon Knight when it got rebooted, well before the TV show, and that was easy to follow. So if you look for a series that starts at a new beginning point that works.
- Comment on Why is head hair different from other hairy parts? 1 month ago:
If you sat on your head, maybe your head hair would be fucked up too! There are different follicles all over our body, there is a bigger difference between, say, arm hair and head hair, than there is between pubes and head hair. We evolved that way, I’m not sure there’s a “why” beyond that. People with long head hair and short sparse body hair were more likely to reproduce.
- Comment on How come liberals dont hate conservatives the way conservatives hate liberals 1 month ago:
Maybe it’s just your friends? I know my ex and his brother cannot stop talking about politics when they come over, they are extreme as heck though. It’s all conspiracies, voter fraud, everyone out to get them because they are white guys, but they should be in charge because they are white guys, they made it all the way to thinking women ought not be allowed to vote, not kidding. I wish they didn’t talk politics because what they say does make me want to hate whoever is profiting from this radicalization.
Or maybe they don’t have to care about politics because it’s going their way, all sunshine and rainbows (well maybe not rainbows) as far as the eye can see? They don’t have to care that abortion is getting outlawed or that the state is gerrymandered to make the legislature more conservative than the state, they don’t have to care because they are winning? But would talk about politics if it wasn’t going their way?
I do believe you, just not sure your friends are typical. Also hopefully mine aren’t.
- Comment on I have amblyopia. Is this accurate? 1 month ago:
I don’t have the lazy eye but damned if I can see through binoculars. I can’t. The image just never resolves.
- Comment on „If companies were to do the right thing, they would lose the most valuable customers on earth, preteen kids” 1 month ago:
2 of my kids are young enough that they were targeted by the micro transactions, but the total lifetime spend on gaming stuff is under $1k, mostly spent on a PS4 and a PC for gaming, bought some Steam games, some PS games and both spent a little in Genshin. But not ever from my money, except for the equipment, I split that cost with them. $0 before they were 15. And they both UNDERSTAND money, both got part time jobs in high school, they make money. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to throw a little cash at a game you enjoy but it needs to be a decision not an impulse, turn off the game and think about it.
- Comment on If you take care of your parents or other elderly, how are you preparing to age gracefully? 1 month ago:
Thank you for this rant and I agree, I ought not need to spend years being greedy as fuck just to be able to afford end of life care.
- Comment on If you take care of your parents or other elderly, how are you preparing to age gracefully? 1 month ago:
My mom stayed fit and walked everywhere, and was a teacher and curious lifelong learner& traveler sort of person and still got dementia before she died. Her mom too. Honestly it terrifies me but there is only so much you can control. I do work out and stay fit and so far so good, I honestly feel great. My hope is that science comes through with a good treatment, and between me & my husband we have a lot of children to hopefully help some of we need it.
- Comment on It must confuse English learners to hear phrases like, "I'm home", instead of "I am at home." We don't say I'm school, or I'm post office. 2 months ago:
Te amo.
Nos vemos.
The top two are not too far out, the Spanish is similar - “you I love” “see us”. Be right back is so weird in English but funnier in Spanish, ya vuelvo, direct translation “I am already back”
- Comment on Why do Americans measure everything in cups? 2 months ago:
Everything. “How far to the restaurant?” “18 cups or so”
'The music is too loud, turn it down a few cups!"
I do actually like weight better for measurements, have a scale and that IS easier, agreed. But most recipes don’t need to be so exact, and not everyone has a scale so volume measurements work. I just use a regular spoon for teaspoon and have cup measures, a small coffee cup here is 8oz, we have some of those too.
- Comment on Does anyone speak hairdresser? I need help communicating. 2 months ago:
I am both a former barber and a lady who goes 6 months between haircuts.
I basically tell my stylist, it’s been 6 months so can you take off 3 or 4 inches? (Hair grows about half an inch per month.)
You should probably tell them you want a fade, tapered from #1 to about an inch and a half on the top (or however long you want it) and also tell them how long it’s been, or if you have a picture of YOU with the hair you want show them that too. A picture helps a lot.
- Comment on Ain't no one around to hate in the basement. Just me and my jug. 2 months ago:
Because they don’t taste good and fermented mushrooms have an off-putting texture? I like the flavor of most edible mushrooms but the psylosibe are not tasty.
Microdosing is something I’d really like to try though, it probably WOULD be a really nice energy drink, something that just opened you and woke you just a little not bash you over the head psychedelic.
- Comment on [CW: Slurs/pejoratives, morality] When is it considered immoral if someone is saying something that they know is pejorative and they are not intending it as disparaging towards the original group? 2 months ago:
On the internet, not in person? Probably never. Too hard to figure out your tone.
In person? Just depends on your audience I’d guess, my actual gay friends don’t mind being called gay, or queer, or jokes about meaner words when they are meant in a gentle and friendly way, they know me and I know them so we know how to communicate. I don’t find the words useful in other contexts, really only use them to describe a person’s sexuality.
With regard to things not people? Some of the “slur” words still work. I regularly retard my sourdough bread by putting it in the fridge for a day or two, the dough is retarded, slowed down.
- Comment on What characterizes feminine strength? 2 months ago:
Femininity is something people do, not something inherent to being a woman. (Also, with regard to the way you posed your question, technically a man is a woman with different bits, not the other way around.)
I don’t know how to split out socialization from biology, honestly. Are you asking what strengths are considered feminine and are also admired by men? Probably being able to handle physical pain, being good at organizing, endurance in the face of adversity or grief. Ability to read a room, pick up on cues, make people feel comfortable.
Are you asking what strengths are admired by women, what do we consider a strength of women? You will probably get different answers from different women but I think women are often better able to consider a whole situation rather than focusing on one part of it and messing up another part; and that we are usually better at handling physical pain without whining.
If you are asking how willpower feels for me as a woman, though? In terms of deferred gratification? Probably about how it feels for you. Sometimes easy, sometimes it sucks.
- Comment on How do I stop wanting to be on a relationship? 2 months ago:
Give yourself some grace - I noted in my reply that my husband, coming out of an abusive relationship had the string of two years relationships but we are solid, twelve years now and it doesn’t feel like a long time. I had a different experience, though also was coming out of a relationship that had become physically abusive. There are things I have had to unlearn.
You say you are working with a therapist, that should help, but again, you aren’t broken. All of what you are feeling sounds normal.
- Comment on How do I stop wanting to be on a relationship? 2 months ago:
I know people like this, it’s normal IMO to need social connection, I don’t think you are broken or anything, modern life is hard in a way and if you are a man, it can be even harder because in general men don’t have as many other ways to connect with people so rely more on their romantic partners to provide it. But yes kind of shitty to use people because you can’t be alone so I understand wanting to change it.
If I was being snarky, I’d say have kids because oh my God does that teach you to value solitude.
Therapy is probably the best answer but mindfulness, meditation might help. Sit with your thoughts until you figure out what is happening. And don’t discount the value of weak social connections, talking to people at work, going to the same place to get coffee or a drink every day, go physically to the library for books, go shopping at little places with real cashiers. All that casual interaction is really good for you, not just deep friendships and lovers but regular shallow contacts too.
- Comment on In movies a strong woman is manly. (big muscles, aggressive, punches people, etc.) Is that really the way it is? 2 months ago:
You are conflating strength of character with masculinity? Why?
The answer to your question is no. Women are people, men are people. I think to some extent maybe physical fitness in anyone (anyone able -bodied) correlates with persistence and impulse control, but physical and verbal aggression correlates with a lack of impulse control and lack of empathy. So negative association with strength of character, in anyone male or female or other.
- Comment on How does the day-to-day work of not wearing shoes in the house? 2 months ago:
You are licking your floors regularly? Then yes sir, absolutely will take off my shoes. I would not dance on someone’s table in shoes; if you eat off your floor I understand.
But really, of course if someone asked I wouldn’t dream of pushing back, it’s your house not mine. Do people really fight you on that?
- Comment on How does the day-to-day work of not wearing shoes in the house? 2 months ago:
Same here. Wood floors, 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 kids. I will still argue that wood floors are cleaner than carpet but cat litter, dogs don’t wear shoes and it doesn’t snow here or anything like that.
I just don’t have the sort of controlled situation that people who ban shows in house seem to have. Yes we wipe the dogs’ paws before they come in in the summer when it’s muddy and yes I have gardening boots that don’t come inside, but I put on shoes when I get dressed. We do run the Roomba twice a day, have a biweekly cleaning service, central A/C with filters and an air purifier, it’s not filthy by any means but the floor is the floor, we walk on it.
Like, if you are having a party and people are dressed up, they are barefoot? When they go on the back deck do they run to the front and grab their shoes then take them off again to come inside to grab a drink? Is it just that people up north are used to getting undressed when they come inside anyway so shoes are just like coats and scarves and hats to you? Like OP I have questions.
- Comment on Unbothered. Moisturized. Happy. In My Lane. Focused. Flourishing. 2 months ago:
I live here and it’s fine in the cities, they just have us gerrymandered to shit. And yes, I grew up here and never saw the beauty until I left for awhile and came back.
- Comment on Unbothered. Moisturized. Happy. In My Lane. Focused. Flourishing. 2 months ago:
This guy is so cool. Really sees the beauty of Florida.
- Comment on I'm a US citizen, people in other countries, what do you think when you read stories like these about the US health care system? 4 months ago:
Yeah, it’s not a healthcare system. It’s a jobs system and wealth transfer scheme. Insurance companies have the government in their pocket and get employer money, government money, and employee money and transfer it to the already outrageously rich, and all that in between cost (salespeople, billing specialists, HR benefits specialists) is somebody’s paycheck.
That’s without consideration of actual fraud, which moves money from the government to the rich without even providing services at all, and is easier to hide in such an outrageously complicated and expensive system.
- Comment on What's the best type of food to eat in an active shower? 4 months ago:
My kids will eat anything in the shower. But I would say mango, I can only eat that over the sink anyway, so messy.
- Comment on Would magically turning all trans people into the gender they want to be be unethical? 5 months ago:
I think yes, you doing it would be unethical as you cannot get the consent of all the people you’d be affecting. Making the option available would certainly ease suffering but your blanket statement “that’s what they want” assumes something that certainly isn’t true for every single trans person.
- Comment on Can I Blend Frozen Cooked Shrimp (with Skin) to Create a Soup? 5 months ago:
No. If you want to rescue them for soup, peel them, boil the shells in water with half an onion, a stalk of celery if you have it, to make a quick broth, throw out the shells and veg and keep the liquid.
Then put some butter in the pan melt it, whisk in some flour. Once it’s combined and a thick paste, slowly add back in the broth. Then put in your overcooked shrimp till warmed, take it off the heat and add some cream and season with salt and pepper. Simple shrimp soup.
But no, it’s not as simple as pureeing shrimp in the blender. That won’t give you anything edible.
- Comment on what has worked for you to stop getting angry thinking about people who hurt you? 5 months ago:
Physical effort does calm the mind. Even if you don’t like it, we are animals and made to move around, walk, run some, stretch to reach things, climb, dance. There isn’t really a substitute for that.
- Comment on When on a diet, does you body have the same weight loss across the entire person including visceral fat? 5 months ago:
Plenty of women put on belly fat too though. Most of us aren’t the hourglass type. I do understand what you are saying though.